Day Dream
By Taryn McDermott
Journal Entry 1
No one had ever lived like this. Defeating the Kaijus, and coming back alive. That was one hell of a feat, but I am living with the consequences. Nightmares strike me every night, the times with my brother flooding into my mind like millions of tons of water. It was like the deep abyss had swallowed me whole, and I couldn't find my way out. Depression has finally taken its toll on me, and not giving up without a fight that's for sure. It feels like the depression is choking me, and not letting go, suffocating me until I drop dead at its feet. I'd chalk it up as the second worst feeling in the world, the first being someone dying while you're still in the drift.
Chapter 1
The room is dangerously quiet.
The only sound I hear is my heart pounding in my ears, and cold sweat trickles down my face, leaving me looking around the room, gazing directly at my gun on the nightstand. I hear the cars passing by on the streets below, going at top speeds in the dead winter night. Where's the next Kaiju? I think, feeling myself slipping into an anxiety attack. Images of monstrous faces pop into my mind, and I scream as I feel myself being pulled away. No, my brother being pulled away. I feel his helplessness, his terrified mind, the way he starts to cry before it all goes black.
Hot tears stream down my face as I hold my gun tightly and shake on my bed. "Its…" I start to say, my breath sharp and unsteady. "Its just my memories… Its not real…" But I can't help myself anymore. I throw my gun in the air and it lands on the floor, knocking over all the books I had sorted. I yell and yank my hair, sobbing like a lost child. "Mako!" I scream her name into the emptiness, waiting for her to come and rescue me from this terrible dream called life. "Help!" I say, my voice cracking.
The door flies open and Mako runs over, hugging me and comforting me, rubbing my back. She whispers sweet nothings into my ear, holding my head on her shoulder. I cry, hugging onto her, thankful I had someone that cared, someone that loved me enough to live with me. If I didn't have her here, I don't know what I would do with myself.
The snow continued to fall outside, cars whizzing by, and the silence broken time and time again by my horrible sobs. After I had regained my breath and finally stopped shaking, I lifted my head up and gazed into Mako's eyes. They were the most beautiful thing I had seen in a long time. Mako reached a hand up and wiped away the tears from my face gently. "Raleigh…" Mako began to say, and then I leaned my head in and kissed her just as gently as she had wiped away my tears. She seemed a little surprised, but when I let go, she ran her hands through my hair and smiled. "Your first counseling appointment is tomorrow."
I nodded, sighing and resting my head on her shoulder again. "Thanks, Mako. I… Don't know what I would do without you…" Mako smiled and held my hand, gazing back into my eyes.
If this was love I don't know what it is.