Sadly, no, this is not a new chapter. I finally found someone willing to help me out with this story, so I decided to edit and fix this chapter before I get to publishing the next one. I know this story has been on hold for a little more than three months, but my motivation is back now and I'm already almost done with the next chapter. So, yes, that means I will be continuing this story. I can't promise you quick updates as school is starting again soon for me, but I don't plan on abandoning this piece either. I'm sorry for the wait. I hope some of you guys are still with me and haven't given up on this story just yet.
Thank you, Breathless Ivory for being an amazing beta!
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Once Upon A Time or any of its characters.
Emma Swan never believed in promises of true love and soul mates and all the other bullshit people had sold her over the years. However, when Killian stepped closer to her, pressing her back against the desk, her body molded perfectly into his, and she could swear he was made just for her. It made her heart ache longingly, yet it gave her some sick twisted comfort at the same time.
Every part of her skin burned from the tender yet demanding touch of his hands when they travelled up her thighs, slowly raising the hem of her dress inch by inch. His lips were soft on hers and he gently bit down on her bottom lip, making her body hum in anticipation and need.
She parted her lips slightly and he took that as an invitation, letting his tongue slip into her mouth as one of her hands snuck around his neck. The taste of strawberries, cream and champagne they'd enjoyed earlier, along with something that was purely him created an extremely erotic sensation in her mouth, and a soft sound between a moan and a whimper escaped her. Her nails scrapped his scalp and he groaned into her mouth, their tongues battling for dominance.
He was so wonderful, so amazing, that she'd almost forgotten why she'd ever decided to stop their little affair in the first place. Her brain screamed at her to stop giving in already, to carry on with her plan and break this hellish thing off once and for all, but the voice was silenced by his breathless growl.
Moving from her lips to her jaw, he kissed the spot just below her ear which made her go crazy, sucking and nibbling relentlessly until he was sure it would leave a mark. Only then did his lips travel lower, leaving hot wet kisses down her exposed neck. One of his hands abandoned her thigh to wander up her side to where it stopped just below her breast, his thumb brushing teasingly over her covered nipple, making her whimper greedily. The sensation combined with his eager kisses sent electric waves down her spine again, making it especially hard for her to not plead for more. Not that she would give him that satisfaction – at least not yet.
The hard length of his erection was pressing deliciously against her abdomen and Emma felt the warm sensation which had started low in her belly spread to her core, making it difficult for her to think about much else but the feeling of his lips assaulting hers. She was trying hard to not be the first to give in, but the need was too strong and his hands too eager. She brought her slightly trembling hands between their bodies and started undoing the buttons of his jacket.
"Have I ever told you how incredibly fuck-able you look in a suit?" Emma purred against his lips with the knowledge of what her sultry voice did to him. Smiling to herself when he groaned again, she pushed his jacket off his shoulders and placed it gently on the counter next to them. She knew he hated when his expensive clothes got wrinkly.
He laced their fingers together and stepped away from her, smirking at her groan of protest as he tugged her towards the stairs of his suite. Silently, she followed him to the spacious bedroom, guiltily enjoying the feeling of her palm in his. When they entered the room, Killian pulled her back into his embrace, kissing her passionately and demandingly, making her knees go weak at the intensity.
"Strip," he ordered softly but with an authority she couldn't deny.
Smiling teasingly, she turned her back to him, brushing her golden locks over her shoulder. "Help me with the zipper," she said, looking up at him from under her lashes as innocently as she could. Secretly, she kind of liked this side of her which came out whenever he was around.
He wordlessly brought his hands to her shoulder blades, tenderly tracing his fingers over her inked skin. "I like this little souvenir from your rebellious years," he whispered against her ear, making her shudder as his stubble tickled her neck and his warm breath caressed her skin. "You're quite truly an angel." She felt his feather-like kisses hover over her angel wings tattoo and closed her eyes, relishing in his touch.
If she really was an angel, than he was most certainly the devil.
He unzipped her dress sensually and slowly, making sure to take his sweet time with his task while Emma grew impatient. Once he reached her lower back, he stepped away again, and she sighed internally at the loss of his closeness. "Now, strip," he demanded again, loosening his tie in the process.
Turning around slowly, Emma let her strapless dress slide down her body and pool around her feet, keeping her eyes on his the whole time. The familiar warm sensation returned to her lower parts as his eyes ran hungrily over her body, his eyes darkening a few shades when they came to rest on hers.
"Get on the bed, now."
More than happy to oblige, Emma stumbled back a few steps until the back of her knees hit the soft mattress and she sank into the soft Egyptian cotton. She pulled herself higher on the bed and propped herself up on her elbows. She watched him unbutton and fold his dress shirt with an inviting smirk on her lips. Kicking off his shoes, Killian slowly crawled towards her, his eyes blazing with desire.
Once he was hovering over her, he leaned down and captured one of her aroused nipples between his teeth, sucking lustily. The action made her back arch as she pressed herself closer to him, silently begging for more. Biting lightly on her peak, the mixture of pleasure and pain drew a breathless hiss out of her, and she felt him smirk against her skin.
When he was done assaulting one of her nipples, he repeated the delicious torture on the other, making her cry out as he bit down again. Her fists were gripping the sheets so tightly she was afraid she would tear the soft fabric when she felt his lips wander lower, licking and leaving light kisses over her stomach and abdomen. Placing burning kisses on each of her hips, he tugged her panties down her legs and stuffed them in the back pocket of his dress pants.
Emma had learned months ago that even though Killian Jones was an incredibly selfish man, he was humbly selfless in bed, and always focused his attention solely on her and her pleasure. Sometimes, it seemed like bringing her to the edge, torturing her sweetly until she was pleading for her release and then finally allowing her to reach oblivion was as equally pleasurable for him as his own release.
Well, she certainly wasn't complaining.
Biting softly on the smooth skin of her inner thigh, he pulled her out of her musings, silently demanding her full attention. The awareness of his lips moving ever so slowly up her thigh, nibbling on her juncture, made her whole body throb with need and desire for this amazing man. His warm breath finally hit her core and his tongue dipped between her folds. Emma couldn't help herself but to thrust her hips upwards, wanting, needing more.
She closed her eyes and let go of the sheets, only to dive her fingers in his dark hair, clutching his locks furiously as each circle of his tongue brought immense pleasure to her body. The wondrous, lustful things his mouth was afflicting on her heated flesh made her feel so helpless but at the same time strong enough to move a mountain. He had that kind of power over her, and while it enthralled her it also scared her to death.
As he slid two of his talented fingers inside her aching core, Emma knew she would do just about anything for him. Not just because she was so helplessly in love with him, but also because he dominated her like that, completely overwhelmed and possessed her. It was so twistedly amazing it made her hum low in her throat.
He thrust his fingers into her in a painfully slow pace, careful not to let her fall over that edge she was so close to already. She knew what he wanted, and she was too weak to refuse him. "Please," she pleaded anxiously.
"Please, what, love?" He taunted cruelly, curling his fingers in such a way they reached that sweet spot low in her belly, making her cry out in a mix of desperation and desire.
"Killian…"
"Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you," he promised passionately, sucking relentlessly on her small bundle of nerves.
"Please," she chanted, "please, let me come."
Feeling the satisfied smirk against her burning skin, she sighed happily, letting her body finally completely relax. It didn't take long before his thrust became more urgent, his tongue more eager, and she felt her walls close around his fingers. Her hands pulled at his hair painfully and her muscles clenched deliciously. With another few swipes of his skillful tongue, she spiraled over the edge, reaching the sweet oblivion with a set of loud moans.
When she finally came down from her high, she noticed Killian had already taken the rest of his clothes off and was slowly advancing on her with hungry eyes, reminding her of a predator stalking its prey. Without even giving her a chance to completely calm down, he lifted her hips and positioned his fully-erect member at her entrance. Slowly, he pushed only his tip inside and then stopped, commanding her to open her eyes and look at him. Shaking, she complied and as soon as her eyes locked with those amazing blue orbs of his, he slammed into her with such force her lips parted in a mixture of pleasure and pain.
"Gods," he rasped, waiting for her to adjust to his size and then lifted her left leg and placed it on his shoulder, sucking on the soft skin of her ankle teasingly.
Arching her back, she pleaded for him to start moving as the indescribable need for him flooded through her again. His thrusts started out slow, almost painfully full of promises, but when her gasps grew louder and his pants shallower, he sped up and she matched his pace, meeting his every pound.
"Killian," she all but screamed from the waves of pleasure that coursed through her body.
"C'mon, lass, let go," he urged her, trying a different, even more delicious angle.
She was so amazingly close already that when his breathless grunts reached her ears she was sent over the edge, crying out loudly as the sweet nirvana washed over her. Every muscle in her body flexed. With a few powerful thrusts, he spilled inside her and fell forward, releasing her leg. He barely managed to catch himself on his elbows before he could crush her under his weight.
The sensation was so overwhelming yet at the same time devastatingly heartbreaking. Words of love and affection hung from the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed them down almost painfully. Emma could never tell him how she really felt about him. She told herself it was because that just wasn't them, but she knew she was lying to herself. In reality, his refusal would completely destroy her.
So she stayed quiet.
Biting demandingly on her neck, he slowly pulled out but stayed on top of her, waiting for her to catch her breath again. When she finally came down from her high, their eyes met and she almost wished they hadn't. There were so many things she wanted to share with him. She wanted to tell him about her day, to talk about nothing and everything, to be able to whisper sweet nothings into his ear – to be allowed to love him properly.
But she couldn't. Ever.
Emma never considered herself as one of those pathetic women who needed a man in their lives. She had always been independent, brave and confident – she was completely fine with being single and not settling down. However, that was until Killian came into her life. He turned her world completely around, persuaded her into sleeping with him and made her fall in love with him. She had known their relationship was strictly sex, yet she had still fallen for it.
It was kind of cruel, to be honest. To have something so amazing so close to you, but at the same time so incredibly far away. She could touch and please him whenever she wanted, but she couldn't talk to him and wake up with him beside her.
They were friends, but not exactly. Outside the bedroom, their relationship was sternly platonic. Having the same friends, they couldn't exactly avoid each other or keep their distance. And they were friends before everything happened…sort of.
They never really decided to keep their activities a secret, it just kind of happened. Ruby and Mary Margaret knew, and probably David too, but that was it. As far as she knew, Killian never told anyone except possibly his brother. She knew she didn't mean all that much to him, so why would he even want to talk about her?
At first, she had hoped he would one day realize he was madly in love with her and proclaim his unconditional love to her. Obviously, that had never happened. So after months of convincing herself that she deserved better, more, she finally decided to end their affair once and for all.
That was why she was here tonight…she had just gotten a little sidetracked.
But now, gazing into his amazing eyes, she realized it would be much harder than she thought. She allowed herself to get lost in those orbs for the last time. They were enchantingly blue, deep as the ocean and bright as the sky. She often got lost in them, she realized. But they weren't just blue; there were so many shades of grey and even green swimming in them one could write a book about them.
But that wouldn't be her. No, because she was letting him go, letting that part of her go. It was time.
"It's over," she blurted out, her eyes widening almost comically.
Puzzled, Killian leaned back a few inches. His surprised face quickly turned unreadable as his eyes hardened and his jaw clenched. When he spoke, his tone was completely calm but Emma knew better than to be comforted by it. "What?"
Emma drew in a sharp breath. Before the tension could become unbearable she pushed him off, getting up as quickly as she could. She knew that if she let him pull her back down, she would not be able to accomplish what she came here to do. She would fall under his spell again. She would let him ravish her, but not love her, and then go home in tears – just like she had done the last time…and the time before that, and the time before that.
Her eyes frantically searched the room in an attempt to locate her dress. She didn't feel strong or able to do this while completely naked and exposed. She almost cried out in relief once her gaze finally settled on the pile of red a few feet away from her.
She still couldn't believe she had actually done it.
After having to spend the whole day pretending that she was unconditionally happy for the newly wed, while she really wanted to pluck the bride's eyes out and knock some sense into her brother, she was more than ready to disappear far away from all the chaos. But she couldn't, because she promised herself – and Ruby – that she would end things with Killian tonight.
So, she followed him to his hotel just outside Storybrooke with every intention of executing her plan. Then he had seduced her with that bottle of champagne and strawberries and cream, so she selfishly allowed herself to sleep with him one last time.
But no more, now she was getting her life back. Now she was freeing herself from his tight grasp.
"This, me and you, it's over." She didn't have the time or the patience to search for her panties, so she just pulled her dress up and brought her shaky hands to her back to zip it up.
Too anxious and nervous, Emma didn't notice him getting out of his bed, much less nearing her. Suddenly his strong grip was on her hands and a silent gasp left her mouth. He said nothing, but let her hands fall back down to her sides and started working on her zipper. Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest and her breathing quickened.
"What exactly are you trying to achieve?" His husky voice rasped into her ear then, making a shiver run down her spine for all the wrong reasons as the sharp sound of the zipper echoed through the room.
Did he seriously think she was playing games with him, that she was provoking him just because she was needy? Spinning around, she narrowed her eyes at him in anger and disbelief.
"I'm not trying to achieve anything. This isn't working anymore and I want it to end, simple as that." She lied, pursing her lips. If only it were really that simple.
His eyes hardened when the realization of how serious she was finally dawned on him. When he spoke again, his voice was cold and harsh. "This is not for you to decide. You can't just walk away like this, Swan."
"Watch me," she all but spat. She turned on her heels and started walking, her mind spinning. She had trouble breathing and the only thought on her mind was that she needed to get far away very soon or her trouble would be for nothing.
Before she could even reach the doors; however, his fingers curled around her wrist. She cried out in surprise as he spun her around roughly and slammed her against the wall with such force that her shoulders began aching. He silenced her protests when his mouth crushed over hers possessively.
Without her permission, her body responded to his closeness and she returned the heated kiss, hungrily devouring his mouth. The thoughts of getting away were suddenly gone and all she could think about was what an amazing kisser he was. An involuntarily moan escaped her throat.
The soft sound was enough to break the spell. Her eyes snapped open in panic and disbelief and she pushed at his naked chest with all of her strength. She managed to get him to stumble back a few feet before her hand connected with his cheek. The sound of the slap rang through the empty room, and her hand throbbed slightly.
"I'm done being your whore, Jones. We are over," she hissed, trying to ignore his blazing eyes. She walked out of the bedroom, leaving the man she loved behind.
"This is not over, Swan!" Killian's shout was the last thing she heard before she darted down the stairs.
It wasn't until she was at the hotel's lobby that Emma fully began to understand what she had just done. She had broken things off with Killian. She had finally summoned enough courage to leave that part of herself behind her. It should have felt good. She should have felt free and satisfied. So why did she just feel like crying?
She felt like her security blanket had been torn away from her leaving her vulnerable and unprotected. As much as Emma told herself she didn't need a man to be happy, and as much as she could despise Killian's possessive side, it had felt good to belong to someone—even if it wasn't exactly how she had imagined it.
It was just a little past two in the morning and the night was uncharacteristically cold for April. Emma realized she left her blazer inside, but there was no way in hell she'd go back anytime soon. Instead, she wrapped her arms around her shaking frame and began the slow trip to her car.
Since it was so late and most of the town was either sleeping or at The Rabbit Hole, the only sound she could hear was the clicking of her ankle-boots on the pavement accompanied with an occasional soft breeze. Although she didn't want any company, the silence made her uncomfortable and somehow colder. Shuddering, she hugged herself tighter and quickened her pace. .
Luckily her old apartment wasn't far from the hotel Killian was staying in and it didn't take her more than ten minutes to park her car and finally step inside the warm building. All but dragging herself upstairs, she fished the key from her handbag and quietly unlocked the doors, trying not to wake Ruby – if her sister was even there. Emma saw her adoptive sister leave the wedding reception with Victor Whale and if she knew either of them at all, there was little chance Ruby would be home tonight.
Yet, when she opened the doors, she noticed the lights were on in the apartment. Curious, she moved to the living room where she found her sister snoring in the loveseat and her best friend, Mary Margaret curled on the sofa. She vaguely wondered if the pixie-haired woman had left her fiancée alone at Granny's B&B, but couldn't muster enough emotion to really care.
She groaned in annoyance. "Please tell me this isn't another intervention," she snorted in exasperation loud enough to startle the two women as she took off her boots.
"Emma!" Mary Margaret jumped to her feet as soon as she noticed the blonde, her face a mask of sympathy and compassion while her eyes appeared sleepy and unfocused.
"Did you do it? Did you tell him to fuck off?" Her sister joined in, standing up as well with a wide yawn.
Her heart ached as the question brought up some less than pleasant memories from earlier. She hadn't allowed herself to think of them until now, so she swallowed down her pain and composed herself. "It's done. Now, I appreciate your concern but I'm exhausted so I'm just going to crash."
"Emma—" her best friend started, but Emma didn't let her finish.
"Thanks for stopping by Mary Margaret, but I'm fine, really. You should get back to David."
"You sure?" Ruby probed, her eyes narrowed in suspicion. When Emma nodded, her younger sister scoffed in mock-annoyance and exclaimed, "So you're telling me I gave up a night of kinky sex for nothing?"
Emma couldn't help but shake her head in amusement. Her sister really was something else. "Can I go now?"
"Yeah, you can go, but as long as you promise to talk to us tomorrow," Mary Margaret narrowed her eyes at her, making Emma exhale loudly.
"We'll have more than enough time to talk on our way back home. Good night."
"Night, sis'."
"Good night, Emma."
With another halfhearted nod, the blonde climbed the iron stairs and closed the door of her bedroom behind her. She threw her handbag onto the small table in the corner, and headed towards her en-suite bathroom, but stopped when she caught her reflection in the full length mirror in the corner.
The figure staring back at her was the same as always, but she didn't recognize it.
She was wearing a sleeveless, form-fitting, crimson dress that ended just above her knees. The top half of the dress was covered with a thin, black lace and ended with a heart-shaped neckline. While the dress was truly beautiful, it made Emma feel like a complete stranger.
She didn't wear dresses often; she'd have jeans and her red leather jacket over tight skirts any day.
But it wasn't the dress that made her so foreign, not really. What she saw in the mirror was a broken girl, someone weak and vulnerable – someone pathetic. And that wasn't her, that would never be her. She was a strong, independent woman who had just done something incredibly brave and right.
Why did she feel so devastatingly wrong then?
She tore her eyes away from the insulting reflection. She stripped and showered in record speed, not wanting the hot water to soothe her just yet. Once she was done brushing her teeth, she pulled a worn-out oversized T-shirt over her head and crawled under the covers.
Her eyes felt heavy, as if they carried the burden of the world on their lids. She just wanted this day to be over, but her mind wouldn't let her rest in peace. Instead, her thoughts wandered back to Killian. She thought of what he might be doing now, if he was thinking about her at all or if he had found someone else to play with already, and what he had meant when he said it wasn't over yet. Her mind was swirling and before she knew it, hot tears were running silently down her cheeks, making her snort in disgust. She absolutely hated crying.
She wondered if things would get better once they got back to New York. Avoiding someone you didn't want to see was much easier in the Big Apple than it was in a small town like Storybrooke. Luckily, she wouldn't have to wait long to find out. They were heading back tomorrow.
To say she didn't get much sleep that night was an understatement. It was hours before she heard a faint creak of her doors and then the sound of light footsteps approaching her bed. The mattress dipped under the weight of her sister. Neither of them said anything as Ruby wrapped her hand around the blonde comfortingly and Emma was finally able to close her eyes.
Thank you for reading.