Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, KOTOR II
Kaze no Furu Sora
May this be my parting gift to you Exile… Kreia's words still echoed in her mind.
Tove cradled the old woman's head in her lap, pushing back the bangs that framed her old wrinkled face. The Exile closed her eyes, biting her lower lip, letting the tears flow down her cheeks silently. She had finished it and yet her work was not done. There was a cracking sound to the left of her. She shifted a bit to the right, dragging Kreia with her. Damn…I need to get out of here. She turned her attention back to the woman who was resting in her lap. I suppose I deserve to die here, don't I Kreia? After all that I've done.
The cracklings in the foundation were coming toward her now and pieces of the Trayus Core was crumbling around her. She moved trying to find stable land but each time she moved more land would fall around her.
"TOVE!" That voice…
Tove looked up. The Ebon Hawk. Everyone was safe.
"Tove! COME ON!" he yelled again reaching out for her. She looked down at Kreia resting in her lap and then toward Atton. She closed her eyes and shook her head.
"I won't make it!" she yelled back. Another piece of land around her fell and she gave a yelp of surprise. The Ebon Hawk hovered a little closer to where she was. Atton still was reaching for her.
"GIVE ME YOUR HAND!" He yelled.
She looked at Kreia in her lap. What was there for her here? She had to go back though. She had to go and leave everything that she knew behind to follow Revan. She couldn't die here. Tove closed her eyes and shook her head fierecly. Slowly she let Kreia's head slide off her lap and onto the floor below her. Tove smiled sadly, leaning down a bit so her face was near Kreia's. "Thank you, Kreia." she whispered before she stood up and turned to Atton. She took a deep breath and used her last bit of strength to call on the Force to propel her at an ungodly speed to the Ebon Hawk before anymore of the Core collasped around her. She jumped upon nearing the edge and reached out her arm for Atton's. He grasped her wrist with two hands while backing up the ramp and into the Ebon Hawk. Bao-Dur and Mical appeared in the ramp helping Atton to pull the Jedi in.
"Mira! Get us outta here!" Atton yelled once they had pulled Tove into the Ebon Hawk and the ramp was closing. The Ebon Hawk sped off through the jagged inner core of Malechor 5. A few moments later they were out of Malechor V and off into deep space.
Once they had gotten a bit more organized, Mical was the first to turn his attention back to Tove. "Are you alright?" he asked.
Tove looked up at the calm, gentle face of the Disciple. She nodded slowly. Her body was tired from this whole ordeal. Mical kneeled down by her. "Are you sure?" he asked.
She nodded again, drawing her knees underneath her body as she tried to sit straight. "I…I just…" She felt her vision began to blur. "I…" She placed a hand to her forehead and fell to the floor, feeling everything go black.
When Tove awoke she was in her bunk in the woman's quarters of the Ebon Hawk. Her hair had been removed from it's normal ponytail and currently fell over her shoulders. Her wounds had been tended to whilst she slept. She moved over on to her side. Her crew would most likely want to know what had happened on Malechor V. She wasn't ready to tell them. Not just yet. Was she to tell them of their fates? What Kreia had told her about would become of her friends. What would become of her in the future?
She would have to leave them all behind. Tove curled further into the sheets, tracing a finger on the pillow. She didn't want to leave them and yet the Sith threat was still present and it was what she had to do. She would follow Revan and venture into the unknown. Tove closed her eyes holding back more tears. I'm not strong enough for this. I can't do this. She pulled the sheets closer around her neck, and shook her head. It is what I must do… She sat up in bed after her constant shifting.
"Ah. You're awake." Tove turned her attention to Mical who stood in the doorway with a tray of food in his hands. He smiled warmly at her. "I was just coming to check on you." He advanced toward her bunk and laid the tray down on her lap.
Tove looked down at the tray in front of her and a lazy smile crept across her face. "…Thanks." she mumbled.
Mical smiled. "I haven't seen a hint of a smile on your face in ages. It's good to see it again."
Tove looked up at Mical. "I haven't really found reason to smile lately." Her face reverted back to an emotionless state. "Where's Atton?" she asked.
Mical sat down on Tove's bunk as she shifted her feet over so he had space to sit. "He's in the front with Mira. Would you like me to get him for you?"
Tove shook her head. "No."
Mical nodded. "Alright."
There was silence between the two for some time. Tove tapped her finger against her thigh thoughtfully and Mical waited patiently for her to speak. She began. "It was hard you know." The disciple perked up and nodded urging her to go on.
Tove slid a hand over her face and held the left side of her head as she talked. "It was hard to strike her down. I know. She was the one that tried to convert me into something evil and yet…she taught me things. She taught me so many things. I was dear to her. She placed her faith in me." She shook her head. "Now she is gone. I had to do it. I know I had to."
Mical placed a comforting hand on Tove's shoulder. "It is alright to feel this way. You will come to terms with what you are feeling with time. It would be best if you rested now. Your soul needs it."
Tove smirked. "Always the optimistic one."
Mical nodded. "In these times it is usually best to keep a positive out look on any situation."
"So when are you going to talk to her?" Mira asked, currently sat in the co-pilot chair helping Atton pilot the Ebon Hawk through hyperspace. Atton didn't respond. His gaze was fixed on the blue hue of the computers in front of him. Mira rolled her eyes. "Giving me the silent treatment won't work buddy. I know ways of getting information out of men and trust me, none of them are all to pleasent."
Atton grimaced. "Look. I don't want to talk about Tove at the moment."
Mira casually leaned on her left arm. "So I guess that love sick expression I see you give her all the time if just my imagination, huh?"
Atton remained silent. Mira leaned back in her seat staring out at the darkness of the deep space that surronded the Ebon Hawk. She sighed. "Eventually you will have to talk to her. She's distanced herself from us ever since we came back from Dantooine. I think you've taken it the hardest." Mira closed her eyes. "She's in pain Atton. She doesn't let it show but it's there."
Atton raised his head to look at Mira, an agitated tone in his voice. "I know she's in pain Mira but how am I ever going to help her if she won't let me?"
Mira crossed her arms and was silent in thought. Atton pounded his fist on a panel in front of him. "The only time she's looked at me since her little visit with the Jedi Masters on Dantooine is three hours ago on Malechor V!"
Mira, feeling a presence behind the two, turned around slightly in her seat. Mical stood behind the two. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything. Forgive me if I am." Atton mumbled something under his breath and focused on piloting the Ebon Hawk.
Mira shook her head. "Don't worry about it Di. How's she doing?"
Mical walked further into the cockpit. "She seems to be doing okay physically her spirit, however, is another thing." he turned toward Mira. "A lot has happened and she needs healing. I tried to talk to her but our conversation ended as soon as it had started and she wouldn't say anymore. I don't think I am the right person for her to open up to at the moment."
Mira sighed. "Give it time. Forcing her won't help any."
Atton stoop up abruptly. Mira and Mical turned to look at him. "…I'll go talk to her."
o—o
"Revan...is defying the Jedi council really the right thing to do?" Tove walked up from behind her friend. She stopped where Revan stood and looked out of the window in front of her.
Revan closed her eyes. "Tove the council let's people suffer. Something must be done before the Mandolorians complete destroy the galaxy. We must do something. I'm sure you've felt this way, haven't you?"
Tove nodded. "I have Rev…I have. I just…what will happen to us?"
Revan folded her arms. "We fight. That is what'll happen to us. We'll put an end to this insanity Tove. You, Malak and I. The three of us and anyone else that will join in our effort."
Tove placed her hands on the glass window. "I admit…I am a bit afraid."
Revan smirked, unfolding her arms. "Fear is what fuels your desire to fight."
Tove leaned off of the glass and turned toward Revan. "Fear?"
Revan nodded. "Fear. Just think about it. Fear is a human emotion. Human emotion's guide our actions. Fear fuels our thirst for the knowledge of the unknown. Without knowing the unknown we fear it. You don't know what the battlefield is truly like so you fear it. You want to learn more."
Tove turned toward Revan. "The Jedi Master's?" she asked
"They fear that we will learn the truth Tove. That compels them to forbid us to help in the war effort." Revan folded her arms again.
Tove was silent for quite a while. Her gaze stayed fixed on the space outside of the window of the room she and Revan stood in. The door opened behind the two. Revan turned around to greet Malak who had just come in and the two began to talk. Fear…Tove shook her head and turned around quickly to join Malak and Revan as they began to walk outside and prepare for the battle to come.
o—o
Tove was currently half awake in her bunk when Atton came in to check on her. She groaned as she awoke from her dream and turned over on her side to face her visitor. She leaned up slightly in the bed as he advanced toward her and kneeled beside her bunk side. "Hey." she said.
"Hey." he responded. There was silence between the two. Tove fiddled with her hands and Atton moved himself from the kneeling position to sitting on her bunk fully.
Tove looked up at Atton finally. "You know it was hard to kill her even if she was an old Sith witch. She helped me to reconnect with the Force Atton."
Atton grimaced. "So I suppose that makes up for all the times she told you you were weak for helping all those people out on Dantooine, Onderon and Nar Shadaa. All those times she tried to corrupt you and you resisted it. I guess those don't matter, do they?"
Tove shook her head, her eyes crinkling as if she were on the verge of crying again. "Atton, I never said those didn't matter! It was just hard to do what I had to do…why can't you understand that?"
Atton shot up from his sitting position on the bunk. "The old hag didn't care about the rest of us! It was all about you her 'precious Exile'! The one who could create echo's in the Force! The one who could bring the whole galaxy to its knees!"
Tove shook her head, biting her lower lip to try to keep from crying again. She lowered her head back to looking at the blanket. She balled the sheets within her hands and drew her knees up to her face. She couldn't take it any more. "…Stop it…just…just stop it! I can't take this anymore! I can't take any more of the pain. The lies, the yelling, the accusing! Everything!" He had gone too far. "Do you know what they told me? Do you?" Atton backed up. Tove pulled her knees back down to level with the bed. She got up slowly, her shoulder shaking. "They told me I would cause nothing but death no matter where I went! That's what they told me! Is THAT what you wanted to hear Atton? Do you want to know why I didn't talk to you after I came back? Why I didn't talk to anyone when I came back from Dantooine? Because I didn't want to hurt any of you more than I already had!" Her face was flushed.
"Tove, I—" Atton started. She cut him off.
"You just don't understand Atton! None of you can understand how much I've used you and yet still you call me your friend and stick by me! None of you know why you stick with me even after all that's happened…you…you just…" She fell into Atton's arms, overcome with fatigue from all her yelling. Atton caught her and she started to sob softly into his chest. He stroked the back of her head. "…If any of you get to close to me…I'm afraid of what might happen…" she mumbled through her sobs.
Atton drew his arms around Tove, hugging her closer to him. "Tove. Nothing will change the way I feel about you."
Tove looked up at Atton, her dark blue eyes misted by her tears. "But if I—"
He shook his head. "That doesn't matter. We've stayed together this long without you ever doing anything to harm any of us and we'll continue to do so…Tove…you keep all your emotions inside all the time. Let us be the one's to shoulder your burden once in awhile. Let us become a pillar of strength like you once did for us." Atton stroked her hair again. "…I love you. I don't want anything to happen to you…" he whispered into her ear.
She only managed to utter his name slightly before his lips descended upon hers.
o—o
The Ebon Hawk returned to Telos after the battle of Malechor V. There was to be a ceremony held in the crews honor. Tove was currently looking off into the window of the room she was staying in as she got ready for the ceremony. She folded her arms, took a deep breath and sighed.
After this ceremony she would have to leave and go follow in Revan's footsteps, leaving those she cared about behind. Tove turned around from where she was standing and walked over to the table to sit down at one of the chairs. She crossed her legs, tapping her left foot on the floor.
The door behind her opened behind her. Tove's gaze still stayed fixed on the space outside the window. It was Mira. "You ready?" the bounty hunter asked.
Tove nodded. "Just give me a few minutes…I'll be down soon." Mira placed a hand on Tove's shoulder. Tove turned to face Mira slightly and smiled. Mira nodded and walked away.
Tove stood, stared at her reflection in the window for a few moments and then left to follow Mira. Mira was gone but Atton was waiting for her by the shuttle. She smiled slightly upon seeing him and gave him a quick kiss as she stopped by him. The two boarded the shuttle silently and descended to the level the ceremony was being held at.
The ceremony began with a speech by Admiral Onasi. He addressed the people at the ceremony about the recent events which had taken place. From the restoration effort on Telos to the defeat of the three Sith Lords: Traya, Sion and Nihilus. After the brief speech by Admiral Onasi, he had asked Tove is she could give a speech on behalf of the Ebon Hawk's crew.
After her speech Tove had been bombarded by democrats of all sorts and asked questions, much to her dismay, about whether she would be interested in the various offers they had presented her with. She politely refused and retreated to an outside garden area where she could be alone from everyone.
Tove sighed. "Pweh…" she placed both hands in her lap and admired the scenery around her. She had to admit. The Ithorians really were great in their work. I will have to leave this all too soon.
"Nice speech back there." She turned. It was Atton. He gave her a roguish grin.
She looked toward him, smiled sadly then turned back to look at the space in front of her. He walked down the stairs to sit beside her.
"What's wrong?" he asked her.
She sighed again. "…Atton I…" she began.
He nodded, waiting for her to continue what she was going to say.
Tove turned to Atton. "…I have to leave you…everyone…" She hesitated with her next words. "…very soon." She turned away from him, feeling the tears coming near the creases of her eyes. She balled her hands in her lap. "I'm sorry." She mumbled.
He pulled her closer. "When are you telling the other's?"
"Soon." She answered.
He closed his eyes. "Then we'll enjoy what we have now. The future can wait for tomorrow."
Tove buried her head into his shoulder. "Atton…" She intertwined her fingers with his, sitting for that moment, waiting for what tomorrow would bring. She knew what she had to do. The Sith were still there no matter how many times their forces had been crippled by the Republic and the Jedi. There would always be darkness where there is light.
fin