Title: Bleed Like Me
Inspiration: Bleed Like Me by Trapt
Pairing: Sasuke and Sakura
Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the characters, or the anime, or anything that I could possibly make a profit off of.
Summary: Sakura knew how to pick her poison well.
...
She was so young.
Her best friend was beautiful and blond and bold and everything that Sakura knew she would never be. Yet she made a point of spending everyday with her.
She challenged her to friendly games, knowing that she would never win them.
She trained with her after class, throwing every single ninja star she had at her friend, knowing that the metal would never make contact with skin other than her own.
And when she announced her infatuation with a certain gloomy, dark haired classmate, she knew that her beautiful, blond, bold friend would be angry with her and leave the friendship for dead.
Yet Sakura smiled.
...
She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes under the gaze of his cold glare. She imagined that she was the only one that he looked at like that.
He looked at her with so much hatred in that stare. She could feel little pieces of her heart chipping away with every glare, every frown, every plain look of utter apathy.
And just as quickly as they'd crumbled, they would repair themselves and mend back into place.
Because she knew that hatred and love were so similar to each other.
The raw emotion written on such a perfect face that he so desperately tried to hide always showed through when he looked at her that way.
Every cold word he spoke to her was still more attention than he gave to anybody else.
Under the harsh looks and words and actions, she saw what they truly were. She saw that he had to think about her in order to respond to her in such a way. He had to spend enough time with her to develop his opinion of her.
So she would continue to smile and prod and annoy him. And he would continue to berate and scold and hate her. And she would love every minute of it.
…
She smiled at the whiskered boy, though the emotion didn't quite reach her eyes.
He was so nice to her. He cared about her. He loved her so much, with every fiber of his being. He who had all the reason in the world to hate everyone. To hate the cruel world.
Yet she told him no, over and over again.
And she watched his heart break, over and over again.
And it broke her heart to see his heart breaking, but still she smiled, because she knew how easy it was.
How easy it was to feel shattered.
To be shattered.
And to glue all of the pieces back together, just so that it will hurt even worse the next time that you break.
…
She woke up on that bench after he left her, finding that she wished that she hadn't woken at all.
This pain was far too real.
He insulted her like always, but this time he was smiling. He never smiled at her. Then he thanked her, even when he had never said a kind thing to her before.
And then he left her.
She reached her hand back and could feel the small bump at the base of her skull. Evidence of her sorrow. Her cold skin, a result from spending a night out in the cool air, was only further proof.
Her heart wasn't repairing itself, not this time. She knew it wouldn't, but that was okay.
He finally gave her something.
She smiled as she sobbed, knowing that these tears would never stop, just as her love would never die.
And in that moment, she resolved to find him, knowing that her quest would one day kill her.
…
Naruto risked his life trying to bring Sasuke home to Sakura.
She took pity on him and smiled when he returned, empty handed and broken. But he didn't smile back this time. He knew that it was only a lie, that she wasn't okay.
He said, "Sakura...I'm sorry."
She turned to leave, replying, "I know." She knew he was, honestly and truly. It was simply a matter of her not caring anymore.
When he left, she knew that he would not return with Sasuke. Her bag was already packed, ready to go after him on her own.
The next day, Naruto announced his departure. He was going to train, to become a stronger person for her and for Sasuke.
And so, she lost both of her boys. But still, she smiled.
…
She spent days, weeks, years training her body and her mind.
She threw herself into her work, never stopping for a break. She had become somewhat of a medical prodigy. She figured that she might as well be the best at healing others when she always failed at healing herself.
Sakura was all smiles and compliments when Naruto returned, actually impressed at his new-found maturity.
His affection for her never deterred, but neither did her lack of affection towards him.
His strive towards bringing Sasuke home was also undeterred.
And seeing Sasuke nearly two years after his departure, Sakura knew that this quest would kill them both.
…
It was one horror scene after another.
So many people were dying.
Her home was destroyed.
Her closest comrade was being hunted for the massive beast inside of him.
The love of her life was a wanted, deadly fugitive.
There was no possible way for her heart to rip into anymore shreds.
But it did.
There was no possible way for her to fall into a deeper state of depression.
But she did.
There was no possible reason for her to be happy.
But she was.
…
Sakura was conflicted.
She loved and hated Sasuke with all of her being. But that did not trouble her. No.
She knew how similar love and hatred were to one another. Sasuke was a living example of this.
Her trouble was that she harbored the powerful urge to end his life.
If she did, then she would have to live knowing that the one man that she had always loved would be gone from her forever. And it would be her own fault.
If she didn't, then he would kill Naruto. Kill her. Kill anyone that had some relation to his past life.
No, she had no trouble accepting her own demise.
She just couldn't accept the downfall of others.
…
The people of Konoha rejoiced, but it was not sincere.
There was a war going on.
Every nation was allied together, the village was being repaired, and Naruto was somewhere distant and safe.
But everyone was on edge, including her.
She pulled off her blood stained gloves, letting them drop to the floor, staining the tile.
She slid down the wall, sitting and inhaling the rusty smell of the blood on her coat.
It saddened her that it was the scent that was most familiar to her.
She closed her eyes against the smell, the images of battered bodies rolling by on stretchers, the sounds of screams from the fatally wounded.
Every happy memory of her life, of her teammates flashed before her.
Every pleasant illusion that she had made up for herself passed over her eyelids.
Her heart wasn't breaking anymore.
There was finally nothing left to shatter.
Sakura was surprised that she still had a beating heart at all with how utterly numb she felt.
It didn't matter that her world was at war.
It didn't matter that Sasuke had tried to kill her and so many others.
It didn't matter that Naruto was fully prepared to die in his quest.
It didn't matter that her body was sore and worn down from non-stop hours of healing, mending, and repairing the barely-living.
No, nothing mattered anymore.
It didn't matter what outcome there would be. No matter what, she was going to lose.
Lose something or someone. It didn't matter which.
Sakura never minded the pain that she caused herself.
The pain of rejection and a broken heart from Sasuke.
The pain of losing and hurting Naruto.
The pain she inflicted on herself in her training and mental berating.
No, this emptiness that she felt now is what truly broke her beyond repair.
Because as far as she was concerned, she would rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
…
I actually wasn't in a dark place or depressed or anything when I wrote this. It was just an idea and an experiment since I've never really written anything angsty.