Songs Used: I And Love And You By The Avett Brothers
When she doesn't return from her walk he doesn't take it personally. He gets it; He's lied too long and fucked up too often. He'll hang on to the love he saw in her eyes, the struggle of wanting to stay. He'll keep that, they were real. She loved him it would have to be enough.
He sits in the exact spot she left him until Kara returns with concern written all over her face. It might make him awful, more awful than he already is but if the loneness gets the better of him at least he can use Kara as a fix. At some point he convinces himself that he loves Kara and he seeks vengeance for the wrongs done to her.
-/-/-/
Any delusions he has of loving Kara flit away like a butterfly on the wind the second he lays eyes on Jemma at the playground. She's hid the fact that she's the only reason he's alive very well. The hate in her eyes is almost convincing baby's gotten good at loathing while he was away.
He turns the camera monitoring her quarters away and slips in. "I am not in the pro Jemma going on this mission column but that tactical gear is doing things to my resolve on the issue." He says watching her buckle the thigh holster.
She huffs and rolls her eyes. The irritated way she bites out "Grant…" has that little part of his brain screaming "touch, touch, touch," itching for action.
"Bloody holsters and snaps and shit." She mutters fumbling with a final latch. It's the tiny expletive that does him in. The part of his mind whispering "Mine, Mine, Mine," moves him into action.
He crosses to her in three strides and has her backed conveniently to her bed. How nice. He's not sure who kisses who first but they're kissing (very, very enthusiastically) nonetheless.
"We shouldn't…" she murmurs into his mouth
"That's not no." He points out while cupping her face in his hands.
"We don't have time and…"
"They can't leave without us babe. We're integral to Coulson's brainchild." He says stopping to nip her chin. "Besides for the next however long neither of us have to lie about what we want."
"Aren't you mad at me?" She asks undoing his TAC vest.
"For not wanting to run for the next decade? No, hurt a little but I'll live."
"Keep the leather jacket lose the ugly maroon jumper." She advises out of nowhere. "It makes you look like Garrett." Speaking of his earlier attire.
"Yes dear." He says laughing He can't help it. "Man I love you Jem."
-/-/-
Afterward they lay side by side. "Shit…I still love you Bollocks fucking bloody hell. Fuck!"
He shoves up on to his elbow to watch her. "There are worse things to do ya know."
"I saved your life all those months ago because I loved you. I'd hoped it'd gone away because whatever inevitable unfathomable horrid thing you do next is on me, because I didn't let you die and I'll have to make things right. So could you just I don't know be good…for now."
"Give it my best shot baby." He says leaning in to kiss her.
-/-/-
They dress hurriedly and exited Jemma's quarters and ran smack into Agent Weaver coming to retrieve Jemma. A deep blush floods Jemma's entire body and fuck if it wasn't the cutest thing Grant has seen in forever.
Jemma starts to stutter out an excuse. "I was just-"
"We were having sex. We're married; it's legal in all the states and most foreign countries. Don't make her feel shamed for what comes natural to her. A pleasure as always Weaver." He turned to Jemma who stood mouth gaping. He tucked her chin up to close her mouth before dropping a quick kiss on her lips. "See you on the jet Baby; feel free to sit by me if flying in small things still wigs you out alright?"
"Okay." She mumbles distractedly.
"Good." And he walked away.
-/-/-/-
The mission goes well enough and he leaves Kara implanted where she needs to be to carry forward their plans. He doesn't say goodbye to Jemma, he can't force the words past his lips. Their love, it's a weapon waiting to be used against which ever one of them pisses off Coulson first. He can't chance feeding the ammo into the belly of the beast.
-/-
He falls back into the pseudo relationship with Kara because he needs the advantage over her. He gives her the revenge she wants mostly because she deserves it but more than that it will pacify her.
Morse however is not caving. She's just getting started.
She rambles on about how Grant is using shared trauma to control Kara. Which he is, but he feels no need to admit.
"You're a toy to him. Something to occupy his mind while what he really wants is so far out of reach he can't even dream of her face anymore. He loves her Kara and do you wanna know why? Because she was too fucking smart too fall for his excuses. Everyone has trauma, everyone but not everyone uses it as justification for being an evil asshole. I will never be sorry I gave up the safe house and neither will he because she was undercover in Hydra when I gave it away. I saved Jemma and he's ready to fall at my feet for that alone. You will always be second when flung up against all that brilliance and purity. Because just touching the woman's hand has him feeling clean."
"I've never lied to Kara about having loved my wife." He says hold up his hands in pretend supplication before crushing the urge to shrug as careless as he feels.
"Really? You tell her you two screwed like rabbits in the artic? The very second you could get your hands on her? Did you think she wouldn't tell me Grant?" She smirks and Grant finds himself itching to slap her, he fights it
Bobbi laughed loudly. "He can't tell you it didn't matter to him because he worships her, always has. One of his few redeeming qualities I suppose." She leans as far back in the chair as her trapped hands will allow.
He leans a hip on the table. "You know the one thing we have in common Morse? We love people who'd go running into the blazes of hell for us. We both know Hunter's coming after you. I'm going to use his love for you to kill him." And he strolls out.
He rigs up a really killer (pun intended) door bomb and sends Kara to watch for Bobbi's rescuers.
-/-
Jemma told him the next bad thing he did was on her hands and she meant it. She'd make it right so she's here to save Bobbi maybe trade herself in return she hasn't got that far in her planning.
When they split apart to search for Bobbi she never sees Kara until it's too late and she's pumped a round into her shoulder. She faints from the pain.
She comes to on a highly suspect bathroom floor she pulls herself up off the floor using the sink for leverage. In the mirror May's face stares back at her. Jemma isn't quite sure what she's seeing.
Her first instinct is fear. She goes for her help.
-/-/-
He sees May coming around the corner. He shoots without thought.
When the very British sounding, "Love." Falls from May's lips his heart stops knowing immediately Kara had put the spare Nano mask (Created by Bakishi) on Jemma in jealousy.
"No! No, no, no, no, no please no!" the no's become a screaming litany as he sobs so hard it's like his soul whatever is left of its blackened scraps is being torn out of him. He realizes the keening, injured animal sounds are coming from him. As she reaches up to touch his face he pulls it together a little. The mask has disengaged as her brain function is slowing its back to Jemma's gorgeous face. "Damn it! You told me to be good…I'm sorry."
"Lake House…" she whispers.
"That's right…" he chokes back a sob. "We're there dancing across the floors as we paint the walls in the morning. That's where we are. Just go there…" He nods clutching her to him.
He leans down to whisper the words to their song into ear. The song they'd danced to that morning. "Load the car and write the note. Grab your bag and grab your coat, tell the ones that need to know. We are headed north. One foot in and one back, but it don't pay to live like that. I cut the ties and I jump the tracks, for never to return…" He kisses the stuttering pulse point on her neck.
He can feel her struggling for breath. "It's okay baby…"He can't see her for the tears in his eyes. "It's almost over baby…I love you…its okay." He kisses her and her last breath falls on his lips.
He has no idea how long he sits there in the floor of the hallway cradling her body in his arms but he doesn't move. He just holds her and cries. He cries from the place he keeps hidden. The place that had loved Thomas, the place he'd let Garrett into only to be twisted up. He cries from the tiny corner of his soul that was reserved solely for Jemma and nothing else.
He killed the only thing he loved, again.
There's a scream crawling up the back of his throat begging to be let out. He pushes it down. He brushes the hair out of her face and wipes the blood off her mouth. Someone touches him.
He turns wild eyed and angry on May. The scream hanging out in his throat turns into a deep snarl. "She's my wife!"
May literally jumps back before approaching more carefully. "We've got to go now or we'll lose Morse too." She says warily as though she's dealing with a trapped animal protecting itself.
He stares back down at Jemma ignoring May. "You're going to have to shoot me to get her away from me."
"You're more valuable to SHIELD alive. Get on your feet Ward." She orders.
-/-/-
He's not quite tracking how much time has passed or where they are until May escorts him into Jemma's lab in the playground. He forces down a new wave of tears as he places her on the exam table.
"Sit." May orders he's too numb to do anything but comply. She forces him into the seat at Jemma's work station and cuffs him to it.
He waits until she leaves before moving to Jemma's side. May must be frazzled herself she'd cuffed him to a chair with wheels. He's made no further moves to touch Jemma's face since he'd closed her eyes. She was beginning to grow cold and stiff it was unsettling.
He has no concept of time and how long he's been sitting there. He knows he's in shock but it feels much different than he'd thought he hasn't experience true trauma in over a decade.
All he wants is his wife back. He will do anything in his power get her back, even if he has to sacrifice himself.
-/-/-/-
The numbing monotony of his disbelieve is broken by Fitz's heart wrenching, blood curdling screams. After a few minutes they stop. He hears the hammer of a gun click back at the back of his head. "You can kill me Fitz because that would be merciful at this point or you can hear my shot in the dark plan. It's up to you." He turns the chair to face the other man.
-/-/-
They uncuff him long enough to travel to Weaver's office, with Coulson in surgery its clear she's in charge. Which works unquestionably in his favor his plan is risky on all sides, given what he knows and who it will affect poorly should he be wrong? Well, it looks like the gods of bumbling idiots in power are smiling on him today.
"What's this plan you have Ward?" weaver asked while leaning on the desk. "You killed one of my favorites it'd best be good."
He laughs. "I killed one of your fav-"He shakes his head in complete and utter disbelief. "She's my wife and more than that you self-important bitch, she's the love of my life. So, even if the odds are a million to one on my worst goddamn day… which this is I will still take my chances. Now, would you like to hear my plan or not?"
She nods and he takes that as permission to lay out his plan. That rock on the Iliad is Kree. I know because it was originally a Hydra asset. Garrett tested it for healing properties but it was unreliable at best much like the diviners. Legend was, according to the Hydra higher ups like Whitehall, the stone is meant to be an eradication weapon for the inhumans. If you're human it can turn you into a living weapon if it so chooses. Jemma is human. I'm human; I want to take her into the rock. If the stone chooses to eradicate us? So be it I've got nothing to lose and if it revives her makes her different that's better than dead."
"And if it brings back just you? If it deems Jemma not worthy?" Fitz asks.
"You can kill me Fitz." He nods to the other man.
What if it weaponizes her to kill me?" Skye asks.
He shrugs, "Well, then I'd run."
-/-/-/-
The last time Grant will ever hold Jemma in his arms she is stiff, lifeless, and definitely no longer his wife. All that was left was the husk of her being. It squeezes all the air from his lungs which might be a good thing because every step he takes toward the stone as it fluctuates between liquid and solid is…scary. (Huh, he hasn't been scared in a while.)
He steps in; the substance covers his boots and snakes up his legs and then rises like a wave. It's that temperate that burns with neither heat nor cold but leaves a burn anyway.
He was never afraid for himself. He was only ever afraid Jemma would disapprove. Jemma must live.
It's his last thought as they're enveloped in the rock. "Our love was only a weapon in my hands, let her live." He says aloud to himself.
And the rock is solid again.
AN: I own nothing, don't hate me I have a plan.