-Intro-
I was about to give up for good, I swear it. It wasn't like me to be half so persistent, but I had to be sure. I had to allow myself one more try.
My fingers trembled horribly, and I had to hang up and redial twice before the familiar numbers finally appeared on my cellphone's illuminated screen.
Please, I begged, please pick up.
I listened for three rings that seemed like twenty. And then, so suddenly my heart stopped--
"Hello?"
I let myself breathe. It wasn't his voice, but one much older and almost as familiar.
"Hello, Mr. Black. This is Carissa calling. Is Jacob available?"
"One moment, Carissa." His voice was lower, almost grave. I realized that he must know everything, or close to it. I almost said, Tell him it's Bella calling. At least then, I'd know he'd answer, even if he hung up as soon as he heard my voice.
I strained my ears, but the other end of the line was completely silent. I didn't hear Jacob's father calling for him, or the phone being handed off. But after a while, I spoke tentatively.
"Uh... Hello?"
"Carrie."
His response was so quick and unexpected that I'm pretty sure I gasped audibly.
"I'm sorry," said the voice I'd been waiting too long to hear again. I wasn't sure if he was apologizing for startling me just then, or for the entire ordeal.
"Quit trying to forget I exist," I said. I meant it to sound demanding and forceful, but it echoed in my ears, sounding timid, and rather more like a vague suggestion.
"As if I could, even if I tried." The bitterness that usually soaked these little snapping comments through was diluted by something like exhaustion. I heard him sigh, sounding much too old.
I bit down on the inside of my cheek, searching for the next thing to say before I started crying. I knew I only had a little time before he hung up the phone, and I'd promised myself that this was my last shot. That I'd give up if this didn't work. "Jake," I began, "will you hear me out this time?"
"I already told you," he said, "it won't change anything."
"Then there's no harm in it, right?" I pleaded. "You're acting more like you're scared that it will change something. If you've made up your mind, you could at least give me a few minutes of your time to say what I have to say. It'll make me feel better, Jake." I repositioned the phone, shifting nervously in my desk chair. "Please?"
He was quiet for a long time. "Okay, Carrie. I'll listen."
My heart picked up its pace even as relief swept over me. He had almost sounded like his old self.
"Jake, I know there's a part of you that still... that still has feelings for me." I paused, listening for his steady breathing. I imagined his face changing as my words sunk in.
"I know it's hard for you right now, trying to move on. I want to help you get over her, Jake. I want to be there for you."
"You're talking about her like she's dead," he said. It wasn't an accusation. It was a monotonous observation.
"Does it hurt to know that she's happy? I mean, without you."
He hesitated several times before speaking. "I want her to be happy. What hurts is that she didn't choose true happiness. In the long run, she'll..."
While my statements had a tendency of melting into tears, Jacob always stopped himself before he got in too deep emotionally. Such a sensitive guy, but I'd never seen him cry.
"You're not choosing happiness either, Jake."
"It's not exactly an option."
That struck me like an arrow. My eyes glazed over. I tried to replace my pain with fury.
"Is there really something so horribly wrong with me that you couldn't be happy if we... that you couldn't be happy with me?"
"No."
He was full of surprises.
"Then why?"
He seemed to be struggling with the answer. "I'm... not... right for you, Carrie."
"If you aren't, then no one is."
"Maybe! That's what I thought about her!"
I took in a long, shaky breath. My thoughts kept getting scattered. I had spent so much time planning what I'd say to him if I got the chance, but now I couldn't remember any of it.
"Will you see me? Can we, you know, meet somewhere?" Here I was, drunk on hearing his voice again, but begging for more. I wanted to see his face.
"I don't... Geez, Carrie. I'll have to think about it."
"For how long?" I asked. "If I hang up, I'll have no way of knowing that you'll answer next time I call."
"Fair enough," he said. "I'll call you."
I raised my eyebrows exaggeratedly, even though he couldn't see me. "I'm not convinced."
"Trust me," he said.
Everything in me told me I had no reason to trust anything he said. How many times had he given me his word, and gone back on it? But in the end, I had no choice. He told me to trust him, and I did.
Author's Notes: So, I've been wanting to write a Twilight fanfic for a very long time now, but it took me a while to come up with a solid idea. I'm a pretty special case, I guess: I personally prefer Jacob, but I think that Edward is a better match for Bella. That complicated things, doesn't it? If only there were two Bellas. Then Edward and Jacob could both be happy. Haha. Since that's impossible, I'm going to have to be extremely creative if I am to succeed in this fanfic, because my ultimate goal is a happy ending for my beloved Jake. Although, if the story deviates from my original plan(as my wiritings tend to do), that may not happen at all. We'll see.
On another note, the intro to this was originally going to be a different scene. A very different, fanservice-y EdwardxBella scene. This will now be the beginning scene of the most chapter, unless I change my mind again, so... look forward to it? XD
Oh yes, and reviews are loved.