Just a little something I wrote for the Star Trek XI kink meme. Involving water sex. And a tub. And, of course, McCoy. :)

It's just rated T because, well, I didn't think it was that graphic.

The Tub Incident That Gave McCoy A Psychotic Break And Possibly Changed His Life Forever…Or Something Like That

The tub was considered Starfleet issue therapeutic. Possibly for strains and relaxation between endless attacks. McCoy, however, thought its purpose was entirely less than helpful in his sickbay. After all, Jim had admitted to requesting it only because it blew bubbles. And it was a good way to turn McCoy's hair white. Or, at the very least, very gray.

And so it was that Dr. Leonard McCoy of the USS Enterprise almost hypo'd himself as he went to check the manual of the tub, the manual that was connected to it, since Jim had suspiciously misplaced the unconnected one. All because some damn woman wanted a water birth. So, he understood they were stuck on a ship for five damn years, and sure, people were bound to have unprotected sex.

But dammit man! They'd only left port less than a month ago. And the only damn reason the lady wanted a water birth was because that's how she'd conceived – said her lovers had a water kink… News McCoy could have definitely lived without.

So he went to check if the tub had some kind of birth setting. He remembered BIRTW, because Jim was a damn perverse lecher. Before-Insertion-Read-The-Warnings. Insertion of what? He'd been stupid enough to actually ask and Jim would've given him an answer – no doubt – but he'd already had his hypo ready and poised for attack.

It really shouldn't have surprised him, though. Really.

He'd caught Scotty once, with sandwiches and Scotch, talking about ample nacelles and some transwarp engineering formula (quiet, seductive whispers, for God's sake, about a ship) and then groaning and a wide smile after an invitation to join.

His mind was on the manual, not the rhythmic sloshing and slap of water against the side of the tub. And the low moaning completely escaped him. When he looked up, though, he was almost glad that he hadn't hypo'd himself. He hadn't known Spock could flush that many shades of green or even… look that damn erotic with the Captain pounding—

"Dammit Jim!" McCoy cursed. He didn't look away. Oh, he was so going to have nightmares about this later.

Jim made a noise McCoy had never head him make before when Spock arched his back against the tub and the Captain was grinding and grunting and just…

Okay, so maybe not nightmares. Maybe they were more like pleasantly pornographic fantasies…

A shrieking scream (what kind of noise was that?) brought him back and for a moment he though that Uhura had come to find her boyfriend only to discover that Jim really was the manwhore she'd claimed him to be all those years at the academy. But then he realized that the water wasn't really moving anymore and that Jim had a certain glow that just said I'm-a-sex-god-and-I-have-just-been-worshipped-thoroughly. Spock was trying to catch his breath despite looking like he could go for another round.

Spock. Spock had made that sound. McCoy didn't want to say it sounded girl parse, but he didn't have any other words to better describe it. Spock had only ever sounded deep and masculine so girlish screamer had never crossed his mind.

Vaguely he wondered if Uhura knew.

Jim explained without separating from the Vulcan. "He's never done it in water before." Was he seriously still thrusting?

And that seemed to be that, as the Captain and his first officer went for round-who-knows-how-many.

McCoy tilted his. He hadn't known Vulcans were that flexible.

Maybe having a tub in sickbay wasn't so bad. Hell, he might even join Scotty next time he asked. Or maybe even Uhura, if she offered. Or was even remotely interested. Or hell! Why not right now? He was sure Spock wouldn't mind. And Jim?

…Well, it was Jim. Jim never minded.