Stupid, Dumb, Creepy, Spanish

Chapter One - 3,089 words

Eat a tomato and enjoy. Also, rapini does exist and I did not make it up.

Fresh spinach, porcini mushrooms, some nice rapini, garlic... what the hell?

"Where's the garlic?" Lovino snapped.

His fellow chef flinched a little at his harsh tone. He was new and he wasn't used to his harsh manner yet.

"Uh-uh," he stammered.

"Don't be so mean, Lovi!"

Lovino froze, his eyes wide with a horrified mix of annoyance, shock and disgust.

"Not you!"

Antonio giggled.

"Shut up! I'm busy! Go away!"

"I don't think you want me to go away, love. I have your garlic-" Lovino whirled around, stirring spoon in hand, gripping it the way he'd grip a weapon. And in his hand, it was a weapon. He lunged at Antonio, but the Spaniard backed away quickly, laughing. This laughter soon died out however, as he narrowly avoided a chef walking behind him. "Sorry," he turned to apologize to the chef, giving Lovino the oppurtunity to grab him around the waist and "save the garlic from the tomato bastard." Meaning he tried to wrestle the bottle free.

"Aww, no fair!" Antonio whined. "But I do like the way you're clinging to me-"

"What? No I'm not!" Lovino shouted angrily, drawing the attention of several of the chefs, who looked up, then down hastily so as to avoid the furious little Italian's angry gaze. "Give me the damn bottle!" Antonio wouldn't give it up, though. He giggled, scooting back and using one hand to keep Lovino back. "I have to work! Seriously!" Lovino shouted. "Give it to me, damnit!"

Antonio gave it to him, though he regretted the moment Lovino let go of his waist and turned his back on him immediately.

"Aww, Lovi, you're so cold-"

"What did I say about calling me Lovi, you stupid bastard? Do you want to know how many ways I can kill you in a kitchen? I'm working right now, damnit! Unlike you, I have a job!"

Antonio bit his bottom lip, hurt for a moment.

But it didn't last long. It never did.

That grin, that "shit-eating, infuriating grin" as Lovino not so kindly told him constantly, formed on his face and he leaned against an unoccupied counter.

He was happy just being around Lovi, even if the young Italian didn't want him around.

But he knew Lovino really did want him around! He just acted so cold because he didn't know how else to act!

"So cold, Lovi," Antonio whimpered. "Why are you so mean to me? I came all the way here to see you!"

Lovino ignored him and he pouted.

He did feel a little guilty though. He wasn't supposed to be here in the first place. The only reason he was allowed to, was because his boyfriend was here and because Lovino's coworkers liked him. But it was seemed like Lovino didn't want him here. He frowned at his boyfriend for a moment as he began cooking again, without another glance at the Spaniard. But he couldn't frown at his sweet little tomato for very long! And who could frown at the Italian with an apron around his waist as he bustled around the kitchen? It was so cute! Lovino looked like such a wife. Well, a wife with a quick temper. But he wasn't complaining! In fact, the temper was the cutest thing about Lovino. Well, besides those rare tender moments they have after they made love. Now those moments were the best. Best moments of Lovino, best moments of Antonio, best moments of their relationship, best moments of their lives. Well, Antonio's life, anyway. That's just how he felt about it. He didn't know how Lovino felt, since his boyfriend rarely voiced such thoughts.

The thing about Lovino, was that he was very hard to read. And he never showed any emotion besides irritation and anger, so the rest were left to mystery. Open to intepretation. Which was why so many people misunderstood him.

"Stop staring at me!"

Antonio chuckled and looked away.

His eyes straying to the fiery-haired and fierce-hearted Italian he'd fallen in love with at first sight.

They'd met at a cooking class.

Antonio had been learning how to cook and Lovino had been learning to cook better.

Antonio had been happily oblivious as always. And being a bit of a clutz as well as an "oblivious fucking idiot," he slipped on a red tomato that had slipped off the table and plopped unnoticed onto the tiled floor at one point.

He'd flailed.

And taken down the person who happened to be walking beside him.

He grabbed the person and accidently yanked them down with him as he fell. All of his weight hit the other person, who groaned, completely winded, since he'd taken the brunt of the fall. The person hit the ground and Antonio landed on top of him. Because it was a him. The young man in front of him coughed and sat up, wincing and rubbing his back. Antonio started to apologize, but as he learned, Lovino wasn't the shy type who'd stutter nervously and stammer as they accepted an apology.

"Ow! You fucking oblivious idiot! Watch what the fuck you're doing, you stupid ass bastard! That fucking hurt!" the brunette hissed violently at him. Antonio had fallen directly over him. The Spaniard had fallen on all fours and he immediately leaned in closer. "And you don't fucking look at the fucking floor, I saw that tomato from a mile away- what the hell are you doing?" the brunette shouted as Antonio leaned uncomfortably close, kissing-distance close.

"And who are you? You're an awfully cute guy-"

"Cute? I'll show you cute, you-"

And Antonio would fondly remember that day as the first intimate contact he'd had with Lovino.

Because Lovino had leapt on him and started to wrestle him, grabbing his neck and banging his head against the floor.

Antonio remembered not feeling pain, but awe.

Such a pretty face, even when contorted with rage. Such a beautiful body pressed against his, bending and waving almost tantalizing. But mainly, it was the eyes.

Those beautiful, deep eyes.

Angry on the outside, but only hiding what lie on the inside.

Furiously beautiful, on the outside.

Antonio may not be able to sense the mood, but he definitely knew that Lovino was hiding inside himself.

Because surely no one could be this angry because of an accident, right?

He knew from that moment that there was a spark between them. Even if they were opposites, or perhaps because they were, he felt attracted to him.

But Lovino had hated him instantly.

And Antonio had fallen in love with him. Not mutually. Or at least, Lovino didn't make it seem mutual. He cussed and threw things and called him a bastard whenever he visited. Antonio had visited his house almost every day, trying his best to get Lovino on a date. But that wasn't the main reason. The main reason for visiting him so often was just to be near him. He just felt the need to be around his love, the object of his affections. He'd fallen in love, and fallen hard. He didn't need to have Lovino. He just needed to see him, talk to him, laugh at his ferocity. But needs and wants are two different things, and he found himself wanting more. And he would come every day, in the hopes that Lovino would someday appreciate the company.

At first, it seemed like his efforts were for nothing. Lovino always seemed annoyed with him. Several times, he'd been kicked off his property with threat of "calling the fucking police on your creepy Spanish ass."

But then, one day, Antonio hadn't come.

At that point, Lovino had gotten used to see the Spaniard outside his house, even if it had been shocking and creepy the first time. He'd gotten used to the moronic Spaniard chattering to him as he worked, whether in his kitchen at home or at the restaurant. He'd gotten used to the Spaniard, who couldn't seem to grasp the concept of "boundaries." He'd gotten used to that pining, pouting Spanish face every time he pushed him away whenever their faces got too close or when he felt a body pressed up against his back.

So when he wasn't there, and Lovino was alone, the house seemed so much emptier than before.

And the restaurant seemed so much less inviting.

And this confused him.

Not once had Lovino remembered feeling affectionate towards the Spaniard.

Not once.

So why did he miss him?

Did he miss the aggravation? Did he miss seeing that shit-eating grin? That awful, awful, awful grin on his silly face that always lightened up his face whenever he saw him... oh. Maybe that was why.

Most people thought he was hard to deal with. A real pain in the ass. A difficult person.

Most people frowned or scowled or looked scared whenever he was present. Maybe seeing those faces formed his own hard personality. Maybe he was the way he was so that those faces couldn't hurt him anymore.

And now, for the first time, he saw a smiling face.

Smiling right at him.

Happy to see him.

Joy in those wide, caring eyes.

He wasn't sure how to feel about this.

It had only seemed right to act the way he always acted.

But now... now he was afraid he'd pushed the Spaniard away.

When he saw Antonio again, leaning against his garage door with an infuriating grin on his face, he hadn't even taken the keys out of his car. He jumped out of his car and lunged at the man, shoving him hard against the bumpy metal. "Lo-?"

"Where the hell were you?" Lovino had demanded.

"Did you miss me?"

"I-" Antonio tilted his head. This was as close as he'd ever gotten to his object of obsession. His Lovi had pinned him against something for once, not the other way around. And he felt a flicker of excitement. Something had changed, he could tell. Lovino had missed him!

Finally, he was seeing an emotion! Finally he could see if Lovino really hated him or... just didn't know how else to act.

And it was obvious.

He was right.

Lovino wasn't as cold as everyone believed.

"I-I didn't- well I... where the hell were you?"

"I was sick and couldn't come to work or-"

Lovino had kissed him.

Angrily, bitingly, almost painfully.

And Antonio had loved it.

Loved the feeling of harsh teeth on his lips.

In the pain, he felt the aggression.

But he felt the passion as well.

It was fiery, angry-loving passion.

"I guess you did miss me," Antonio had gasped.

"Shut up," Lovino growled. He reached up, fingers tangling in Antonio's hair and yanking his head down and connecting their lips again.

That was the first time they'd had sex. It had been angry sex, furious sex. Lovino had been so pissed. He could've beaten the crap out of Antonio. But Lovino hadn't been sure exactly why he was so angry at that moment.

Was it because Antonio had left him alone, for once?

Was it because he was confused about his feelings?

Was it because he simply didn't know how else to feel?

Why was he always so...angry? It was second-nature and he never pondered the question anymore, not 'till now. And why now? Was it because this was the first time he'd actually felt happy? And he didn't know why, so he'd been forced to question it? And now that he questioned it, it was rather strange, wasn't it? How many people could be as constantly angry as he was? All the time, every time?

Anger. It was his default feeling.

And Antonio was the only person who didn't seem to mind.

Antonio appreciated angry sex, especially from Lovino. Definitely the best night of his life. Angry sex seemed even more passionate than gentle sex to him.

And Lovino had definitely been pissed. Antonio wasn't sure why, but he didn't care.

They'd had a fun night and the evidence would be there in the morning, bruises on their skin and cuts on their slightly bruised lips. Evidence Antonio would gleefully point out to himself to remember that yes, last night had really happened and had not been a wet dream.

Lovino would claim it was just sexual tension, repressed for a long time and finally released. Well, that was all he'd admit out loud.

Antonio would claim it was love.

Lovino had hit him over the head with a frying pan the first time he heard him say it, the morning after, when he'd been about to cook his pancakes.

But he hadn't denied it.

And Antonio would always remember what Lovino had said that night.

They were both breathing hard after their fun little activity and were lying in Lovino's bed.

Lovino wouldn't look at Antonio, but he didn't mind. Instead he settled on wrapping his arms around the Italian's torso and burying his tanned nose into his skin. Lovino didn't push him away. Instead, he stroked Antonio's arm. "I did miss you," he whispered. "And I don't for the life of me know why."

Antonio had giggled.

"I'm glad you missed me. But I think I missed you even more."

"You bastard. How could you leave me alone?"

Lovino knew he was being unfair. He knew nothing he said was making sense and there was no way Antonio could've known his number or come over to his house while he was sick.

But really, he wasn't furious at Antonio.

He was furious at himself.

He hadn't had sex... in a long time.

He hadn't felt love like this... ever.

Why Antonio? Why the fuck did it have to be Antonio? Where the hell did this even come from? They barely knew each other!

"What the hell is wrong with me?" he groaned out loud. "I don't even like you! I barely know you!"

"Maybe you'd like to know me better, then. Besides, when it's true love, you don't need much reason or time or-!"

"Where the hell did you get true love? You fucked me and that's all this is!"

"Sure. If you'd like to believe that, you silly tomato. Don't worry. I'll take things slowly for you. I won't rush you. But just so you know, I fell in love with you in about four seconds. You know, the first time we were 'intimate'."

"What are you-? Are you talking about when I beat you up in that cooking class?"

"Si! It was the best moment- well, no. An hour ago was the best moment of my life. And I hope to have many, many more hours like that-"

"Shut up, you creepy pervert."

But what really stuck inside his mind, the one memory that he'd cling to until the day he died, was what Lovino had whispered, so quietly Antonio was sure he was hoping that the low volume would make it false, "I think I love you."

And Antonio hadn't replied.

Let him get used to the thought.

Let him think about it a little longer.

Let him think about it, late into the night and let those words fill the room until he was sure.

And then, that moment would truly be the happiest moment of Antonio's life.

Back in the present...

Antonio hummed happily, watching Lovino's face get redder and redder.

With rage?

"What do you want?" Lovino barked. He stirred his polenta furiously, not because he needed to, just that he was doing his best to look busy. No, fuck that, he was busy!

"I just wanted to see you," Antonio shrugged.

"I'm busy now. We can talk later, alright?" Lovino said gruffly.

"Okay. What about lunch time?" Antonio asked, that shit-eating grin on his face again. Luckily Lovino wasn't looking. But he could almost hear that grin and he gritted his teeth.

"Fine."

"Ha! I got you! It's lunch time right now!"

"Urgh, you stupid bastard! I meant later, on my break, alright? Now get your stupid face out of the kitchen! You're in the way!"

"No he's not!"

"Yeah lighten up, little dude!"

"You have the sweetest boyfriend!"

"Who asked you?" Lovino growled underneath his breath.

Antonio was used to these growls however, and heard it immediately.

"Aw, don't be so grim, mi amor. Tu lavas las manos y podemos ir a comer."

"Idiot, I can't just leave to have lunch with you," Lovino said.

"Okay, I'll wait. I was planning it from the beginning."

"Oh, you were planning to come and annoy me? Is that how you spend your days? Planning how and when you're going to- hey, this is a kitchen!"

"I know what kind of room it is," Antonio murmured, his face buried in his Lovino's waist. He'd grabbed the smaller Italian around the waist and hauled him over his shoulder.

"Let me go!"

"I'm kidnapping him for the rest of the day," Antonio proclaimed. "Any objections?"

"No, he skipped his lunch break earlier. He's such a workaholic. I don't know why he hasn't left before now-"

Lovino struggled, trying to get his feet back on the ground. "Let go, let go, let go! Someone help! Let go of me, you silly bastard!" He glared furiously at his coworkers, but mostly, he was pissed at how undignified he looked.

"We're going to have so much fun today! I'm kidnapping yooooouuuu!" Antonio sang.

"Put me down!"

But Antonio ignored him, carrying the protesting Italian through the restaurant.

Lovino blushing as several eyes turned and stared at him unabashedly.

"This is so embarrassing," Lovino hissed at Antonio. "Have you no shame?"

"Why be ashamed? I have a beautiful Italian over my shoulder. If anything, they're jealous! Silly tomato..."

"Fu-!"

This is pretty random. No plot to speak of either... yeahhhhhhh.