Dan leaned into his ex over her desk. "You know I'm happy for you right?"

Chloe turned up from her paperwork and froze. Her next words came out too fast. "I don't know what you mean."

He cocked his head. "C'mon, the little touches, the way you aren't screaming at each other across the bullpen?"

"Maybe I just like him more than I used to. And maybe he's a decent partner now. Most of the time."

He dragged a chair over, sat reverse on it with his arms crossed over the top. "Did I say 'Lucifer'?"

"Shush. Don't you have anything else to do?"

"I think you're an idiot, but I'm glad you're getting this thing out of your system."

Her blue eyes on him ran cold. "What do you mean?"

Dan shivered involuntarily. It was fun to prod his ex without consequences. Well, serious ones. They already divorced, so what more could she do?

His mouth twitched and he gave her a fake shrug. "You finally gave in to Lucifer's sex-god powers. It's okay. I mean, so did half of everyone here, and they don't seem unhappy about it." Dan couldn't resist the extra dig to remind her that the guy's dick has been literally everywhere.

A tendon in her neck spasmed. "Half?"

"Easily.", he dropped his voice conspiratorially. "And you know how many people here are married."

Chloe reddened. "He doesn't sleep with anyone if they don't want it. I mean, it doesn't help anything, sure."

"He's a man-whore."

She grumbled. "He is not a- I mean, okay, he's a little crazy, but-"

With supreme effort, Dan kept his amusement in check. "Yeah?"

His ex-wife blushed furiously. Oh yeah, he pegged them alright.

Chloe tapped her stack of neglected files on the top of her desk to straighten them, glaring daggers. "What do you want, Dan?"

"Look, I'm just saying, if you don't want everyone to know you finally shagged the Devil, to use his term, maybe quit smiling at him. The rest of us are used to you barely putting up with him."

She flushed red to the gills, adorably. He had a good idea of how far down that blush went when she got angry.

She hissed under her breath, "What's wrong with everyone knowing?"

He softened a little. "Chlo', I just don't want to see you disappointed when he doesn't keep after you. Everyone he's shamelessly seduced knew it wouldn't last longer than a night. It's a miracle we haven't had a scene in the station over it."

"That doesn't mean it had to be a one-time thing, and it's only been a few days."

"It's not like he's going to stop with you. And if this isn't a one-time thing, we both should be setting a good example-"

"Don't you dare!"

"Well?"

She huffed. "You know, even for a…him, he's not a bad guy."

"Oh, no, he just won't drop the Devil shtick. Ever. Trixie already adores him, but she'll be bouncing around school telling everyone how awesome 'Satan' is." He can see the teacher's notes now. At least Chloe will be the one dealing with them. It's not like he would be dating the Devil.

Her nostrils flared. "She's allowed to think for herself, you know."

"So are you going to tell her not to take her devil drawings to school? Her teachers were already a

little concerned before you ever got in bed with him."

She squinted. "You got a call?"

"They ran it by me after calling you, I guess."

"Yeah?"

"I told them I supported whatever decision you made."

She sat back, surprised. "I asked her not to make any more satanic drawings at school. Only at home."

"Okay, but let's not forget the rampant drug use." He jerked his thumb toward the back. "And his suspected raiding of the evidence room for said drugs."

She inclined her head. "Suspected."

"He's fast. I swear sometimes Lucifer doesn't show up on the internal security cameras. No one is trying to catch him stealing from the evidence room either. Everyone who works in there is wrapped around his little finger."

She leaned toward him, annoyed. "That's not proof. And he's kidding. Lucifer can't possibly go through a kilo of cocaine himself. Or a saline drip-bag of LSD."

Ella in passing, added, "Dude, that's way too much."

Dan conceded their Forensic Scientist had a point though. They were pretty sure he didn't sell drugs himself. Lucifer understood he'd be booted as a 'civilian consultant' from the LAPD if he got caught.

Chloe knew he used a variety of drugs recreationally from time to time, which was a problem for her. For most sane people, she hoped.

Lucifer always claimed he doesn't lie. He's had a tough time sticking to his fake roles or names any time he's sent undercover. Enthusiastically proclaiming how much he liked drugs had to be an exaggeration, but it had happened more than once.

Chloe sighed, picked up a new stack of papers on her desk and unnecessarily straightened them too. She needed to do something with her hands before she strangled her ex. "Look, I know he's not without complications. Some of them insane, but-" She floundered.

Dan leaned away with a sly grin. "But he's great in the sack, am I right?"

If looks could kill, he'd have been dead decades ago, no question.

She growled at nothing. "I am not discussing my love life with you. I don't even see how this is any of your business, especially if-" Her gaze caught his pale eyes. "Wait."

Uh oh. "What?"

She planted a finger on his collarbone, not breaking eye contact. "You know, don't you?"

Shit. "Uh."

"You slept with Lucifer!" she hissed.

He ducked closer to her face, "At least I know how not to broadcast it."

"When?"

Dan shifted in his chair. "C'mon."

"Let's hear it." She got that face. The stubborn one.

"He came on to me, okay? I thought he was joking, and it turned out-I thought I called his bluff, okay. And then it turned out not to be a bluff." He shrugged as casually as possible, which was not at all. "I mean, obviously, he hadn't led anyone else on either, but I didn't think he meant it, especially after the way he reacted over Charlotte. This is me, here."

Her lips flattened. She waited.

Dan scratched his neck. "I'm not going to get out of this, am I?"

"Nope."

"He said he would 'grant me the best blow job I've ever had in my life'. I mean, I turned him down. But you know Lucifer; he's relentless when he has to prove a point." And his lips don't make promises they couldn't keep. "The next day, the two of us were working on a case near his club and uh, one thing led to another..."

Dan was suddenly warm and uncomfortable. Suddenly hyper-aware of *who* precisely waited on the other end of the conversation. He stopped cold. The air became unbreathable.

"And?"

Oh shit.

"And. Uh. It was NOT the best blow job ever. Nope."

Chloe nodded with that flat-angry-nod thing she does. "It was, wasn't it?"

"..."

"..."

"...Maybe." It totally was.

"Oh, my God."

He had to get one last spike in. "Don't let Lucifer hear you say during sex." That shit did not fly with his Devilness.

She flat out abused her stack of papers in a death grip.

Worth it.

"He left me alone after that and started pursuing someone else. Of course, Lucifer still messes with me, but the sex really was a one-time thing." Dan would take it to his grave that maybe he wouldn't mind all that much if Lucifer had kept after him. He didn't volunteer that he had the best breakfast of his life too.

He nudged her shoulder. "I mean, can you honestly tell me that whatever you and he did wasn't better than our craziest night together?" Not that it wouldn't hurt to hear it.

"I haven't decided yet."

"You haven't decided that he's the best thing that ever happened to your-"

"You remember when we were trying for Trixie? That was better."

Ouch. Double ouch. But also, in your face, Devil! "So, you're saying I could teach him a few-"

Chloe shook her head. "No. Emotional attachment matters, Dan. And I'd like to have that with

Lucifer."

"Along with dating a sex-god?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not why it happened." She paused. "I don't want this to be a one-time thing,

whatever this is right now."

"And you trust him not to have sex with a million other people while he's with you?"

"Yeah, I kinda do." Her throat moved. "Maybe it'll be too much to ask, but I hope not. We've known him for a while now, Dan. He turned me down before. I don't think he'd take me now if he didn't want to kick out the Brittany's."

"When did he turn you down?"

"Never mind."

"I'm still kind of amused I had sex with him before you. It'll be his loss if he doesn't close off his apartment to his parade of previous partners and you have to dump him."

"That's actually very nice of you to say, in a weird way."

Dan looked around the bullpen. "Where is he anyway? Doesn't he usually turn up any time someone is talking about him?"

Roses in a vase full to overflowing, mashed lightly into Dan's face.

A nervous courier looked around them. "I have a delivery for Detective Chloe Decker?"

Her face lit up and she plucked up the card. "I bet the Devil never sent you flowers, Dan."

No…no he did not.

Dan never sent any one person that many roses in his life.

Which, he considered, might be a problem.

Chloe re-organized her case files for the ninth time that hour, finally putting the vase of roses on top of a file cabinet because she couldn't work with the thing on her desk.

She gave up and texted Lucifer.

C: Why didn't you tell me about Dan?

L: I've said for ages he's a douche.

C: No, why didn't you tell me about you and him?

L: Water under the bridge, love. Does it matter?

She put the phone down and glared at the roses, picked the phone up again. This was not a conversation she should be having over text. God. Lucifer and Dan.

L: You knew I wouldn't lie about it.

C: I guess I hoped you would.

Her and Dan's intimate history wasn't that far in the past. When they started to split up, make-up sex happened a few times. Well, attempted make-up sex. He had a goofy orgasm face. Hell. Lucifer saw it. Or maybe not if he was busy sucking Dan's cock.

is not something I have a right to be bitter about.

Lucifer looked damn good on his knees, she could attest to that personally.

He must be reading her mind.

L: Are you looking for salacious dirty little details? You must already know all his ins and outs.

She blushed, burying an old fantasy creeping up the back of her skull from her lizard brain. She was a teenage wild child with raging hormones and had spent every year after she turned 20 by being a damn adult. She'd never regret 'Hot Tub High School', but she still felt like she had to make up for it.

L: Oh! Detective! You are, aren't you? (Devil face emoji)

C: What? No! And don't you dare call me a minx.

L: Come over tonight, and I promise you won't be thinking about him.

She wanted to. Lucifer's attention on her that first night was everything he ever promised.

C: I can't come tonight. Can I ask you something?

L: Anything.

Fuck it. She escaped her desk. She found an office closet and called him. He picked up immediately.

"Lucifer, are you busy?"

"For you, I'd stop the world on its axis."

"Are we…is this-"

"It's whatever you want it to be, love. I'm smitten. I trust the floral arrangement arrived?"

She smiled. "It did, thank you." She thought about how to put her thoughts back together. "I won't ask you about every past lover. I know you have a reputation."

"I may be a creature of habits, but I'm not chained to my base desires, as much fun as they are. Or were. Detective, I wanted to make it clear I want to see you again, as often as possible."

Her stomach pooled pleasantly full of heat. "Maybe I can put together another sleepover for Trixie…"

"Whenever you can. If not tonight, then soon, I hope."

His voice dipped into velvet.

If Dan had been this romantic they wouldn't have had as many problems. Well. Had he been, this wouldn't be happening now.

Maybe.

"Thank you, Lucifer. Soon, I promise. I want to see you again too." She rubbed her forehead. "I shouldn't have asked about Dan."

"You can ask anything you want. I can't promise you'll always want to hear the answers."

She chewed her lip. "No. Whatever happened, happened. And you didn't keep him."

"I didn't send him flowers either. How's your boring case?"

"Boring. Open and shut. You coming down here tomorrow?"

"Why, can you use me?"

Playfully, "Yeah, I need your hands."

"Oh, yes, Detective…" The burr in his voice dripped with promises.

"I have a ton of paperwork that needs doing. Dan is dragging his feet, and I could use an extra warm body with working appendages." She winced at mentioning Dan yet again, but the work was his responsibility too.

"I think I need to help you get your mind off your ex. Would it help if I said he's nearly useless in bed? But you must have known that too."

Ha.

And now she's thinking of them in bed together. In Lucifer's black satin covered bed and Lucifer doing all the work. Dammit. As of very recently, she knew how they both looked like post-sex. Tousled hair, taut abs you could bounce a quarter off of, just slightly sweaty. "Oddly enough, no, that wouldn't help." Dan used to sleep naked before Trixie got mobile enough to start busting the door down.

Of course, he plowed right on. "He tried to do this thing to me with his tongue, but really, he was a much better receiver than a giver."

And now there's that visual, right at the front of her brain. Lizards be damned. She knew how they both sounded in bed too.

"I mean, let's face it, hardly anyone can keep up with my stamina. I'd practically need the both of you even to have a chance of wearing me out."

Oh boy.

"Detective?"

"Gahh. Ineedtogobye."

Chloe's wild years made her very tempted to just rub one out in the closet real quick. But she has work to do. And she's a professional. Yup.

Dan nearly got hit in the face as the closet door swung open, and a red-faced Chloe sneaking out of it.

"Chloe?"

"WHAT?"

"Ooooo-kay then. I'm just gonna go in there and get some pens?" He did a double-take. "Did you…. just have phone sex with Lucifer?"

"No. No, I did not." She nodded, straightened her blouse and walked away.

use and walked away.