AU Canon up to 6th Year. Harry wants absolutely nothing to do with Dumbledore. He wants to be free, to be able to anything he wants, to choose what to do with his life

...

What a start to term, five bruises and what seems to feel like a broken finger; All thanks to the Dursleys. They're a bunch of despicable sadistic bastards, but thank Merlin I read up on magical healing otherwise Hermione and Ron would go mental if they found out.

I don't mind though, I'm used to it. I was beat up regularly after the fat boys found out Sirius had died— no, murdered.

'Murdered murdered murdered'

There was no one to blame but myself for falling for Voldemort's trick, otherwise Sirius would be here right now, but I realise that Dumbledore had been planning and my life was one big game of chess to him.

Placing me with the Dursleys, probably my place in gryiffindor and me fighting Voldemort but now it's in my terms.

I'm in control now; I choose what I learn, who I befriend, who I love, who I hate and my enemies, but most of all who I fight and what I do with my life.

I silently sighed as I peered down at my bruise, I'll have to fix myself up on the train, I will have time to do it in the compartment. Hopefully the Weasley's are later than usual, I told them I was busy these holidays, so I don't know if they want to see me that badly, but I need more time.

It took me two weeks to get out of my angsty phase. Right now, I need to learn more, get stronger and train at Hogwarts. It's the only way to get better.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when a sudden voice boomed and a sharp pain emitted from my cheek, "...Boy, freak! Get your things and get out of my car! Are you listening?" The fat cunt yelled, his spit flying everywhere, including my face.

I clenched my hands to prevents self from wiping his acidic saliva off of me, but that would have probably made matters worse. Reluctantly I replied, "Yes uncle Vernon, sorry uncle Vernon, thank you for bringing me uncle Vernon."

His face turned into a scowl and I knew what he wanted me to do next.

'Fat cunt.'

"Sorry for the last six weeks uncle, aunt and you too Dudley." I added, my eyes trying not to make any contact with theirs, they'd just be filled with malice anyway.

I hate being nice to this abusive lot, the fat fuck and baby whale, along with this bitch who's apparently my mother's sister.

Vernon sneered, his bushy (fucked up) moustache raised as he did so, "Good boy, did those manners get beaten into you good enough, freak?" He scowled, eyeing me like some goblin shit, "Yes uncle Vernon." I replied, monotonously.

'Kill him kill him kill him'

I know the spell, I could do it– I would do it. What would the ministry do, would I go to Azkaban? Of course I would...

I hastily got out of the car and I took my things from the trunk of the vehicle, taking gentle care with Hedwig, and putting my trunk and cage on a trolley.

Lastly, I turned to the Dursleys, "Goodbye, I'll see you in July. I appreciate everything you do for me, I won't be staying much longer uncle Vernon, it's just the law for a while." I spoke, my voice straining as I lied.

What hospitality has he shown me? What care has he ever given me?

'Nothing but pain...'

The beatings? The starvation? Yeah, wonderful hospitality, it just shows how much you care.

I sighed once more after the Dursleys left, I silently pushed my trolley forwards into platform 9 1/3 and stared emotionless at the red steam train.

I glanced down at my black and purple wrist, oh right, I need that fixed.

I quickly choose a compartment and put my trunk on the rack along with Hedwig. I pull my wand out, and remember the spell to heal minor injuries."Episky" I feel the burning sensation, that means it worked, the bruises have almost faded. No one will know I cast the spell with all these witches and wizards around.

I sit down and take a deep breath, I remember when Sirius gave Ron Pig, that bloody owl, about two years ago. All the times he put himself in danger and survived, he was indestructible, he couldn't die. But he did. Murdered by his mental cousin Bellatrix. Led to his slaughter by my stupidity.

"Collaportus." I cast at the compartment door. That should lock it from most people. I pull the blind down, cast a silencing charm at the wall to the left of the window facing the station. I'm ready now. I just have to wait for the train to start moving. That bitch, Mafalda Hopkirk at the ministry won't be able to pick me out of all these students waiting to use magic, on a moving train. There are too many of us.

I hear the train groan, the engine speeds up, the train rattle. We've set off. I wait until I can't see the station and all I can see are fields. Which wasn't long. I take a deep breath, stand up, face the silenced wall, bring my arm back and punch. Hard. Again and again I do this. Until my knuckles split and bleed. Then I start punching with my left hand, it takes a little longer for them to bleed. It's my weaker arm after all.

I cancel the charm after I swiftly smack my head against the compartment wall a few times. Now it's time for the big game, I think of what I want to happen. A cut, deep in my arm, until it bleeds, and it bleeds quite a lot, the pain I have come to think of as a comfort, and I raise my wand, and with the picture in mind I cast the spell. "Lacero." An odd spell used by Aurors, Latin for cut. Well that's what the book said, but why would an Auror want to cut someone I don't know.

I watch as the image I thought of becomes reality. The pain springs to mind, like the tears to my eyes. But I don't cry. I do it again. And again. After that I stop. That's all for today. I feel better. And anyway Ron and Hermione will be looking for me. I pull out a strip of fabric and tie it around my arm. And put a jacket on, to cover my arms. I sharply tug the blind down, it shoots back to the top. I think of the spell Hermione taught me, and the door unlocking. "Alohamora." I sit back down and take a deep breath again. Now all I have to do is wait. They shouldn't be long now.