Author's Note: It's been awhile since I've updated any of my stories. I finished Andromeda and realized how much I missed the ME trilogy so i wanted to update one of my stories in that universe and wanted to do an updated version for those that supported this story and followed, even though this is just a simple on shot...for now
The smell of disinfectant wafted about the air as heartbeat monitors beeped and echoed about Huerta Memorial with a constant and mind numbing rhythm as doctors, nurses and other hospital staff scurried about the halls and frantically entered one door and exited another. The only thing that really stood out from the usual scene of the hospital were two heavily armed C-Sec guards standing in front of one of the doors. The human was a younger male, clad in the standard combat armor and mindlessly twiddling his thumbs to pass the time of a post he considered "being handed a pay check to do nothing." His Turian partner, a head taller and for more composed, stood next time trying to make-up for the lack of professionalism his human partner was currently showing at the moment.
"You do understand who you are guarding?" The turian's rhetorical question was obviously laced with a low growl of annoyance despite his expressionless face. It only been a day and a half but his young human partner had already began to act too relax, especially considering the very important person behind the door. The three ambassadors, admiral and council briefings they had both received should have been indication enough to take the post seriously but this apparently had not dawned on the young man as he continued to look more like a commuter waiting on a tram rather than a C-Sec officer assigned to guard a very important person.
"Come on, Sarge." The young man groaned loudly for the hospital. "The guy behind this door has killed shit you and I only have seen in the vids. We are here more to protect whatever idiot decides to attack the hero of the Reaper war than said hero." The turian groaned. The human let out a sigh, seeing his partner was unconvinced "Whatever, the guy is overra..uggh" the man grunted as the Turian cut his sentence short with a swift elbow to the stomach. The young man quickly recovered. "What the hell, Sarge?" he growled lowly.
"His wife is here." The turian had begun to stand even straighter and the young human heard the sound of high heels striking the floors of the hospital. He looked towards the source of the sound and his jaw began to drop. Perfection in human form, tightly embraced by a dress worth more than young human made in half a year, walked down the hall. The woman's long silk raven hair was flowing freely behind her and her piercing blues eyes looked straight forward, throwing daggers at whoever made eye contact.
As she walked down the hall, the turian guard leaned over. "Stop gawking and get ready. That is our VIP's wife." The young human snapped to attention.
"Who is she?" the human asked as he straightened his back
"Miranda Lawson or should I say 'Miranda Shepard'. Ex-Cerberus and stop asking questions as she could have us killed and her husband would let her get away with it." The young human gulped at the admission of his sergeant. Turians were never known for exaggeration or dramatics so that sort of admission usually needed to be headed with the proper respect.
"Is he in there?" Both them snapped to reality as the thick Australian accent cut through the air with enough authority to order the entire hall to stand still. Both of them gulped, not sure how to proceed. "Is my husband in that room?" Both of them knew full well who she was talking about and she knew they were aware of her identity and that her reputation followed her. For such a beauty, the turian admitted in his thoughts this woman scared the spirits out of him.
"Yes ma'am." The turian finally mustered the courage to answer. Her expression did not change. This worried the two guards even more. The woman seemed to be unsatisfied with their very existence as one hand moved to her hip and the other pinched her nose. The human could feel himself shake.
"Is the doctor here?" Mrs. Shepard's question sounded more like an order for one of them to make a doctor appear out of then air. Thankfully before the two guards could find a satisfactory answer, a salarian exited the door.
"Hello Ms. Law...I mean Mrs. Shepard, how can I help you." The doctor quickly spoke as he instantly knew the ramifications of the situation. The human was even taken further aback by how the doctor acted. Just yesterday, the doctor acted annoyed with the guards and lorded over everyone but now was humbly groveling at the mysterious raven haired witch lady..
"Spare me the pleasantries. how is he?" Mrs. Shepard continued annoyed by the doctor's attempts to be civil. The doctor began to nervously adjust his lab coat just barely overcoming the nervous twitch that ran through his fingers. Once the doctor composed himself enough to speak coherently, he pulled out his omni-tool to pull up the proper medical charts.
"He sustained a broken arm from the impact of the bullet." Every word the doctor said, Mrs. Shepard's eyebrows furrowed harder. "He suffered some some minor bruising on his chest and..." Before he could continue, the raven haired witch quickly silenced him.
"I've read his chart doctor. If you do not mind, I will see him now." Before the doctor could spout the usual policy, the woman forced her way past him and the guards did not even bother trying to stop her. They knew the stories. They had heard the stories of her being the right hand of the hero of the reaper war when he served with Cerberus. They had heard to stories alliance soldiers told of her ferocity on the battlefield on Earth. They knew very well they did not stand a chance against the legendary Ice Queen.
Walking into the room, the beeping of a heart monitor got louder and the smell of disinfectant grew stronger. It was a small, sterile, white hospital room. A small vid monitor hung from the ceiling. In the hospital bed, sat a gruff man in his mid thirties. His features were rigid with a small scar running down his left eye. His skin had been kissed by the sun that had hung over a thousand battles and hundreds of planets. His hair was shaved on the sides and cut short, right in-line with alliance Military standards. He turned and looked at his guest and a smile grew across his face. His once stern green eyes, turned soft.
"Hey, beautiful." Despite his complimentary greeting, Mrs. Shepard crossed her arms, her face turned into a scowl. With her change in posture, the man knew to hang his head and prepare for what was to come.
"What did we promise each other?" the woman's voice began to shake but still maintained that icy tone as her eyes pierced into soul. Throughout the years, he had only gotten that look once before.
Come on, Miranda it wasn't anything I hadn't been through before." The man began but he should have known better than. He could see in her eyes that she knew he was in the wrong and there was very little that was going to change it.
"Don't you start with me." She walked forward to a nearby chair and sat down and continued to cross her arms. "Shepard, what did we promise each other?" Shepard knew he had to answer the question. This conversation wasn't going to go any further until she got her way.
"No more heroics." Shepard sighed.
"And...?" Miranda pushed to get the other part of their promise.
"We leave it all behind and try to have a normal life. No more putting ourselves in danger." Shepard relented. He looked down at his bed. He had disappointed her and more than likely hurt her. He could hear her breathing beginning to grow heavier. Despite her rhythmic breathing, the room was filled with overwhelming silence. The air was pressing down on his shoulders from the weight of disappointment radiating from Miranda.
"Yet, you do it anyways." Miranda began to pinch her nose once again, making not attempt to hide her frustration. Shepard knew his wife to be a business woman and as such was a master of being stone-faced and detached but for some reason he was the best at getting her annoyed enough to show it. The room continued to be weighed down by the heavy silence and the pit being carved out by guilt didn't help.
An exasperated sigh finally broke the ice. "For a damn week, I didn't know where you were. You could have been dead or worse. " He finally looked up, no longer able to stand the piercing feeling at the side of his head where her icy blue eyes were fixed, not moving, not blinking. Her scowl was still there but in the light of the hospital, he saw a single glint against her cheek under her left eye. He knew what it was. He also knew it was solely his fault a tear had rolled down the cheek of his wife. He couldn't stand it. He slowly began to rise from his bed. If his body would let him, he was going to at least try to comfort her but in his attempt, he had forgotten his injuries and a sharp pain in his torso and arm raced through his body. A sharp grunt escaped his gritted teeth as he tensed and froze. Before he could even think about trying to get back into bed, he felt two arms gently pushing him back. He looked up and saw Miranda, without missing a beat, right there at his side when she could even if a tear of frustration was still rolling down her cheek.
"Don't move, you ass." While still a bit shakey, her usual annoyed but still soft tone was coming back. It was a tone she had taken many times before, especially when she deemed whatever risk he was taking as unnecessary. When he had finally found himself back against the bed and the pain subsided, Miranda had returned to her seat and her legs crossed. Her scowl had returned. Shepard let out a weak sigh, realizing those furrowed eyebrows meant he was still in trouble and that tear still hung on her cheek. He looked down at his cast. He inhaled one more time and tried to make things right.
"Miranda,..." He started softly, not sure how to proceed. He had made mistakes before. He remembered failing to stop Saren until the battle of the Citadel. He remembered himself being unable to save Kaidan on Virmire. He remembered Ashe on Horizon. So many things had gone wrong, just as many times things had gone right. Miranda was one of the few things that he felt had truly gone right from the start. He could remember when she began to open up to him about her sister. He remembered when she was there for him after his "reunion" on Horizon. Yet, here he was about to make another huge mistake and with the last person he wanted that to happen too. He had to make this right. "I was just trying too..." Before he could even finish, Miranda interrupted once again, tears streaming down her face. Her eyes had grown wide and voice shakey.
"I'm tired of this John." She sobbed, just barely below yelling. Shepard was taken aback. He had never seen her cry like this except once. "I thought this was over." Her head fell and Shepard could feel a weight begin to form in his gut. "We could have a normal life without the heroics..." She let that sickening pause hang in the air. John knew what she meant.
Miranda couldn't believe it had come to this. No one would ever expect Miranda "Ice Queen Bitch" Lawson to be crying over what she used to call "just another assignment". She remembered when Shepard's butchered corpse had been brought to her by T'Soni. To call it a corpse was a generous description as it was more apt to describe the mangled mess of meat and bone the aftermath of a blender set on high and it was her job to bring back the human it used to be. Despite that, they grew close. First as teammates, followed by friends and after their night in the engine room, something more and grew even stronger after they reunited on the Citadel. Yet it was solidified after the Reaper war
2 days after Crucible Explosion
Miranda had found herself frantically trying to manage an abandoned bank turned make-shift hospital. Wounded soldiers lined the floor wherever space could be made. Any table big enough was now for surgery and anything else was to hold what medical supplies they had. Miranda found herself at the center, coordinating doctors and nurses, dispensing what little supplies they had and trying to bring peace to those she knew wouldn't make it. She worked for what seemed like days until her omni-tool beeped.
"Ms. Lawson we have another." A young Asari nurse said sprinting towards her. Miranda was already swamped and had given clear instructions to put them into the proper section. She hoped the nurse had a good reason not to follow clear procedure. "You need see them now."
"If he is in critical condition, put him behind the teller's station, if he has minor injuries, place him out in the lobby. I've told you this before Jasani. We don't have time to waste here." Miranda coolly replied making her annoyance known.
"Ma'am, it's Shepard." Lawson's eyes grew wide. The air became stagnant, the world grew still and for a moment her heart did not beat but in the next moment, reality came crashing down. Before Miranda even asked, the Asari began to lead her towards him. For days, she had been focused on maintaining this medical station in an attempt to keep her mind off Shepard, especially if the worst had happened but he was here. In the rubble of London, with all Reapers dead, Shepard was still here.
"What's his condition." Miranda barked, her cool demeanor was beginning to fade. If Shepard was unable to find her himself, something had happened but the fact they brought him here meant he wasn't dead, at least not yet.
"abdominal bullet wound, severe burns and several broken bones." As the nurse and Miranda dodged about the make-shift hospital "He is stable but that doesn't mean he is out of the woods. The doctors said you worked on him before." Before the Asari realized it, they had broken into a full sprint towards Shepard with Miranda now leading. Miranda knew what the Asari meant. She had been there during his reconstruction. She knew every implant, their manufacturer and it's core function in his body.
Miranda, before she even realized it had broken into a full sprint. Her breathing was growing heavy and her heart raced. He was alive but needed her. It was like Lazarus but the stakes felt more real than before. Even if the war was seemingly over, her fight wasn't.
At the entrance, flanked by two alliance marines, was a single soldier on a gourney. His armor was either charred or destroyed. If it wasn't his head and covered in armor, it was covered in field bandages. His breathing was shallow, slow and barely visible under what remained of the armor. N7 tags dangled of his neck. His rigid, stern face was covered in blood. She couldn't tell if it was from his head or from other areas. She had seem at worse but this affected her. Someone she trusted, was close too and trusted without a second thought, was lying before her, just a step away from death's door.
Before she even realize she was doing anything she found herself at his side, applying medi-gel where she could. She began to carterize wounds and ordering the Asari nurse to run for clotting medicine and pain killers. As she worked, her scans revealed broken bones, low heart rate and blood pressure. He was barely among the living but she had pulled him from death once before and made him hers. She still wanted Shepard in her life and she would be damned if she lost him now. The war was over and galaxy had used all it could of Shepard but she still needed John. She still wanted to hear the cheesy pickup lines. She still wanted to get annoyed when was being far to upstanding and naive for his own good. She wanted him to look at her one more time. The galaxy was done with him but she wasn't.
After two rounds of omi-gel, blood clotters and two operations to reduce brain swelling, Shepard was finally stable. Other doctors covered for Miranda as she took personal charge of his health. felt like an eternity but Shepard's vitals became stable once again the bruises began to fade. His bones were still going need time to set and heal and the nerve damage in his left leg may never heal but he was alive and going to recover.
As she finished the last of her checkups, she noticed Shepard's eyes flutter. His index finger on his left hand twitched and once again, she was beginning to stare into those green emerald pools once more.
"Hey, Miranda." Shepard wheezed. "I found you." She knelt down at his side, restraining herself from throwing all her body weight at him in an embrace. She simply put his hand in hers and smiled wearily.
"Hey, you did it. We won." Miranda replied softly. Shepard returned with a weak smile. She knew he was too tired for any sort of celebration at the current moment.
"Guess, we can have that normal life now." Shepard's voice was still weak but Miranda couldn't tell if he was joking.
"What do you mean?"
"From here on out, no more heroics. I promise." Shepard tightened his grasp on Miranda's hand. She could barely feel it but his grimacing, she knew he was overcoming pain and grasping as hard as his body would let him. His eyes boring into hers. He was serious. "It's just going to be us and maybe a quiet place on Novaria or maybe Tali will let us get a place on Rannoch. "
"I don't know..There is a lot to think about." Miranda was unsure. Even though she had dreamed of putting all of the craziness behind and living quiet lives, she knew the realities that she faced when this was all over. She didn't forget she was former Cerberus and someone needed to answer for everything they had done. With the way the war ended, she knew the Illusive Man didn't survive. "I'm still former Cerberus.
"I don't care." Was all the answer he needed to give.
"The Alliance will want answers..." Miranda added but she was interrupted.
"I am still a specter and they owe me. You're a hero too now. If that doesn't convince them to leave you alone, I will give them something to question, like how they didn't believe me to start with." Despite his injuries some of that furry he had during the war was returning. This wasn't unusual for Miranda as Shepard had always been passionate about those that served with and under him. They weren't crew. They were his family. She still remember the tirade he went on after Grunt had been called an "untrue Krogan" and she was convinced he was angrier about it than Grunt.
"There is more to it..." Miranda had taken a deep sigh and prepared herself. For years now, she had carried a secret with her and she was certain Shepard had not known. She had hid it well from everyone and bribed the right doctors to keep it off her personnel files. She looked Shepard in the eyes and continued as he patiently waited "I can't have kids Shepard..." She lowered her hand. She had known John had wanted a family. She couldn't provide that. She would give him the stars, the galaxy and everything in-between but this was one thing Ms. Lawson could never accomplish and a part of her felt ashamed. He deserved to have a full life now that it could be his own.
"I know." Miranda looked back at him, his eyes still glued to hers. "I read the Shadow Broker files and they mentioned it."
"How long."
"Since before I turned myself over to the Alliance." Shepard kept his eyes locked on hers. "Miranda Lawson, I want a life with you." Despite his weakened state, his voice still held strength. "I'm quitting the Specters and retiring." She was speechless and before she could have another heart beat, Shepard had slowly propped himself up and gotten as close to her face as humanly possible. They could feel each breath the other took. Shepard could smell the scent of mint and disinfectant and she could smell old wood and sweat coming off of him. Their eyes were locked, not moving or blinking.
"Why me?" She asked quietly. "Why didn't you pick Ashe or Kelly Chambers?" Asking about one of those names had hurt just saying it. Ashley had been a bit of a rough spot for them both as that had been the woman Shepard loved Miranda. No matter how many times he tried to convince, the Ice Queen was always jealous of the now lieutenant commander and the history Ashley shared. Kelly had never been a blip on John's radar but she knew those two could give him the life he wanted but as her insecurities set it he moved closer.
"Because I want you. " He whispered softly. He gently placed his forehead against hers. Their new proximity allowed both of them to hear the subtle rhythm of the other's breathing. She could smell the sweat, dirt, grime and the slight hint of old wood. He could smell disinfectant, stale blood but the refreshing hint of mint under it all. "I want the woman who gave me a second chance at life." He clinched her hand tighter. "I want the woman who was at my side every chance she could. I want Miranda Lawson with all the flaws and perfections. Think you can handle that Ms. Lawson?" Shepard knew Miranda was never the one to let a challenge pass her by.
"Of course."
Current Time
The two lovers sat just a few feet away but there was a distance between them. With every metaphysical inch, Shepard's stomach grew heavier, his breathing became more labored as the silence was becoming deafening. He had to do something, anything. He was desperate to put this behind and repair the damage. He didn't go through all he had just let Miranda go. He had made so many mistakes and lost so much. There was no Shepard without Vakarian and there was no John without Miranda. To lose her to something so stupid as one more Specter mission was not worth it. Even to this day, he still debated letting her go off after Sanctuary. At this point in their relationship, she had entangled herself so intrinsically into his life he worried her leaving would kill him.
"Did I ever tell you about the time I first saw you?" Shepard whispered into the air hoping, it would find itself to her ears. He sat there looking down at himself and his hospital gown as he awaited a reply but none came. He continued anyways. He knew if she wanted to stop him all she would have to do is say so. "I still remember the first words I ever heard you say." He contorted his face into a scowl and furrowed his eyebrows in a horrible attempt to try mimic the scowl Miranda had when he first woke up after he died. "Damnit Wilson!" Shepard tried to imitate Miranda's Australian accent but it sounded more akin to a drunken Englishman attempting to an Australian accent. Despite the horrible performance, he still heard a muffled giggle from across the room. He dared not look out of fear it came from someone else or was his imagination. "It's still foggy and has only gotten worse as time moved on but I can still remember you riding Wilson's ass." There was no muffled chuckle and snicker like before so he moved on to something more sincere. "That and I remember seeing the most beautiful pair of blue eyes and dark as night hair. I was somewhat convinced I had died." He sighed and gathered what he could to continue. "I will be the first to admit, we didn't have the greatest of starts." A good hearty snicker sung out into the room. Shepard released a slight smile at the reaction. "But we got there. Seeing you with Orianna..."Shepard finally looked towards Miranda as sitting, he now had her full attention. Her crystal azure eyes just peering right back into him. The tear was gone but the scowl was still plastered on her face. "I got to see the human under the Ice Queen." Shepard released long sigh remembering how soon after the suicide mission followed and soon after that, he had to turn himself back into the Alliance. "I just wish during the Reaper War I got to see you more or at least be there when you faced Kai Leng. May have slept a bit better with you on the Normandy again." It was Shepard's turn for his voice to shake with emotion. Shepard looked down at his cast, his face visibly downtrodden. "I've made mistakes Miranda. Just look at the Virmire reports or what happened on Bahak and the Batarians." He put her back in his vision once again, hoping she saw the sincerity in his eyes. He hoped that icy blue glare realized he was sorry. "I'll retire from the Specters the moment I am released. Just please say you forgive me."
She couldn't stand it anymore. He sounded like a helpless child as his voice quivered, his head hanging low. She slowly rose, walked over to his bed and sat at his side, being carefully not to touch his injured arm or sit on the various wires attached to him to monitor his vitals. She gently placed her hand on his shoulder leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. She instantly felt a healthy arm touch her lower back and Shepard's scruffy face begin to rest in the nape of her neck. His warm breath raced down her collar bone, sent a shiver up her spine. "Of course I do." She whispered in his ear. "Just, can we please have a quiet life. It's going to be hard enough with us having a child."
A million lighting volts surged into Shepard's system as he snapped back up right and looked Miranda in the eyes. At first he wasn't sure what he heard. Maybe his emotions distorted his hearing as well as his judgement. "Did you say we are having a child?" Shepard's jaw was trying to escape and touch Shepard's lap as he tried to process. The only answer he got from Miranda was the largest smile he had ever see her give. "But what about your condition?"
"I was undergoing some new treatments and I was going to tell you before you disappeared on that Specter mission." Before either of them knew what was going on, Shepard crashed into Miranda, kissing her as deep as he ever had. He loved Miranda but something clicked even deeper inside knowing before him was the mother of his future child and this feeling was only compounded by his now obliterated acceptance of Miranda's previous condition. He was over all the moons and only came down when his excitment caused him pain in his torso and had to lay back down in his bed.
"I'm gonna be a dad."
"Yes, you are."
"You can tell my mother."