To Lose Someone

By: Virulent Enmity

Author's Rambles: THIS FIC HAS BEEN EDITED! This story will be in Squall's POV. I wrote this story because my family is in the same position. What was lost was very dear to our hearts and will be terribly missed. This is dedicated to anyone else who has lost something precious at one time or another.

Even though this will become a little emotional, I hope you will be able to deal with it and understand what Squall is going through. So with that being said, read on!

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story. They belong to Square-Enix.

Chapter 1 - The News

I was sitting in the cafeteria, poking a half-eaten hot dog with a plastic fork. I was mind-numbingly bored, and the fact that I was alone didn't help. All I wanted was for this day to be over. Odd, today has been going like any other day, but something just doesn't feel right…

I got up from the chair and decided to head up to my office. I had paperwork up-the-ass to do, so I might as well pass my time with that. Besides, everyone else was out doing something for Cid, so I didn't have anyone to hang around with.

Before I realized it, I was already on the elevator going up to the third floor. I walked down the hall with my hands in my pockets, still pondering why my intuition had been telling me that something bad is bound to happen today. I just can't ignore it, and I'd been thinking about it all day.

I arrived at my office shortly and with a heavy sigh, I turned the cold metal doorknob. I had been hoping the huge stack of papers had somehow magically disappeared. Unfortunately for me, things never turn out that way. I looked over towards the large picture window and caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall right above it.

'5:30. Great! Here it is, a nice Friday evening and where am I? Stuck in a hot-ass office doing paperwork! Bullshit!' My mind practically shouted.

I was already pissed that I had been alone all day. Sure, I used to like being alone, but now I'm starting to enjoy people's company, thanks t Rin's constant nagging - Hyne, that didn't come out right. I finally learned how to have a good time, I guess. To enjoy things. My friends still say that I act a little isolated sometimes, but they can tell I like having them around. It helps me to relax; being with them. Something I should be doing right now, but…I was probably going to be doing these papers all night.

'I should get started then.'

I was about to sit down when an announcement was made, and it was Cid who spoke. I think he called for me...

"Squall, please report to my office immediately."

'Oh no…please don't pile anymore work on me. Hyne, have mercy! I have enough on my plate as is!' I thought, but something about the way he called me meant that it was something very important. There was a type of seriousness in his voice that could easily be detected.

I went back over to the door I'd just entered not too long ago and left again. It didn't take long at all to reach Cid's office, considering it was right down the hall from my own. When I opened the large double doors, I saw him standing by his desk, looking down at nothing in particular. I walked over to the mahogany-colored desk and followed military protocal; saluted.

"Sir!"

…It's like he didn't even hear me at all. He didn't move a muscle. Why was he so tense?

"Sir? You called for me…" I spoke as I took my hand down.

"You may want to sit down," he said in an unusual voice, almost sounding...hurt. My eyes narrowed a little as I sat down.

"Sir?" I asked cautiously, still unsure of his behavior.

"We've just received word from the Estharian Presidential Palace. They said that the president of Esthar is…" he trailed off suddenly.

I didn't like the direction this was going in. Cid was never one to hesitate when it came to such matters. Something must really be wrong.

I remained silent and waited for him to continue.

"Laguna…is in the hospital, and his condition is severe, maybe even fatal. The doctors have yet to determine the cause and they are still looking into it. They say he may not even last the night."

After that, I heard nothing. It's like my mind went blank, and I felt my heart drop like a weight in my chest quickly. I couldn't believe the feelings that were erupting inside of me. I tried my best to maintain my composure, but it was damn hard. My facial expression remained indifferent, and I acted as calmly as I could.

Cid was still looking at me with sympathy written all over his face.

"You may have the rest of the day off to visit your father. You can take the Ragnarok when the others return. Send my best to Laguna...You are dismissed…" he said with a tinge of sadness still lingering in his voice.

"Thank you, sir," I nodded and headed for the door.

"Squall…"

I turned around slightly.

"Are you going to be okay, son?"

"Thank you for your concern, sir, but I'm fine." My response was unimaginably weak. What the hell?

I walked out of the office without looking back and headed dorm. I just couldn't deal with anything else right then.

I rode the elevator down and began (what seemed to be) the long walk around the circular hallway. Every face I saw looked at me with a look of sympathy. Did they know? Word must have gotten around by now, and it was no secret that Laguna was indeed my father. As I passed cadets and junior classmen, I heard a lot of "Is the president going to be okay?" and "Are you okay?" I was getting really annoyed and it was reflecting in my voice when I responded. I just couldn't be fucked to worry about my behavior.

After walking for what seemed like forever, I got to my room, went in, and headed straight to the bed. I sat down and tried to organize my thoughts and feelings. Part of me wanted to see Laguna, to know how he was doing. I was worried and wanted to know if he was going to be all right.

The other part of me was screaming for me not to care and act like some kind of rebellious child. Not going to see him because he wasn't in my life for any of my eighteen years on the planet. Why should I see him now? He didn't care enough then, why should I care now? Why do I care now? Why does it hurt?

Why should I even care?

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Breathing out a bit heavily in frustration, I got up and opened the door.

(TBC!)

Author's Rambles: I know this was short and I don't think the chapters will get much longer than this. Thank you to everyone who sent their condolences. Thank you very much!

Hm, seems Squall was being a little irrational around the end. Getting carried away, you think? Hope he didn't seem to be shifty in moods. Well, anyway, stick around for more!

Review, review.