All Yao really wanted was to cradle him in his arms again.
Though he knew he couldn't, though he felt guilty for having this longing, Yao couldn't help but miss his brother. His poor, poor brother. Influenced by evil, then forever hated.
It had been years since the war had ended. Then why wouldn't Yao allow himself to forgive Kiku?
The Chinese man was gazing at the stars one day. It pained him to be here, sitting in the exact position he had years ago, without his little brother in his lap. His innocent little brother; so quiet, so cute, so humble, so patient- so loving. Though it had all been hidden by a mask, which was what made the game more fun to play, if you understand me.
Yao pursed his lips as, after seeing that familiar star, he'd smiled and tried to pet the boy that wasn't there. His now shaking hand had passed through a cloud of air, instead of coming to rest on Kiku's jet black hair and stroking it as if he were a baby panda. Yao had been forced to blink away tears when memories had flown in, shattering the barricades of hatred he'd built to prevent himself from having a mental breakdown.
"Kiku... my Kiku..." Gritting his teeth, Yao felt hot tears slowly trail down his pallid face. It had been years since he'd mourned over Kiku; for a long time, he'd actually fooled himself that he hated him, but how could he? How could Yao hate something so innocent, so precious, so...
So close to his heart?
"Oh God..." choked Yao, now lying on his side. His overgrown brown hair had escaped the restrains of its ponytail, and now sprawled across the wooden floor of the veranda. For a minute or two, he opened his chocolate brown, tear-filled eyes. Through them, he saw nothing but a blurry night sky. Of course. That same night sky that had been there years ago, when he'd still got Kiku.
That was it. He couldn't hold it back. A loud sob escaped his throat, splitting the almost tranquil night air that had been present previously.
Hugging himself, Yao lay on his back for a while, attempting to steady his breathing. He wiped the tears from his eyes, sniffling as he sat up and took one last glance at the stars.
One last glance.
After that, he lost control of his body. Longing had possessed him- but did he care? Not in the slightest. He grabbed his shoes, practically shoving them onto his feet, and strode out of the door.
Now that he was here, Yao realised just how stupid this idea was. Debates took place inside him; should he have visited Kiku? Could he face seeing him? Being face-to-face with the one he despised, loathed- loved, as a brother?
Do it, Yao. Just knock.
But what if I can't? What if-
Yao. You've longed for this for years, aru. This is your chance. You had the courage before, don't let it go now, aru.
"No," Yao told himself under his breath. "No, I won't, aru."
Hesitantly, quickly as to get it over with, Yao knocked on the door to Kiku's house.
No answer came, but it was too late. Too late for Kiku to still be out and about, wasn't it? Perhaps- perhaps he just hadn't heard. Again, Yao knocked.
"Kiku, aru?" The Chinese man lay his hand on the slider door; as he did so, it did exactly what it said on the tin and slid open.
Cautiously, Yao stepped into the house, careful to shut the door behind him.
You're here, Yao, you're with Kiku, aru!
But I'm not with Kiku. Kiku isn't he-
A small figure, much bigger than Yao remembered. It was partially silouhetted against the moon as he sat before it. So he could see it too...
Something was off about him, though. Usually, a relaxing (yet somewhat tense, for the whole hatred scenario had taken its toll on the way Yao saw things), laid-back atmosphere was present when one was in his company. This time, though, it was also quite... it was difficult to put into words.
"Kiku, aru?" questioned Yao, approaching with caution. He noticed that Kiku's shoulders occasionally began to shake violently; if he listened closely, he could hear the muffled sound of... sobs.
Kiku was crying?
"Kiku," breathed Yao. As his former brother turned around, he pulled him into a tight embrace.
"Shhh... it's okay..."
Kiku shook his head. "It's weak."
"No, no, no, it's not weak," cooed Yao, stroking Kiku's hair. "Even the bravest of soldiers cry sometimes, aru. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
"Even you, Yao-san?"
Yao gasped, his previously closed eyes now widened in shock, his smile abruptly changing. After all these years... Kiku still looked up to him?
"Even me, Kiku, aru," Yao reassured him softly, continuing to run his hand through Kiku's soft black hair.
The younger one's body began to vibrate again as he buried his head in Yao's shoulder, finally allowing years of concealed pain to be let loose as liquid crystals ran down his face.
"Kiku, I'm so sorry, aru," said Yao softly. "It was selfish of me to hate you, just to keep myself happy."
"No, Yao-san," choked Kiku. "It was my own fault..."
"Come, now, Kiku. How was it you?"
"It was me," muttered Kiku shakily. "My government just acted like nothing happened; I was too cowardly to come apoligize due to fear of rejection... it was my fault, Yao-sa-"
"Kiku," breathed Yao. "My poor brother... I wouldn't reject you for anything in the world."
Kiku gasped, and his body tensed. "N-nii-san?"
"What a cute nickname," the Chinese man sighed, resting his chin on Kiku's shoulder. "My little brother."
So I suppose, Yao pondered to himself as he rejoiced at finally having his little brother back in his arms, that this is what I've been waiting for all these years... I feel as if I could fly.
And it was true. Yao was overflowing with happiness. As was Kiku, though Yao doubted that he'd show it.
Just like the old days, huh? Well, if I could coax him to cry in front of me...
I suppose I could make him smile, aru.
[A/N: THE FEELS. I JUST LOST ALL OF THEM. ;3; I seriously love this, it was literally heaven to write~ I suppose even people like me, who love to write hardcore action scenes, need to release some fluff sometimes.
So, yes, I don't own the lyrics to Wake Me Up When September Ends, they belong to Green Day. I also do not own Hetalia, though I wish I did. Hidekazu Himuraya is one lucky bastard.]
[EDIT: Yes, I got rid of the song lyrics at the end, apparently you can get banned for having them in there. :1 Daaamn. Well, thanks to greygreenwolf for pointing that out to me. :D]