I figured I owed you guys a little one-shot. Hopefully you like it. Also, introducing Alphonse and Mei's daughter, Mao!

"Brother…" Alphonse trailed off as he sat on Ed's sofa. Alphonse's physical appearance had depleted in the past three months. He had bags under his eyes, had lost weight, wasn't as hygienically active as he had been in the past, and needed a shower.

"Yeah, Al?" Ed asked.

Alphonse and Mei were visiting Ed and Winry in Central so that Ed and Winry could get to see their niece for the first time. Three-month-old Mao took after her mother in appearance with black hair and onyx eyes. The new parents had refused to come out for so long because of the long travel across the desert – something they knew their little daughter wasn't ready for. After three months, they had finally decided it was time, and made the trek. It hadn't been easy, but they had been able to do it.

So, Alphonse was sitting on Ed's sofa, looking exhausted, with three-month old Mao sitting on his lap, watching everything with curiosity only a baby could handle. Mei and Winry were in the other room, probably talking about girl stuff that Ed and Al weren't interested in – while Ed and Al sat in the living room to catch up.

"What was Winry like after you guys had Ethan and Anthony?" Alphonse asked. Mei had been…well, she had been irritable after the birth of Mao. Well actually, she had been irritable throughout the ending of her pregnancy, and the feelings stayed after Mao had been born. Alphonse was hoping Edward would have some advice for how to perk Mei up, with Ed having had five children now.

"She was a bitch," Ed spoke with no hesitation. Alphonse jumped a bit, seeing that four of his five nieces and nephews were running around the Elric home, paying absolutely no mind to their father cursing. Al wondered if they heard it all the time with Ed and Winry being their parents.

"What?" Al asked. He honestly wasn't sure he had heard it right. After all, the kids didn't have a reaction to it. Maybe he had imagined it.

"Al, she was a complete bitch," Ed repeated. "I'm not joking. She was moody about not losing the baby weight so easily, and she wouldn't take a damn shower to save her life. I'm not joking; she was rank."

"Are you sure you should be saying these things about your wife?"

"And if she got baby spit-up on her, she wouldn't even clean it off!" Ed exclaimed. "She would just wear spit-up on her shirt until the next time she had to change her shirt. Which was either when granny got her to take a shower or when she leaked through her shirt."

"Brother, I think I got it."

"There were days that I had to take Ethan and Anthony off her back just to get some peace," Ed added. "Me getting peace by taking the babies."

"This is going into territory that could have you sleeping on the couch for a month."

"Let me just say, you're lucky you've only got the one," Ed commented. "I mean, when it's two, it's a whole of a lot worse."

"What about when it's five?"

"Ed," Winry interjected as she walked into the room with little Kaylee on her hip, Mei trailing behind her. "You and Al got the kids for a while. Mei and I are going out." Without another word, Winry plopped their youngest daughter onto Ed's lap and walked away with Mei.

"Your girl's in good hands," Ed spoke. "I'm not the person you should have gone to for advice – Winry is."