A Thousand Words
Author Notes:
This was based off a Tumblr Meme Challenge: (posted on twittr I think by Jon ArfMeasures)
Boss: Know why I called you in here?
Me: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.
Boss: (stops pouring 2 glasses of wine): Accidentally?
This time using our favorite primarch as our subject. I posted this on tumblr a few days ago. and figured oh heck why not post it here as well. The characters are probably going to be completely OOC but this is made for ridiculousness purposes only. Offense not intended ^_^.
Here goes. Standard disclaimers apply.
Magnus grinned with satisfaction at the results of the picture he took.
He sent it to his intended with the accompanying note.
"Hurry here and get some."
A minute passes. Two. Three.
A knock on the door of his quarters caused the Primarch to look up from the leatherbound tome he was pretending to be studying at the moment.
A mischievious smile appeared on his lips.
Just as he expected.
He leaned back on his chair, rubbing his palms together in excited anticipation. "Come in."
When the panel slid to reveal the visitor, the red Primarch's jaw dropped.
"Hello, Brother." Jaghatai Khan did not falter and went right in, taking the chair across his genuinely shocked sibling.
"Khan...hey." Magnus tried in vain, and failed, to hide his surprise.
The other Primarch wasted no time however, and slid a data slate in front of the Crimson King. "And what foolishness have you decided to amuse me with?"
Magnus would have broken into a cold sweat if it was humanly possible, but he was unable to. "Whatever are you referring to?"
Jaghatai leaned forward, resting his elbow on the desk and pointing to the data slate with his index finger. "That...thing...you sent me in that data slate." the White Scars Primarch raised a brow. "Are you...trying to tell me something?"
"Aaaaaa..." Magnus was not typically at a loss for words, but he certainly was now, as he was terribly caught off guard. He knew exactly what Khan was talking about. But the message he referred to was certainly not meant for him.
The Khan smiled conspiratorily. He noted the champagne cooling in an ice bucket and two glasses to the right of Magnus' desk. He took the pricey liquor and started pouring the contents unto each flute. Meanwhile Magnus was trying to sort out in his very confused head how his lewd message ended up in his brother's data slate instead of the Remembrancer he was trying to send it to. Last he checked, Karimah was in the kitchen making cookies and Khan was pestering her for a taste of the dough.
Magnus prided himself on his ability to send messages to data slates telepathically and not missing a beat. How in his Father's name did this happen?
"For someone as red as you are, you certainly look quite pale to me." Khan teased as he took a sip of the alcoholic beverage.
"Its nothing..." the other Primarch murmured.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"You summoned me here for something, I gather...with that picture and all." Jaghatai smirked, clearly amused at his brother's distressed appearance. "Care to explain?" Khan motioned to open the data slate and Magnus quickly put his hands over it.
"There' s some...misunderstanding."
The other Primarch raised a brow. "Oh really? I don't think so." Khan made a grab for the slate but Magnus held on to it for dear life.
"Let it go." Magnus demanded as he tried to yank the slate away.
Khan did not budge. "Why? I've seen it already."
"All the more reason to."
"Its my data slate. And you're the one who sent it."
"Khan!"
"No."
A slip of paper slid from under it, falling on Magnus' lap.
Written on it, with Karimah's very distinct script was one word.
"Gotcha."
At this Jaghatai Khan started laughing hysterically, slapping his thigh with amusement, and trying not to spill his drink.
"What in Father's name..."
Khan stood up and slapped his brother's back. "I know not what it was you sent to Karimah in that slate..." he began. "But she promised to make me a tray of coconut macaroons if I came here and pretended I did." his chest shook with as hard as he was laughing. "Oh but you should have seen the look on your face..."
Magnus was redder than he normally was, as he buried his face in his palms.
"I hate you."
"I love you too, brother." Khan smacked his brother before standing up to leave. He winked at him before he closed the door. "I have an idea of what you sent her...but I'm sure those macaroons are good enough for me to forget...that lady of yours is one mean cook."
Magnus growled as he threw the book he was reading at his sibling who was out of breath from laughing. He had not gone five seconds when the door opened to reveal Karimah trying to stifle a giggle.
"You." he glared at her accusingly with his single eye.
"Me?" she asked innocently. "You're the one sending me obscene messages when I'm trying to bake."
"Yes...but to rope my brother into your little prank!"
"Hey, he was easy to bribe."
The Primarch grabbed her around the waist and sat her on his lap. "You're gonna pay for that."
"It was a very nice picture, by the way." she said as she kissed the tip of his nose. "Care to show me the real thing so I know you didn't manipulate the image to make it more enticing?"
"Be quiet, woman."
"I thought you like it when I'm...mmph."
Needless to say Guilliman's desk was going to find itself a rival with its reputation.
Author Note: The title is taken from the saying "A picture is worth a thousand words." Not from Magnus' status as the father of the Thousand Sons. Just a silly factoid. Karimah is my OC and is Magnus' paramour.