Author's Note: This fanfic is the result of ultimate boredom. Just a compilation of 100 things that most likely will NOT happen in the next book in the Vampire Kisses series, Cryptic Cravings. I know most of these are ridiculous/stupid/not worth your time, blah blah…but I felt like writing this, so deal with it. I do not own Vampire Kisses, Ellen Schreiber does, please read and review! Lots of love, Mrs. Alexander Sterling.
1. Jagger builds a "Big Bears" club in Dullsville.
2. Raven "wets the coffin" so to speak.
3. Trevor gets fat.
4. Raven has an affair with Jameson…
5. Alexander gets his nipples pierced.
6. Matt knocks up Aunt Libby.
7. Jameson and Ruby are caught having sex in the Mercedes.
8. Trevor wears combat boots.
9. Raven catches Alexander shaving his legs.
10. Alexander takes a whiz on Becky's truck.
11. Raven and Alexander go surfing.
12. Raven gets eaten by a shark, leaving nothing but her foot, which Alexander cherishes for all of eternity.
13. Raven becomes a cast member for the show Jersey Shore.
14. Sebastian dies, so Alexander has his dead carcass stuffed.
15. Nightmare gets shaved bald.
16. Billy hits puberty, and attempts sex with the neighbor's dog.
17. Raven's parents force her to go on the show Parental Control.
18. Jagger, Matt and Trevor have a gay threesome.
19. Raven wears pink nail polish.
20. Alexander persuades Raven to get breast implants.
Read and review, y'all. XD