Postcards from the Edge of the Galaxy

by Eleneri

Part of the Rose Shepard series: A place for all my Mass Effect trilogy drabbles, none of which are in any particular order. As always, Bioware owns all; no infringement intended. It's their own fault they write such darn good characters that I'm compelled to write about them. Very likely, there will be romance of some sort in there somewhere, because well... I'm writing it.

1. Spiritual

Set sometime during Mass Effect 3, after Thane Krios' death.

SPIRITUAL

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Sometimes, when he looks at her, Kaidan doesn't really see Shepard. Not her body, at any rate. There are times, dealing with politicians and brass, but especially when she's in the field and on the front lines, when he thinks she's composed entirely of determination; sheer, titanic force of will focused so tightly that it crystallizes into flesh.

There are times when he wonders if she's actually human, that maybe Thane Krios was right when he called her siha. Warrior angel. It fits her. She does not seem to doubt. She does not seem to acknowledge the presence of anything so pedestrian as obstacles, whether they take the form of pirates, Reapers, or the entrenched idiocy of political leaders. Given an insane idea that is ninety-nine percent guaranteed not to work, Shepard focuses on the one percent chance that it will work, and then makes it happen.

Even after all these years, he's still not sure how she does it. And he's definitely not sure which one of them is crazier - her for consistently pulling off the impossible, or him for willingly following her while she does it.

But Kaidan knows exactly why he always follows. He can't not follow her. He played that card once before, over Alchera, and they both paid for it in years of isolation and pain. Since the Reapers mauled Earth, he follows her because he knows, with a terrible clarity, the truth behind the siha; knows that determination and courage made flesh is still only flesh, and that Shepard, Savior of the Citadel, Savior of Elysium and Eden Prime, first human Spectre, legendary N7 operative, is still only a deeply burdened, very human woman during the deep watches of the night.

He will always fight beside the siha. He will always follow Shepard as she skates the slipface of impossible and improbable and wrenches results into being out of sheer bloody-minded determination to do what is right. But it is the woman, terribly alone during the slow, deep silences, that it's his duty to protect.

He's never told Shepard, but Kaidan considers himself her siha.

He likes to think Thane, wherever he is beyond the sea, would approve.