Disclaimer: I do not own Xmen Evolution just the words below.
Can't Cook, Don't Cook
Kurt Wagner was known for many things in the institute; a prankster, a teleporter, a blue chimp to Hank McCoy's blue gorilla and one of his personal favourites a walking black hole due to any type of food near his person he will eat, sometimes without pausing to chew. He even freaked some of the residents by eating on the ceiling.
However Kurt had discovered a food type that not even his iron stomach could handle. A type so fearsome that just thinking about it made his stomach do the acrobatic stunts he sometimes does in a private danger room session. Muffins, or to be more specific muffins made by Kitty Pride his best friend that he has had a crush on since they first met.
The girl had just done her first cooking class at school and had sought out the 'fuzzy elf' as she sometimes called him to get his expert opinion on her finished product. Given that he likes her, could not back down after being praised like that and never turns down an offer of free food Kurt agreed to sample one of her muffins.
He barely started chewing it when he realised his Katzchen could not cook. The muffin tasted dry and rubber-like and when he tried to swallow it took several seconds before it past his wind pipe allowing him to breath, during which he had dropped the muffin and ran to the nearest drinking fountain vaguely noting that the muffin he dropped was bouncing off the floor.
By evening his stomach was still trying to digest it when Kitty found him again to try out an improved batch of muffins. He was saved by the Professor asking him to round up the team which he did so immediately, according to Scott the muffin he dropped before teleporting had actually left a hole in the floor.
Now, in the early hours of the morning, Kitty was making another batch of muffins to cheer them up after their defeat at the hands of the Brotherhood as a surprise. Kurt only discovered this because his stomach had finally recovered from yesterday and was feeling rather hungry. So now Kurt was hiding in the entryway to the kitchen trying to psych himself up for doing something he knew he would not get out alive; telling Kitty she cannot cook.
Okay Wagner he thought to himself. You can do this. You love her and because of that you must risk death if you vant her to know the truth. At least my death has a beautiful appearance. Taking a deep breath he moved out the shadows and into the kitchen. Auf wiedersehen mein freunds.
Perfect! Kitty thought as she removed the batch of muffins from the oven. Not even 'fuzzy elf' will be able to resist this batch. She was hoping that by getting Kurt to like her cooking he might ask her to cook more often; however the way he rejected her first two attempts she was not feeling very positive about it.
"Kitty?" said a voice from behind her. Turning round she saw the very person she was looking for, she did not notice the serious look on his face.
Speak of the devil she thought mentally giggling at the literal meaning to the phrase. "Kurt! Perfect timing I've just-"
"Kitty" Kurt interrupted "Ever since yesterday I've been trying to tell something but I'm not good at breaking this to you gently so I'll just say it quickly"
He paused for a moment, trying to pluck up all the courage he had yet at the same time remember all the good times he and Kitty had had. Kitty on the other hand was curious as to what he was trying to tell her. A part of her was hoping that he was going to tell her he loved her but the other part was doubtful after the way she treated him when they first met.
"You can't cook"
That one sentence popped her thoughts so suddenly that she almost did not believe him. The look on his face told otherwise.
"I'm sorry Kitty but you can't cook to save your life"
She just nodded apparently accepting defeat gracefully. Knowing that she was upset Kurt moved past her to make her some hot chocolate she could drink whilst he explained more thoroughly why she cannot cook. He did not make it to the counter before he was knocked out by a muffin Kitty had thrown at him striking the back of his head.
A/N: In the episode 'The Hex-Factor' how many mistakes did Mystique make posing as the Professor could the others have picked up on? Any curious readers can answer with their review