A/N: My second fic! This time is Akuroku the idea of this story has been stuck in my head for a month. At first it wasn't an akuroku, but then I decided it would be cooler if it's akuroku haha. Note that I won't really call this as chapters, but parts (it fits better). The first part would be Axel's pov and the second part is Roxas' pov. Roxas will be telling the very same story from his pov. This part is long, yes (it is 7k+) but the second part won't be this long. And please understand that this story won't have a happy ending. Enjoy! -Anwy

Oblivion

His eyes were blue, almost as blue as the endless sea that they used to see together at the beach. The sparkles in his eyes that looked just like those stars above them brought a comfort to his soul and a smile had been put on his lips.

"I promise, we will always be together forever, Axel."

Axel. That was his name.

That was my name.

The warm bright sun welcomed me from my deep slumber. I opened my eyes, releasing my green acid gaze to the world. 'What a weird dream. It felt so real and familiar'. I lifted my body and sat, my eyes were still adapting at the bursting light. I was sitting in the middle of flower field that seemed to go on forever. The sweet scent wandered around my nose, embracing me from my half-awake state. Where I was, didn't matter. What mattered was... something I couldn't remember. I caught a glimpse of movement on my right side, so I turned my eyes to see it. There was a boy laying down about 4 foots away from me. He was the boy that I just saw from my dream. He was on his side, wearing light blue T-shirt and his eyes were open: he had been staring at me—I could only wonder if he did that the whole time I slept. He looked like an exact replica from my dream with his cobalt blue eyes, blond spiky hair, and even the familiarness that I felt, except something were missing: he was completely limbless. He hadn't had any limb at all—no hands, no legs. But, there was something else that bothered me: it was his eyes. His gaze was dark with an expression that I consider as misery... pain... grief. After a few seconds staring at him without saying a word, I decided to greet him.

"Hey," I gulped, "good morning." I knew it wasn't the best conversation starter for a stranger at this place. "Um, my name's Axel. What's yours?"

He just stared at me mutely. The blonde put his eyelids down and let out an inaudible exasperated sigh. Then it hit me.

"Sorry, are you mute?" I scratched my head sheepishly. Maybe it was a sensitive question for him, but staying shut wouldn't get me anywhere.

He made a little nod, and his expression changed. The pain was swept away from his face; now it looked impassive.

"Oh, sorry about that." I stopped a few seconds, searching for another thing to say, but failed. I shifted my body closer and helped him so he could sit. After I put him, he looked away to the end of the flower field that vanishes on the border of sky, as if trying to find something he couldn't get. He was longing.

"So... Have we met before?" I could see that he was tensed up at my question: his shoulders were stiff, eyes hadn't move, and pink lips were trembling. He blinked a few times, caging the tears that were starting to pile on his sea blue eyes. He gave a quick nod to me and then he looked down. I felt bad though; we once met but I couldn't remember him. Maybe he was hurt by my oblivious memory. The funny thing was: even though he didn't ring any bell, there was a feeling of fondness between us. Some kind of connection that had been there for a long time, I guess.

"I'm sorry I don't remember you," I took a breath and then continued, "but I guess we can start over, huh?" I tried to form a friendly smile, but failed miserably. I looked as nervous as ever and I didn't even know why.

The blonde pinned his gaze at me for a good 2 seconds and smiled at me. Then a rush of feelings I couldn't describe came to me.

-oOo-

"The name's Axel—A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?" The redhead said as he patted the blonde's head. The blonde looked so tiny in his new black coat.

"Ax...el." He muttered the name he just learned seconds ago.

"Yep." He made a sharp nod. "Now, let's start our mission before Boss kicked us out!" He grabbed the blonde's wrist and pulled him trough the door.

It was the blonde's first day he joined the organization, where all dirty works were done for some money. He hadn't had any other choice for living, so he reluctantly accepted the job. The new boy had worked hard in his first day and the redhead thought it would be a great idea to give some kind of reward. The sun dropped itself on the west side and a shade of dark blue started to rose on the upper sky. They were sitting on the top of clock tower.

"Hey. I know this is hard for you. Not every day you put out people's body and ran from the cops. But you've got no choice... just like me. I think you'll get used to it soon." He shrugged carelessly.

The blonde sighed, his blue eyes were closed but then he opened it after he felt something cold shoved into his hand.

"This is sea salt ice cream. To be honest I don't like this flavour on anything else beside this." He was licking his ice cream viciously, trying to cool down his body heat after their exhausting job.

The blue eyed boy hadn't spoken at all the whole time. He had been staring at his ice cream for a minute that it was starting to melt.

"Eat up, boy. It's melting. I don't spend my money on melted ice creams."

He started to eat his ice cream in a small bite, as if afraid it had been poisoned.

"It's salty... but sweet, too."

-oOo-

I snapped up from my thought. 'What was that?' I looked at the boy, again, he had been staring at me. Maybe I made weird faces when I was lost in my thought. 'Thought?' It sounded wrong. It felt more like memory. Yeah, memory! It was the first time we spent the day together. A smile had crept onto my lips.

"I remembered about you!" I was trying to hide a chuckle. "We were eating ice cream together!"

The boy was shocked at first with my sudden exclamation, but then he made a mute giggle. I was astonished by his smile. It was a sweet smile... but salty as well as a tear rolled down from his eyes trough his rosy cheek. My thumb wipe it away quickly. I felt so guilty, minding that the cause of that tear was my loss of memory. I remembered a moment with him but it was odd that I still couldn't recall his name.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I will try to remember more, alright?" Worry came to my voice, and it seemed the boy sensed it. He made an assuring nod and then smiled again, but that time without a tear even though I still caught a glimpse of sadness on his face.

I was still in my sitting position until I decided to stood up because of the sudden numbness that attacked my legs. 'I wonder if he felt numb—oh wait he didn't have any legs' I sighed. 'Why did I have to be so forgetful?' I stood up and he looked up at me who grew higher because of my long legs—he looked dwarfed because of it.

"C'mon, let's take a look around." I crouched down and took him in my arms as if carrying a baby. He was startled but then a light pink blush came across his cheek and I smiled at him. I thought it was a good idea to walk around by the fact I got bored staying at the same spot and there was nothing much we could do anyway.

We were walking around a few minutes only to find a waterfall behind a hill where we sat before. The waterfall ended on a pond with a comforting sound as the water clashed together. There were some trees near the pond that yielded some faint shadow under it. The air was cool and refreshing around here, which almost made me fell asleep. The atmosphere was calming—even though everywhere in that place was calming but this place was better—and I felt a breeze was caressing our hair in a gentle motion. I put the mute boy down on a flat harmless rock near the pond and then I sat next to him, putting my feet inside the clear water to feel its fluid movement.

-oOo-

It had been a month since the first time they had known each other. They had grown closer and closer in each day, and their boss decided to put them as a team at work as they did their work better together. So that they worked together everyday, it would be difficult not to be friend. Axel's sense of humor was also undoubtedly comforting, thus it made the blonde's life had a little spark of happiness.

"So, Axel, how long have you been working here?" The blonde interrogated him quietly.

"Since I was 16... which means 4 years. Quite long, huh?" He smirked at his own answer, either proud or laughing at his unfair life. The other man didn't say anything at his answer. "It's okay, though. Someday when I can live on my own, I will leave the organization."

The blonde quickly turned his face, facing Axel's side. "Really? You've been, like, saving up?"

Axel laughed and shrugged. "Kinda. But the living cost is quite high, don't ya think? Give me another year, I might be able to complete my plan." He had been saving his money to run his plan. After years of doing dirty work, he still had humanity clung in his heart. It had never been comfortable to drag around dead body—or killed it when they found out it was still alive—for the sake of living.

"Do you think... I can come too? See, I still have my savings and I think I can get more than enough if I stay another year here." He pleaded. His voice was filled with hope that the green eyed man had no heart to decline.

"Sure. I wouldn't mind a partner." At first he was hesitated remembering the fact that they just had known each other for a month and Axel hadn't been the type who trust people easily. But his new friend seemed like a good man. He tried to trust him and on the second thought it wasn't a bad idea to have a friend living with him. They could work it out together.

"Promise me, Axel. We will get out from here together." His voice was demanding and he smiled sadly, afraid if what Axel had just said was a mere lies to comfort him.

Axel were in silencefor a few seconds and finally said: "Yes, I promise, R—"

-oOo-

Just before the name was mentioned, I again snapped awake from my thoughts—memories—when a tickling sensation came onto my neck: the blonde were resting his head on it. Some sprouts of golden spikes were tickling.

"I made you a promise." I muttered slowly. It was futile to wait for a reply, so I continued. "I promised that we would live together, abandoning the organization."

I couldn't see the boy's face, but I could feel his head making a nodding movement. I rested my hand around his bony waist and pulled him closer to me. I could hear him exhaled and he snuggled his nose on my neck. Everything felt surprisingly familiar: the breath that ghosted on my skin, the golden hair strands that brushed lightly, and the warmth that his body shared with mine behind the thin silk T-shirt he had been wearing. It felt just right... it felt like home. I scowled remembering that the memory of his name still hadn't came back to me. It was weird to remember all these memories of yourself spending time with someone that you couldn't even remember his name. I was shifting uncomfortably with an annoyed sigh and the blonde lifted his head from my neck. I looked at him and he gestured me something. He gestured using his head, pointing to the place near the waterfall.

"What? There's something there?" I was confused: I didn't know what he wanted. It was difficult that the best communicating tool he had was only everything above his neck. He nodded eagerly, so I stood up and strolled to the area that he meant. He jerked his head lightly to his right and I tried to move a bit to the left—his right—and he nodded. Then he gestured again and I walked forward. He shook his head, pouting. 'Cute pout'. I smiled and then shifted my leg back few steps and he made a relieved nod. "Now what?" I was standing under a tree and my feet were splattered with water droplets because of the waterfall right next to me. He craned his neck, facing the sky. I had no idea what he was trying to convey, so I mimicked him; I looked above my head and there might be something he wanted: a fruit. It was a weird fruit, to be honest. The shape was star-like, its color was bright yellow and tiny green leaf stuck on its top. I reached the fruit with no difficulty and picked it with a quiet 'tick'. "Is this what you are looking for?" I showed him what I had just found. He grinned at me and I retorted to my place. "You're hungry, huh?" He didn't nod but his mouth was slightly ajar (which was surprisingly adorable). I plucked a little flesh of it and put it in his opened mouth. He chewed it slowly with his eyes closed. I could see that he wasn't tasting it: he was feeling it. He didn't eat it because he was hungry—he had another reason. I decided to try it on my own. Its flesh was crunchy and juicy—really juicy that the juice dripped down from my lips. Suddenly the boy leaned his body toward me, moving his face closer to mine and he licked the juice trail that went down my chin. His soft puffy lips met my skin and his tounge was tracing the juice trail—it was licking around but never touched my lips. I was bemused, my hands were awkwardly hung in the air, confused whether I should loop it around his body or just put it down on the ground. His body was leaned against mine as he didn't have any anchor to stand on his own. I was unsure with his gesture, so I softly pushed back his body in his sitting position. And another memory came back to my mind.

-oOo-

"Oomph." Axel was trying to move a limp lifeless body. The blonde was standing there, idle. "Take the bag over there, won't ya?"

The younger boy went out from his deep thought and a frown formed on his lips. He took the intended bag and spread it open so Axel could put the 'thing' inside it. "You know, Ax, until now I'm still not used with this job."

The red haired man put the body inside the bag recklessly that the head hit the ground with a faint 'thud'. "To be honest—" he grimaced, "—I'm still not used to it too. But sometimes I'd like to think I get used to it, so I won't think too much about this nasty stuff, ya know." He shrugged and secured the bag with few loops of a thick rope he had brought from their hideout.

His partner nodded. "Yeah, now that you say it, it makes sense." The blonde was staring at the dead-body-filled bag and a disgusted look came to his face. Even his nose had not gotten used to the foul smell after 5 month working with bodies. Correction: dead bodies.

"C'mon, lift the other side." Axel ordered the blonde as he grabbed the bag with his hands. The latter 'hmmph'ed and picked it up from the ground and they walked together towards their old black rusty car. Axel opened the humid baggage with his keys and put the body inside. They left the place as quick as possible and drove to a silent bridge nearby, where a vast river was flowing quietly under it, glimmered with the city light at dawn. Together they threw the heavy bag to the river and watched until it had completely drowned, disappearing from their sight. After they got back into the car, Axel drove to the nearest park; he didn't want to go back to the organization right after work. He was going to buy their favorite ice cream but realized the ice cream parlor wouldn't be open until morning, so they just stopped somewhere.

"Axel." The blonde was fond with that name. The name's owner flinched when it was called. "I... I brought this for us." He dug into his trouser and fished out a small plastic wrapped thing.

"What is that? Crack?" Axel barked a laugh.

"Of course not, asshole! You know I don't use it." He laughed too as he punched Axel with his free hand. He opened the plastic wrap and behind it a yellow star was seen. "This is papou fruit, Ax. If you share this fruit with the one who you care the most, your destiny will be interwined together, forever."

The redhead shivered from the thought, hands nervously tapping the driving wheel. 'Well, he could be possesive'. He made a nervous chuckle at his own thought. 'Still, I'm not sure to take that pawa... papa... papo—whatever the fruit's name to clasped our destiny together'. He had never been sure about his feelings with the blonde boy. After all, it had only been 5 months.

The boy offered him the yellow fruit that he had been hiding in his palm and Axel gently pushed his hand away. "No... I can't take it... yet." The blonde gave him a hurted look that Axel cursed inside for hurting him. He had no intention to hurt his partner, on the contrary, he wanted to make him happy. The blonde was a good friend for him, but the whole thought of being together forever was a bit... frightening.

"It's okay, Axel." He shut his mouth and put the fruit back into the plastic wrapper slowly. He secured it inside his trouser's pocket just like before.

Axel couldn't say anything comforting, so he just drove them back to their hideout. The trip had never been this quiet.

-oOo-

"Papou fruit." I whispered with a hoarse voice. I saw the blonde, who then had the same look from my memory—hurted. Suddenly I realized that we had just shared the fruit with each other. A bit anger rose inside my stomach trying to made its way out, but I held it back. Maybe I felt like I had been tricked to share papou fruit with him without knowing its meaning, but it wasn't like the blonde could tell me about that: he was mute after all. I made a nervous smile, feeling guilty because of my anger before but then confused as well. 'Yeah, I think was never sure with him. But... there are some other feelings that I can't tell toward him too.' I pondered with a small sigh. From all the memories that were coming back to me, I could tell that I felt something toward him. A little happiness everytime I saw him. He was my serendipity. But somehow I never managed to make my self sure about my feelings... I wished I could. I also wished I could ask him what he felt toward me. "Hey, together forever, huh?" Again, my smile failed to took those heart-breaking expression from his flawless face. "It's not that bad, I guess. You're all I have here." A faint smile climbed onto his lips and he let out a sigh.

Without realizing it, the sky had already been tinted with few shade of reds. The sky looked high and broad without any single cloud. I slowly enjoying the moment and decided to see the other place as well. I picked him up just like before and walked to the other side we hadn't checked. The ground was getting higher as I walked more toward the west and I couldn't see what was behind it, so I kept climbing. Eventually we reached the highest point of the hill which were filled with soft tall grass. I picked a spot with less grass and decided to stand for a while. I had never seen such a beautiful view like that: the sea was eternal and its calm water was glittering with the sunset's kiss. Everywhere I look, I could only see the sea, but it was truly splendid. I shifted the blonde and faced him toward the sea, hugging him on the waist so he wouldn't fall. "It's really amazing, isn't it. Feels like I could watch it forever." I rested my chin on his head and I could feel a little nod. I slid down to the ground, putting him on my lap, still facing the sea. It felt familiar to watch the sunset with him. Again, just like home. I could feel it, suffocating in my chest, struggling to get out: my feelings to him. I knew that I was in lovewith him, and maybe it had been the same until this very moment. Everything seemed lighter now, as I found my enlightenment. There was one thing that held me, though: I was scared. I had always been. All of my uncertainity was clearly shown in those memories. My memories.

-oOo-

"Happy birthday." The redhead smiled at him, handing the blonde a bouquet of roses. He was blushing and hadn't stopped smiling since then.

"Axel! Thank you so much," he paused for a breathe, "I never thought you could be this romantic." He chuckled and took the handful bouquet of red roses from the older's hand.

He laughed and then snorted. "I can be more romantic if I want." He winked jokingly and made a smirk that always give his partner a shiver. "And not only this!" He pointed his finger in front of the blonde's nose which made him flinched.

He winced his eyes slightly. "There's someting else?" A disbelief colored his words.

Axel presented another hand that he had been hiding on his back. A black colored box with blue cobalt ribbon tied on it showed up. The red haired man took off the ribbon and opened the box, showing a gold-azure blade to the blonde. "I know my idea wasn't really original because you gave me a blade too on my birthday. But I think it would be nifty to have a matching blade, huh?"

The blonde never looked happier than that. At that second he wished to hug Axel and kissed him and make out with him on the couch, but of course he held it had to. He knew Axel wouldn't like it—Axel had never showed any signal to him to be "more than friend". With a little disappointment that had been quickly washed away in less than a second with Axel's gift for him, he could only made his smile wider. "Thank you so much, Ax. I really love it." The blonde put down the rose bouquet and took the box from Axel's hand. He traced his fingers along the blade carefully, staring at each inch of it. It was beautiful, he thought. Axel was pleased by the blonde's reaction. He had been so sure that he had chose the right blade for him: the golden color that looked just like the boy's hair, and the azure blue that almost as blue as those beautiful calming eyes of him. "I will name it Oathkeeper." The blonde murmured, more like he said it only for himself.

"What's with you and your quirky habit of naming stuff?" Axel chuckled. It was true the blonde had been naming most of his belongings. He also named the blade that he gave to Axel as his birthday present: Oblivion. Axel never asked why he named it with Oblivion, but maybe it was because he had always been so oblivious and the blonde hoped that the blade would get rid of it. Well, it was his interpretation, anyway. He never intended to ask.

"Axel... thank you so much for everything. You've given me the best 8 months in my life." The blonde was full with smile, completely ignored the redhead's question."I love you, Ax."

He considered saying something like "I love you too", but he was a coward. 'Love? Do I love him?' He thought. He couldn't say anything else and it wasn't like he had been sure about his feeling. But he thought it was enough: the blonde's happiness had always been his own too, so he kept his mouth shut.

-oOo-

I stood on my feet and climbed down the hill, marching toward the sea, but this time I left the blonde back there sitting on the same spot. He had no look of disapproval so I thought it was okay to left him for a while. I had to clear my mind up and tried to remember more. It had been difficult to jolt those memories without knowing what triggered them. The taller grass brushed along my bare calf which made me frown because of the sensation: it was tickling. The grass was surprisingly thin and soft. I swear that I had never seen grass like that before. As I walked nearer and nearer to the line that separated water and land, the grass went shorter until everything was covered with clean white sand—I didn't know that sand could be this white, usually light beige. The sand was glittered along the coast, as if sprinkled by star dusts every night. This place couldn't get any weirder, but it was undoubtedly amazing. I took another step closer to the water and bury my feet inside the wet sand under the clear salted water. The waves were washing my feet in a swift motion, clashing each other and formed white bubbles near the shore. My wet feet were enjoying the feelings as the cool water went trough my toes. I crouched down and grab a handful warm sand and tried to memorize the sensation of them melting throughout my fingers. Usually I had never enjoy beaches. To be exact, I hated beaches: they were hot, filled with sweaty people, and the dirty sands with all those rubbish every here and there. But this beach was completely different: the air was cool and calming, the sand was white and clean, and also there was no one else but me and the blonde (that I left back there so I could say that I was alone here). Not to mention that the susnset was astonishing. The red sky had always been my favorite (well, red was my favorite color!), whereever it was, but that day's sunset was the best somehow. And I knew that I used to see sunset with the blonde because right now I could feel the familiar feeling filled every inch of my body just like a sponge drowned into water. Yes, there was a sunsetat that time.

-oOo-

The sun had been making its way to hide, thus the sky was red with some crows floating here and there. The sky was surprisingly clear but the atmosphere wasn't hot at all, quite the contrary, it had been cool. Axel and the blonde had been sitting on the top of clock tower, their favorite spot to hang out. Just like usual, they had been enjoying their sea salt ice cream slowly—almost seemed thoughtfully. It had been a year since their conversation about getting away from the organization. Of course Axel had kept his promise and all his savings were a little more than enough, and the blonde's own was helping as well. Now they could rent a house together, they had decided that would be their last day working for the organization. Axel untangled some piece of his red hair strands and glanced at his companion with his vivid green eyes.

"This is the last, isn't it?" He smiled at the blonde. He stared back at Axel; his intense blue eyes were glistening then his perfect lips formed a smile. Then a tear trailed from his eyes. He quickly wiped it and chuckled.

"It was a happy tear, by the way." The blonde said with a soft voice. Axel laughed and with a sincere smile, he caressed the blonde's cheek. "It's finally over, Ax. We don't have to put out dead bodies and hide from the cops anymore. I don't care if we couldn't get any better job, but I think we'd live in peace from now on." He looked away, his cheek left the redhead's palm empty.

"Yeah. I think so. No, no. I know so." Axel reassured with a nod. He had never been this happy before; he had been living under worry and concern for all this time. Now he had found a happiness in his miserable life: it was the blonde.

The cobalt blue eyed boy put his palm on Axel's own, lacing their fingers. Axel had never rejected such gestures from him. He didn't mind at all. But he knew there were something about these touches. It meant something more for the boy who sat next to him. Axel appreciated it, and to be honest, liked it. He felt comfortable around him. 'I guess I fell in love with blonde, huh?' he smirked. It had been difficult for him to fell in love with someone, but it seemed the blonde snitched his heart only in a year—which was short, frankly.

"Okay, I guess it's time to break the news to our boss." He tried to stand up, half crouching because his hand was still laced with his partner's. Or maybe he could refer him as 'crush' from now on: he was sure that he was in love with him. His crush stood up, following him with a grateful smile that was nicely put on his face.

-oOo-

I was zoned out while looking at the mesmerizing view of the sea, so did the blonde from his place. His eyes had never left the sea, not even a glance. I thought the memories had gotten sweeter and sweeter since then. I was relieved that it seemed my relationship with the blonde was okay. I walked back toward the blue eyes' owner and slipped behind him and then lifted him onto my lap. My hands which were looping on his waist were trying to find his hands, but then realized that he hadn't had them anymore, so I decided to hug him tighter instead. I crossed my arms in front of his chest, left hand went to his right shoulder and vice versa. I snuggled my nose on his hair that smelled just like... sea salt ice cream that we used to eat. I inhaled deeply, memorizing scent of him. He shifted closer to me and his shoulders relaxed inside my arms.

"I just remembered that we made it out the organization." I spoke tenderly, my lips brushing his hair. In a second, the relaxed blonde was gone: he tensed up and I didn't know why. I turned his body around, so he was facing me. His expression was impassive, holding back something I couldn't figure. I knew that all my memories hadn't returned, but at this point everything seemed alright. We left the organization together and I was in love with him. What could be wrong? He sighed and a sad smile appeared on his face. Of course I was disappointed—with my self. I thought I had remembered everything, but still, I knew some parts were still missing. I knew I couldn't force myself because these memories just came on they own, but I felt guilty. Also his name was still missing. I hated it: talking with him, knowing that he was the most important person in my life, the one who I truly cared for, but I couldn't even call him by his name.

"Look, I'm truly sorry that I still can't remember your name—" I knew it started with an 'R' but still "—please don't look so sad, okay? I will make it up for you, once I remember it and also the other memories too." His expression changed into one that I thought as compassionate. A pity, whether toward me or himself. "It's a promise." I added with a hopeless tone that made me look more pitiful that before.

He shook his head slowly with blue eyes hidden behind his eyelids. I could feel my head had been throbbing, trying to break my skull into pieces. 'I promised him but he shook his head?' I could only wonder quietly and my expression had never been this pathetic. Yes, I was so pathetic. I tried all I could to make him happy but failed. Then he mouthed something to me that I didn't understand: something like 'you', 'ue','ee','you','oise'. 'I can't even understand him, goddamnit', and it only saddened me. I felt so angry, furious, frustrated. "This is NOT FAIR!" I groaned with frustation, releasing my grip from the blonde's body.I knew that he was special for me and I knew that he loved me. But it seemed like I couldn't return his feeling, and I felt bad for it. I couldn't make him happy at all. My breath became quick as I squinted my eyes, trying not to cry because I knew that I had no right to say everything was not fair and cried my eyes out: it had been more than "not fair" to the blonde.

We both sat in silence, didn't dare to look at each other's eyes. The sun had fully set, and now the pale moon's turn to conquer the darkness surrounding it. The vast sky was filled with droplets of white dots that were flickering relentlessly, preserving its beauty up there. Staring at them, I could only hope that one of them would took me back to the past and made it up for him. Only a hope.

I rested my back on the soft bed of grass field, covering my eyes, hoping that he wouldn't see my face. Surely all this emotions train wreck had gotten me mentally tired because on the next second my green acid eyes were already asleep, resting my mind from all these thoughts.

-oOo-

It was a beautiful night, indeed. The sky was clear enough to show its stars which had been hiding their lights for a few nights lately. Some spikes of red hair and blond hair could be seen easily as they were sitting next to each other at the park bench.

"Hey, Ax. Are you afraid?" The blonde whispered hesitantly.

"Afraid of what?" Axel was gazing at the stars, smiling toward them as if thanking them for being there tonight, the night when his and the blonde's life changed. They just quitted the organization this afternoon, and now they were on the park enjoying their first hours of freedom. They had rented a house near the beach and what they had to do was just stay there. But before starting over their lifes, they had decided to enjoy some moment in the park.

"I don't know. Change, perhaps. A lot of things have changed in my life—drastically." He muttered in his breath that formed into white cloud when released from his lips. He gripped the redhead's hand carefully, didn't want to dig his nails on it.

"Maybe I am. But I can get over it because you're with me." Axel closed his eyes and felt his words sunk deeply into his heart, embracing it and made it warm. He hoped the blonde felt the same too.

They both went into silence; simply enjoying their surrounding: the faint 'whoo's shouted by owls, the sound of leaves brushing because of the wind, the glimmering light of cityscape, and also the presence of each other.

The blue eyed boy turned his face to Axel, staring into his soul and said: "I promise, we will always be together forever, Axel."

Axel had never gotten tired with the blonde saying his name from those kissable lips of him. It was only him—his crush—that could made his body overflowing with joy only with the sound of his name in his voice. Thinking about his crush that were sitting next to him, a slight of worry came to him: he never had the courage to tell him about how he felt to the blonde. He hadn't been the type who easily confess his feeling. Sure he looked full with pride, with that smirk of him and mischevious sparks in his eyes, but when it came about love, he was a kitten which was going to be bathed in a cold water.

"Um, I will go buy some ice cream for us—if you don't mind eating one at night, of course." The blonde blurted out suddenly, inclined his head, waiting for a nod from the redhead. Axel gave him a nod and watched his crush marching off to the lightless road. Suddenly all he could feel was hollowness: a pair of blinding car light went quickly to the blonde in unexpected ferocity, hitting him with a jarring sound. A truck had hit his crush in no less than 2 seconds and the truck went away quickly. He ran to the place where the blonde had stood only to find a body lying flat on the ground. Red, white, gold, blue—the only colors he could see that night. Red of splattered blood that once flew trough his crush's blushing cheeks and now flowing to wet the road, white of shattered bones and slightly cracked skull, gold of his beloved crush's hair that he used to caress, and blue of those those eyes he wouldn't ever forget.

"ROXAS!" He screamed painfully, trying to find the remainings of life from the body in front of him. He swear he felt his heart stopped its pace—even though the fact was it had been beating faster—as a big hole formed on his newly almost-perfect life. He almost vomitted but nothing came out as an imaginary black hole formed inside his body and sucked his insides. "No, no, this can't be." His green eyes widened, shocked with the view and moreover from disbelief that his life was almost complete. His gasped for air that didn't fill his lung at all and the sound of footsteps and ambulance came to his ears, running toward him to see what had just happened. His lungs drowned with sorrow that he wanted to spat out—but he couldn't. He could only stare at a pair of lifeless blue orbs that once pinned into his eyes lovingly. A suffocating despair rising from his heart, made him yelp helplessly, screming until his voice strained. He could only make the blonde's name through his throat, over and over. There was nothing else he wanted but to rip his chest and pulled the hollowness out, but again, he couldn't. His chest was burning with anger and he could only hope someone would shot him on the chest to stop it—or maybe on his head to stop everything. Nothing mattered anymore. He couldn't live without Roxas. He couldn't bear it: it was too painful. He dropped on his knees sharply, taking Roxas' face on his trembling palm and wiped away some splatter of dark crimson liquid with his slender fingers only to left red trail on the blonde's cheek. "Roxas": The only word he knew that moment, and he kept shouting it. Roxas' last words was whispered repeatedly into his ears, endlessly echoed. He regretted that he had never told Roxas how much he loved him, how much he meant for him. And he was still a coward until then—he was afraid to live without Roxas.

Axel was there, at his favorite time of the day, on his favorite place to hang out. At their favorite time of the day, on their favorite place to hang out. A swirl of breeze caressed his crimson hair as the sun waving goodbye to him, leaving a reddish sky behind it. Axel took Oblivion and Oathkeeper from a box he had been holding for a week—he never let them go. The green on his eyes had become dull, and dark circles had made their home under his eyes. His red hair had stuck to his forehead and temple, looking messier than usual. His cheek bones stand out more and also his slender body had become more bony. He exhaled a deep breath and then put Oblivion and Oathkeeper down next to each other. He took a step back, leaving no space between his feet and the edge of clock tower. He knew that he had been a coward, but at that moment, he wasn't. He was brave, at least to took his own life.

"Roxas." He muttered the name for the last time of his life.

-oOo-

I jerked my body up in a sitting position. It was still dark—still night, I was sure. Now I had remembered everything: how our lifes ended. I panted weakly as the hollow feeling felt so real under my skin. Biting my lip, I tried to blow those unpleasant touch from my mind. I was dead... but it wasn't important. I quickly turned my body to see Roxas—now I remembered his name—to told him that I had remembered everything. Every. Single. Thing. I knew it was bad: I had never actually told him that I loved him. But now I could. Now I could tell him about everything he wanted to know. Now I could actually make him happy and we could be happy. Now we were "together forever". But my excitement was a bit turned off when I saw Roxas sleeping peacefully. His breath was rhythmic and relaxed and his long lashes curtained his vivid blue eyes. Of course I preferred to let him sleep. I still had tomorrow to tell him anyway. Good night,

"Roxas."

A/N: That's pretty much how the story ends. Again, the second part will be the same story but from Roxas' pov. Look forward to it! And if you have some minutes to spare, please do leave a review it would make me soooo happy. Thanks for reading! See you at the next part.