Switched Glitch
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"Aw man!"
Things couldn't get worse for Timmy Turner. He had just been called into the principal office today, just when school was nearly about to end, and when he arrived he expected to see Mr. Crocker and a very annoyed Principal Waxelplax standing their while Crocker made some half hearted attempt to expose his fairies in front of the school administrator. Instead, however, when Timmy arrived he saw the two people he expected to see, but they had a different agenda. The principal behind her desk, Mr. Crocker sitting in a chair across the room, and a slightly out of place looking cardboard box next to an empty chair were what awaited Timmy. Cautiously, he took a seat.
"Timmy Turner, though you have been a very well behaved student as of late, Mr. Crocker tells me your grades are slipping." Principal Waxelplax said to him, pronouncing Mr. Crocker's name with a slight tone of annoyance.
"Slipping!?" Timmy protested, "How so? They haven't slipped lower than an F all year!"
"Not true!" Mr. Crocker yelled and pulled a stamp from out of his pocket, "F MINUS!" he stamped it hard on Timmy's forehead while Principal Waxelplax stood by idly apathetic to the student child abuse going on right on front of her. Timmy rubbed the F- mark of his forehead and glared angrily at Mr. Crocker who had broken out laughing.
"Timmy, I'm not going to sugar coat it," Principal Waxelplax said, frowning and sincere, "You're going to get held back."
"WHAT!?" Timmy screamed, "NO! YOU CAN'T HOLD ME BACK!" his eyes frantically darted around the room, looking for an exit, but the door had been locked behind him and all the windows were closed, and maybe it was just him but that cardboard box was creeping closer to him every time he glanced at it. His principal and most hated teacher just gave Timmy a stone cold stare. They were serious.
"Please," Timmy pleaded, "Francis is already getting held back this year! He always does! He'll be in my grade again! My friends, my dream girl, all of them will go onto the next grade without me!"
Neither his principal nor teacher would budge, Timmy felt like a cornered animal. This could not be happening, Chester, AJ, Trixie, heck even his back up friends Elmer and Sanjay, would be in a bigger grade than him. His worst schoolyard bully would still be in his class to torture him. He would be the laughing stock of Dimmsdale Elementary School if he weren't that enough already. It was all Crocker's doing… he knew that if he didn't get Timmy's fairies now before the school year ended, he could lose his chance forever. Not only that, but Timmy was sure that cardboard box just moved again.
"I'm begging you!" Timmy fell to his knees and groveled before his principal, tears welling in his eyes, "I don't have any friends in the grade below me…"
"YES YOU DO!"
Timmy nearly had a heart attack as Tootie burst out of the cardboard box, wearing a black headband and spy suit reminiscent of a certain elongate legless carnivorous reptile in a state of matter resistant of deformation and changes of volume. His first reaction to seeing his dreaded admirer was to wipe his tears away quickly, he couldn't be seen crying by one of his peers. Then it was to wince in horror was he was immediately grabbed and smooched a dozen times.
"Oh Timmy! Just think… You and me, going on field trips, learning fractions, and study groups… TOGETHER!" Tootie squeezed Timmy so tightly his face started to turn blue and his eyes started popping out like someone who had been exposed to the vacuum of space.
"Arrgh… Tootie… what are you… doing here… anyways?" Timmy gasped the words out, trying not to lose consciousness and bang his head on the desk in front of him. Actually, a trip to the hospital might not be a bad idea right now. He just wanted out. Tootie was too busy savoring her moment with Timmy to answer him anyways.
Mr. Crocker, who was laughing like a maniac as this was all transpiring, abruptly ceased his laughter and turned to Principal Waxelplax, "Alright, I've seen Turner suffer enough for now. Now tell him your end of the bargain."
"Gladly!" Principal Waxelplax exclaimed, and gestured at Tootie, "Why don't you take a seat?"
Tootie let go off Timmy and looked around, "But there is nowhere to sit!"
The principal smirked as she pressed a button under her desk, and without warning a spring from under Mr. Crocker's seat launched him quite painfully through the roof and into the afternoon sky. With nobody even taking a moment to stop and think that they may have just killed Mr. Crocker, Tootie happily jumped into his now open seat.
"Ugh, sorry about that children, but Mr. Crocker did bring up an important point," Principal Waxelplax held up Timmy's report card, the grades were mediocre at best, his time machine he wished up had carried him through history this year, but most glaring was that he failed Crocker's class. Principal Waxelplax continued, "You don't have enough passed courses to get into the next grade."
"But that's where I come in!" Tootie piped in, standing on her chair proudly. Timmy shivered at this; he had a feeling he knew where this was going when Principal Waxelplax nodded in acknowledgement.
"You see, this girl here has been excelling in grades and attendance, she's the most well behaved kid in the school, heck she even wears a uniform everyday and we don't even make her!" Principal Waxelplax praised the little girl across the desk from her. Tootie smiled bashfully and reached back and unzipped the back of her spy suit, slipping out of it and revealing her usual black, white, and plaid attire in perfectly dull condition. "Thank you!" she politely replied to her principal.
"Yeah, she's also creepy, follows me home all the time, and sneaks into my tree house…" Timmy thought, but he couldn't bring himself to say it in front of Tootie. She was having her moment, why ruin it?
"We want to move her up a grade, but she just needs one more class as well. Since Mr. Crocker is stingy about accepting new students, he and I worked out a deal." Principal Waxelplax explained, "We can get you both credit for the drama class with a passing grade if you play the part in the upcoming school play…."
Timmy sank in his seat while Tootie climbed to edge of hers as they anticipated what the principal was about to say.
"…Romeo and Juliet!"
Tootie cheered and jumped up and down in her seat while Timmy let out a long groan.
"Could this get any worse?" Timmy thought, and then waited, he knew it was coming.
"…aaaaAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" BLAM! Mr. Crocker fell through the ceiling, creating another hole in the roof and landing head first onto the hardwood floor. His body stuck straight out of it like an arrow for a few moments before he reached his arms and pushed his head out of the hole in the floor he had made on impact. As if nothing had happened to him, Mr. Crocker snapped back onto his feet and screamed "GUESS WHAT TURNER? IF YOU MESS UP, NEITHER OF YOU ARE GOING ANYWHERE!"
"….That's right. Part of the deal." Principal Waxelplax acknowledged, "Either you guys nail this role, or you won't pass the drama course and I can't let either of you advance."
"Don't worry, me and Timmy are meant for each other! We're going to put on the best play ever!" Tootie pledged with her fist in the air. Timmy at this point was fiddling with the underneath of his seat, hoping that it also had a trap mechanism like the other one that he could 'accidently' set off and make a smooth, albeit life threatening getaway. All he succeeded in doing though was getting his fingers tangled on a piece of gum stuck underneath the chair.
"Just great, not only do I have to be Tootie's lover, I have to do it in front of the whole school, and if the play is good, Tootie is going to be in my grade tormenting me in front of my friends and Trixie all the time. But if I mess this up I'll be TOOTIE's grade!" Timmy thought.
Whoever wins, he loses.
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Meanwhile at Dimmsdale High, the meanest, nastiest, most neglectful babysitter in the history of childhood was snoozing her way through another boring history class. Genghis Khan? The Crusades? The Baatan Death March? What a bunch of amateurs. Vicky usually took this time to picture herself leading the armies of evil men, standing at a podium screaming in German while her legion of minions goose stepped in a military parade before her. Unfortunately, her imagination had been lacking as of late, she needed something else to occupy her thoughts while the school day slowly wound to a close.
Removing her cell phone from her pocket and hiding it under her desk so her teacher wouldn't see it, though she'd be darned if that fool tried to confiscate it anyways, Vicky browsed through the phones web browser until she reached her favorite social networking site, Twitbook. Searching under the 'Dimmsdale News' category group, she came across a particularly interesting post…
"TURNER GONNA GETZ IT 2DAY!!!!!!1" –l33tFaiRyHuNtAr
That was one her favorite posters! Another intelligent mind that shared her hatred of Timmy Turner, Vicky couldn't resist and quickly clicked on the link. She read through the post which was a long, detailed report that someone had just written, claiming that the twerp would be held back in school if he didn't put on a good performance at a school play that was being held tomorrow. This gave her an idea. Putting aside her phone for a moment, she reached in her back pocket and pulled out a small notebook schedule. She flipped a few pages and then frowned in disappointment, "Darn it, I'm not babysitting the twerp tonight…." She thought, then flipped another page, "…Or tomorrow either. No worries, I'll just get him at the play tomorrow." There was no way she was going to pass up the opportunity to make Timmy have to repeat another year at school, she was going to ruin the twerp's performance no matter what it took.
With perfect timing, the school bell rung to signal the end of the school day. Vicky was the first out the door, she quickly reached her car which was parked in the very first spot in the handicap section, the parking police knew better than to ticket her, and drove off toward home to plot her next move.
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Vicky wasn't the only one who had to come up with a plan, Timmy knew there was no way he, a stupid ten year old boy, could rehearse the lines to a main character in a play that would probably be like an hour long in the course of just one night. At least, just a stupid ten year old boy couldn't, but a boy with fairy god parents could.
"Cosmo! Wanda! You've got to help me!" Timmy yelled as he ran into his room and slammed the door behind him. Cosmo and Wanda, disguised as his goldfish, POOFed into their normal fairy forms and floated in front of Timmy.
"What's wrong Timmy?" Wanda asked.
"Is it Vicky?" Cosmo asked, biting his nails nervously as his eyes darted around the room.
"Yeah, I wish." Timmy said sarcastically. Wanda and Cosmo began to raise their wands, when Timmy waved his arms around frantically, "STOP! I didn't mean that literally!" He paused them just in time; although unbeknownst to him his evil babysitter was already involved even if she hadn't made it known yet. Timmy went over to his bed and sat down, dropping his book bag onto the floor and holding his head down in his hands. "It's not Vicky, it's Tootie."
"She's chasing you again? Man she is persistent." Wanda shook her head, although she actually liked Tootie somewhat, sometimes she feared that girl's snooping would one day get them discovered. Tootie was polite, Wanda liked that, but almost too polite, her thankfulness almost DID get them discovered when Timmy had loaned her and Cosmo to Tootie on her birthday.
"You don't know the half of it. She's actually been working extra hard at school, JUST SO she can be in the same grade as me." Timmy said, he shuddered again at the thought of Tootie in his class with him, watching his every move, blocking his every attempt at Trixie. Timmy continued, "Worse, Crocker is failing me so in order to move up a grade next year I have to do this stupid school play with her, or else I get held back and Tootie will be in my grade next year!"
"That's not so bad Timmy!" Cosmo exclaimed, "Maybe if you let Trixie go ahead of you a year, you'll do what Tootie did, study hard, and actually do well at school for once!" he suggested.
"Yeah right, not with Mr. Crocker and Tootie tormenting me all day long for another year, plus with my two biggest stalkers having their eyes on me all the time, I'll never be able to bring you guys to school again!" Timmy exclaimed. Cosmo and Wanda nodded, he was right; in fact because of Crocker's recent antics they had opted not to go to Timmy's school unless he knew he would really need them. He sure could have today, although with second thought, Timmy knew that Da Rules would have just forbid him from taking the easy way out and changing his failing grade to a pass because it was 'cheating', these things always blocked him and forced him into these long illogical adventures that end up getting solved with magic anyways.
"Don't worry about it kiddo!" Wanda attempted to her cheer her godson up, "We can't use our magic to make you pass, but we can certainly help you put on a good show!"
"Gee well thanks but," Timmy stopped and groaned, remembering the other half of his problem, "If the play is good, Tootie gets moved into my grade anyways, and I'll be stuck with her the rest of this year, next year, all the way until I graduate high school and possibly beyond!"
"Unlikely you'll get past high school Timmy!" Cosmo joked, and chimed in, "Even if you did go to college, Tootie would follow you anywhere in the world!"
Timmy smiled and nodded at Cosmo's comment, not just because it was funny but because it was pretty true, he could transfer to a school in France and she'd already be waiting for him there. Tootie was that dedicated.
"Well, looks like the best thing you can do is put on a good show." Wanda said, and she was right, Timmy was going to get stuck with Tootie either way but at least if he doesn't mess up then he won't have to repeat a year at school, and who knows, if the play is good enough and Tootie gets what she wanted then maybe, just maybe, she'll stop being so clingy and annoying for a bit.
Probably not though.
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Sweat dripped from her brow, she wiped it off and strained her eyes from behind her big horn rimmed glasses. With careful precision, Tootie was hard at work sewing together her costume for the school play. After making the finishing touches, she held up her work and admired it, before neatly setting her costume down on the bed. Then, grabbed her favorite photograph of Timmy off her desk and began to practice.
"Wherefore art thou Timmy?" she stopped and coughed a bit, "Does my voice normally sound this nasally and shrill?" she cleared her sinuses and sprayed some breath freshener into her mouth, then began to speak again, her voice now sounding much more gentle and befitting of her role as she continued practicing…
"O Timmy, O Timmy, wherefore art thou Timmy…"
"BRAVO!"
Tootie jumped out of her chair and fell down on the floor, landing hard on her back. When she picked herself up and focused on the loud intruder of her privacy, she was unsurprised to find it was Vicky, who was clapping unenthusiastically.
"This is rich, you're gonna be in the same dorky little play as the twerp? Go figure." Vicky approached her little sister who was already shaking with fear, she had her hands on her hips that usual stiffen cobra ready to strike look. "The twerp doesn't stand a chance with your ugly mug in the show! I'm sure they'll just make you play as a tree or something, you'd blend right in with the bark!"
"That's not true!" Tootie protested, "I'm pretty enough to play Juliet... the LEAD ROLL!" she yelled, sounding almost like her older sister for a moment when she raised her voice. Vicky was not at all impressed, or convinced.
"Yeah right, here's a pro-tip brainiac, Timmy doesn't want to be your Romeo, and I don't think they wore thick ugly glasses back then anyways! You'll be a walking anachronism!" Vicky laughed at her; although Tootie was young she was smart enough to know what Vicky meant, her eye glasses would be a distraction and Tootie knew she had to be perfect, if she didn't wear her glasses she'd be stumbling around the stage and knocking over props.
"I… I'm gonna do it! You'll see!" Tootie said trying to regain her confidence, but Vicky had really managed to get in her head.
"Oh I will." Vicky said, and turned to leave. That's when she spotted the dress costume Tootie had laid out on the bed. Without warning or provocation, Vicky reached over and grabbed a container of ink off Tootie's desk, opened it, and hurled it onto the dress.
"Nooo!" Tootie screamed as her hard work was ruined when the open container of ink splattered all over it. Plus it stained her Timmy Turner bed sheets too.
"Oops!" Vicky remarked sarcastically, and then cackled as she made her way out the door while her little sister broke out into sobs.
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Back at Timmy's house…
Timmy was strapped to a seat with restraints on his arms and legs, his eyes held open by the lids by a painful looking metal apparatus. Suspended above him was a computer screen rapidly displaying images as quickly as his shifty eyes could process. Wanda was floating nearby, she rolled her eyes in then raised her wand up and poofed away the machine, leaving Timmy standing in his room, blinking his eyes, shaking and rubbing his head.
"I know show-fu." Timmy announced. Without warning, he leaped onto his bed and yelled, "O, teach me how I should forget to think!"
"That's great Timmy!" Wanda applauded him, and then asked, "Do you know any other lines?"
"I forgot." Timmy sunk back onto his bed. "This isn't working. I'm never going to remember over 500 lines in just one night! I couldn't remember that many lines if you gave me 500 years! I'M DOOMED!"
"Timmy, you're not doomed…" Wanda began, when they heard a ruckus heading toward Timmy's room. Fearing Timmy's parents or Vicky, Cosmo and Wanda poofed back into goldfish and hid inside their fishbowl castle. Timmy began to panic.
"Yep! See? Now Vicky is coming, or worse, Tootie, or worse, my parents and they found out I'm failing! I'm doomed! DOOMED! DOO-MED!!!! DOOOOOOOMEEEEEED!!!!!"
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A/N: Chapter one complete! As I didn't include a song or two male characters ramming each other I expect no more than 2 reviews per chapter so get cracking!!!!