It's another day. I wake up at noon and start getting ready. I want this day to end, I thought. But it barely even started. What I'm getting ready for? Nothing, just more thinking and wondering about him. He left me two years go, taking my heart and my happiness with him. I cried for months on end. I wouldn't talk to anyone, not even Katara. She and Aang would come by my house relentlessly, knocking, calling my name. I wouldn't answer them; I can't let them see my tears. They would only stop once it became too late, leaving at midnight.

Soon, I let them in. They consoled me, like I was their daughter. They stayed with me. I became stable with them, and I decided I was strong enough to face the world again on my own two feet. Life's been pretty quiet with him not around anymore. My life used to be just a fun-filled whirl when he was there, now I just feel like a puppet. I don't even know why he left. One night, he was by my side, the next, gone. Three months ago, Katara called me, telling me he's back. I avoided all the places he could be at all costs. If the phone rang, I didn't pick up, fearing it was him.

Katara went by my house and assured he's not calling me. She gave me his address, in case I want to come by. Like I'd ever want to anymore…

Every night, I'd think about Sokka, wondering if he's okay, if he misses me. Is he still afraid of the dark? Who is he eating and sleeping with now? Everyday…

[I'm giggling uncontrollably, grasping Sokka's hand. We're running around town, being our wild selves.

Sokka suddenly stops in his tracks, and looks at me with his blue eyes. "It's us against the world Toph, I'm not letting you go," he said, kissing me. I blushed, and we kept running…]

I think he confused true love with pain. He didn't hit me physically, but sometimes he'd just cut me down with his words and actions. Sometimes I'd run away from the memories and go out in the rain. It's so relaxing, feeling the drops on my skin. I can cry, walk around, and forget things for a while. Now I know why mother ran away…

I look at the only picture of us that I didn't throw out. We took it at the photo booth at the mall. We're just smiling at each other, our hands making a heart. Hugs and kisses, pictures and romances, things I wish I could do without…

I go by his house once in a while, in my car, or walking. But I never ring the doorbell. I only look at it, remember what we used to have, hear the happy sounds going on in that house, watch the bright lights. A baseball game blaring in the background, making me feel lonely, and when I go home, I just sit on my bed, hugging myself, wondering about the other life with him I could've-almost-had. Washing dishes, birthday wishes, watching baseball matches… I wish I didn't wonder about this so much.

[He looks at me with scorn, but I don't know why. Things have been falling apart lately, what did I do wrong? I can tell he's about to ask why am I being such a jerk, but I say, "It's no use asking, 'cause you're being a jerk too…"]

I keep spending my nights walking around blindly in the dark, counting the secrets I've kept locked away in my heart. How many nights did I wander around in dark, how many times did I kiss you in the dark?

He's back, and I still wonder about him, and his new life, once in a while, when I can't sleep. When I stop wondering, I can watch my memories of him depart, because guess what? I don't give a damn about him anymore. He lost his grip on me. He threw me down, and I got back up on my feet again.

Oh, but how I wonder….