Love that could tear them apart in the end

This is a one shot at the end of season three of Buffy when Angel leaves. It nearly broke my heart and I wanted to spend a bit more time with them.

Buffy POV

Buffy saw Angel through the mist caused by the final destruction of the beast. He made it, she thought….., he survived….., thank you, thank you, if there is someone watching over us, thank you for sparing him.

I feel that familiar pain in my chest, like a knife twisting inside me, I know he has to go, but how can I bare him leaving….., leaving me… how will I carry on without him, knowing he is there in the world but not with me. I know why he is doing this but it doesn't make it any easier, why does he have to be so noble?, to do the right thing? When it feels so bad. I know our love is doomed, I knew this moment was coming but now it has arrived I can't do it.

Angel POV

Thank god she is okay; there would be nothing left for me in this world if she hadn't survived this fight.

Now I can see that she survived, I must leave; I must leave her….

I can't do it, I can't leave her, I know what it could cost her if I stay but I cannot help it. She is the only reason I have for existing in this world. She lessens my pain; she makes it worth the fight, she makes it worth it to keep fighting. I must leave her now it's not fair on her; she deserves a chance at a normal life. I have to turn around and go, and never come back. I have endured agonising pain, centuries of torture, but nothing compares to this…..One last look at the love of my life, and then I must leave.

Angel turned and walked slowly away, dragging his feet with every step. I need to go, I need to start anew, he said to himself and try and make amends for all I have done and try to forget her…

He heard footsteps heading towards him, he would know those steps, recognise that scent anywhere.

He turned to face her

"Buffy" he said softly, just a whisper. I told you no goodbyes.. it's too much" he said holding his gaze in hers.

"I can't let you go Angel, I know why you are doing this and that you think it's for the best for me, but it's not best for me, not when I can't live without you….I can't exist without you" she said tears rolling down her cheeks.

Angel couldn't bear it any longer; his careful resolve to leave was slipping. He opened his arms out to her and she wept into his chest.

They had all been through so much tonight. It could have been the end for them all but they had survived the ascension despite all the odds.

Was their ultimate destruction going to be caused by each other? Their love was beyond reason; beyond sensible decisions for the best, it could tear them apart in the end.