Once a pond a time. There was a god like strong and rouged boy named Arther who found out he was a merman. Not just any merman, but king of all mer-people. He was token back to the ocean where he rule them all. Oh and there was lots of hot merpeople sex. Because what else are you going to do in the ocean? But even with all the hot tail... fin... Arther could have he still wish to return to his home land. Not because he miss being on land or that fastfood joint three blocks from his parents house. But for a super hero. A spandex wearing super hero by the name of Flash.
He sighed blowing up a air bubble while sitting on his awesome throne. "Oh Wally..." he thought to himself. "If only you could be with me. I would make you my Queen.. or King... what would that make him? Who cares! We couldn't produce an era so it wouldn't be allowed."
"ummm... Majesty." The MerGaurd floating next to him said without looking away from that crack on the wall. "We merman can procreate with other merman."
Arther floated up out of his chair. "No shit! Really? Don't you be messing with me or I'll have you raped by a squid!"
The MerGuard panicked "No please no your all Mighty Coralness! I swear it's true! Why don't you remember the guppy shower we had for John FinGuillSand?"
AquaMan, oh did I forgot to mention he goes by the name AquaMan? AquaMan thought back on that guppy shower "God lord I thought it was weird he had a beer gut even though we don't have beer under water."
And so AquaMan grabbed his pointy stick that was three times pointyer then any normal stick. Went to the serface to find the one called Wally West. "Yes Wally Wast I will make you my King! That would make me Queen. What with me doing all the popping out little guppy babies. Man, with his fast speed I bet those little guys will swim like jet skies! Frackin A Awsome! Wonder if I'll have to change my name to Orin West... sounds like a good name for a car dealer ship."
Before Orin, Queen of the Fish People, Arther AquaMan West; could rant any further he came apron a crying NightWing.
"NightWing! Why are you crying? I thought you Batman people won't allowed to do anything but brood?" Aqua West ask while poking him with his three head stick.
Nightwing wiped his tears away "Fuck you man! Stop poking me with that thing you'll rip my sexy leotard." Don't look at me, blame the villains in the Red Hood movie. "If I want to cry because my BFF was kidnapped... well... that's my own damn business!"
Arther soon to not be West gasped! "Kidnapped?! Someone has kidnapped my sexy, funny and smart Wally?"
"Dude he's funny but I wouldn't really say 'sexy or smart' I don't swim that way gill face."
"Who kidnapped the Flash? Why didn't you stop him?"
"It was one of your fish villains. Because he took Wally in to the ocean and the water is cold."
"Blast you humans and your sensitively to cold water. I will save Flash!"
And with that exposition AquaLeotard jumped high in to the air and swan dived in to the ocean.
Batman pops up with a score card reading 9.6 and smacks it over Dick's head. "Got back to waving your sexy ass at crazy lunatics. So I can punch them."
Meanwhile...
Wonder Woman bitch slaps Superman around screaming "I'm not a lesbian!"
Meanwhile else where...
"Mu wa haa haa. I will use this human super speed to create tornadoes that will upset the balance of nature that has something to do with the polar ice caps melting and this will some how give me the power to rule the world. Even though it would be way to much work for one person and even with 20 or so people all coming to talk around a table, shit still doesn't get done."
He looked to Flash, who was trapped in an air bubble prison and even though he could breath being really really deep under water the pressure was kind of hard to breath in but not as bad as holding your breath in space, no seriously what the crap was that shit?
"Also I find myself strangely attracted to you."
Flash blinked at this "Oh must be the hot rod red suit. I think some fish pick attractive mates by the brightness of their colors..." He pulls off his mask and scratches his cute light red hair "Or is that peacocks?" hee hee he said peacocks.
SUDDENLY! There was a crash though the cave "What the Bleep!" Yes having a school of shrimps crash through your cave will scare you so bad that you'll censer yourself. The shrimp disappears like smoke and da da da ...ta da... na na na... what's AquaMan's theme music?
"Unhand that sexy red head!" The grate fish Queen command 'ith. "Never! He is mine! And we will make babies together!" Shouted the evil water villain
"Woooh... dude I'm open minded and all... but I... Don't know if I'm really to adopted." Flash waved his hands in front of him "I mean I still collect Green Lantern decoder rings."
Arther waved his hands in front of him shooing a shrimp away "Non sense! You will make a great Father!"
"You really think so? Wow. I don't think anyone has ever said that to me."
"Enough! This has gone on for far to long and no one has had any sex."
"Well I had lots of merSex before coming here."
"That was off screen so it's un cannon!"
AquaMan raged! He had waited long enough to get in to Flash's spandex and he would not WAITS no more (waits is a real word, Popeye the sailor man says it all the time)
With that he poked, poked and poked some more! Till the evil villain was filled with holes and the shrimp all swam up to a hole each to eat away until the villain was no more.
"Eww... fish are creepy." Wally shivered. And so the god like strong and rouged Merman freed the speedster "Now Wally I have saved you and we will marry and you will Father my babies!"
"Dude... still don't know about that..."
"You can stick it in my butt."
"Ok."
And so AquaMan became the new Miss. West of the cost. They had a beautiful wedding on the beach of Florida where NightWing as Flash's BestMan because that's what BFFs are for. Then Wally went to live with Arther in his water kingdom where he put it in Arther's butt many times and gave birth to a school (that's fish number for a dozen) speedy guppy babies.
THE EAD!