I found him sitting there like always. He didn't notice me come in. He never does. I often wonder what's running through his mind as he sits there staring out of the window, hours and hours on end.

When I ask him what he's doing, he says he's reading, probably because there is a book open on his lap. I've never seen him actually read it, and I'm pretty sure it's been the same book on the same page for months. I don't press him about it because

1. Technically there is a book open on his lap and

2. I sort of think that he actually believes he's reading

I've taken him to countless doctors, infinite number of physiatrists; they all say the same thing. If I wanted an answer as easy as depression, I would have asked my little nephew.

I know he's depressed. That's the most obvious thing in the world.

I want someone to tell me why he's depressed.

All of their answers are the same, "It doesn't necessarily have to be any particular event, he could just be mentally ill."

Just mentally ill my ass.

Sometimes, the ones that know him better will say it's probably due to his traumatic loss of his parents.

Maybe.

Medications help a little bit. Enough to get him to eat, bathe, and leave his chair by the window every once and awhile. But even so, his once extremely toned body had shed its muscles and really any fat, and now he is just a wisp of what he once was. I had always wondered why he was so fit when we met. He can bench 3x his weight.

Oh… I mean he could bench 3x his weight.

Anyways, I don't think it's because of his parents that he is like this. He hasn't always been like this, and if this were a constant struggle in his life I would have known about it.

I had always known that he was hiding something from me. But early on, I had come to the conclusion that I would let him tell me when he's ready. So we went on, and I fell in love. So in love in fact, that when he asked me to marry him, I disregarded my lack of knowledge and eagerly accepted.

I still love him. Even though he hasn't said more than 50 words to me in the last 4 months.

I haven't even seen him smile.

I think it's been half a year.

No smiling. No talking. He just sits there with that stupid book gazing out of the window, his beautiful blue eyes fixed into a glassy stare.

I really do wonder what he's thinking about.

At first I did think it was his parents death. But once I reflected on it, I could hardly believe the news of a childhood death would hit you at the age of 31.

Then I thought, "He must be 'just mentally ill.'"

And then I thought, as previously stated before, "Just mentally ill my ass."

At that point it was when I realized how little I knew about him.

I made a list of all the things I knew.

1. His full name is Richard John Grayson, Dick for short.

2. He has eyes as blue as the sky and a mess of jet-black hair.

3. He is an only child.

4. He was an acrobat in the circus with his parents before they died (this is where I first thought he got his build from).

5. Their act was called "The Flying Graysons" in The Greatest Show on Earth.

note: I had actually seen him perform when I was a little girl; he was amazing. We bonded over that.

6. A mob leader killed his parents when the leader weakened the ropes in their act.

7. Multi-billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne adopted him when he was 8 years old after witnessing Dick's parents' death.

8. He was also that of a playboy, a heartthrob but only having 2 serious girlfriends. Myself, and a girl by the name of Kori.

9. He attended Gotham Academy High School and finished in 3 years at the age of 17. He is exceptionally smart. Great with computers.

10. At the age of 17 he left Wayne Manor due to "political differences" as he told me.

Then after that… nothing. Poof. I know nothing after that. I know that he was in Jump until he was about 21 and then came back to Gotham and did whatever until he was 26. I met him when he was 26. We have been married for 3 years.

The first year of our marriage was happy. Again, I could tell he was hiding something from me, but, again, I never asked.

After our first anniversary, a couple of months after, he started to shut me out. I couldn't make him laugh; he wouldn't go out with me; I couldn't even hold a conversation. I tried to help him. It broke my heart to see him deteriorate so quickly.

I love him so much.

That went on for about a year. It got worse. A few months ago, he started to do what he's doing now. Just sitting.

Our third anniversary was last week. Probably the worst day of my life.

I went over to his chair and sat down across from him.

I took his hand and said, "Dick, happy anniversary. I love you."

After a long couple of seconds, he finally looked at me and just said with that damn blank expression he has, "Happy anniversary, Alice."

Closest thing to an 'I love you' in about a year and a half.

We didn't go out to dinner. No kisses or hugs or wine. The watch I was supposed to give him sits in my sock drawer.

After contemplating for weeks after he started to go downhill, I came to the conclusion that his problem originates from number 8. Kori. What I have not mentioned is that Kori was Dick's girlfriend during the time in which I do not know anything about Dick.

Some of you may say, "Well it could have been anything during that time. A lot could happen in nine years."

Well yes true, initially I considered this, but have you ever done something or heard something you weren't supposed to tell or talk to anybody about? But you have this urge to share with somebody and have them know and be interested in this secret? I think Kori is his secret. Given that she is the only person, or object for that matter, that Dick has told me about that came from that time period, I think this girl was extremely important. Like he had to tell someone about her, even though it might give away what he was doing during his mysterious 9 years. The way he talked about her to me, I was sure was more passionate than the way he talked about me to his friends. He loved her all right.

I think he loved her as much as I love him.

My fear that he still loves her more than he loves me is becoming more of a reality. And is it just by coincidence that his depression arises during the early stages of marriage?

So that is what I decided on. His antidote to the poison of eternal sadness would be Kori. Problem is I don't know who Kori is. I only know what Dick has told me. So what do I know about this Kori? Can you guess what I did? I made a list. I'm that type of person.

1. Her name is spelled K-O-R-I.

2. She has emerald eyes that "sparkle like grass fresh with dew" in the words of Dick.

3. Flaming red hair.

4. Tan skin to the point that it's almost orange.

5. Tall, and her English isn't perfect. She must be foreign.

6. Beautiful.

7. Extremely strong. (I thought he meant mentally, maybe something traumatic happened?)

8. Always cheerful and bubbly.

So that's what I had to work with. Once his depression got to the point of him staring out the window I started to make some phone calls. It took months.

Months of looking through the phone book, searching on every social media site, having thousands of Koris tell me that they are not the one I am looking for. I searched for her all over the world and nothing.

It then occurred to me to think of this search as a case to find out his true identity. To find out just what happened in those 9 years. What could it be he is hiding? So I started to search celebrity databases. Anyone whose real name was Kori. Anyone who fit the description. Still nothing.

Who else could it be? I started to get desperate. I started searching through hero files. Like superheroes. I didn't expect to find anything there. And at first I didn't. No superheroes his age by the name of Kori.

But… what percentage of superheroes use their real name? 0%. So I went back and dug a little deeper. And the girl who fit his description perfectly, the girl whose real name is Koriand'r of Tamaran. Kori for short. She never completely mastered English. Extremely strong (both mentally and physically), can shoot beams from her eyes and hands, can fly, gorgeous beyond belief, emerald eyes, hair the color of fire, skin like an orange, and known for her friendliness.

Kori is none other than the alien powerhouse, Starfire, of the Teen Titans in Jump City. Starfire who had a relationship with Robin.

Robin is Dick Grayson.

I can't believe I didn't see it before! Robin left Batman in Gotham at the age of 17. Batman, by transitive property, being Bruce Wayne. He started up the Teen Titans and 4 years later moved back to Gotham and became Nightwing for 5 years. Nightwing dropped off the face of the earth the same time Dick Grayson came back into the press' spotlight.

Nightwing, who had a mess of jet-black hair.

I remember when Robin and Starfire broke up. They were the most talked about couple in all of America. Nobody knew for sure why they broke up or how bad it was, but after that Dick, I mean Robin, left for Gotham and donned Nightwing's costume.

And after months of fruitless searching, I finally found Kori and Dick's big secret. And boy was it big.

I decided to call Kori. And once I had gotten everything in place, I only needed Dick. So, today is the day I arranged for Kori to be at the coffee shop a block away from our house. An easy walk. The hard part is that I have to convince Dick to go with me.

He still hasn't noticed me. Even though I've been leaning against the doorway for a good 10 minutes watching him. I walk over to him quietly. The house is silent and it's a sunny day.

I sit down across from him, and he still doesn't acknowledge my presence.

"Dick?" I say softly.

He doesn't reply.

"Dick, why don't we go outside for a bit. Take a walk to the coffee shop. How does that sound?"

No reply. He just sighs as he gazes out of that fucking window.

I have to get him to go with me. This is the last chance to save him from his hole. My ultimate fear is that he'll die of sadness. And then I'll die of sadness. I can't take it anymore. I'd rather him be anywhere else. Anywhere else than here.

Plus, it must be lonely inside of his head.

I take his hand, I've started to cry and my voice is breaking as I speak, "Dick please."

This surprises him a little. He turns to look at me.

His brow furrows a little bit and he says, "Okay Alice, just for a little."

Dick has always been the type of guy to try and comfort you if you're hurting. I find it ironic.

I smile, but he doesn't smile back. He just gets up slowly and walks to the door where his shoes are. Once he slips them on, he looks at me and waits patiently for me to join him.

The walk there is silent. Not awkward though. God help me if a silence with my own husband is awkward. It's just sad, really.

But we turn the corner of the coffee shop, and I spot her first. She looks older than her pictures as a Titan of course, but she is just as beautiful. She is playing with her phone, texting or something, and hasn't noticed us.

Then Dick spotted her. And he stopped faster than a train hitting the side of a mountain. At first, I think he couldn't believe it. He stared for a long time.

He turned to me abruptly and said, "Can we go home now?"

"No, Dick we can't," I said as I looked him straight in his beautiful blues, "You have to talk to her."

A look of pure confusion crossed his face.

"I couldn't take it anymore Dick. All those doctors, all those pills, no results, it was killing me as bad as it was killing you. So I found her for you. I had always wondered what you were keeping from me," I said quietly.

"When did you find out?" He whispered.

"A few weeks ago. It took months. It's time you go over there, Dick." I said, my eyes tearing up.

"Alice."

"Go. I'll be okay. Please, take care."

"I know why I married you. Thank you, Alice."

I gave him a somber but encouraging smile.

He took my hand and wiped away the tear that was making its way down my face. He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and when he pulled away, I saw that his eyes weren't nearly as hopeless as they were before.

He turned and walked towards the table she was sitting at.

I won't lie to you and say I didn't watch them. I saw him walk up to the table. I saw her look up and gasp a little. I saw them look at each other and I saw them hug for a long time. And you'll never guess what else I saw; I saw him smile.

It gave me peace of mind and broke my heart all at the same time.

They say that if you love something you should let it go. They never told me how much it would hurt.

I still have the engraved watch hidden underneath my socks. It reads "To my Richard, All of my Love, Alice".

But I guess he isn't really mine anymore.