I do not own Superman or anything relating to his actual backstory
People would always ask Superman how he found out he had powers as a teenager, he would always make something up like he ran fast in P.E or his super hearing kicked in and the powers were discovered from there. But the real reason for how Superman found his powers is a story he swore he'd never tell, this is the story about how he found his powers. It dates back to when he was a teenager in the town of Smallville, the day was average and it was on that day that a young Clark Kent was sitting in sex ed class. "So basically that is how sperm properly functions" the teacher said finishing his talk on human sperm, "now of course you don't always have to have sex to produce sperm, for males the other way they produce sperm is through masturbation". "Sorry to interrupt sir but what is masturbation?" Clark asked his teacher with all the students around him laughing, "Clark you're 15 I'm sure you'd know by now" his teacher said with curiosity. "But since you asked it's very simple" the teacher said, "the male simply grabs hold of his penis and strokes it until sperm is produced". Clark listened with curiosity as he'd never heard of this before, "the penis will need to be erect and that can be done through sexual thoughts" the teacher continued explaining as Clark kept listening taking notes in his head. "Do you have all the information you need Clark?" his teacher asked, "yes sir I understand" Clark said with enthusiasm. "TEN BUCKS SAYS HE'LL THINK ABOUT LOIS WHEN HE DOES IT" one of the school bullies yelled at the top of his lungs, everyone laughed while Lois Lane who was in that class hid her face in her hands.
School ended and Clark walked straight home not talking to anyone as news about what had happened in class spread quickly, he was embarrassed as he walked home but was still curious about what he found out in class. When he got home he saw that his "parents" weren't home so he saw this as an opportunity, he went straight up into his room and locked his door which he felt was appropriate. He wasn't sure about the environment so he figured he would set the mood a bit more, he left his room and found some candles in the living room. He grabbed the candles and a box of matches, he proceeded to go back up into his room and locked the door once again. He placed the candles in various places around his room and lit them once they were in place, he laid down on his bed and tried to remember what he heard in class. "The penis will need to be erect and that can be done through sexual thoughts" was the first thing that Clark remembered, "TEN BUCKS SAYS HE'LL THINK ABOUT LOIS WHEN HE DOES IT" was the other thing Clark remembered. Clark once again felt embarrassed about that but then began to think about Lois and how she was a great girl and he'd never…he looked down and saw through his pants that he was erect. "I guess just this once…I mean it's not like she'll find out" Clark said to himself to try and calm down, he pulled down his pants and just stared at his erection for a moment. "I don't like this" Clark thought to himself, "it's all hard and gross" Clark thought as he kept staring at it. He then decided that he might as well try it as he was curious about it, he grabbed his erection and started to think about Lois. He thought about her during cheerleading practice and how she looked so hot in that outfit, he started going faster and he kept thinking about how she was so hot…so hot…so…hot "is this meant to burn" Clark thought to himself. He decided it was nothing and kept going, he started thinking about Lois again and how that skirt made her look so hot…so "wow this really burns". Clark felt a burning sensation on his crotch that almost felt like fire, Clark opened his eyes to see what was wrong only to discover his penis was on fire.
Clark began to panic as he wasn't sure how this happened since all the candles were far away from him, Clark started blowing on it which started his ice breath and after a big blow a bunch of ice flew out which put out the fire but put his penis in a big block of ice. Clark began to get confused about this but also kept panicking about it, Clark stared at his penis to see how it could be solved but while staring his laser vision kicked in which shot straight at the ice. The ice did begin to melt but with the melting also came the laser hitting Clark's penis, Clark kept screaming about how lasers came out of his eyes and how his penis was in a lot of pain. He curled up into a ball and laid on the ground in pain, after a while the pain had left and Clark stood up confused about what just happened. He didn't realise he had these powers before but was curious as to how they worked, he waited until his parents came home as he had some serious questions. He waited for a while until finally his parents came back from work, his father came through the door and saw Clark sitting at the kitchen table. "Dad I need to talk to you about something" Clark said in a serious tone of voice", his dad sat down with curiosity as to what Clark wanted.
"What's wrong" his father asked, "dad I found out today that I have these weird…powers I guess and I wanted to know if you knew about it" Clark said not looking away from his dad in a serious tone of voice. His father then looked down realising that his son is close to finding out the truth, "son I guess it's time I finally told you" Clark's dad Jonathan said as he stood up. He walked Clark to the barn that was in the backyard that Clark was never allowed in, they went inside and Jonathan opened the bottom of the barn revealing an alien spaceship. "What is this?" Clark asked with curiosity and shock, "this is your spaceship" Jonathan said in a sad tone of voice. "What are you talking about?" Clark said obviously becoming very upset over what he has heard, "we found you out in one of the cornfields close by, you were just sitting in this thing" Jonathan said as he looked at the ship. "We took you in as our son but what I know is that most likely you're not from out world" Jonathan said looking at Clark who was still in shock from what he had heard, "you mean…I'm an alien?" Clark said realising the truth. "I guess so" Jonathan said with sadness, "but that doesn't mean we don't love you the same". "I know" Clark said seeing the sadness in his dad, "so I'm guessing your powers are part of where you're from" Jonathan said to Clark now curious about the powers. "I guess so" Clark said with slight wonder, "so how did you find them?" Jonathan asked with curiosity. Clark froze realising that he couldn't tell his "father" how it actually happened, "I…well…I was just running and…uh…I just began running really fast" Clark lied hoping that his dad wouldn't realise.
"So that's basically how I found my powers" Superman said with Batman staring back at him, Batman had a look of shock on his face from what he had just heard. "You know Superman" Batman said to Superman, "there are some stories that most people should just keep to themselves" Batman said as he walked away from Superman. Superman sat down in a chair and began to think, "Maybe I shouldn't have told him that story" Superman thought to himself.
Hopefully you enjoyed the story, I wrote it for fun as I always wanted to do a story like this.