Regarding Raoul
Ooooh! Look at you!
With all your money and your fancy ponytail!
You can afford a shirt with a front –
So why are you parading around in what looks
So much
Like a frilly girlie shirt?
You "fall in love" with someone you haven't even
Talked to in years! Breaking her growing love for
The man so much more qualified for her than you!
You can't sing, you can't act, and you sure as hell
Can't fence!
Your dancing is atrocious, and you look far too much
Like a girl. Not to mention the fact that you seem to be
Severely Brain Damaged.
So what makes you so special?
You rescued a scarf. Yippee.
He gave her music.
What's the obvious choice?
So stop wasting your breath – and your fake tears.
Don't you see? He needs her. She deserves to be with him.
If it were up to me, I'd pull the rope myself.
But I can't.
So I'll throw my white cheddar cheese popcorn at you instead.
Muwah.