Authors note: So this is just something I felt like doing because… I like Gravity Falls, and video games, and I also watch a lot of funny let's plays on YouTube so I thought, fuck it! Let's make a Gravity Falls let's play thing. I thought Dipper and Wendy would work well in these fun little stories since they have a pretty solid chemistry in the show, and also going to tell you guys that our two friends are going to do this uncensored, so expect a lot of fucked shit they'll say out of rage or they just say it without thinking, I'll also have some guest appearances from other characters on Gravity Falls. Other than that, I hope you enjoy this new series.
P.S.- These stories are going to take a while to upload since I'll just do them when I'm in the mood or have a brain art, so keep yourself occupied with my other story Dystopia, you'll love it.
Chapter 1: Gender Swapping Humility
O-O-O
*BZZZ*
Static covered the screen of a camera, nothing but black, white, and grey pixels were seen moving. Slowly, the static dispersed to a clearer image, picking up two faint, but barely audible voices. As the static cleared up, it showed a clean image of a T.V. screen, showing a title screen of a certain video game known as "Disneyland Adventures Kinect", while the sound finally cleared up, revealing the voices of Dipper and Wendy.
The two friends were at the Mystery Shack, usually they would goof around since it was a slow day today, but they decided to waste their time by playing a Kinect game, all thanks to Stan. Dipper asked his Grunkle where and why he got an Xbox 360 with a Kinect and the game. Apparently, he found the items in some bargain bin at the mall while trying to find some stuff to use to make more attractions for the Shack, he said he got the stuff because he wanted to give it to Dipper as an early birthday present since he would forget his birthday eventually, but he never answered if he paid with cash.
After getting the console, Dipper asked Wendy if she was interested and considering how today was, she agreed and had an idea to make things a little more interesting, to get Dipper's camera and record a let's play, mostly because she thought it would be fun to do. After setting up everything they needed to do at the living room of the Shack, the duo turned on the T.V. and well, began their descent into a shitty game.
"Is it on?" Asked Wendy, wondering if the camera was on as she laid down on the carpet, right next to the chair to avoid the Kinect from picking her up, because the Kinect is too shitty to handle more than one person on the camera.
"Yup, I think it should be recording… now." Said Dipper as he stepped back enough and gave himself enough space for the Kinect camera to pick up his movements.
Dipper cleared his throat as he began making an introduction since this was a let's play he was doing.
"Hello, internet. I'm Dipper, detective extraordinaire."
"I'm Wendy, the cool one on camera." Joked Wendy, making Dipper smile at the quip.
"And we're playing, Disneyland Adventures on the Kinect." Continued Dipper, regretting his choice to play a Kinect game already as he struggles to properly use the Kinect by moving his hand to the start button, which is proving unresponsive so far.
"This is already a good start." Said Wendy sarcastically. "Why do you even own this again?"
"Stan got this for me as an early birthday present." Answered Dipper, as he finally got the menu working and went to new game.
"Crappy birthday."
O-O-O
The screen now showed the option to pick between boy and girl, giving the option to give a command through voice command.
"Xbox. Boy." Commanded Dipper, but he got no response from the game. "Xbox. Boy."
Dipper repeated the command over and over as Wendy started to chuckle. "It's defiant."
"Ha-ha, yeah it's like, NO." Joked Dipper, making Wendy chuckle with him, though he was still somewhat frustrated with the voice command.
"Open the pod bay doors Hal." Said Wendy, imitating a scene from the movie "2001 A Space Odyssey" and then changed into a monotone voice. "I'm sorry Dipper. I can't let you do that."
"It's a piece of shit. XBOX. BOY!" Said Dipper, now getting frustrated with the voice command. "Xbox. You're a bitch."
Oddly enough, the voice command was recognized and chose the girl option, which made the two friends laugh at the command.
"How does that work?" Said Wendy, whose mind is boggled at how the command worked.
"I have no idea." Said Dipper, just as confused as Wendy.
After the whole menu debacle, the screen showed Dipper's player as a little girl at the Disneyland entrance. Looking around at the environment, Dipper used his arms and turned them sided to side with his waist for the Kinect camera to pick up so he could turn in game, which made Wendy raise an eyebrow at the sight.
"The hell are you doing?" Asked Wendy, confused at Dipper's jerky movements. "You look like you're trying to have a stroke."
"Here's the thing about Kinect, its controls are horrible. If I want to turn in this game, I have to act like this so I can actually move." Explained Dipper as moved his arms around as an example. "On the bright side, I can do this."
Dipper then waved his arms around wildly, which the Kinect picked up and showed the game character fail its arms around awkwardly, making Wendy snicker. The two friends then noticed that Mickey Mouse was there, making Dipper cringe in fear while Wendy grinned, thinking of an idea as Mickey waved at the game character.
"Oh god. Not him." Said Dipper, not very excited about Mickey as his game character went to Mickey, then he jumped back a bit when he heard a high pitched voice close to him.
"He-hey kid! Come here for a sec." Said Wendy, imitating Mickey's voice almost perfectly as the game character got close to Mickey. "Wave at me. Come on."
"I really don't want to." Said Dipper dreadfully, but complied anyways since it was the only way to progress into the game, so he waved at the Kinect camera to make his character do the same, going into a cut scene as Mickey spoke.
"Ho-ho. I'm a giant fucking mouse." Said Wendy in her Mickey impression, not really paying attention to Mickey speaking in the game. "I grew up in a radioactive fucking nuclear plant."
"Mickey, you shouldn't be swearing. I'm just a little girl." said Dipper, going with the act Wendy was making.
"I'm Mickey Mouse bitch! I do what I want." Said Wendy, stifling a giggle as she continued in her impression.
When the cut scene was finished, Dipper now had free reign to move around the game world, and made his character move to collect some bouncing coins close by, and began moving his arms around again.
"Oh my gosh! Look at all the coins. HAHAHAHAHAHA." Said Dipper, fake laughing like he enjoyed collecting them, but in reality he didn't.
"Stop failing your arms around like that. You look like your retarded or something." Wendy said in her Mickey voice.
"HAHA, shut the fuck up Mickey! I'm having fun." Said Dipper as he continued collecting coins.
"Ho-ho, you're gonna regret that you son of a bitch." Said Wendy, as she began chuckling and went into her normal voice. "What the fuck are we doing?"
O-O-O
"We gotta go see Donald Duck now" Said Dipper as he made his character walk inside to find Donald. "Let's go have an adventure."
"The adventure in hell." Quipped Wendy, as Dipper raised his arms in the air, making the character do the same which made the character look like a complete tool.
"OH, OH MA GOD! PLEASE! UH!" Said Dipper, acting like he was in terror, making Wendy laugh at the sight.
Eventually, they got to Donald Duck and started waving at Donald to go into another cut scene with Donald talking.
"Hello! I'm Donald Duck." Said Donald in the game.
"Yeah hi. Can you sign this autograph book? Mickey said he was going to kill me." Said Dipper, wanting to accomplish the objective to rush through the game.
"Oh boy! An autograph book from Mickey." Said Donald, while Wendy began another impression of Donald.
"I'll sign it with my penis." Said Wendy in a Donald Duck voice, which made both friends laugh hard at the sudden joke. "I'll use duck sauce."
"What the fuck man?" Asked Dipper, still laughing at the joke. "Why?"
"Just shut up and get in my van."
O-O-O
Dipper's game character eventually arrived at the Disneyland square, which had Mickey in the middle as Dipper's character went up to him.
"Hey Mickey. I got your stupid autograph but Donald said he was going to rape me." Said Dipper, continuing with the act. "He wants me to get in his van."
"Well then, you should go inside then." Responded Wendy, now in her Mickey impression.
The game then told Dipper to wave at Mickey, but while Dipper did just that, the game did not respond well, barely lifting the hand in the game.
"I'm waving my hand." Said Dipper, getting frustrated with the bad controls as the game did not respond still as it jerked the character's hand around in an erratic manner. "I'm waving my fucking hand! What the holy fuck? My hand is malfunctioning!"
Wendy just laughed at Dipper's frustration, finding it hilarious that this game could actually piss off Dipper who was usually level headed. She wasn't the one playing the game though, so she wouldn't understand too much unless she tried it herself. But she had too much fun acting like perverted Disney characters, especially since she was a pretty good voice impersonator.
"Finally." Said Dipper as he managed to talk to Mickey. "I think I'm supposed to be six feet tall to play this game, so that's the problem."
"Or maybe you're just playing a shitty game." Suggested Wendy, which made Dipper nod in response.
"That too." Agreed Dipper, as he accidentally paused the game for a second, then he unpaused it to reveal that his character changed from a girl to a boy. "What the fuck happened to my character?"
The two friends just stared at the screen in silence until Wendy spoke lowly.
"You're a little boy now… HAHAHAHAHA!" Wendy just burst out in laughter from the sudden change, which made Dipper both mad and confused.
"Mickey? Why was I transformed into a little boy all of a sudden?" Asked Dipper, but Wendy was too busy laughing at what she just saw. "I don't even know if I'm a boy or a girl now."
"HAHA *wheeze* confused huh? HAHAHAHA!" Wendy couldn't control her laughter, not able to make a joke at what she just saw.
"Seriously, I have no idea what just happened." Said Dipper, still expecting an answer from Wendy.
"Hehe, Disneyland gender swapping adventures! Not satisfied with your body? Come to Disneyland and we'll change that… HAHAHAHA!" Exclaimed Wendy, who went back into laughter.
Dipper made his character, acting dazed and confused until he bumped into what was supposed to be someone called Karen the park guide.
"Oh Karen, help me. I'm lost and I was given a sex change without permission. What's happening to me?" Asked Dipper while Wendy just chuckled.
"Hope to see you around the park." Said Karen, saying her goodbyes.
"NO!" Said Dipper and Wendy at the same time as Dipper continued. "No Karen! You're not listening to me. No one listens."
Dipper then made his character walk around the park more, still in the act of trying to comprehend a sudden sex change.
"Help! Please help!" Shouted Dipper as he stuck out his arms out in a plea for help. "I need an adult, I need an adult."
O-O-O
After going through some more tedious work and panicking about a sex change, Dipper managed to drag himself into a mini game by entering a ride called "Matterhorn Bobsleds", the entrance being a portal.
"I'm expecting to turn into a turtle if I go in there." Said Dipper, making his now male gaming character go in the portal, while Wendy held back a snicker.
As the loading screen popped up, it gave directions and motion directions on how to play the mini game.
"Lean left or right to avoid bumping into things. I'm sure that'll work flawlessly." Said Dipper sarcastically.
"Yeah totally. The Kinect never fucks up." Responded Wendy, also in a sarcastic tone as the mini game began.
As expected, the controls proved to be Dipper's undoing, as he tried leaning left and right but ended up hitting every rock obstacle in the way while missing most of the collectable coins as Goofy skied in front, making Wendy laugh at the horrible controls and Dipper's displeasure.
"This is way too dangerous for a child with no parents to be doing." Said Wendy, pointing out the bobsledding game has several rocks that could kill someone in real life.
"Goofy, this hurts." Said Dipper laughing in between while hitting more rocks. "Those rocks hurt and can break all my bones, OW! Goofy why? OW!"
"Isn't it because you have to get Donald's hat?" Asked Wendy, remembering what the whole point of this mini game was.
"I missed Donald's hat after the ten thousand rocks hit me." Replied Dipper. "Goofy, you're not as funny as I remember."
"It sure is quiet here." Said Goofy as the game went into a cut scene.
"There's probably a sniper." Replied Dipper as Wendy pretended her hand was a gun and pointed it at Dipper's head, who noticed it at the corner of his eye.
"Yeti!" Screamed Goofy, as the screen showed a yeti while Wendy just made pew sounds like she was shooting.
O-O-O
After the cut scene, Dipper and Wendy's jaws dropped at what they saw, a photo of Dipper trying to lean left while he was playing the game earlier, making him look like a total tool.
"Oh my god." Said Dipper, laughing at the photo with Wendy. "That is not going in the video, whoever is editing this."
"It's going on my phone." Said Wendy, using her cellphone to capture the moment on screen and saved the picture.
"Of course you would." Said Dipper, not surprised at Wendy's snapshot as he saw two options on the screen for the photo. One was continue while the other was upload to KinectShare, but Dipper was hoping for a delete option.
"Do you want to upload to KinectShare?" Asked Wendy teasingly, giving Dipper a wide grin that made him chuckle.
"Oh Christ no." Replied Dipper.
"Upload to KinectShare." Spoke up Wendy, joking around that the Kinect would listen to her.
"No. continue." Said Dipper, expecting the Kinect to register his voice command.
But the Kinect listened to Wendy first and uploaded the embarrassing photo to KinectShare, making Dipper's eyes wide and mouth gape open in a frown, while Wendy's jaw dropped again at the fact the Kinect listened to her. There was a few second silence before it ended with Dipper's shout.
"NOOOOOOOO!" Shouted Dipper in dramatic fashion, making Wendy laugh as hard as when the gender swapping happened earlier, while Dipper turned to Wendy angrily. "You fucking cock!"
"I didn't think it would work." Said Wendy honestly, before breaking out in laughter again. "I think the Kinect likes me. HAHAHAHA!"
"I didn't want that photo uploaded." Said Dipper, lowering his voice but still clearly mad. "I don't want any human being to see that!"
All Wendy could do was laugh, and continued to laugh so hard that she couldn't breathe for a few moments, coughing loudly but still laughed in between as tears ran down her face from laughing too hard. "Mabel is gonna love this."
"How do I delete that shit?" Asked Dipper, hoping to get rid of the embarrassing upload.
"I don't know. I don't even know what KinectShare is." Said Wendy as she managed to regain her composure.
Dipper just sighed heavily and continued, trying to forget what just happened. As the loading screen popped up for the next game, he noticed that his game character changed back into a girl, just to put icing on the cake of humiliation.
"Heh, you're a little girl now." Pointed out Wendy, who went back into laughter as Dipper threw up his arms in frustration.
"What the fuck is happening?" Shouted Dipper in confusion, still not understanding the sudden character changes.
After the whole mini game, the character was transported out of the portal and back in the middle of Disneyland, into a crowd of people that kept walking past Dipper's character while he made the character wave for help.
"Someone? Anyone? Please help me?" Asked Dipper, while Wendy just kept chuckling.
"This is one of the greatest things ever." Admitted Wendy, wiping away the tears of laughter as Dipper just scoffed.
O-O-O
After walking around the park for a while, Dipper's character found Mickey again to turn in the objectives for Donald about getting his autograph and hat.
"Hey Mickey. I got that autograph from Donald that you wanted. Can I go do fun stuff now like a normal kid?" Asked Dipper.
"No! You belong to me." Responded Wendy in her Mickey voice, while the game paused by itself again due to a connection problem.
When the game unpaused, the game character changed again. It was still a girl but she was now white instead of black.
"HAHA! What the hell just happened?" Asked Wendy in her Mickey Mouse voice, making Dipper chuckle. "You just went from a little black girl to a little white girl."
"I don't know Mickey. Does that mean I-
"No, no. You go do the next mission. I own your ass now." Interrupted Wendy in her Mickey voice as Dipper's character went to do the mission unwillingly.
"Okay thanks Mickey. Bye asshole." Responded Dipper as his character walked away.
O-O-O
"Oh man, did you see that Disney princess back there? She had like the biggest tits." Said Dipper, making Wendy chuckle a bit. "When I grow up, I want to have tits like that."
"Unless you turn into a boy again." Quipped Wendy.
"Yeah, I'm gonna want to change my mind after that." Responded Dipper. "It's so confusing."
After walking around some more and collecting some items for a previous quest for a Disney princess, Dipper's character went back to Ariel, the princess that asked him to do this.
"Okay I got your dinglehoppers for you. They're called forks by the way." Said Dipper talking to the princess. "I know you don't know too much about human things but really? Dinglehoppers?"
Ariel just finished her conversation and the game gave the option to give Ariel a high five, while Dipper just made his hand go up and made a Nazi salute, which made Wendy laugh at the sight.
"Hiel Ariel. Hiel Ariel." Said Dipper, hoping that the Kinect would accept the motion command as a high five for amusement, but it just triggered a conversation instead.
"I'd love for you to tell me about human stuff." Said Ariel, but Dipper decided to misinterpret what she said.
"What? Human suffering? I can tell you what that is, it's playing this game." Said Dipper, making Wendy laugh at the misinterpretation.
O-O-O
"Oh look, "It's a Small World." You have to go in there." Said Wendy, pointing at the screen of the T.V. to a portal that led there.
"Oh great, the most nightmarish place ever created by humanity." Said Dipper, unenthused as he went in the portal.
"Oh come on, its classic." Said Wendy, trying to convince that maybe this ride would be enjoyable.
"I actually went to that ride in real life with Mabel. We agreed to never go back again, and look what I'm doing now." Said Dipper as he pointed at the screen. "I hate this game."
The screen then showed Dipper's character on a boat as a child sailor began introducing the ride.
"All aboard the happiest ride in the world." Said the sailor, which did not convince Dipper at all.
"Forced happiness. Can't wait for that." Said Dipper sarcastically as he began moving his hands in a winching motion to get the boat moving. "Oh great. I have to do manual labor. I can't believe that I'm doing manual labor on "It's a Small World."
Wendy just laughed at Dipper's sarcasm as the boat stopped at a Hawaiian themed island in front, seeing a hula dancer well, dance. Dipper and Wendy just looked at the screen, not really sure what to make of it since Dipper tried moving and the boat refused to do so.
"What do I do?" Asked Dipper, confused about what to do on the ride. "Do I have to dance?
"I think so, but it's not telling you anything." Answered Wendy, which made Dipper awkwardly dance like the hula dancer as Wendy snickered at the sight and cheered. "Yeah! Shake it!"
Dipper just sighed and continued winching the boat when the dance was done, and doing dances for each stop the boat made with every different nationality of child, making Dipper look like a moron.
"As expected, this ride is the most awful and painful thing to ever experience." Said Dipper, losing his patience at the tedious dancing.
"Actually, this is much worse than the actual ride. I didn't have to dance to get through the ride." Said Wendy, remembering her childhood memories.
"It still sucked." Said Dipper, done with the last dance and continued to winch the boat forward. "Maybe if I collect enough coins, I can buy my freedom."
And for the third time, the game paused again before unpasing again, to revel that the character changed into a boy again.
"Oh for god's sake." Said Dipper, frustrated at the change as Wendy laughed again.
"You're a little boy now." Said Wendy as she laughed. "That never gets old."
Eventually, the ride is close to an end, stopping for the final time at some other boat in front that had every kid that Dipper was forced to dance with.
"Oh great, it's a talent show. Who's gonna rape me the best?" Quipped Dipper as he had to dance to every single kid and mimic their dances again, which made Dipper groan in frustration, annoyance, and pain as he moved his waist around for the dance. "Oh god, I have to pee. This crap is going to make me pee."
O-O-O
After Dipper went to the bathroom and had another sex change in the game, the screen showed four photos of Dipper attempting to dance to each dance he had to do, as if the last photo was bad enough.
"Holy shit." Said Wendy, looking at each of the photos as she took a picture of them on her phone. "If only you had your lamb costume."
"God no. This is not getting uploaded." Said Dipper as he was given the two options again.
"Upload to-
"No! Don't upload to KinectShare!" Interrupted Dipper, not wanting Wendy to upload them again.
But Fate worked against Dipper, for the Kinect uploaded the photos, aming Dipper get down on his knees and scream in dramatic fashion again.
"NOOOOOOOO!" Shouted Dipper again, which made Wendy laugh just as much as the last time it happened, coughing between laughs at Dipper's mistake.
"HAHAHAHA! I can't be-*cough* believe you actually *cough* fell for it." Said Wendy, barely able to breathe as she kept laughing at the humiliated Dipper, who took a deep breath before letting out another scream.
"NOOOOOOOO!"
O-O-O
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravity Falls or anything Disney related.