I was watching some old episodes to aid my writing for 'Memories By The Sea' and ended up editing an old one-shot to come up with this. (Un-betaed)
My first ever take on Humor! Uh-Oh… :D
~Sting All My Soul To The Past~
Life had been different, but never the same when the cruel hands of fate embraced him in the dimness of Central Forty-six, over a century ago.
He was being accused of something he never committed.
He was being cast out of his duty, his passion.
His home.
All without a concrete proof.
And all because of him.
After all those passing years, his mind travelled back to old fond memories of Gotei. He could still feel the after-sting from Hiyori's brash attacks which mostly left his cheek or nose throbbing in pain but it was highly amusing to see the petite girl blow up her own fuse over the most trivial matters, more specifically, over him.
Even before that, he had had his other share of cold shoulder from Soi Fon, the woman who was currently in the position of Yoruichi. He knew she made a good protégé and would do well as a captain and Commander of the Onmitsukidō. Looking at the orange haired shinigami right now, he sympathised with his long time friend, Isshin. No matter what the sacrifice, the wound of loss never healed, be it your life long duty or the one that you love. As he prepared the large bridge for soul conversion, he began to feel a foreign emotion take over his usual self.
He justified it to all the exhaustion he was feeling from days of planning prior to this moment.
The dark-blue eyed ex-captain glanced at the lucky bunch before him. What he felt was definitely not tiredness or weariness.
It was envy.
How he had not felt that in many years!
He envied those children because their status even as Ryoka was far higher than his, in the sense that it would atleast grant them entrance to the heaven that he had left all those years ago.
No, he was forced to flee.
Nowadays he was just a lowly, but handsome merchant to many; while married to his shop and hoped that their mission would accomplish successfully.
"You have only two minutes. Hurry!" He interrupted their argument pushing aside all his burried emotions which were brimming after all these years and decided to concentrate on the matter at hand.
As his feline friend passed by with steadily paced footwork in her cat form, she noticed the longing in his eyes.
"Take me." He said like a child but in a whisper making sure none of those children heard him. But, both Yoruichi and he knew that his very existence was made forbidden in the sea of Reishi that was floating freely all over Soul Society.
Freedom.
Yoruichi gave him a perplexed glance at his sudden depressed mood.
"I was only kidding! Better set the mood, eh Yoruichi?" He caused her to arch one of her cat eye brows.
"Say Hello to Soi Fon for me." The eccentric shop-keeper switched into a jovial mood as he sent her a knowing wink causing her to shake her head in disappointment.
Even if they won the rescue spree and all the coming battles, there was surely more to follow afterwards. And it did not need any guessing or deduction skills of a detective.
"Time to leave!"
As the Ryoka group alongwith Yoruichi, one by one, vanished into the depth of the Soul converter, his right hand subconsciously reached for the other dimension. An instant spark betrayed his action.
It was rejection from the other side.
But it was where his heart was.
A place called home.
One week later…
Urahara had been keeping himself quite busy with his shop lately but now and then he was concerned over the happenings in Gotei. They would be back any time.
Kuchiki Rukia's execution was his fault mostly and for that he was responsible. He did feel a tinge of guilt.
One fine evening while the birds were singing outside, Urahara Shoten had an unexpected visit from a very angry petite lady.
"I will teach that crackpot a lesson today!" Her long braids bound with white cloth slapped the wind around her lithe demeanour and proceeded to go right into the shop while threatening the peaceful grounds until she was stopped by one of the sweepers.
"What is the meaning of this?!" She retorted, fuming.
Urahara heard the commotion going on outside in his yard and realizing her voice instantly, he smirked.
He soon decided to put it to rest, after all, it was no fun if Soi Fon fatigued already and had little of her growing rage left in her. He would rather welcome all of it for the enjoyment that was going to make it worthwhile later on.
"Let her in, Ururu-san." He called out in a jolly fashion.
Without even waiting a second, Soi Fon burst open the front shoji and entered like a bullet headed for its target.
"I will kill you today, Kisuke and it is not a warning!" She was livid. The unbending resolve to kill dangled even from her thick dark eyelashes and dropped to add a sense of sinister to the quietness of inside from just few minutes ago.
She arrived at the small friendly, but right now suffocated which it would have been if it had any living sense of feelings, tea-room in no time to see him sitting very casually. His shadow swept eyes mocked her very existence, not to mention her swelling temper.
Soi Fon felt very intimidated by his objective stare. "Idiot, have you forgotten how to beg for mercy?"
Anyone in their right mind would have apologized for the sake of their dear life and left. Of course, the deceptive geezer was never even rumoured to have a right mind.
That stationary look on Urahara did it for her this time. He was supposed to cringe in fear, dammit!
"I see he has become even more clumsier."
She narrowed her eyes and went to her obi pocket. "How dare you send kid's confectionery to mock my standing?"
The ninth head of the Fon clan shot few red heart shaped sweets across the table while fighting the flustered feeling inside. Seeing Urahara still not bothered by her outrageous actions and bearing that mocking grin, she decided to give into impatience. She did not care if that was what he had intended. She would do it this time!
She shot a sadistic smirk while slipping out her zanpakutou. "You think I am not serious. Sting all enemies to death, Suzumebachi." Her forefinger soon became adorned with a black striped golden hornet.
Without letting him protest, Soi Fon launched herself at him in a lightning flash, causing the tip of her hornet to prick into his flesh.
She expected him to dodge.
With a high pitched sound, her irritation turned into confusion.
"He just exploded..." The sentence itself did not sound right.
She eyed the flaccid body which was now in her embrace.
It was shrinking violently every second.
"I think I have killed him for real." And the next thought that buzzed in her mind was not pretty.
She had broken the law.
The law.
Broken.
Tears wanted to come out but she was too shocked to even move. As the head of her clan, she was expected to be the embodiment of loyalty and live her life that way.
All she wanted was to teach him a lesson but not this way.
Had she wanted to kill him that bad? What would her Yoruichi-sama say?
She started to feel queasy but a gleeful voice knocked her out of her numb shell.
"My, my, dear Soi Fon, if I did not know any better I would have thought you were worried over me."
The remarkable inventor appeared from behind the back shoji door.
"It looks like you have stung your own heart."
The almost teary lady turned her attention in astonishment. There he was in his all time messy blonde hair, dark eyes now shining in triumph. Her eyes closely scanned his green haori and that out of place stripy hat, even that never shutting-up geta was at his feet.
"But…" She looked to her hands and that deflated…deflated?
Wait, it was not a body… after all then.
There she was, talking to a stupid gigai.
"Does my Soi Fon seem disappointed?" His dark blue eyes gave away little more than something.
"Your idiotic schemes won't save you this time." Clutching her hands she got up and turned towards him as she threw away the portable gigai.
Urahara touched his chin while a streak of amusement glinted across those dark, cunning eyes.
"In that case, it sounds like I will definitely be in your arms this time."
The queen of assassination became so enraged by his vulgar declaration that she knocked over his tea-table while ferociously resisting the urge to strangle his pale neck and announced her farewell with a teeth-gritted groan.
He could perceive the sound of his yard getting stung by her thunderous footsteps as she exclaimed 'How dare he mock me?!" and bolted out of the premises. It was granted that Ōmaeda was not going to have a very good day.
Peacefulness sneakily made its way back once again and so did his loneliness.
Urahara sighed as he went to the front of his shop.
"Sting to death? Here I was, almost wishing that I would make it home this time."**
His typical outlandish behaviour really hid all that was inside him. He glanced at the candy in his hand and smiled widely.
"Always try, try again!"
I have combined few scenes from Bleach and came up with it. I don't do so well in writing humor but that was his portable gigai from Urahara Vs Yami. I just felt like trying something different and hopefully this one-shot makes sense.. After doing one, I might find some confidence to try more.
**Have you wondered what would happen to Urahara if he died? Would he end up in SS? He is not human but… there is a but.
If you want my replies, I suggest you leave a signed review because it is an one-shot(not sure if anyone would review this though!). - -;
SS= Soul Society.
Thanks!