Hey! I know I've got another story in the works, but I watched Captain America and The Avengers back to back today and this just wouldn't leave me alooooone!
Anyway, this isn't Tony/Steve! It's actually Tony/Loki, but this isn't a romance story so it's not prominent. This is meant to be a friendship fic between Steve and Tony. It's supposed to hit you in the feels! I don't know if it'll work like that, but I can hope right?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Marvel comics or any of its affiliates.
Warning: Language! And naughty wordplay between Tony and Loki at the very end!
I hope you like!
Tony noticed a pattern the Steve had; something the others didn't seem to see.
It'd been three years since Loki's attack on New York. Three years since Thor took him back to Asgard to be punished and subsequently returned to Midgard, powerless, to receive the same punishment Thor once had to endure.
(Loki of course bitched and moaned about it for a while before finally settling into pouting and then later to actually becoming a productive member of the society he'd once tried to destroy. The god would never admit it—for fear that the man's ego would grow—but Tony was actually a major player in softening Loki to the idea that humans—or mortals in general—weren't so bad. They're closeness during those first few months is what led Loki to saving Tony's life during a mission gone horribly wrong, gaining his powers back, and Tony finally admitting that he was completely enamored with the god.)
Three years since Steve woke up.
Tony honestly couldn't imagine how Steve must've felt; freezing in 1944 or so, and waking up to 2012 and all its technology and innovations. The billionaire wouldn't be surprised if the Captain himself still didn't believe it.
Anyway, Tony noticed that around the same time every year, between the middle of April to close to the end of June, the good Captain would become fairly distant with the rest of the Avengers: He would decline offers to hang out with the rest of them, take his dinner to his room, request more solo missions and direct team missions with as little personal emotion as possible, and disappear to some secret place whenever he had nothing else to do. So far, Tony hadn't been able to follow him.
Until now, that is.
The billionaire knew all of Steve's tells; especially when he was thinking about disappearing for the day: shifty eyes, and general, all-around avoidance of everyone.
So when Tony noticed Steve looking around himself suspiciously this morning when he came down to get his breakfast, the ex-playboy was quick to "accidentally" bump into Capsickle and place an inconspicuous tracking device on his back.
"Sorry, buddy, wasn't paying attention." Tony flashed a winning smile and patted Mr. Spangles lightly where he'd put the transmitter to make sure it was secured properly and unnoticeable to the untrained eye. Steve nodded slightly before beating a somewhat hasty retreat into his room.
It wasn't until noon that anything happened, and Tony was quick to suit up.
"Are you sure you wish to proceed?" Loki asked from his chair in the workshop, reading some blueprints interestedly. "I'm sure the reason for all the secrecy is… necessary. Perhaps he will tell you when he is ready?" Green, green eyes peered into the genius' thoughtfully, one eyebrow raised in question.
Tony scoffed, "Since when have I been a patient man, dear? I wanna know what has Cap so locked up this time of year, and I'm gonna figure it out. I figure this is better than cornering the man and questioning him. That would probably get me punched, and really," Tony looked to his boyfriend imploringly, "I'm too good looking to be punched; especially not by a chemically enhanced super-soldier."
The god laughed, "I figure either way you are going to be physically harmed. The only way I see you coming out of this unharmed is if you let him come to you."
"Yeah, well, I'm going to him, so he's going to live with it!" Tony gave Loki a quick peck on the lips and a jaunty wave, "Wish me luck!"
"I will do no such thing. Remember, anything that happens to you is your own fault." Loki returned to his blueprints and ignored his lover's pout, "I will also not be healing you afterwards."
"Whatever." And with that, Tony started up his flight-stabilizers and took off, following the beeping dot to the Lower East Side of Manhattan.
When the dot finally stopped, Tony found himself standing in front of Richards Cemetery. He powered down his suit, turning it back into its briefcase form, and stepped inside. He walked for a while, looking at the different headstones, but respectfully staying quiet and staying on the designated path.
He spotted Steve squatting by a fairly plain-looking headstone in an older part of the park. He approached quietly, and stood behind Steve at a (safe) distance. It was quiet. So quiet, in fact, that Tony nearly jumped when Steve spoke.
"You know, I expected Natasha or Clint to find me first, not you." The man stood to his full height and turned to face Tony with hard blue eyes. There was sadness and resignation lurking behind the guardedness, but the genius said nothing about it. "What do you want, Stark?"
"Don't jump to conclusions, Cap. What if I'm here to pay my respects?" Tony stated with pseudo-offense, but he sobered quickly, "I'm here because I don't like how you get when this time of year comes around and I want to know why."
Steve frowned, "It's none of your business Stark. Go back to the tower and leave me alone."
But Tony wasn't giving up, "Will you at least tell me who it is? Or let me see?"
The taller man looked about ready to protest, but his lips drew to a thin line and he stepped away to allow Tony to see the headstone properly.
Tony brushed passed Steve carefully and read what was written.
"In loving memory of
James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes:
a good soldier and a wonderful friend.
He died fighting alongside his comrades
for this great nation;
protecting the peace and freedom of everyone.
Born December -, 1920
Died June -, 1944
Aged 24 years"
"A friend from the war?" Tony asked mildly, trying to coax as much information out of Steve as he could.
Steve stiffened beside him, apparently offended by the question, and Tony quickly backed away.
"He wasn't just a friend." The blond hissed, eyes narrowed in rage. "He was my best friend, and my comrade in arms!" Steve looked away, eyes glassy with memories and tears, "I watched him die, and I couldn't do anything about it." Blue eyes locked with the word on the piece of marble, "I just… I wish… I wish I could've helped…If I could go back-!"
Tony placed a hand on Steve's shoulder carefully, "Steve… Buddy, you can't beat yourself up over this. He's gone; it's done, over, finished; in the past! You can't do anything to fix that."
"But if I could-!" Steve started vehemently.
"You can't!" Tony stated firmly. "You can't change the past; what happened, happened, and it's over now. You can't stew over this. Bucky died fighting with you, right? Don't disrespect his memory by depressing yourself with the 'What if's'."
"What would you know, Stark?" the bigger man muttered viciously, tearing his shoulder out of Tony's grasp.
Now Tony was getting mad. He spun Steve around to face him harshly, "Now listen here, asshole! Don't ask me what I know! I know plenty!" The billionaire put his hand over his Arc-Reactor, "Do you think I wear this for show? No, I don't. This is keeping me alive. You see, I've got little pieces of metal, shrapnel from one of my own damn weapons, trying their damned hardest to slither into my heart and kill me! I was taken hostage and there was only one person there who didn't want me dead. He's the one I wish I could thank for my life. And when I had everything I needed to save him, and get him out of that hellhole, I couldn't! I watched my friend die right in front of me too, so don't ask me what I know!" Tony roared angrily. "But guess what I did that you don't seem to want to? I moved on with my life! I became a leader in Arc-Reactor technology, and clean, long-lasting power. I'm a goddamned Superhero for Christ's sake! But all you seem to want to do is wallow in your own self-pity instead of moving on!"
"You don't get it!" Steve yelled, face red. "Everyone I loved is dead! My family is dead! My friends are dead! The only woman I ever loved is dead! Everyone is dead!"
"No, I don't think you get it!" Tony intoned, pointing at Steve. "We're here aren't we? We're your friends, aren't we? We've lived together, fought together, and yet all you want to do is be depressed over people who are gone! I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but goddamnit! Move the fuck on!" Tony panted in fury for a moment, and then just seemed to deflate. "You know what? Whatever. I thought we were friends, but apparently I was wrong. Just… Go angst over your real friends; see if I give a shit."
Tony dropped the briefcase on the ground and stepped on it, activating it, and pulled on his suit.
Steve was at a loss, "Tony, wait—"
"No. Come talk to me when you're ready to stop ignoring your friends in the present for your friends in the past." Tony didn't wait for a reply. He started the boosters and launched away from the small cemetery as quickly as he could.
Steve just watched after him, lost and confused. Somewhere, deep inside of him, the man knew that Tony was spot on. But, at the same time, while it'd been over seventy for everyone else, it had only been three years for him.
As the Captain mulled over Tony's words, he grew more and more determined to fix his mistakes and move on. He would never forget his friends, he knew that, but maybe he could one day look back and remember the happier times that they'd had. He had (or, hoped he had) new friends, comrades, to make memories with, in this time. They would never fill the void that had been created, but they could make their own space in his heart that could be theirs.
Resolutely, Steve looked back at Bucky's empty grave (Fury said they never found his body) before turning around and walking out of the park without looking back.
-
"Well, it seems you have come back unscathed." Loki commented as soon as Tony walked up from his workshop after putting up his suit.
Natasha and Clint looked up, "'Unscathed'…? What's he talking about, Tony?"
Tony ignored their questions for a moment in favor of getting a strong glass of scotch. Once he'd had a long drink, he faced them, "I followed Steve to wherever he disappears to during this time. Turns out it's a cemetery, where his 'best friend' is buried, but instead of just telling us where he goes, he does it all secret-like. It's like he expects us to laugh at him for visiting a dead friend." Tony rolled his eyes and took another gulp of scotch. "Fucking Captains and all their uptightness…"
The two assassins shared a look, but decided not to comment. They figured Tony will answer all their questions when he finally got drunk enough to rant out his frustrations (which would be incredibly painful for everyone involved), or Steve would tell them.
Bruce and Thor chose that moment to come into the room. The scientist took one look at Tony and asked, "What's wrong with you?"
Tony's eyes narrowed and he took a breath to begin his tirade, but was thankfully cut off by none other than the man that was obviously stomping rhythmically on his last nerve.
Steve grimaced when all eyes turned to him, but faced an expectant-looking Tony anyway, "You were right—"
Tony scoffed, "There's a surprise…" and took another drink.
"—and I'm sorry. I was out of line, and now I realize it." Steve scratched the back of his neck nervously, "It's just that… for all of you, it's been over half a century since world war 2, but for me, it hasn't even been half a decade. For me, it's only been roughly three years since I watched him fall. Back then, everyone was alive and well, and when I woke up, they were all gone… just like that." Steve snapped his fingers for example.
Tony's angry eyes softened. When Steve explained it like that… "Steve…"
But the man held up his hand, "No. Like I said: you're right; I need to move on." Steve smiled slightly. "It'll be hard, but, I'll get there eventually. I won't ever forget him, them, but one day I hope I'll be able to look back on the better times we had. And I'll have help," the Captain gestured to everyone gathered in the room. "You're my friends too, and it didn't register until you verbally handed me my ass on a silver platter."
Tony grimaced at the unexpected mental image, "Yeah, don't ever say that again please…"
Steve blushed, "Sorry…"
Tony waved it off, "It's no problem, Capsickle. We all have our moments. But now you know better, and we'll work on it. Like you said: we're your friends, and we're here to help."
Mostly everyone seemed to get the general gist of what had happened between the two. Except Thor, but he was happy all the same.
"I am confused." The god of thunder stated, "But this is a joyous occasion, no?"
Tony nodded, "Yeah, Point Break, it's a happy moment."
Thor beamed, "Wonderful!" He then proceeded to bear hug poor Steve. "It is wonderful that you have come to this conclusion Captain of America, though I know not what this is a conclusion of. Perhaps you will explain this to me?"
"Of… course, Big Guy…" Steve managed to choke out.
"C'mon Meatswing," the billionaire came over and patted Thor on his tree-like arm. "put him down before you suffocate him."
"Of course!" the god all but dropped Steve back onto the floor.
While the others laughed at the Captain's disheveled stated, Loki sauntered up to his lover, "You've done well. Though, I particularly enjoyed the thorough tongue lashing you gave Rogers at the burial grounds."
"You heard that?"
"But of course. You attract far too much trouble to leave you to your own." Loki chuckled.
The shorter man scowled, then smirked wickedly, "I'll show you 'tongue-lashing'!"
"Really now?" Loki raised an eyebrow in amused skepticism. "I'd like to see you try. Maybe if you prove worthy, I'll show you why they call me Silvertongue. Again…"
"Heh, challenge accepted."
"Ew… take your pillow talk to your bedroom, ya damn weirdoes!" Clint called in disgust.
"Oh shut up! You're just jealous that I'm getting something!" Tony flipped the archer off as he practically dragged Loki from the room.
"As if!"
"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt!" Tony yelled from his bedroom before slamming the door shut.
Did you like it? If so, leave me a review! And while your at it, go check out my other story 'The Guardians' and tell me what you think! If people don't like it, there's no point in continuing, but I really want to, so give it a little love! Help inspire me! Give me ideas, and criticism of the constructive variety!
Ja ne
~Tora