Author's Note:
I was thinking about Criminal Minds while listening to a Simple Plan CD and the idea for this came about. Based off their song 'Untitled.' Like the song, I failed to come up with an appropriate title. I've never done a songfic before so I hope it turns out okay! From Prentiss' POV.
It'd been two years since Emily Prentiss had faked her death a second time. She was no longer in Paris. In fact she moved about every six months. She'd just settled in a small town in Switzerland. She might have enjoyed the beauty around her, if she wasn't constantly looking over her shoulder. She was at a coffee shop, when a song came on. The words weren't in English, but she recognized the tune. It'd been a popular song in the States about seven years ago. The words to the song came back to her, the past swirling with it.
Simple Plan – Untitled
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain
Prentiss had thought she was over this. But listening to the song was like opening the door to the past. How she had walked away from her family at the BAU and the pain it caused her, knowing that they grieved for her death. But that bastard Doyle was still out there, so she couldn't go back until he was dead.
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
God, how she was tired of this life. Tired of being afraid, not just for herself, but for those she cared about. It's why she had disappeared, to keep them safe. She kept tabs on them all, through her mother's connections. Once a month she would call her mother from a disposable phone she'd just bought and then throw it away after one use.
Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't
Life would be so much easier, if she could just rewind the clock and kill Doyle. At least she would have been able to stay on the team, or at the very least not have had to fake her death and cause them a grief she couldn't imagine. She hated herself for it. She knew they were probably mad at her for all the lies and deceit, but they had been a necessary evil but that didn't mean she felt good about doing it. She had worked so hard to prove herself to them, that she belonged and now it felt like it was all for nothing.
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got nowhere to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
One day, she was going to make things right again. But for that to happen, Doyle needed to die. Prentiss vowed to find him and kill him. She missed her family. If ever she was able to go back, she hoped they would understand her betrayal she felt.