Michelle unlocked her front door to let them both in.
"Oh shoot, I've left something in the car, I'll be right back."
"Can't you get it later Michelle?"
"No, I won't be gone long. The couch is to your right, just wait there." And she disappeared.
Tony peered around as he stepped inside her apartment. Spotting the couch he headed for it, when he heard a knock on the door.

"You must be Tony," he heard as he opened the door barely given a chance to see who was standing there.
He blinked and looked at the woman standing in front of him.
"Is Michelle in?" she asked.
"Not just now, but she'll be back in a few minutes..." He watched confused as the woman reached behind her and put down a car seat in Michelle's apartment with a baby inside.
"Sorry, I really have to run. Tell Michelle I will see her tomorrow." And with that she was gone.
Tony took some steps backwards and looked at the car seat. He didn't understand. What was a baby doing in Michelle's apartment?
Then he walked closer and crouched down. The baby, awake, stared but not quite focussing on him and Tony gasped. Michelle's eyes. Then his own drifted down the baby's face. The nose that looked familiar to his when he was a baby and the lips that had a slight pout like Michelle's and finally, the skin colour. Tanned like his, but lighter. A mixture of him and Michelle.
Tony heard his heart thud heavily against his chest as he realised. His breathing sped up as his mind whirled and he stumbled backwards noticing the baby watching him.

Michelle locked her car door and made her way back toward the stairwell.
"See you tomorrow Michelle!" she heard a voice call-out.
She spun around and saw her babysitter Hannah exit the lift on the far side of the carpark.

TONY!

Michelle's eyes widened and she sprinted to the stairs thankful she changed into flat shoes before she drove them both back to hers.
It felt like like an eternity climbing the six flights of stairs before Michelle finally reached her floor. She sped down the corridor and saw her front door was open and almost skidded into her apartment.
Out of puff she saw Tony sat on the floor hugging his knees staring ahead of him. She paused for a moment to catch her breath and then she reached down to the baby, stroking the small tuft of hair and whispered softly.
Then, she turned her attention back to Tony.
"He's mine. Isn't he?" he croaked. His voice fraught with emotion.
She moved over, knelt down in front of him touching his hands and nodded. A sob threatening to escape her as she said "Yes."
Tony almost winced as the reality hit him. He has a son. The baby sat dressed in a blue & white breton striped baby suit was his son. Their son.
Who wanted his mommy and began to fuss.
"Tony, I need to feed him. Come with us to the couch."
He looked up at her, her eyes moist with tears. She squeezed his hand and went over to their son.
"Hello baby," she said in a gentle sing-song, kneeling down to unbuckle the straps of the car seat.
"You're my hungry boy aren't you, huh?" She scooped him up and carried him to the sofa.
Tony watched and noted the change in the tone of her voice. He had never heard her speak like that before. Soft but higher. Babylike. It strangely suited her.

He picked himself up off the floor and moved over to join them on the couch. Michelle was curled up in the corner, stroking the chubby cheek of their son with her forefinger as he fed. Feeling like he was in another zone, Tony plonked himself down at the opposite end. It felt awkward to him. Like he didn't belong in the moment. That his ex wife with a baby, wasn't real. The baby, a total stranger to him.

But when Michelle smiled at him, as their eyes met, he felt all the awkwardness disappear into thin air. She never looked at anyone, anyone like she did at him. And after all the shit he put her through, she still looked at him as if he was the only person in the room. Technically, apart from the baby, he was, but he chose to ignore that.

"There's a box under the couch Tony. Open it."
He didn't move.
"Tony." Her tone firmer now.
He reached down and felt around for the box with one hand and with both he pulled it from underneath and placed it between them on the couch.
He recognised it instantly. It was the box they had kept souvenirs from their "firsts" in. Medium sized, plain dark brown and wooden, it was filled with tickets, reciepts, pictures, napkins and such like from their first date to their first piece of wedding cake.
Only now, encarved on the front was "To Daddy".
He ran his fingers over the box, allowing them to trace over the writing. The words still a mystery to him. Then taking a deep breath, he opened it.
Inside, there was a book. "Carrying our son" was the title. His eyes watered a little at the words. "Carrying our son." She had carried their son. With shaking hands, he brought it out of the box and opened it. Like a magnet, his eyes were attracted to the scan stuck to the first page.

Tony was a the kind of guy, who, when shown baby scans had to be told several times where the baby was. His sisters used to rib him all the time. Now, he didn't need to ask. He spotted the baby straight away.

Little Peanut was written underneath.
As he turned the page, he realised that was her nickname for their child. This time the picture was of Michelle's stomach. He turned another, and another. It was a week by week diary photobook of her pregnancy with captions underneath pictures of her bump. She had written dates, times, how far gone she was, cravings she had.
"I had always hoped you'd come back to me sweetheart, that I could see you open this," she told him quietly.

He heard her but he couldn't speak. His heart pounded faster as he shook with adrenaline and absorbed her words from her mouth and from the book.
Page after page filled with details. He was astounded. She had taken all that time to write that for him.

The last page was a full lengthed picture of her. Her face chubbier with weight gain, smile as wide as her eyes and wild curls thrown ontop of her head. "36 weeks" it read.
"He was a little early." Michelle broke the silence. She had split her time between watching him and watching their son. She moved the baby from her arm and placed him against her chest and rubbed his back.
"He was eager to arrive in the world."

He smiled to himself. His own mother had told him many times and whoever would listen that Anthony Almeida was eager to arrive in the world. He too was born at 36 weeks.

Closing the book, he placed it to the side of him and looked back into the box. He fingered the babygro inside.

"That's the first piece I dressed him in. It was from your mom. D'ya remember when she brought that round after we returned from the honeymoon?"

Tony chuckled at the memory. His mother didn't waste anytime dropping hints. Both of them were left speechless when she pretty much thrust it in their faces at dinner.

His eyes met with hers once more. He was amazed she actually kept the babygro all this time and was touched by her gesture.

He then saw the tiny hospital wristband. "Baby Dessler." A little stung at the reminder of their divorce, he just nodded. He continued rifling through the box. A pacifier, a clean nappy, bib, booties - all he assumed the baby had grown out of.

Eventually, there was nothing more to see. Tony breathed out heavily. He saw he had stopped shaking and felt completely calm. He then noticed in the lid was a white envelope. Pulling it towards him, he eased out the piece of paper inside and placed the box and lid on the floor before opening it up.
Birth Certificate.
JAMES ANTHONY JACK ALMEIDA.
He now knew their son's name.
"You called him James? I thought... I thought you didn't like it." He was referring to when they were married and talked about having children. She pulled a face when he mentioned 'James'.
"Only because the boy who pushed me around at school was called James," she chuckled. "When he was placed on my chest and I saw him, I knew that name was his."
She pressed her cheek to her boy's and smiled.

Tony read the rest of the information; where he was born and his date of birth.
Not quite three months old, he observed. "Why are you back at work?" he said louder than he had meant to.
"I had to do what I needed to do for us to survive Tony."

She sounded defensive.

There was a moment of silence.

"I should have been there with you." And without warning, he started sobbing. Huge heavy sobs, causing his shoulders to shake.
"No, no. Tony, no." Michelle reached over and pulled him into a hug.
"This isn't what I wanted. Please don't feel guilty. This is not your fault."
She kissed his cheek and held him tighter.
"You're here now and that's what matters."

They stayed completely still together until she felt him beginning to relax. Just her warm body pressed against his was soothing him. He never forgot that night when he found out his father had passed away. She had wordlessly climbed into bed, pulled him into a hug and held him as he cried. And that was the first time he had ever cried his heart out. Just her being there, stopped him from going out and doing something reckless and stupid.

She held out their sleepy boy to him.
Tony hesitated.
"It's okay," she reassured. "Take him."
Holding him under the arms, Tony smiled as he stared at his son. Though sleepy, he cooed at Tony and moved his legs happily.
Hearing Michelle gasp, he turned to her worried.
"No. It's okay. It's just..."
"What?"
He's never done that to anyone but me before... He knows who you are Tony."
"Really?" He was disbelieving.
"I promise you." She rested her hand on his arm. "With everyone - my mom, brother and friends, he's stayed silent and just stared at them. He is a silent observer. Just like you."
Tony let out a small laugh. "No way."
His eyes locked once more with James'.
And then he felt it.

The overwhelming rush of love for his son. His boy. The fierce inner lion ready to protect him should he be attacked or fall. The father in him ready to teach him a million things. The softie who would mop up the tears, wrap him up in a hug and kiss him when he is sad.

He brought him to his chest for a cuddle. His hand cradling James' head.

And in that instant, he silently made what must have been twenty promises to his baby.

With gentle wriggling, James - keen to be closer to his daddy, buried his face his Tony's neck.

Michelle kissed Tony's shoulder before resting her head against it. Her hand slid down to his, not noticing that their fingers entwined together. Resting her head against his shoulder, she allowed the tear to drop from her eye. She didn't care. Her heart felt whole again. The dull ache she had felt since she walked away from him, had faded.

"So, uh, I guess we have a lot to talk about. I missed out on more than I realised."

Michelle gave a half smile.

"Yeah, yeah I guess we do."

"So, most importantly..." he yawned.

"Is he a good a sleeper?"