What a fine day it was to be the head of Uchiha Co. What a wonderful day in the neighbor-
Really, it was a troublesome, headache-filled day.
All Sasuke Uchiha had asked for was that his supposedly genius assistant Sakura find him the mass-murderer Kira so he could murder someone (being the head of a company guaranteed that you'd need to find somebody to murder). Instead, Sakura brought back a talkative blonde girl with pigtails, a confused teenager with brown hair, a he-she with long blonde hair dressed in leather who kept talking about her/his 'friend' Matt, and maybe a few more.
"Please, Sasuke-kuuun?" Sakura walked forward. Her lip trembled and her eyes grew three times their size. Sasuke coldly drenched her in a bucket of freezing, soapy water. "Sasukeee! We ran into a lot of trouble, you don't even know that none of them is Kira, it's not our fault, first of all-"
"Here!" Sasuke shoved a mouthful of cereal into her mouth. "Remember that you are indebted to me by several hundred million dollars for saving you, Sakura. Now, do you still wish to talk again?"
"Mph-" Sakura tried to talk again.
"More cereal?" Sasuke scooped a handful out of the box and roughly shoved it into her mouth as well. Sakura shook her head. "Sakura not like cereal? Very well! Is Sakura going to complain again?" She shook her head, angry tears streaming down her cheeks. "Good girl. Now go away. Cereal is free, I stole it out of Naruto's kitchen." Sakura spat out the cereal and ashamedly dragged herself back towards the yellow truck where the other strange people were standing.
"Excellent, does anybody have any more complaints?" Sasuke asked, his voice dangerously low and calm. "How curious to know you were involved in this," he narrowed his eyes at Sakura, who lowered her head. "I am very disappointed in you for such-"
"Hey! Why aren't you letting us into your hideout, eh? Just because you think you're all rich and stuff-" the teenager with long blond hair and leather, not sure which gender, ran at Sasuke waving a gun.
"Servant One," Sasuke said coolly. Instantly the blonde teenager was hit by a stun gun and crumpled. "Excellent. Now, Sakura, and you-" he pointed at the cooperative brown-haired teenager, "stay back."
"But-" Sakura spoke.
"Sakura doesn't like cereal? Here, have some chocolate," Sasuke calmly dropped a truffle and threw the golden wrapping paper over his shoulder. "Your debt has now increased by five hundred dollars," he announced. Sakura glared at him. "As for the rest of you," Servant One handed him a pail of cold water and a heavy pack of thousand-dollar bills.
"Choose wisely. I don't ever want to see your ugly yellow dumpy truck on my property, or Servant One will explode it gladly. Naruto!"
Naruto walked up, looking extremely nervous.
"Get me another cereal box for Sakura, and nice choice in associations," Sasuke hissed, emptying the pail of cold water down Naruto's shirtcollar and throwing the empty pail at him. Naruto dodged it. "You have been relegated to Servant level. Your number is now Fifty-Three, last position. Understand I am being merciful."
"Yes, Sasuke," Naruto answered, his eyes downcast.
"As for Servant One," Sasuke turned, "due to your faithfulness to me, you will be promoted to Secretary position. You may remove your mask and request to be called by name." Servant One nodded.
"Now leave me alone. My head hurts from talking to you pathetic worms."
Dear Sasuke Uchiha,
I have found out that Uchiha Co. is a highly corrupt, evil, and greedy place. Your methods are what can be described as abusive, utilitarian, with lack of respect for dignity and are on far past the border of illegal. Rest assured that I will hand you in to the rightful side. Even Kira will not stop me, because I have moved to someplace out of his range.
Love,
Neo Van Erst, who promises to bring you down.
"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled. "Get me a hitman."
"A hitman?" Naruto asked worriedly. "Well, your past hired assassins Ka-Kakashi and your brother Itachi of the Akatsuki gang refuse to cooperate..."
"Stupid idiot! Just get me some people who are capable of getting rid of somebody!" Sasuke yelled, frustrated. "Here is your debt," he pointed at a sheet of paper. "Nobody, Naruto, has ever accumulated as much money to be owed to me. Nobody has experienced my mercy and tired my patience any more. Get to it, immediately."
"I-I will," Naruto answered. "I-I know an association," he suggested nervously.
"Excellent. I will forgive 0.00001% of your debt if you do so," Sasuke hissed coolly. "Sakura!" He yelled out. Sakura walked up, her face rather pallid. He grinned like a wolf cornering its prey, knowing it had won. "You're smart. Find out who Kira is," he spoke.
"Kira? But he's just a myth! No serial killer can manipulate people into getting heart attacks! Science and logic-" Sakura spoke.
"Excuse me!" Sasuke spoke sharply. "How much do you think your education at the best colleges to sharpen your intellect cost me, dear? How much money must I put into you, if there will never be no use for it?"
"Un-understood," Sakura bowed her head.
"You two! One for strength, another for intelligence. I have sponsored you both, and in the end, you are still incompetent, no brawn whatsoever! If you cannot pay me back in money, then do so through your actions!" Sasuke hollered.
Trembling, Naruto and Sakura quickly exited the room. Sasuke took another look at the letter, memorized it, then scoffed and called up Servant One.
"Photocopy then laminate this, and ensure it does not get lost or I will kill you!" He yelled. Servant One nodded and exited swiftly. Sasuke groaned and rubbed his head.
He had a terrible headache, what with all of the trouble it took to run a company.
"Now," Sasuke nodded to Servant One, "it is your initiation ceremony as the new secretary of Uchiha Co. Congratulations on making it to this high position. Understand that your job as a Servant was nothing compared to the responsibilities you now have." Servant One nodded silently. "It has been a week since that dreaded letter arrived, and your loyalty and competence and help to me have been indispensable. Any requests?"
"If it is not too troubling," Servant One spoke, "may I still be called Servant One and retain my mask?"
Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Alright, then," he answered. It should be fine. After all, Sakura and Naruto knew his identity and could easily get rid of him if he proved subversive or tried to overthrow him.
He then turned towards his assistant and second-in-command, Sakura, and his former secretary Naruto. They were paralyzed with fear. Sakura nervously stared around. She was the only one wearing casual clothes for a teenage girl. Naruto nervously plucked at the collar of the stiff-necked, business-built suit, not at all like the "cool" and flamboyant fashions he used to wear.
"Here," he handed them papers. "These are proof that you are now Servant Fifty-Three and you are now dead. These ensure that you will no longer live that spoiled life you had. I do not care about your family or friends. As a dead person, Sakura Haruno will now be able to spend her full time and act useful, whereas Naruto Uzumaki will learn the true cost of angering me."
"A death certificate?" Sakura whispered with shock. "Sasuke, this-"
"Silence! You two are quite daring," Sasuke glared, "speaking up and getting yourself into such trouble. I have room for boldness, but not for stupidity and rebelliousness. Naruto, your Yellow Truck Association was full of weirdos who were clearly incapable at accomplishing the job I would have given them, and Sakura has not found Kira's identity yet. At your request, I will extend your deadline by three days, but at the cost of three hundred million."
"Sakura didn't-" Naruto began. Sasuke frowned and reached for the pail next to him.
"No!" Sakura stopped him. "I apologize...it was my fault. I thought...we were friends," she spoke, ashamed, embarrassed and disappointed, her face reddening and eyes downcast.
"But of course we are best friends," Sasuke answered. "Are we not?" He asked dangerously. "Did I not help you out in your time of need? Pay for whatever you wanted? Clothe you, care for you, watch you, give you high positions?" Sakura squeezed her eyes, tears falling and her shame growing more apparent. "But that does not mean you receive special treatment. Here, we are all equal, is that not so?" He asked.
"Y-yes, sir," Sakura answered.
"I thought we agreed you could call me Sasuke!" Sasuke roared. "After all, we are best friends. Correct?"
"Well, best friends-" Naruto spoke.
Sasuke dowsed him. "Real best friends," he hissed, "would not abandon me. They would listen and obey selflessly, without being afraid of sacrificing themselves, because they would be my best friends. They would not plot against me."
"We never-!" Naruto began.
"Here you go," Sasuke stuck a pacifier into his mouth. "Ahaha, that truly fits you, you big baby," he grinned and admired his work as Naruto frowned and tried to get the pacifier out. Panicked, muffled screams came from Naruto as he realized something. Sakura's mouth dropped as she stared at Sasuke, horrified.
"Oh, my, did I mention it has super glue on it? I guess if you want to breathe through your mouth again, you'll have to stay quiet until I nicely free you. Blow often." He threw a box of tissues at Naruto's face, which he caught. "Now," he crossed his legs on the table, "get rid of them, Servant One."
"Understood," Servant One nodded.
Sasuke groaned and rubbed his head, trying to soothe the spasms of pain.
"Problems, sir?" Servant One asked.
"A horrid migraine for each side of my head," Sasuke answered. "Must be the stress..."
Five minutes later, Servant Thirty-Five escorted the brown-haired teenager into the room.
"Listen up," Sasuke spoke. "Tell me what was going on. I would ask Sakura, but she would take forever to finish and that would be most annoying, don't you agree?" he laughed lightheartedly. The teenager did not laugh. Sasuke narrowed his eyes.
"Uchiha-san," Light spoke slowly, "is afraid of somebody, is he not?"
Sasuke's eyes widened. He frowned deeply. "Speak, kid," he raised an eyebrow, not too pleased.
"I'm actually maybe only a year younger than you," the young man spoke. "You try to look older than anyone, but really your older brother Itachi is only in his twenties, so you really can't be that old," he grinned. Sasuke clenched his teeth, his hand trying to soothe his head from all the throbbing.
"Sure, whatever you say, kid," Sasuke fake-laughed. "Enough jokes. So, what's your association about?"
"We make people disappear," the teenager answered.
Sasuke's eyes narrowed, then he threw back his head and laughed.
"Make people disappear? Cute," he patted the teenager lightly on the head. "Here, I'll send you back to school, where do you go to?" He asked, pulling out his cell phone. "Servant One, can you get a ride to his home?"
"No, no, no," the teenager laughed and lowered Sasuke's hand that was holding the cell phone. "I think an introduction is due. My name is Light Yagami, and I am Kira."
Sasuke's frown at the audacity of the kid to touch him dissipated and was replaced with a smirk.
"Well, well, well." Sakura's innocent, worried face flashed into his mind. The pink-haired girl would be getting a promotion if she was lucky. "First of all, if you are Kira, then I will pay a large amount of money if you promise me you can get rid of a certain man."
"Straight to the point, eh?" Light mirrored his smirk. "Well, I hate chitchat, too. I will prove to you that I am Kira by killing somebody unimportant."
"Kakashi Hatake, then," Sasuke answered. "He's quite daring, refusing to work with me."
"Your tutor?" Light asked.
"Let us imply a no personal questions rule," Sasuke slowly and lovingly fingered the handle of his trusty pail.
"Understood. It will be done within one minute."
Sasuke blinked.
Light laughed. "You see, Uchiha-san, I do not need to be within the presence of my victims." He took out a sheet of paper from his shirt pocket along with a pen from Sasuke's desk. "Now, please describe how you wish for Kakashi Hatake to die."
"As little suspiciously as possible," Sasuke answered. "You may come up with the details."
"Very well. Allow me to gather my thoughts. Suicide sound good?" Light scribbled a few notes on the paper then folded it up neatly and placed it in his shirt pocket. "Very well. By the name of God, have Kakashi Hatake die by manner of suicide at 5:30 in his home." He closed his eyes, touched a strange necklace at his throat and folded his hands.
"Is he dead?" Sasuke asked eagerly.
"Mmm," Light opened his eyes. "It is done," he nodded.
"Servant One! Find out the status of Kakashi Hatake!" Sasuke called over the intercom.
Five minutes later, the flat and monotone voice of Servant One answered "Kakashi Hatake is dead, having committed suicide at 5:30 in his home."
Sasuke's eyes widened.
"Give me another test," he urged Light. "Itachi Uchiha."
"Hm. Your brother?" Light asked.
"Yes, yes," Sasuke answered impatiently. "You looked into me?"
"Oh, no," Light answered, chuckling. "Your assistant Sakura proved to be quite talkative. She really loves to talk, doesn't she?" He asked.
"Whatever. Hurry up," Sasuke ordered.
Light grinned then took out his paper and pen. "Details of death?" He asked.
"I don't care, just hurry it up! Can't you make it any faster?"
"I can change the time of death, place, manner of death, so long as everything is credible and plausible," Light answered while scribbling on the paper once more. He closed his eyes, touched his necklace and folded his hands once more. "By the name of God, have Itachi Uchiha die, by manner of heart attack at 5:43."
"Can I specify something about his death? For example, could I say his signature ponytail would be cut?" Sasuke asked.
"Of course," Light smiled, opening one eye then slowly closing it. He retouched his necklace. "With his ponytail cut off," he recited.
Sasuke called for Servant One.
"How does my brother?" He snarled.
"My deepest apologies," Servant One answered. "The wails of the Akatsuki are loud. Itachi Uchiha has died of a heart attack two minutes ago-"
"Was he bruised in any manner? Was his ponytail cut off?" Light asked eagerly.
"Yes. He died right after his hair was cut off in a fight."
Sasuke's eyes widened once more. As Servant One was dismissed, he turned towards Light, who beamed. He seized Light's hands.
"Congratulations," Sasuke smirked. "my so-called best friends ran off with their tails behind their legs. You, however, are not only smart but clever and have the power and courage already. I say we work together. I have money and you have the power of Kira."
"Do you really think so?" Light asked, his eyes shining.
Sasuke recoiled a bit, but continued nonetheless. "Of course," he answered. "Let us track down this troublesome man I know," he picked up the letter from Neo Van Erst, "and kill him together, my best friend."