I don't own Legally Blonde or any of its characters etc, etc. Just a cute, fluffy thing I thought up while I wasn't feeling so well myself over the weekend and listening to the soundtrack. R&R if you feel like it. Thanks!
Elle Woods doesn't get sick.
Well of course she gets sick, she's human. But being a fairly young, healthy human, she didn't get sick often. Besides, Elle was always polished, composed, and glamorous- not adjectives used to describe someone all snotty and sweaty with a fever. So when her friends and family said, "Elle Woods doesn't get sick," what they really meant was "it seems impossible that someone that well put together could ever be such a mess."
But they were wrong, as Elle was forced to confront one cold, damp, overall gross February morning during her last year of law school. She'd gone to bed with a bit of a headache and woke up to a chill and a sore throat. She groaned and snuggled her chin into the soft, puffy quilt. Suddenly, she felt someone press a kiss to her cheek. Blinking open her bleary eyes, she looked up to see her boyfriend Emmett leaning over her.
"Good morning, Elle," he grinned. Elle smiled back as she pushed her self up and gave him a proper kiss.
"Morning, handsome," she mumbled back sleepily. "What time is it?"
"Eight," he replied. "Time to get up."
Elle groaned again and pulled the blanket up over her head. Laughing, Emmett pulled it back down and kissed her scrunched up nose. She couldn't help but giggle.
"I know," Emmett said. "Mornings suck. Winter sucks. Winter mornings especially suck."
"Sometimes I miss California," Elle sighed. She saw Emmett's eyebrows furrow a little bit, and kissed him again. "But then I remember that I would miss you way more than I miss the warm weather, so I can suck it up."
"Good to know," Emmett chuckled. "Seriously though, Elle, if you're going to make it to class on time, you need to get in the shower now."
"My class isn't until nine-thirty," she yawned.
"Yeah, but I've seen how long it take you to get ready."
Elle rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder playfully, but got out of bed. As she did so, she began to shiver and realized her whole body felt kind of sore.
"Ooh," she muttered, wrapping her arms around herself. "Can we turn the heat up? It's freezing in here."
"Sure thing, California girl," Emmett teased.
"Omigod, like, shut up," she replied in an over-exaggerated Valley Girl accent. Emmett gave her another quick peck before he went out to adjust the thermostat. Elle padded over to her wardrobe and peeked inside. After a moment of examining its contents, she selected a pair of jeans and a fuzzy pink sweater before she scuttled down the hall to the bathroom to jump into a warm shower. The hot water felt great while she was under it, but as she stepped out of the shower and started to get dressed, the chills and the achiness returned. And now her nose was running.
No, no, no, Elle thought. I'm not getting a cold. Nope. I'm perfectly fine.
She took an Advil for her headache, blow dried her hair, and joined Emmett in the kitchen. He was sitting at the kitchen table, absently eating cereal as he read the morning paper. Elle paused to admire how cute he looked. She tousled his hair and kissed the top of his head as she went to grab a blueberry muffin from the cupboard. As she sat down and started to eat, she suddenly realized that she wasn't feeling very hungry, and it hurt her throat to swallow. She sat with her head propped up by her hand as she picked at it.
"Elle, are you okay?" Emmett asked.
Elle's head snapped up. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." She gave him a small smile.
"You seem really out of it today," he said.
"It's just the weather," she assured him, trying to hide a small sniffle. "Rainy days always make me kind of sleepy."
Emmett nodded, but still seemed skeptical. Elle tried to sit up a little straighter and take more normal bites of her muffin as she began chattering energetically.
"I can't believe graduation is only three months away," she said. "I mean, it feels like just last week that I kicked out of class for not doing the assigned reading, and now…"
"Now you're graduating as the valedictorian of your class," Emmett grinned.
"Yeah," Elle smiled.
Emmett reached across the table and grabbed her hand.
"I'm so proud of how far you've come," he told her. "Honestly. I mean, when I first started tutoring you, I didn't even know if I could get you through the year, and you proved me so, so wrong. I have never been happier to be wrong in my whole life."
Elle's heart sped up and warmth spread through every inch of her body. I'm so proud of you. She couldn't even begin to tell him how much those words meant to her. Boys had given her plenty of compliments before. They had called her hot, sexy, beautiful, great in bed; but Emmett... Emmett called her brilliant. Emmett called her strong. He called her brave, and compassionate, and noble. Emmett said he was proud of her. Elle had never realized that that phrase could sound almost as good as "I love you."
Elle leaned forward and began to kiss him, but suddenly pulled away. Emmett watched in concerned confusion as she sat there panting, her eyelids fluttering and her mouth hanging slightly open. After a few seconds, she sneezed into her hands. Emmett suppressed a grin; even her sneezes were dainty and cute.
"Bless you," he said. "You okay?"
"Oh yeah, I'm fine!" Elle chirped slightly rubbing at her nose. "Just dust, or something."
"Sure you're not getting a cold?" Emmett asked.
"Positive," Elle smiled. "Oh, babe, you need to get going! You'll be late to work."
Emmett scarfed down the last few bites of his cereal and tossed the bowl into the sink. Elle went to the closet and pulled out his coat and held it out for him slip into. She pulled the zipper up and kissed him on the mouth.
"Bye Emmett," she murmured. "Have a good day."
"You too," he replied. He kissed her again. "I love you."
"I love you too," she smiled.
Elle handed Emmett his briefcase and watched him leave. After the door closed, she went back to the kitchen and finished her muffin. By the time she was done eating, it was about time for her to head out to class. It took Elle another solid five minutes to prepare herself to face the Massachusetts winter: wool socks, boots, her heavy winter coat, and matching pink cable-knit hat, gloves, and scarf. The first time Emmett had seen her in the ensemble, he'd almost doubled over laughing and told her she looked like a "giant pink marshmallow."
By the time Elle reached her class, the walk in the cold had made her nose run like a faucet and her body even sorer than before. As she plopped down into her seat, she realized that she was completely exhausted.
I'm fine, it's just that it's freezing cold out, she insisted to herself stubbornly, searching through her purse for tissues. As she was looking, she didn't notice Vivienne approaching her desk, but Vivienne instantly noticed something was off with Elle. The usually perky blonde was noticeably deflated from across the room. Her face- already pale to begin with- was white as a sheet, except for her little button nose, which was starting to turn her signature color. Her bright blue eyes seemed a little dulled, and Vivienne was shocked to see there were dark circles under them. When she said Elle's name, the other woman jumped.
"Oh, Viv, hi," Elle rushed. "Didn't see you there." She sniffled and had to rub gently at her nose a bit to keep it from dripping. "You wouldn't happen to have any tissues, would you?"
Vivienne produced a packet from her purse and handed it to Elle, who gratefully accepted it, and turned away to blow her nose. Vivienne raised her eyebrows. The thought of Elle- composed, ladylike Elle- blowing her nose seemed… well wrong. Watching it was even weirder. Elle finished with the tissue and looked up at Vivienne, sniffling.
"Thank you," Elle said. She winced when she heard her voice; it was noticeable when she spoke that her nose was stuffy. Vivienne heard it too.
"Elle, are you okay?" she asked. "You seem… not yourself."
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine," Elle said as perkily as possible. "I'm just still not used to winter yet."
"Mm-hm," Vivienne responded. She had a sneaking suspicion that Elle was under exaggerating a lot, but now was not the time to fight her about it. Vivienne took her seat beside her friend as class started.
By the time the class ended an hour and a half later, Elle was feeling much, much worse. The dull ache in her head had become throbbing, and every muscle in her body ached as she stood. It was a miracle she even got to her feet with how exhausted she felt. Luckily, after noticing how much Elle had been sniffling over the course of the class, Vivienne had given her the packet of tissues to keep. The second Elle was inside the library she yanked a tissue from the packet and sneezed into it several times. After holding in the urge to sneeze all class, it almost felt good to do it now. She blew her nose,- coughing a bit as it irritated the tickle in her throat,- tossed the tissue in the garbage, and found a quiet table in the back corner of the library to work on her paper.
For the next two hours, Elle managed to trudge her way through a few paragraphs of her paper despite the foggy feeling in her head. A few times she felt herself about doze off, but jerked herself back awake. RedBull wasn't even enough to give her an energy boost; all it succeeded in doing was make her headache worse and her stomach churn. At about one o'clock, she went to go grab lunch. As she stepped out of the library door, she gave a muffle cry of surprise. She'd been shivering the entire time she was in the library, and with the bitter wind blowing frozen rain into her face, the chill sliced through her like a knife.
Elle had to blink back hot tears as they welled up in her eyes. She felt sick, miserably sick. She wanted to be in bed. Hell, she was in no state to be anywhere but in bed. She briefly entertained the thought of skipping her next- and mercifully last- class, and going home, but a spark of stubbornness flared in her chest. She was Elle Woods. She could handle anything, especially a stupid cold.
There was a dining hall only a few buildings over, and Elle booked it over there as fast as her tired, achy body would go. As she slipped through the doors, she felt the stark change in temperature between the freezing outside air and the toasty cafeteria, but somehow the warmth didn't seem to reach her. Elle poked her head into the hall and glanced around. Luckily, nobody she knew- well, nobody she knew well enough that they might sit down and try to have a conversation- was there. After she grabbed her salad and a fist full of napkins (because she'd already used the entire package of tissues), she found a private corner of the dining hall and began to pick at her food. Swallowing was barely possible with her sore throat, and her stomach really wasn't up to food. She was only about halfway through the salad before she had to leave to get to class on time.
None of her close friends were in this class, which was good because Elle knew if any of them had taken one look at her they would have realized she was really, really unwell. Trying to be inconspicuous, she slipped into a seat in the back of the room. But as Elle Woods had become known for sitting front and center of every class, and her new seat turned a few heads. She heard whispers shoot through the crowd as her classmates noticed that perky, beautiful Elle looked like death warmed over. Her flushed cheeks went even redder and she sunk down in her seat, tears burning her eyes again.
You're being ridiculous, she scolded herself. Is this really something to get upset over? You're sick, big deal. Everyone gets sick. It's no big deal. Grow up Elle.
Elle took a deep breath and sighed. She knew she was being over emotional, because she always got a little over emotional when she wasn't feeling well. As her teacher walked in she straightened up, opened her laptop, and focused all of her energy on taking notes.
The period went by in a blur. She typed her notes in robot-mode, the words nothing but gray splashed against a white background. The professor's voice was a dull buzz, and it fuzzily occurred to her at some point to wonder how she was extracting any information from it. Everything was so hazy and muddled that it felt like she was dreaming. Elle didn't even have the energy to try to hold back from sneezing during this class, but she did try to keep them as quiet as possible. She was reduced to wiping her runny nose against her sleeve, too tired and sick to even care.
The class ended at some point, and Elle stood and walked out of the door and to her apartment. She didn't remember doing any of it though. Suddenly, she was standing in her apartment with Bruiser yapping at her heels, and she realized with a start she couldn't quite remember how she'd gotten there. After pinching herself to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, she thanked a higher power that she'd even mad it home safely.
Elle didn't even pay attention to her beloved Chihuahua. She stumbled into the bedroom, flung her clothes vaguely in the direction of her hamper, and put on the warmest pair of pajamas she owned, socks, a sweatshirt, and a bathrobe. Bruiser was feeling quite put out by this point, and barked angrily up at Elle. Her head snapped down at him, and, sighing, she knelt.
"Hi sweetie," she murmured, her voice hoarse and congested. "Did you miss-"
The rest of her sentence dissolved into the hacking cough she'd been developing all afternoon. From her crouched position, she lost her balance and fell over, leaning against the base of the bed. She let out a weak whimper. She didn't have the energy to stand up. Elle reached up and gripped the quilt, giving it a yank to pull down as much of it as she could, and wrapped it around her shoulders. Not even a minute later she was sound asleep.
An hour later, Emmett opened the door to the apartment, tossing his briefcase haphazardly to the side and hanging his coat up on the handle of the closet.
"Elle!" he called. "Elle, I'm home!"
There was no response. Emmett tried to remember if she had said anything about going to see Paulette or going out with Vivienne this afternoon. No, her coat was here, so she was. He glanced into the kitchen and the den, knocked on the bathroom door, and then finally went to the bedroom.
Emmett found her curled on the floor beside their bed with the quilt around her, shivering uncontrollably. Bruiser was lying beside her. When he saw Emmett, he got up and trotted over to him, yipping. Emmett knelt beside her. The pallor she'd had that morning had been replaced by a deep, fevered flush. Her forehead was creased and damp with sweat. Emmett reached our and laid his hand against it. She had a fever. She was breathing through her mouth, which meant she was probably congested. Sighing, Emmett scooped her up in his arms, placed her in the bed, and pulled the blanket up to her chin.
Elle's glassy blue eyes blinked open.
"Emmett?" she whispered. She sneezed weakly into her elbow and wiped her nose against her sleeve.
"Hi, sweetheart," he replied. "How are you feeling?"
Elle doubled up coughing. Once she was done she sniffled and looked up at Emmett with sad eyes that said, how do you think I'm feeling? Emmett gave her a sympathetic smile and stroked a sweaty lock of golden hair off her face.
"I'm going to get you the thermometer and some medicine," Emmett told her. Elle nodded. He returned with both a minute later, and Elle put the thermometer without complaining. A minute later, it beeped.
"A hundred and one point five," Emmett read. "Alright, that's not terrible, but it's not good either. You should take the medicine."
"I hate medicine," Elle whined, but she took the pill anyway. "Won't this cold just go away on it's own?"
I don't think it's a cold," Emmett told her. "I think you have the flu, Little Miss Woods Comma Elle."
"But I got my flu shot," Elle protested.
"Sometimes there's a strain that they don't get in the vaccine," Emmett shrugged.
Elle groaned and fell back against the pillows, grabbing one and pulling it over her face. She let it fall away and pouted up at Emmett.
"I hate the flu," she complained.
"I know," Emmett said, kissing her forehead. "Would you like some soup?"
Sniffling, Elle looked up at him.
"Chicken soup?" she asked hopefully.
"With goldfish crackers," Emmett added.
"Yes please," Elle smiled. Emmett kissed her again before he left.
Elle curled up into a ball against the pillows and snuggled the blankets more tightly around her shoulders. Elle Woods didn't get sick often. She didn't like getting sick. But sympathy and pampering from her wonderful, sweet boyfriend? That she was perfectly okay with.