SMALLTALK
Nazz couldn't help but smile.
She was sitting on the park bench, staring at the ducks swimming in the pond, amused. She loved coming here after school, to recharge her batteries and relax after a stressful day. The weather was lovely, not too cold but not to hot as well, and her bench was covered by a shade from a nearby oak. She leaned her head back a bit and closed her eyes, letting herself drift away a bit.
Her meditation was interrupted by someone jumping onto the bench from behind and saying:
"Hey, blondie!"
Before the girl could process it, Marie Kanker was already sitting next to her, with her arm around Nazz's shoulder.
"'Scuse me, what was your name again?"
"Nazz." The blonde sighed. "Do you want to berate me for talking to Double D, oh, excuse me," she put up her fingers to make air quotes, "'stealin' your boyfriend' again?"
"No, no, no!" the blue-haired girl raised her free hand a bit. "I just need..." she paused for a moment, mincing the words in her mouth. "I need your help."
The blonde girl tilted her head slightly. "With what?"
"Y'see," Marie explained, "I want to... get a bit closer to Double D without freakin' him out. An' I have no clue how to do it. Any ideas?"
"Well," Nazz replied uneasily, "I don't know if I can help. I can't just snap my fingers and make him want to spend time with you."
"Aw c'mon, can you at least gimme some tips?" the blue-haired girl insisted.
The blonde rolled her eyes. "Dude, Double D is a forgiving fellow, I think walking to him and trying to strike a normal conversation will work just fine."
"Really?" the girl cheered up.
"Yes. Try to find a topic that you both know something about, and then it'll go on its own..." she paused, as she noticed something with a corner of her eyes. "Speak of the devil." She pointed at the boy himself, sitting four benches away, too absorbed with a calculus book to notice either of the girls.
The tomboy took a deep breath and stood up. "Alright, casual conversation, something in common. Easy as pie."
The blonde followed her. "I'll keep you company." Noticing Marie scowl, she added, "I'm Double D's friend, he will be a bit more relaxed with me around. Besides, he knows I'm taken."
"You are? Good to know." The blue-haired girl cracked her fingers. "Let's do this."
They both walked to the bench Edd was sitting on. Marie sat next to him, while Nazz placed herself on the edge, behind her.
"Double D?" The blue-haired girl piped up.
The boy looked up and recoiled slightly, noticing who was talking to him. Then, he noticed the other girl mouthing to him "It's okay, relax." from behind her and calmed down a bit.
"H-h-hello Marie."
"Hi sw- Double D, I just wanna talk to you a bit."
"Oh." the boy muttered, raising an eyebrow.
A short pause followed, as Marie tried to find a good topic, with Edd staring at her, afraid but curious.
A topic we both know something about, she though. What are we both doing... What does everybody do in their free time...
"You watched any good porn lately?"
The boy's eyes widened in shock, while Nazz's jaw dropped.
"There's been that recent flick, Pizza Takeout Obscenity, and there was that big-breasted actress, I've forgotten her name..."
"Excuse me," the boy backed away further, "but I've forgotten I must iron my coverlets. Salutations!" he jolted away, almost breaking his life record, darting out of the park.
Marie watched the boy run away, then, after he disappeared from her sight, turned to Nazz. The blonde had hid her face in her hands.
"I've messed up."
"You've messed up."
May was probably the calmest of the Kanker sisters.
"You fucking idiots!"
With one single exception.
"I was shouting that there's a Spy behind you, you mental cases, you just had to turn around and blast him in the fucking face with your cock extensions! But no, anything more complicated that shooting a retarded Sniper glued to his motherfucking scope is too much for your pea-sized brain to handle, and I had to kill him with a bonesaw after he assraped you to death! A fucking bonesaw!"
Hoping for some sort of a ceasefire, the Eds had bought the girls a computer for Christmas. It wasn't anything top-shelf, but just enough to satisfy the needs of an everyday user. Lee rarely approached the PC, Marie used it to download some yaoi pics and stories, and May was playing multiplayer games on it.
"And when I give you an Ubercharge, eight second of cock-mangling invincibility, and you have eight sticky bombs in the magazine, you go forward and blast that motherfucking sentry gun into small metal bits, that you later jam up the enemies' asses! YOU DON'T RETREAT LIKE A LIMP DICK THAT YOU ARE!"
The girls quickly noticed that the skill of May's teammates was inversely proportional to the volume of her voice. Marie covered her ears with a pillow, while Lee adjusted the earplugs and continued reading one of the few of her sister's books that didn't contain naked males.
"I'm gonna find ya! I'm gonna find ya by the fuckin' IP, break into your house, tie you to a bed and bite your fucking half-inch dick off! Then I'll shove it into your mouth so deep you're gonna need a surgeon to remove it, you flaccid sons of bitches!"
The sound of a thrown headset followed. Lee put down the book and looked at her blonde sister stepping out of the room, pissed.
"Remind me," the redhead pulled out a single earplug, noticing that the storm was over, "why do you play with other people?"
She shrugged. "Because it's fun, when you ain't playing with brain-dead cocksucking-"
"Yeah, yeah, I get it." she returned to reading. "And the scotch tape is in the drawer if you broke the headset again."