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Hear What the Silence Screams
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Ever since the whole thing with Slade Wilson, it's become slightly awkward for Felicity to make eye contact with Oliver. It mightn't have, had that moment on the island where he played the words off as some well scripted line not happened; his little "We both did."
She can't help but be of two minds about it—hello, Oliver Queen told her I love you!—in that there had to be some nugget of truth hidden in those three little innocuous words, for the Oliver she can remember meeting was a terrible liar. And yet, it seems too much to believe; she's just Felicity Smoak, the babbling I.T. girl, and he could literally have anyone he chose to be with. It leaves her head spinning and unable to decide what theory to stick to.
But inside that one single moment, in the dark foyer of the Queen mansion, the complete focus of his intense blue eyes, the soft roughness to those three words, spoken with just the right amount of emotion in both voice and stare. So burned into her mind, that Felicity can even remember her breathing become unsteady and the shudder that ran through her when Oliver passes the cure into her hand. Right there it had honestly felt like nothing but him speaking the truth.
It's not so unbelievable; Oliver has the tendency to drag her back when she's starting to pull out of his orbit. These feelings have become too much sometimes. If it isn't Laurel, it's a one-night stand with Isabel, then some relationship with Sara. To be truthful, it isn't the relationships themselves that irritate Felicity—more how he claims unable to be with someone he cares about and that's all great for Isabel, but she really does hope Oliver isn't so thick that he can't tell that Sara Lance is a girl he cares for.
And that is what leads Felicity to wonder, does an honest 'I love you' from this amazing man even matter if it seems pointless. Often times she thinks about trying to look for something in other men, like Barry Allen, because real feelings or no, her vigilante doesn't seem to be about to openly admit to them anytime soon.
Felicity will stay with this team of misfits, of course she'll stay. How could she leave John Diggle the man who's become the big brother she'd always wanted? Or the surprise of finding Roy Harper a good man and friend. And then maybe she and Oliver can create some type of boundaries to never be crossed to alleviate this kind of confusion to her poor overworked brain.
It's nice to dream—but Felicity knows it'll never happen, as she's told herself all this quite a few times, and nothings come of it. Yet the saddest part? Felicity's not sure if she means him having feelings for her, or talk about boundaries and moving on.
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[Fin.]