This is not a complete story. It is more of a setup for future stories. At the moment I have no definite plans for continuation, but if ideas come I can add chapters to Kim's attempts at turning her new venture, It's Possible, into a professional operation.
Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners.
You Rub Me the Wrong Way
"I liked the good old days," Kim commented as she and Ron rode to Zatari Embassy in the back of a US diplomatic limo, "when we worked for free."
"But we couldn't keep doing it for free," Ron reminded her. "Unless we wanted to sponge off our parents. But I agree with you, it was more fun when it wasn't a job." "And a lot more fun when we were dating. This 'Ron, we have to keep our relationship professional' sucks."
"I still don't see why the Sheik flew in from Zatari and we need an audience with him," Kim repeated to Ruby Walker, their State Department liaison. "Our colleague, Wade Load, normally just sends a bill based on the difficulty of the job and the client's ability to pay."
"The Sheik made the request himself. The US wants to maintain good relations with all the Gulf sheikdoms, you don't want to show disrespect," the woman told her.
"Do we at least get lunch out of this?" Ron asked.
"Uh, sorry. The Sheik only scheduled fifteen minutes for the meeting."
"He flies over, and only gives us fifteen minutes?" Ron responded, incredulously. "And no lunch?"
"We haven't figured out the working of the Arab mind," the woman from the State Department admitted. "Maybe I can take the two of you out for lunch after the audience, a local buffet or something."
"That isn't nec–" Kim began.
"Boo-yah!" Ron interrupted, "I'm up for that."
The trio were ushered into the office of the ambassador, who thanked them profusely while they awaited the arrival of the Sheik. A muffled gong sounded and the ambassador bowed low as a door opened and a slender man of medium height in an expensive silk suit entered the room, followed by two men the size and build of Shaquille O'Neil whose dark glasses and grim expressions screamed, "Bodyguards." One of the men carried a metal case. Ron guessed the contents of the case were something explosive.
The Sheik launched into a long speech, in Arabic, which none of the three Americans understood. After about ten minutes (and suddenly Ron was glad the ceremony was only scheduled for fifteen minutes) he switched to English, "But words alone can not convey the debt I feel I owe to It's Possible for their recent labors on my behalf. Ms. Possible, I have a gift, a valuable–"
"No gifts are necessary," Kim told him. "You realize your staff paid a bill for our services?"
The slender man smiled, "Neither words nor the simple exchange of money provides a proper response. This gift–"
"Is not necessary," Kim insisted.
"Take it!" the woman from the State Department whispered loudly. "Don't insult him!"
"No further payment is necessary," Kim sighed, "but I am honored by your attention to Team Possible for our efforts, and I accept your generous gift."
He smiled, "Thank you," and nodded slightly to Kim then raised his right arm and snapped his fingers.
The body guard holding the metal case held it out, and his companion opened it. A bronze lamp, with a patina of great age fitted the padded interior. The guard holding the case stepped forward, for Kim and Ron to see the contents.
"An antique lamp," the slender man told them. "Age, uncertain. Value, unknown and incalculable. Some might consider it a treasure, but beauty is always in the eye of the beholder."
(In the eye of Ron it looked like a piece of junk, a garage sale reject. But as long as the bill for services rendered was paid to It's Possible's for their services he wasn't going to object.)
The Sheik took the case from the hands of his bodyguard. Before extending it toward Kim he asked, "Ms. Possible, you accept this gift?"
"Yes."
"Please forgive me, but I observe the ancient custom of my people and must repeat the question. You accept the lamp I now offer?"
"Yes."
"Freely and of your own will, you accept the lamp?"
The repetition puzzled Kim, but Ruby, standing at her side, hissed, "Say yes!"
"I accept the lamp."
The Sheik smiled broadly and handed her the case with a bow. "Words can not repay my debt," he assured her, then turned and with his guards behind him left the ambassador's room.
Ron wasn't positive, but he thought the Arab was humming the old civil rights song, "Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty I'm free at last," as he departed.
The ambassador repeated his thanks, and the Americans were ushered out by an embassy staff member.
At the buffet Kim and Ruby Walker got into a conversation as Ron continued to go back for more plates of food. The two women were discussing something about Indonesia when he was finally full. He had nothing to contribute to the conversation, but they were engrossed so he decided to take a look at the lamp.
It certainly looked old. Maybe it was an antique. Something caught his eye, was that mark a much-worn seal of Solomon? He took a napkin and tried to polish the spot for a clearer view.
A green smoke which smelled of pistachios and honey swirled from the lamp and coalesced into the figure of a shapely woman with pale green skin wearing a diaphanous and terribly revealing (at least in terms of a DC buffet) outfit.
The woman gave Kim a hungry look, "Appears ol' Abdul got it right – won't need any revenge. What do you want, Master? Rub down with scented oil? Candle-lit dinner followed by walk along in the beach? Or just want to hop into bed?"
Kim blushed crimson.
"Hey," Ron protested, "I'm holding the lamp!"
"So, bubbeleh? That and three fifty will get you a knish."
"But–"
"Did you accept the lamp, or was it red here?"
"It was Kim, but–"
"So stop your kvetching and let my pretty Master," the green woman sensuously ran her hand up Kim's arm, "tell me what she wants. Any ideas pop into your head, Master? Want me to give you some suggestions?"
"Go back in the lamp."
"No."
"No? but–"
"I've never been very good at following orders I don't like. It's part of my charm."
"Could you ask her to make me a milk shake?" Ron requested
"Ron! I'm trying–"
"Please, KP?'
"Ron, this has got to be some kind of fake! Genii don't exist. And her English is too good. She–"
"I watch a lot of American television," the green woman explained. "Gets boring as hell in that lamp. Now, how about some nice idea for the two of us?"
"Have her make me a milk shake," Ron repeated.
"Fine," Kim grumbled, "will you make him a milk shake? Please?"
The green woman grinned, "Your wish is my suggestion." She turned to Ron, "Alakazam!" At Ron's spot at the table there was now a milk shake, but no Ron. She turned to Kim, "Don't need the Alakazam, but I think it sounds good."
"Where's Ron?" Kim demanded.
"He's right there," the woman said, pointing at the milk shake.
"But–"
"You asked me to make him a milk shake. Well, duh, he's a milk shake."
"Turn him back! Turn him back!"
The green woman narrowed her eyes and grinned, "What's in it for me?"
"What do you mean?"
"Exactly what it sounded like. I'll bring him back cheap. One kiss is all it takes."
"No kiss. Can't I just order you to do it?"
"You can try. Keep in mind that if you get too bitchy you might piss me off, and then you're like ol' Abdul – looking for some poor sucker to accept the lamp."
"Other options?"
The green woman licked her lips nervously, she didn't want to appear too eager. Doing her best to sound casual she suggested, "You might, oh, let me enter and leave the lamp whenever I want while you're my master."
"That's it, just let you enter and leave the lamp?"
"Yep."
"Okay, you can enter and leave the lamp. Now turn Ron back."
"Not quite so easy. See, you have to say it three times first."
"I'll say it three times after you turn Ron back."
The genie hesitated. "Don't make me angry by backing out," she warned.
"I always keep my word."
The green woman turned to the milk shake, "Alakazam!" Ron was back on the chair, he wrapped his arms around himself and shivered, his teeth chattering. She looked back to Kim. "You need to say three times, I freely allow you to go as you wish."
"You say that's as long as I'm your Master?"
"Them's the rules, Princess. Now hit me wit' dem magic words."
"I freely allow you to come and go as you wish, as long as I'm your Master. I freely allow you to come and go as you wish, as long as I'm your Master. I freely allow you to come and go as you wish, as long as I'm your Master."
"Well then, ciao, I'm back to my pad."
"Wait, what do I call you?"
"You can call me any time," the genie purred. "Or whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you, Princess? You just put your lips together and... blow."
"A name, do you have a name?"
"Oh I have lots of names, some of which you can't use on the family channel. You can call me Shego."
"What kind of name is Shego?" Ron asked through chattering teeth.
"One you can pronounce." And she was gone.
"What do you plan to do?" the Ruby asked.
"I'm not the Master type," Kim told her. "I'm going to lose the case."
"You could give it to me," Ron suggested.
Kim looked at him and raised one eyebrow.
"Okay, bad idea, KP. I wasn't thinking."
As they left the buffet Kim tried to leave the case. "This was at our table," she told the manager, "and–"
"Take it and go," he warned her. "My staff saw that scene. You disrupted everything."
A hotel stood across the street. Kim dashed in and told the clerk at the service desk, "This was outside your hotel." She put it down and slid it toward him. "You should put it in lost and–"
He looked frightened and slid it back, "Take it out! It could be a bomb! I'll call the police."
"You still have the case," Ron pointed out when she came out of the hotel.
"Let's get out of here. I don't want to explain this to the police."
"The police? What–"
"Just get us a taxi, Ron. Time to head to the airport."
Kim stuffed the metal case into a waste bin outside the terminal.
On the flight back to Middleton Ron suggested, "Want to see a movie tonight? I'll let you pick one out. Then we can have a drink afterward and–"
"Ron, we're partners. We've been best friends forever, but you know I want to keep my focus while we get It's Possible established and–"
"And so there's no time for me."
"We see each other every day. We work together."
"And if you're worried about expenses one apartment is cheaper than two."
"And then you give me your next line about one bed being less expensive than two."
"Oh, you've heard that one before?"
"Only about seven hundred times."
"Wait a minute, KP. I've only said that six hundred and fifty-seven times. Who was the guy you heard it from forty-three times?"
"What makes you think it was one guy? Maybe forty-three different guys each used it once. But I told them all you're the top of my list when I decide to get serious." She tapped him on the nose. "I can't imagine any other guy coming between us."
"Not even Josh?"
Kim pretended to think about it for a minute. "Not after he got married Tara. What do you think I am?"
"Wonderful," he assured her, "absolutely wonderful. How about movie with your number one guy, no drink and no afterward? Zatari paid great. We need to celebrate."
"You said my choice of movie?"
"My turn next time."
"You got it, partner."
He put an arm around her and she snuggled up against him, put her head on his shoulder and napped for the rest of the flight.
They'd left Ron's car at the Middleton airport. "Can I take you home?" he asked as they got in.
"No, better stop at the office, see if Wade has any jobs lined up."
"Yeah, and I got to pick up Rufus."
A surprise awaited them in the office. A metal case lay on the coffee table in their waiting area, and Shego sat in one of the chairs, her feet up on the coffee table as she leafed through a Human magazine.
"Wha?" Ron exclaimed.
"Oh, hey, Princess," Shego said, looking up, "I'm going to take that as you didn't want to explain me to the TSA, but don't let it happen again, capiche?"
"What's going on?" Wade called from his office. "She showed up here and... And what she's saying makes no sense."
"I always make sense," Shego insisted. "People are just too stupid to understand me."
Wade stormed out of his office. "My IQ is–"
"Is apparently not high enough. Hey, can I make you a milk shake?"
"What? I–"
"Say no," Kim ordered.
"Trust her," Ron seconded. "This is some sort of all-powerful genie."
"Well, not all-powerful," Shego admitted. "I spent a lot of time at genii school in detention for insubordination. And, uh, when I was in class I spent a lot of time filing my nails so, uh, sometimes the ol' magic works better than others."
"Genii school?" Wade asked.
"Well, I got in trouble. This big shot sorcerer was putting pressure on my family to force me to marry him, and when I told him to fuck off he–"
"You told a sorcerer to, um, off?" Ron asked.
"I'm translating for you. It was even better in the original. I could draw you a picture. Anyway telling him that seemed like a good idea at the time. He condemned me and my brothers; cursed us to–"
"Brothers?" Kim asked.
Shego shrugged, "Yeah, I guess its my fault. My older brother, he's such a suck up, he graduated genii school as valedictorian. I haven't seen the jerk in years. But enough about ancient history. Where's my office?"
Wade looked puzzled, "Your office?"
"Sure, everyone else has their office. I need one too."
"This suite only has three offices, a waiting area, and a snack room," Ron pointed out. "You can't have the snack room."
"Maybe I'll stick you there," Shego growled. "But your office sucks. Master has room in hers, maybe I'll move in with–"
"No," Kim told her firmly.
"You're no fun," Shego grumbled. "At least not yet. Maybe there..." She gestured at a blank wall near Kim's office, "Alakazam!"
There was now a door where the blank wall had been.
"That's impossible," Wade muttered. "There's no space behind that wall."
"Impossible is my middle name," Shego smirked. "Well, one of them anyway."
Wade went over and opened the door. There was a blank wall, no room, on the other side.
Ron laughed.
"Can it, malt-breath," Shego threatened. "I'll get it fixed... eventually. Room in the lamp right now." She leered at Kim, "Hey, Master, want to check out my place?"
"No, and we can't have someone who looks like you on It's Possible. You look like a harem girl, or a belly dancer, or something. That is so totally unprofessional."
The green woman shrugged and gestured down the length of her body with one hand. A tight leather suit, with green and black patches now clothed the woman.
Ron's jaw dropped it might not be as revealing as the initial outfit, but the the tight leather showed off every curve of the genie's figure. "Uh, KP, you know... There're times when magic might come in handy on a mission... I mean, I'm just thinking it would... Uh, you know."
"I know exactly what you're thinking," Kim snapped. "You're thinking a hot looking woman on the team would–"
"There's already a hot looking woman – you," Ron insisted. "But there're missions where magic might come in handy."
"Magic like the door to nowhere?" Kim asked, pointing at the open door with the blank wall behind.
"Let's not get personal," Shego protested
"Wade," Kim barked, "got any solo missions for me?"
"Well, the Upperton Pixie Scouts would love to have you at a muffin sale promotion tonight. It wouldn't pay anything, but–"
"But I'll take it," she told him. "Text me the details. I'm going home to change."
"But KP, we were going to see a movie."
That was before you wanted this witch on our team."
"I'm not a witch! I'm a genie."
"Were you ever a Pixie Scout?"
"No."
"Then you can stay here and work on your room skills."
"I was an honorary Pixie Scout," Ron interjected. "Can I–"
"Honorary doesn't cut it. I'm so out of here," Kim told him and stormed out.
"I'm going to text her the information," Wade announced and went back to his office – closed and locked the door.
"She always that high strung?" Shego asked Ron.
"She really wants this to work so, yeah, she's kind of tense these days."
"Hmmm, well, I know some things that would be marvelous to help her relax."
"Hey, I'm the boyfriend," Ron protested. "That's my job."
"You? Her boyfriend?" Shego snorted. "I don't think so."
"She told me today, no other guy will ever come between us!"
Shego pointed at her chest, "If you haven't noticed, I'm not a guy."
"No way! She... You really like girls?"
"Women. Girls will get you trouble. You like young girls?"
"No!" Ron exclaimed. "Women! I like women."
"Tell you what, be a good boy and help me get with Kim and maybe I'll let you watch."
He almost hesitated but came back quickly with, "No, no way! I'm her boyfriend."
"I'm not against a little competition..." She gave him a critical look, "And frankly, I'm sure you're even a little competition. More like a zero."
"Hey, you don't scare me. The best man will win."
"More like the best woman. Say, sport, I'm new in town. What's there to do in this dump? Somehow watching a Pixie Scout, whatever the hell that means, muffin promotion sounds more dull than television."
"Yeah, maybe just as well she went out by herself. Got a microbrewery with some good stuff. Rufus and I will probably head there for–"
"Rufus?"
"Rufus!" Ron called, "Rise and shine!"
There was a rustling noise from Ron's office and small pink creature emerged into the waiting room, blinking and stretching.
"Rufus is my buddy," Ron explained
"A man is known by his friends," Shego solemnly intoned.
"Yeah, I... Hey, was that a crack?"
Shego shrugged, "It is what it is. So, good beer where you're going?"
"Yeah... Want to come with us?"
"Sure. You're paying."
"Me? Pay for your own."
"They take drachms?"
"No."
"You're paying. Hey, you're getting the pleasure of my company."
"Can't you magic money up or something."
"Counterfeiting. You think Kim wants her partners getting busted on a Federal offense?"
"Fine, I'll pay," Ron grumbled, "but don't give me that pleasure of your company stuff."
Shego grinned and slapped him on the shoulder, "Ah, you are a miracle. A man who knows his place. Maybe I will let you watch when I'm with Kim."
"No way!" Ron protested as he scooped up Rufus and put him in a pocket. "I'm her guy." Then he and Shego headed out the door.
–The Beginning?–