South Park Switcheroo

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor will I ever own South Park.

It was a typical overcast day in South Park, Colorado. By that I'm indicating that there was snow on the ground (in July); citizens wearing winter jackets; and Cartman pissing people off. Nonetheless, with a day resembling this; something is bound to go wrong….very wrong. Ahem, with the warm, intense sun shimmering down on the town; the inhabitants were starting to awaken….Therefore; this is where we begin with the retard himself, Butters! (A/N: No offense to Butters' lovers!)

Vivid sunbeams were gleaming through the windowpane near Butters Stotch's bed. Golden-haired tresses spilled out on the pillow. "Ah! T-today is g-g-going to be g-great!!" Butters shouted. A booming voice, which belonged to Mr. Stephan Stotch, yelled deafeningly to Butters. "Be quiet Butters! I'm trying to slumber at this time, mongrel!" Butters jumped and hid underneath his bed, until a spider crawled up and sat on his head, After a few minutes of running around crying, (A/N: Pansy…) he noticed the spider was not harming him. He smiled and named the spider, Chauncey. "Y-you wanna pla-ay w-w-with me C-c-chauncey?" He asked foolishly. The spider sat there on its legs, weaving a web. "A-alright!" Butters whispered in delight. He didn't grasp the fact that the spider was toxic, and was presently weaving a nest for her offspring. Too bad for Butters, Poor, naive Butters….

Let's move on to Kyle Broflovski, the Jewish kid. His ginger curls were tangled and coarse, as he snored beneath the covers. His alarm abruptly went off, knocking him out of bed. He was pissed off and it didn't help his disposition either. "Damn alarm clock! Waking me up on a Saturday; fat ass is in all probability still in his bed!" He growled. After he had smashed the accursed contrivance, he crawled back into bed and lay down. Prior to going back to sleep, his mother; Shelia, yelled from behind the door. "Kyle, sweetie! Time to get up, it's already past nine AM!" He hissed and jumped up. "Goddamn it!" He screamed. "Oh, and choir practice is in a little while! Dress promptly!" She reminded him. It dawned on him that his practice was vital for the town, given that it was nearly the Fourth of July. "Goddamn it!!" He screeched in frustration once again…

Next, we have Stanley "Stan" Marsh, the referee for the majority of the fights among them. His unexciting, midnight-black locks peeked out from beneath the navy bedspread. His sister, otherwise branded as 'the bitch'; silently sneaked into the room with a mug of water snickering. Shelley counted to three and shrieked (or at least tried to). "FIRE!!" Stan jolted up, so rapidly that he nearly gave himself whiplash. Shelley seized this moment in time and swiftly dowsed him with ice water; afterward she tore the window open. The piercing wind of the Colorado Mountains froze him into a human ice cube…literally. (A/N: Just roll with it, I'm sure it's that cold, but not likely to freeze someone into an ice cube!) "Ha! Ha! TURD!!!" She cackled cruelly. Stan sighed and waited for the ice surrounding him to thaw.

Finally, we have Eric Cartman; the asshole and Kenny McCormick (A.K.A.: Satan's Plaything). The previous night; Cartman's residence was vandalized; as a result, his 'mother' asked to reside with Kenny's relatives. Guess how Cartman reacted? The answer involves a damaged kitchen, a deceased dog murdered via a lawnmower, and a rifle that nearly wandered into his control. They, meaning Cartman and Kenny; had to share a besmirched sleeping bag. Cartman slept on the left side spread-eagle, and it didn't help that his rolls of fat were rolling around. Kenny tried to disregard the corpulent boy that was causing his hearing-loss. Unexpectedly his arm felt warm and drenched; he dreaded glancing back, just knowing that he wouldn't be fond of it. He craned his neck in the direction of the fat boy, and to his horror; His arm was engulfed within the cavern that was Cartman's jaws. Kenny froze in shock; the fat rolled yet again and Cartman muttered "Hmm…Cherry Pops©!" That sentence broke Kenny out of his shock; he took in a gulp of air…and screamed. Cartman jarred awake and noticed the circumstances they were in; immediately, regurgitating the repulsive appendage. Joining Kenny, he started screaming as well.

Stan; who was waiting at the bus stop, noticed his friend Kyle approaching. "Achoo!" He sneezed (He had a cold, too). He noticed Kyle's face was red and he was mumbling curses. "Dude, what's up? Something wrong?" Stan asked sleepily. He wasn't truly concerned at this moment and wanted to crawl back into bed. Kyle's rage boiled over; his fuse was lit. "WHAT DO YOU THINK?! I GET WOKEN UP BY MY DAMN CLOCK; MY MOM BITCHES AT ME TO GET UP, AND I HAVE FUCKING CHOIR PRACTICE TODAY!!! YOU WANNA KNOW ANYTHING ELSE THAT'S WRONG?!" Kyle roared in Stan's face. Stan, by now had backed up and was making a warding gesture. Kyle was heaving and growling under his breath. Across the street, Kenny was quarreling with Cartman regarding earlier. "I said I was sorry, wat do ya waunt from meh?!" Cartman retorted. Kenny muffled a response. "Wat teh-I toald ya po' boy; I can't help wat I dream, goddamn it!" He spat. Kyle; who had listened to the entire dispute, grew irate yet again and took out his frustrations on them. "WHAT ARE YOU TWO ARGUING ABOUT NOW?!" He screeched in their faces. Kenny closed his eyes in hope that he would be spared the impending beating. Cartman smirked and leaned towards Kyle. "Wat, ya hahve some sand in yo vagina, Kyle?" He snickered. Before Kyle could whip his sorry ass, Butters came up to them. "H-hey fellas! I-I got this n-new s-s-spider, and named h-him C-chauncey." Butters declared cheerfully. They scratched their heads, obviously wondering how this piece of information applies to anything. The group of boys nodded; acknowledging him as he skipped off on his merry way. Stranger things have happened, thus they didn't think a great deal of it. That was extremely unintelligent of them, because it was an indication forewarning them of the catastrophe to come…

Author's Note

Sorry, if I offended Butters lovers! He's sweet, but creepy at the same time….Don't worry about Kenny, I'm not going to kill him…He's too cute! Someone will die though. If you don't like it, then just wait for the poll on my page. "YES" or "NO" to continue the fic…By the way, it's gender-swapping; random age-change; and body-swapping. To warn you, you probably won't be able to keep up with the characters. Chef will be in this, he has to be…Please tell me about grammar mistakes, Cartman's accent, and etc. I really want to continue, but it's up to you all readers. I know that I skip around a lot so make sure to say so, I will fix them. No flames, because that not feedback if you hate it. I worked really hard, but I'm not good at grammar, or sentence structure so make sure to review. Love you all!