Just Another Step
Chapter One: Slipping
I drown myself in sorrow
As I look at what you've done
Nothin' seems to change
Bad times stay the same
And I can't run
She could tell you that this day was different, that it was a moment in time that changed all of her, but the truth was it was just like any other day. No intricate detail would be seared to memory concerning her realization, no, life was never like the movies. She had never been one for those heart wrenching romances that most girls her age went stupidly excited over, but still she knew what to expect, time didn't slow and lights never dimmed. It was slow coming, and maybe she'd known it for longer than she even realized, but she knew now for sure. Honestly she would be surprised if the whole world around her didn't know it now that she did, it was blatant.
Jade ran long fingers through long dark hair, pulling it out of her eyes and down around her face. Her eyes scanned the students milling about the lobby as she entered the main doors, god how were people so happy and alive at this hour, she thought dully as she took the steps through the small crowd in an attempt to get to her locker. She heard a giggle near by and knew it's owner the instant it reached her ears, prime example of someone who was far to perky in the morning, Tori. How was she so alive? It took jade two cups of coffee and first period to be over before she felt functional.
"Hey, Jade."
A voice sounded off to her left and she turned her eyes to fall on Beck, not the person she wanted to see first thing in the morning. It had only been a matter of days since they'd split, since she'd offered an ultimatum and he didn't follow her out the door, since she realized that the thought of them not being together hurt far more than the reality of it. She nodded in his direction as some sort of greeting, seeing as her hands were preoccupied with holding a cup of coffee, and the other busy with her lock. Her eyes found Tori's brown ones for a brief moment before she turned back to her locker.
Grabbing what she needed before reluctantly joining her friends, who were standing around the newest member locker, she sighed as she walked over. Cat and Andre had moved into join Tori and Beck when she was paying attention to her locked, apparently.
"Hi Jade!" Cat called when she noticed her approaching.
"Hey Red."
Honestly Cat would have to be the only one of the group she held her tongue with, knowing her bubbly attitude could shift into hurt very easily, she took that into consideration at least. See she may not have the cold heart that every one seemed to think she did. No one at this school seemed to understand what the term guarded meant, it would seem.
Andre only lifted his hand to wave and she stared at him before taking a sip of her coffee. He was honestly not someone she would have found herself hanging out with on her own accord, but being with Beck had broadened her friend choice, even when she'd let her discomfort at the idea be known. A voice sounded behind her, stating something to the effect of her looking great this morning. She turned on Robbie and Rex, pointing to the apparent extension of Robbie's being, she glared.
"If you would like to produce little Rex babies in any future I suggest you keep your comments about my backside to yourself, no matter how good it may look."
She pulled her finger back but not before sending Robbie a pointed glare. All eyes were on her when she turned around. She rolled her own at them, yes she'd threatened a puppets man hood, what was the big deal. Okay sure it was weird, but pretty much every one at Hollywood Arts had come to know Rex as his own person and not just the puppet Robbie carried around to say what he would never be able to say other wise.
"He deserved it."
She shrugged and took another drink of her coffee, not thinking to be careful, she burned her lips and sighed. She could tell today was not going to be a great one.
"Well you didn't have to threaten his man – puppet... puppet man hood? Anyways."
Tori trailed off before diverting her eyes away from Jade's as they bore into her. Jade knew her eyes worked in her favour, but when it came to having a stare down with little miss perfect, it came down to no contest. She always won, and sometimes she would let herself entertain the thoughts of why that may be. Though she was certain it was due to the total show of intimidation she'd offered the girl from the moment she set foot into Sikowitz's class.
"Sure I did." She smirked. "I pretty much say and do what I want, have you not come to that understanding yet Vega?"
"I think we all have."
Beck interjected. He had always been the one to come to Tori's rescue when it came down to situations with Jade. At first it was probably because he felt obligated to considering he was dating her, and someone had to apologize for her behaviour. Now though he knew that it was because she was too sweet to put Jade in her place, of course not many would dare to do so even if they did know how to do it.
Jade just smirked into her coffee cup. Cat was practically vibrating beside her with excitement over something as she looked up from her Pear phone and back down a few times. Rolling her eyes like she was irritated with her she sighed and smiled tightly.
"What is it Cat?"
Andre looked at the phone in her hand and then back to her "Yeah Cat, what is it?"
Everyone had their attention trained on the small girl as she grinned widely at them. Her hands went to her side as she rocked back and fourth a little.
"My brother found a puppy yesterday, and I think he's going to keep it." She giggled. "It's funny though because right after he found this one a neighbour down the street lost theirs."
Everyone just looked at her wondering if it would be appropriate to ask if the puppy, her brother supposedly found, was the same as the missing on. They were all used to stories of her brother being less than a glowing member of society, so to think that he might have stole the puppy was not exactly a far off thought.
"Well isn't that interesting timing, and in no way means that your neighbours puppy was - "
Jade was about to say stolen, but a hand reached out and clamped around her mouth, She glared at Tori who had silenced her, and was now giving her the same look most people did before they told her to behave or think about what she was going to say. When the offending hand didn't move she stuck her tongue out and licked.
"She licked me!"
Tori pulled her hand back and wiped it against he jeans before looking back up at Jade, who was smirking at her. There were thoughts running through her mind that she thought best to stop thinking, especially when those thoughts involved Tori Vega and licking. Still though she felt the need to make the other girl feel uncomfortable.
"Awe little miss Vega doesn't like being licked, who would have guessed."
Andre and Robbie both tried to hide their grins while Beck rolled his eyes and gave her a you've-got-to-be-kidding look. He was used to her sexual jokes, it was just something that came along with everything that was Jade West. Though normally she didn't make any jokes of that nature towards Tori, not to his knowledge anyways.
"Does anyone really liked to be licked... well unless its by a puppy, I mean that's just cute and – oh!"
Cat finally caught on and covered her mouth looking at Jade. She reached out and smacked her arm lightly.
"Jade! That was a bad joke."
"Yes, I know."
Her eyes found Tori's again who was being uncharacteristically quiet for once. Maybe she has struck a nerve? No way! Jade thought. Could that mean that Tori might be something that was not straight, that she would break away from the mold that everyone expected of her? Jade realized they were still staring at one another and tore her eyes away.
"Soooo."
Andre saw this as a good time to jump in with some good news, diverting the attention away from whatever had just happened. He clapped his hands together once to get the attention from everyone. All eyes turned to him. Cats being the most attentive.
"So Keenan is letting me have another party when he's away this Saturday night."
Face's lit up around him like it was Christmas morning. Jade however seemed to be the only one that remembered what happened at the last party that he held at the celebrities house. She looked up at Tori again, who was still smiling, she had to be remembering what had happened last time. Knowing Tori though, with her bright personality, she'd already let it slip away. Jade was not the same, she held onto things, onto her past like she would fade away if she didn't.
With a smirk to Rex Andre nodded. "Yes, you can tweet about it."
"I made the last party, man. My skills were off the hoook."
Cat giggled at the puppet and covered her mouth with a fist before rocking back and forth a few times.
"Until Sam killed you with her rap."
Beck was smiling that boyish grin all the girls seemed to love so much, and Jade would be lying if she said it had no effect on her at all. He was a very handsome boy after all.
Rex opened his mouth and closed it before turning his fluffy head towards Robbie.
"He does have a point."
Jade stayed quiet and watched the group as she often did. Like a cat watching it's pray she listened, took everything in. From their actions to how they spoke. Still though, she knew little of each of them. That was on purpose.
Before anything else could be said, the bell chimed and they were all off to class. Jade was distracted momentarily by her phone ringing in her hand, a look to the screen caused her eye brow to arch and confusion to mask her round face. What on earth could her father be calling her for.
Tori, who had just closed her locker cast a look between the backs of her retreating friends, already on their way to class, and then back to Jade. Why was she staring at her phone like it held the answers to life. She often wondered what might be going on her mind, what thoughts it might hold. Jade was intriguing, and it almost seemed dangerous to try to peek inside. Her phone had stopped and then started ringing once more and that was when Tori took a step towards her.
"Hey, are you going to answer that?"
Much like a surprised cat, her hair stood on end and her back straightened as she stepped back a step. She was almost surprised to see Tori standing in front of her, no matter how recognizable the young girl's voice may be.
"Uh, yeah."
Tori was taken aback to see such a shocked, and even scared look, on the other girls face. She was so accustomed to brief bouts of emotion from her. And even then, it was nothing raw, not like this. She would ask if she was okay, who it was on the other end of that phone, but she knew well enough it would only make her retreat into herself and snap with a cold voice that it was none of her business.
"I'll tell Sikowitz you'll be a little bit."
The only reaction she received from Jade was a curt nod of her agreeing before her phone started blaring a song that Tori didn't know, and this time Jade tapped the screen with an aggressive thumb, and brought the small device to her ear.
"What?"
Not wanting to feel like she was imposing on, whatever was happening, she stepped backwards, and then turned on heel and clicked away. Her footsteps seeming too loud for the situation. She didn't even know what the situation was, though all that served was to deepen her concern. A sigh brushed past lipstick painted lips as she walked into class. A sudden wave of confusion passing over her, was she worried about Jade West.
"Ah Tori... so nice of you to join us."
He rocked on bare feet and smiled widely at her.
"Yeah.. um I was talking to Jade. She's going to be a few minutes late."
Her friends all turned to her with a confused expression. Everything seemed fine right before they had left for class, what had changed in the 5 minutes it took Tori to get to class?
Out in the hall still, Jade found herself rolling her eyes at her father on the other end of the phone. There was no way he was serious.
"So you want me to pretend like we have a relationship that doesn't consist of you and I seeing each other once every few months? Like we're this happy little family because you're latest bimbo seems to like family dynamics?"
He couldn't be serious. Still she bit her tongue has he chastised her for talking to him like that. She wouldn't apologize.
"Dad! This is ridiculous – wait, what?"
Her voice reverberated off of the walls and lockers around her, sounding harsh in the empty space!
"No, I am not going to go to dinner just because she's bringing her kid."
He started again and out of some obligation she despised, she listened.
"We can talk about this later, I'm late for class."
She slammed the phone shut and let out a frustrated sigh, running a tight grip through her long hair. What in the hell was he thinking? Jade was not the type to answer to a request like that! Sure she was not exactly proud of her family dynamic, but she never lied about it, never gave people the opportunity
to find it out and use it against her some how. Okay, so maybe she was a little paranoid, but she was not a liar. Come to think of it, her father wasn't either, so what was the difference with this one?
Giving up on trying to figure it out she started towards Sikowitz class room, not that she was anywhere near a mood to deal with the man or hos weird antics, but he already knew she was here. Might as well just get this damn day over with.
When she reached the door, after slow deliberate steps, she caught the site of Tori through the window. She still wore the same look of concern as she had in the hall not too long ago. God, Vega! She thought. We're supposed to be enemies, frenemies? Her mind stilled over the word supposed to, and she pushed the confusion away for now. They were not supposed to be concerned about one another. That was Tori though, she did care, even when she had no reason to.
Pushing the door open with a little more force than needed she strolled into the room, one seat left, of course it would beside the girl that her mind has just met a front of confusion with.
One look to the man at the front, complete with the expected naked feet and coconut in hand, and he knew not to say anything. With a nod his hands clasped together and he started where he's left off.
"So, the point of this is to -"
And she tuned him out.
Dropping into the chair next to Tori's she never looked to the sides, simply stared at the front feigning interest in whatever in the world he was going on about this time. She could feel curious eyes on her, and not just from Tori, but from a few people om the room.
A glance to Beck and she shrugged, he took this as a sign that it was nothing dire, and refocused on th lesson. She had to make sure that he was certain it was no big deal, if he asked she would tell. He was Beck, and despite the mutual break up, he was her best friend. She couldn't break about this. It was nothing after all, whoever the woman was would be gone from her fathers life in no time. They always were.
With the lesson half over she decided that she would at least try to focus on what the weird man was saying. She'd checked back into the class just before he called on Andre and Cat to jump on stage and act something out. Actually liking when there were people in front of her acting she perked up a little. Lowering her fingers from her lips, where she had been unconsciously playing with them, both arms fell into a comfortable cross over her stomach.
Tori was still watching her, curious about what had happened and why she'd been losing herself in staring at the wall behind their teacher, but cautious enough not to ask. Maybe she should just ask? What was the worse Jade could do, say no and snap at her. She'd learned to have a tough skin around Jade from the day, she could handle this.
Normally seeing Cat parade around the small stage acting like a hippie would have caused a huge smile to break out over her lips, but not today. She hated her father for asking her this. Like she would pretend she actually stayed in his guest room every weekend, or that they went out every time she was there to have father daughter bonding, she wanted to scream at him. Maybe, a voice tapped away at the edge of her mind, maybe it's because you really do want that stuff to happen.
Jade's deep green eyes slid shut, as if putting all her energy into forcing that stupid voice away. She didn't need him, she hadn't for the past 8 years, and she wouldn't need him now. He was the one missing out on her, not the other way around.
Her skin rippled and she jolted slightly at someone's touch, eyes snapping like an emerald blade, she cut into Tori's vision, unaware of the confused look on her face. Eyes fell to the hand that was still on her arm, brows knitting together in confusion.
"Yes?"
She watched as Tori's eyes for a moment, a challenge lacing her own. Beck had once called her a Pit bull, ready to take on everything, but in moments like this when all that swam the reaches of her mind was confusion, she was more like a small dog. More to prove, so she braked and growled. The thing was when it came to it, she might break. Hide away in on herself.
Snapping back to the situation at hand she pulled her arm from the touch, Tori's hand falling away. She didn't know how long they stared at one another, but when Tori's bottom lip sucked in and she saw a scrape of teeth against the delicate skin, she sighed looking away.
"I'm just worried... are you okay."
Her tone faltered and her eyes fell away from Jade's. Like she was scared, A reason, beyond her understanding, pushed a faint smile across her lips.
"I'm fine. Vega."
The same biting tone Tori had come accustomed to met her ears and she ignored it for once. She'd never taken the time to watch Jade's eyes as she spoke, but now she was, and she knew she was lying. Is this what Beck had seen when he looked at her, something further than the mean edge of the dark haired girl, more than what she put on as a facade day in and day out.
"Okay... you know - " She paused, knowing this might get thrown back in her face, "you know that I am here if you're not though. If you need."
More confirmed of what she was offering, not that she could tell anyone that asked why, Tori smiled and turned back to the front of the room. Leaving Jade to think about what she'd said instead of out rightly telling her that she didn't need help from someone like her.
Blinking back her surprise Jade's arms crossed over themselves tighter and she slid a little further into her seat. Jesus, Vega! She thought dully, is there any way you could be any more perfect? Wait... did she really just think that. Her eyes snaked across the distance between them, and if anyone asked, she would lie about tracing the outline of her jaw, and neck.
"Okay, we got a little side tracked, I'll tell you the lesson tomorrow!"
Her attention was brought back to the front of the room, could this day be over already. The bell chimed and she groaned. One down, too many more to go.
Pushing out of the room as quickly as she could she headed straight for her locker. Another touch had her jolting, and again she was met with Tori beside her. What was her problem this morning? Throwing the books she no longer needed into her locker she slammed it.
"What is it this time?"
She'd meant a harsher tone, something threatening, but all that she managed was a mild annoyance. Lovely.
"I meant what I said Jade, I'm here okay?"
The sincerity on her tone had Jade speechless for a long time. The stood there, staring at one another, both unsure of what should be said next when Jade didn't retort with something mean or cold. Unaware of Cat watching them from a few feet away.
"Okay."
Tori was a little shocked at the acceptance, she was not used to Jade acting like this. Herself, or what she played to be one minutes, and this girl standing in front of her, face devoid of emotion, but eyes screaming something that could not be read.
A cold wind tore through the thin sweater Jade had grabbed in a hurry leaving her house, she couldn't stay there any longer. Not with her parents both bearing down at her, one to tell a little 'white lie' and the other saying nothing. Like it was okay she was being asked to do this, like she agreed, when Jade knew damn well that she hated it, what he was asking, as much as she herself did.
This is why she opted to be home as little as possible, her mother was far from what she had been.
Hugging herself against the unusual cold that had dropped over the city she was happy to see the Starbucks she's decided, 15 minutes into her walk, that she would go to. Sit there and wait him out. He could only stand to be around his ex wife for so long, so his threat to wait until she got home would fall through.
She picked this one because it was out of the way, and if the ass decided to come looking he wouldn't be able to find her. Not like he's want a scene in public, which she would gladly offer if it would get him away, any way.
Not long after, she was hugging a steaming latte with both hands, staring down at her phone on the table. Beck's number and face starring back at her, like it had been for the past ten minutes. Sighing she traded the latte with her phone and slammed down on the back button. He would know how to help, the right things to say to make her feel a little more at ease, but she needed to not rely on him. 2 years of habits were hard to break.
Her fingers slid the contact names to the T's, and before she could talk herself out of it, she was pressing call and raising a shaky hand to her ear. One ring, three heart beats, another and the beats picked up. By the time she answered on the fifth ring, Jade was nearly read to hand up. Anxiety over whelming her.
"Jade?"
Her voice was soft on the end of the line, the overwhelmed girl already knew the look of concern lacing her delicate features. Brows tilted slightly onto one another, lips hanging apart in a small slit, and a hand resting against her neck. Had she really noticed such details about the other girl so much she could recall them so easily?
"Are you there Jade?"
"uh, yeah. Sorry."
Another pause, did she really want to do this? Could she even tell Tori about what was going on if she did ask her to come. To save her from her own thoughts. She needed a distraction, something new, that would not remind her of how things were with Beck. Calling him would have lead to just that.
"This is me taking you up on what you said earlier, Vega."
Something inside her was speaking through her uncertainty.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes... no. It will be. Can you meet me if you're not busy?"
"Just tell me where you are."
There was no hesitation where there should have been, nothing. Awful was a nice way to put what Jade had done to her through, yet here she was, agreeing without a question to come meet her in the chance that she might not be okay. People really took for granted how amazing Tori really was. Those words again. She was thinking far too highly of Tori this past day for her liking. Had she always thought this way, besides their initial interactions?
"Starbucks two blocks from your house."
"Isn't there one closer to your house, why did you go so far?"
"I'll tell you when you get here Vega."
Tori stared at her phone, now with a black screen since the call had ended. She had never expected jade to actually seek her out because she wasn't okay. This proved that she wasn't though, what had that phone call been about, and what had happened between this morning and now to make Jade call her. Decided that staring at her phone, like it would tell her, was not the best way to get her curiosities taken care of.
Slipping from the bed she walked out of her room, it took her until she was half way down the stairs to realize that pyjama shorts and a tank were not suitable attire to be meeting Jade in, not that she was aware of what would be the proper attire She ran back to her room and slipped into a simple white v-neck tee, a pair of skinny jeans, and a pair of boots. Heading out the door a passing thought about the temperature outside and the need for a sweater was dismissed when she remembered Jade was not the most patient of women.
A bell would ring, and a cold wind would blow in from outside ever time the door to the coffee shop opened and each time her eyes drew away from the cup in her hands to whoever was walking in. Customer after customer came in from the cold, probably seeking the warmth of a coffee to warm them up, some just going about their daily routine, and as she looked around she saw some were on dates. What was she doing here, running away? The bell sounded again, the door creaked open and this time when she looked up it was Tori that met her eyes. A weary smile on her face, who could blame her right?
Tori took in the sight before her, Jade looked defeated, that was the best way to describe it. Her posture was far from the solid way she carried herself, as she slumped back against the chair, cradling a coffee cup in her hands. There was no stoney facade, she was raw. Tori didn't know how to approach this.
Walking over she offered a small wave before lowering herself into the chair, taking notice of the unopened cup sitting on her side of the table. Jade had got her something?
"Hi, Jade. Is this for me?"
A small smirk crossed the other girl's lips and that made Tori feel a little more at ease. She could deal with a cocky brass Jade West, that was what she was used to. Not the one that she'd walked in here to see.
"No, Vega... I was so upset I decided to invite two people to watch my misery play out."
Almost immediately her face dropped as if the biting edge to her voice had done more harm to her than it ever could Tori. She quickly diverted emerald eyes back to the cup in her hands before looking up again.
"Uh.. sorry."
Apologizing was not something that she'd let herself become used to doing, most people never deserved it, but Tori Vega was far from most people. Despite the hell that Jade gave her, she would never take away that fact that the girl sitting across from her had a big heart and would do for others most wouldn't think about. She knew that Tori was not here for herself she was her because she had saw that Jade might need help.
Jade was afraid that she was far beyond that help. She was willing to try.
"It's okay Jade... Can you tell me why I am here?"
Jade was not sure what she could tell her now that she was sitting there, an idea of telling someone the things that bothered you, the ones that could eat a hole into your core and burrow themselves there, the idea was nice until they were seated in front of you. Jade started down the thought of telling Tori, of tearing herself open because that was just what she needed right then.
"Can we just sit here, talk maybe... Hell I will talk about Robbie so long as it means I am not alone and not at my house. I – I just needed someone with me."
Tori smiled and nodded, curiosity peaked at the mention of her home life, but for right now she'd play her part and help with what she could. Questions could come later.
"Sure, that would be nice. Though I would rather not talk about Robbie."
A smile greeted Jade's lips and that assured Tori that she could do this, be here for her, she needed someone and she was that someone. It was hard, almost staggering to see Jade in such a different way. Brush away the fact that she was upset and the youngest Vega could have been very happy to be sitting across from her ready to have a normal conversation. Were there such things with Jade? She wanted to find out.
A/N: So this is the end of Chapter One. I think it's pretty clear where all this is headed, though there will be bumps in the road, stones to step over, and set backs along the way. But isn't that life?
Please tell me what you think, thoughts on what you would like to see, and throw me curve balls if you would like. You know the ritual kiddies, Read & Review :)