Disclaimer: I do not own Disgaea 3 or any of its characters.
Chapter Title; Blinky the Ghost
It was a manic day inside the Evil Academy cafeteria. As expected, numerous and various monsters were all sitting with their mates (or girlfriends), and tucking into whatever food was being served up; in today's case, chips, baked beans and frog heads. However, one poor ghost named Blinky didn't have any mates (or girlfriends), so he sat all by himself, looking all lonesome and depressed. Then again, it was difficult to tell if Blinky was capable of any kind of emotion, because he didn't have a mouth, and his eyes just resembled two tiny black dots.
Meanwhile, a warrior named Wallace decided to join Blinky's table, just because all of the other tables were full, if anything else. Wallace didn't have any friends either, but he didn't mind; he was sort of a loner, and he preferred being a loner, because he thought being a loner was cool.
"Mind if I join you?" asked Wallace, as he laid out his plate of chips, baked beans and frog heads.
"Sure," said Blinky, who continued staring into space.
Wallace silently munched on his dinner for a moment, before realising that Blinky's plate happened to be empty.
"You finished your food already?" he asked.
"I didn't have any food to begin with," was Blinky's monotone-like response, "plus... I'm a ghost; ghosts are incapable of eating food."
Wallace couldn't help but frown. "So... why are you just sitting there with an empty plate?"
Blinky shrugged. "Sometimes I wonder about that myself."
"Must suck being a ghost, not being able to eat." Wallace said.
To which Blinky replied with, "Yeah, it is kind of lame being a ghost... ...most of the time."
"Hmm? What do you mean 'most of the time?'" Wallace asked.
"Well... being a ghost does have a few advantages..."
"What kind of advantages?"
Blinky began listing a few examples.
"For starters, I don't have to worry about dying."
"Well yeah, that's kind of obvious." Wallace interrupted.
"Secondly, I don't have to worry about going to the toilet."
Wallace shrugged. "I guess that's kind of useful."
"And lastly..."
Blinky paused for a moment.
"...I can walk through walls."
"What's so cool about walking through walls?" Wallace queried.
Blinky paused for another moment.
"Succubi locker rooms," he answered.
After hearing such words, Wallace's eyes had widened considerably. "Succubi locker rooms?"
"Succubi locker rooms," Blinky repeated.
"Succubi... locker rooms," Wallace said slowly.
"Succubi locker rooms," Blinky said again.
There was a pause of silence, and Wallace took this opportunity to eat some more of his dinner.
"I better be leaving now," said Blinky all of a sudden.
Wallace finished chewing a frog head before speaking. "Succubi locker rooms?"
Blinky nodded, before leaving the cafeteria. "Succubi locker rooms."
Wallace picked up another frog head with his fork before sampling it.
"Succubi locker rooms," he said quietly to himself.
Some time later, Wallace had finally finished eating his meal; he continued looking at his empty plate.
...
...
"I wish I was a ghost."