Hey there! Here's a new Yu-Gi-Oh oneshot I cooked up one day while I was listening to the song "Whiskey Lullaby", which to me is an awesome song to listen to, as well as be inspired to write stories, oneshots and poems by (along with a variety of songs), and is performed by Brad Paisley and Alison Krauss.

As this is AU, it's set in California – Los Angeles, to be precise. Yami has his own body, and still has his Shadow Powers as well (although, since there aren't any bad guys in this one, he doesn't need to use them much; but they are there when he needs them to be).

Plus, this is Regalshipping (Yami Yugi x Mai Valentine). I looked to see if there were any stories or oneshots with that pairing, and there were only ten so far the last time I checked. So I decided to try my hand at Regalshipping myself, and this is what I came up with. Hope you like it! :)

Warning – there's mentions of pole dancing, and being a male exotic dancer here. If that's not to your liking, then don't read, please.

Disclaimer: Genius Kazuki Takahashi owns Yu-Gi-Oh. The lyrics to Here for the Party by Gretchen Wilson at the beginning of this oneshot belong to their respective owners. I own the songfics, oneshots, ficlets, stories, crossovers and poems that I cook up from time to time.

Being Straddled By a Former Pharaoh

Well, I'm an eight-ball shooting,

double fisted, drinking son of a gun
I wear my jeans a little tight
Just to watch the little boys come undone

I'm here for the beer

and the ball-bustin' band
Gonna get a little crazy

just because I can

{Chorus}
You know I'm here for the party
And I ain't leavin' til they throw me out
Gonna have a little fun, gonna get me some
You know I'm here, I'm here for the party

-Gretchen Wilson, Here for the Party

His red eyes glowing in his handsome face, Yami, wearing his usual outfit – a non-sleeved black shirt, a blue jacket over the shirt, blue pants and matching solid blue boot-like shoes – straddled the beautiful brunette sitting on the red couch and gripped her shoulders as he then began to sway gently on her. Back and forth, not up and down like he'd read the women would do when they were in the position known as the "cowgirl" or the "woman on top" when they were with a guy.

For the girls, there was one thing Yami knew would turn them on and bring out the urge they so often had – namely their wish to turn their bodies, as well as their positions, around and make it so that they were the ones on top. And that was none other than the rhythm he would set. It was different with every female patron there, but their wishes were all the same – at least to him anyway.

He knew this all too well; after all, he was their favorite, the person they would choose out of all the male dancers. Sometimes he would simply and gently push them back down and place a single fingertip on their lips before whispering in that voice that would first take on a husky tone before speaking of desire, wantonness, and promises-namely promises of pleasure that, he would purr into their ears, would be beyond their wildest dreams yet, before he would cluck into their ears and tell them "Look, but don't touch. Remember that".

His hips moved smoothly as the scales of a snake as they moved across the girl's pelvis. She laid her head up against the back of the red couch and closed her eyes, feeling nothing but sparks of pleasure, while Yami's skilled fingers did their job and worked their magic (a good choice of words, now that she thought about it). Now, they had started with a gentle grip on her hips. Then they moved up her sides and smoothly and soundlessly up to her shoulders, making the hairs on her skin rise up at the touch. Finally, she then felt Yami's teeth in her throat (even though it didn't hurt and she knew it), and the scent of his cologne – probably Someday by Justin Bieber, although she wasn't sure yet – was quite overpowering, especially when it came to her senses. She couldn't help but moan at the pleasurable sensations that Yami was causing.

Yami for his part simply smirked. He liked how the girls would always fall for him, no matter how hard they tried not to. His crimson eyes seemed to be full of secrets – secrets that he knew the girls dared not tell themselves – let alone each other. It was something he knew very well.

Yami's line of work was being a male exotic dancer; his stage name was Crimson (which fit him quite well because of his red eyes). He worked at a cabaret club called the Crazy Horse. Speaking of which, in Yami's mind, the Crazy Horse looked more like a cross between a sheik's palace and an Arabian sultan's harem rather than a cabaret club. For one thing, well, he noticed that there were so many females – usually around young ages between teens and their twenties. To him, they all looked so beautiful. And there was another thing – whenever they thought he wasn't noticing (when he really was), they would get together in small groups of two or three each and basically whisper and laugh quietly to each other – which was usually when they weren't casting furtive looks around their drinks, their boyfriends and each other at him, that is.

He usually danced around the pole on the stage – fully clothed, though, as he had a thing about modesty, which both the bouncers and the patrons felt they couldn't agree more with (as one of the bouncers once confided to him when he showed up an hour early for work one night). And whenever another male dancer took to the pole, Yami gave lap dances to the females. Though they tried their best not to, they would fall for his exotic good looks and the crimson orbs set in a face that many of them would call "handsome" anyway. After all, they had no choice.

****Some time later****

Wearing her favorite outfit – purple, of course – it was no surprise, however, that Mai Valentine couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe her luck. Not one single tiny bit. Of all the places she could've gone to in order to relax and simply just enjoy herself, she had to pick out the place known to all as the Crazy Horse.

Well, it did sound good to her at the time. And she had heard rumors of a well-known male exotic dancer that, according to the stories that spread via word of mouth like a wildfire, was able to effortlessly charm the ladies and simply just make them relax with either one touch from his hands (said by some of them to feel sizzling hot, but not too hot) or those red eyes of his (that could charm even a man with a violent tendency into behaving himself for either one night, or quite possibly maybe for a lifetime; she wasn't sure which, of course).

Her imagination fired up by so many fantasies (no doubt caused by those stories), which in turn painted neat pictures in her brain, and intrigued by the stories she had been told, Mai then made up her mind. She would go to the Crazy Horse and see for herself if the stories about the famous male dancer that could make the girls and women fall for him had some truth to them or not...

Almost like a detective on the trail of proving whether or not a story is either made up, or real, she thought, and mentally smiled to herself at how almost similar those two were.

And now, she was here. In a private room of the Crazy Horse. Sitting on a red couch, with so many comforts that it was hard for her to count them all. Even the music that was currently playing – an easy listening piece called Eternal Truth by Blue Cliff Ensemble – sounded quite nice to hear also.

As Mai laid her head back on the couch and let her thoughts go where they wanted, she couldn't help but think of the crimson-eyed male dancer she had heard rumors about. Most of them weren't exactly true – I mean, the dancer being from Mars and those red orbs being fake? Come on. Other women might've been gullible to believe those stories, but Mai was different. She wasn't stupid, and she knew it. She was a smart woman, and it was said that she was very alluring, although she had high standards for some unknown reasons.

But the other stories she had picked up with her sharp hearing – especially the one where the male dancer wore a cologne called "Someday" that was by the singer Justin Bieber-who Mai had also heard about – were quite true. After all, she could smell the cologne on her friends when they came back from the Crazy Horse late at night.

She was then pulled out of her thoughts when she looked up and saw... the owner of the crimson eyes that she had been thinking for so long about. But before she could speak a word, he reached down and placed a single fingertip to her lips before pulling it away, and then placed one leg over her left hip while doing the same with the other-thus straddling her.

"Please," his baritone voice said as the words he spoke seemed to take the form of musical notes that seemed to come alive and flow through the room like fine perfume before swirling around her, "call me Yami. Crimson is my stage name-mostly because of my eyes. A perfect fit, I believe."

How did he know I was going to ask that? Mai wondered to herself in her head. In no way was she able to look away from those beautiful crimson eyes of his. They captured her, held her attention-but in a good way-and seemed to tell her secrets that she basically was too afraid to find out. With that, Mai simply laid her head back as Yami's talented hands then began to work their magic moving up and down and all around her skin.

"Yami."

Yami smiled at the sound of his name and simply kept up his enchanting touches. Then he began to move his hips from side to side, grinding against her own hips. It took all of Mai's strength to keep from moaning. Noticing this, Yami then bent to her throat and bit the skin lightly. This, combined with the cologne he was wearing, finally released the moan from her throat, and Yami pulled away, his trademark smirk still adorning his face while still moving from side to side on her lap.

"How's that feel, Mai?" he purred.

Mai sucked in her breath as her mauve eyes flew open. She wanted to ask him how he knew her name without her even telling his name. Maybe he just knew who she was, and she didn't know until now.

"How-how did you-?"

Yami winked. "It's simple, Mai," he explained as he reached up and gently stroked her face. "I know all about you – the loneliness you felt as a little girl-although I must say, you looked quite beautiful even then-the having to work on a cruise ship by dueling other guys with your Harpy Ladies, and basically feeling left out, as though you were never enough.

"I sensed you would come to me tonight," he added while he got off her lap causing her to moan at the loss of contact, and then – after sitting beside her – gently grasping the back of her head and positioning it so that she was laying with her head on his lap. "After all, I was getting quite bored and lonely with the usual customers always wanting some of my time. When you came along into this club, I felt excited-almost as though my birthday had come quite earlier than usual. I decided to show you that I can be quite-well, flirty, to be precise."

Mai looked up into Yami's now smiling face admiringly as he ran his fingers through her yellow locks. If there was one thing she found out for herself tonight, it was that he sure knew how to put things into words very well.

"Wow," she said after a few moments of silence. It was the only thing she could think of to say. Yami smiled at her silence. Dipping his head, he placed his lips over hers. Mai was quite surprised at the kiss. Too drunk-but with desire rather than alcohol as she had never touched a drop of alcohol in her life-to offer any resistance to the spell of the enchanting male above her, she gave herself up willingly, almost gladly.

Reduced to a near swoon by the almost rhythmic exploring of her hot caverns by his skilled tongue, she pulled him close and he responded in kind, his hands now roaming up and down her back. His head swam with the beautiful scent of her perfume and how she looked – so beautiful, like a modern-day Cleopatra-but different. Yet inside her real self stayed, wanting to come out and show herself, and yet still staying in hiding and wanting to stay away because of fear and because of being picked on.

After Yami pulled his mouth away so Mai could take a few deep breaths of air, he said,

"I sense that this isn't the real you, Mai, but then again maybe your real self is still inside you. She wants to come out, but fear and being picked on keep her from doing so. Maybe you just need the proper man to pull her out of you.

"Let me be that man."

Mai looked at Yami, puzzled, while he simply smirked. Then, before she knew it he began to show her how much he intended to keep that promise...

Wow. Did I just write all that? If it is that good and/or well-written, be sure to let me know, please. I must warn you, though – flames will not be tolerated at all.

I dedicate this to all fans of Regalshipping out there. :)

Well, R&R, please! Thanks. :)

~Nightcrawlerlover