Boy, it's been all this time, and I can't get you off my mind. And nobody knows it but me.
-July 31st, 2006
Was she making another mistake? Keelie Reso couldn't help but chew on her lower lip in anticipation and fear as she leaned back more in her seat on the airplane steadily moving towards Tampa, Florida, where she would soon be reunited with her older brother, Jason, for the first time since late December, when she'd come for Christmas. It wasn't that she had purposely stayed away for months on end- it was simply easier, with her living primarily in Tokyo, Japan. Until now. Now it was time for her to come home and show the world what she'd learned in the three years she'd been gone. At first, she had moped and been depressed after what she had been through, being left by the man she had planned on marrying, but her brother and his best friend, Adam Copeland, had been the ones to snap her out of her depression, and sent her to friends in Japan to start learning how to truly wrestle. And now she was ready to make her mark in the World Wrestling Entertainment company, and not just by designing ring gear like she had before. Before, when she had been Jeff Hardy's girlfriend, Jason's little sister, a tag along who had great backstage access. It still hurt, deep in her chest to think about Jeff, and what had happened between them, but she knew that it was bound to come up now that she was returning. She had thought that everything was so perfect between them, that they were pretty much on a track to end up engaged and then married, that she'd be living in North Carolina, on the Hardy land with a couple of kids by now. But it just wasn't meant to be. And Keelie wasn't ready to admit to her brother that she still hadn't started dating again. She just hadn't met anyone she had wanted to date in Japan, even though she had made many friends, most of them friends for life. And now she was ready to return to her first and true friends. Except for Jeff. He still was there in her mind and her heart, but she couldn't tell Jason, or anyone else, because she didn't want them to worry about her more than they already did.
I stare at your photograph, still sleep in the shirt you left. And nobody knows it but me.
Giving a soft sigh, the blonde Canadian glanced out the window to her left, looking out over the light, white clouds that were just beneath the belly of the plane. Keelie knew that it was going to be hard to ignore all of the stares and whispers and comments from the wrestlers who had been there when she was nothing more than a tag along and ring gear creator, but she would have to deal with it. Pulling the hood of her hoodie up slightly, she prayed quietly in her mind that Jason wouldn't recognize it as one of the things that had belonged to Jeff that he had left at her house. Or, well, what used to be her house. She had sold the tiny thing after he had broken up with her, and it had been more than painful cleaning it out, finding several articles of his clothing that she had simply given to his brother, along with most of the photographs of them together. Except for one that she kept, one taken by the professional photographers at the Hall of Fame 2003, only months before everything had fallen apart. She had kept it because they had looked so happy, and so much like a couple, with Jeff in his tux and her in a semi-formal red dress that had made Jeff's green eyes light up the moment she had stepped out of the bathroom of the hotel room they had been staying in. But she would have to do something with the picture that she still kept inside of an old book, because she couldn't let Jason find it. She didn't need a confrontation with her brother, not when things were already going to be tense at Jay's Tampa home, because she and her sister-in-law, Denise, had never gotten along since they were married in 2001. And now they would be living in the same house, because Jason was insisting that she come and stay with them. Which hopefully would provide a distraction and keep her mind off of Jeff and focused on her newfound career.
Every day I wipe my tears away. So many nights I've prayed for you to say: I should have been chasing you. I should have been trying to prove that you were all that mattered to me.
Blindly fastening her seat belt when the announcement came over the intercom to do so, Keelie leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes as she was apt to do whenever on a plane that was taking off or landing. Waiting until the plane had stopped moving, she unfastened her seatbelt and stood up, stretching. It had taken her quite a while to fly from Japan to Florida, with layovers in California and Texas before she had finally gotten here. Grinning some at a young boy who'd been fascinated when he'd realized who she was, she gave him a small wave before starting down the aisle, just barely hiding the pain in her eyes and a wince when she realized that he was wearing a Jeff Hardy t-shirt. Turning, she made her way off of the plane, pausing discreetly to wipe a tear from her eye. Walking quietly down the terminal, she berated herself mentally when she realized that a part of her was actually hoping that Jeff would be standing with Jay at the end of the terminal, waiting for her, to tell her how wrong he had been, that he wanted her back. But she knew that that wasn't going to happen. Only Jay would be waiting for her, and possibly their parents, but she had a feeling that they were still in Canada, in their own home. But Jay was enough. They were closer than most siblings, and had developed a true friendship, especially after she had started seriously training for wrestling, and when Jason would fly over occasionally to observe and even offer some tips of his own. He had had the biggest part in getting her back to normal, along with several of their friends, including Adam and his sister, Kim, Kim's young daughter, and then some friends from North Carolina, Bekah Moore and even Jeff's brother, Matt. But it hadn't been what she wanted. She wanted her previous life back, with Jeff, with the way that things had been before. But she knew that it wasn't possible. She could only move forward with her life. And forward meant furthering her career and showing the world, including Jeff Hardy that she was stronger than any of them had guessed.
I should have said all the things that I kept inside of me, and maybe I could have made you believe that what we had was all we'd ever need.
Stopping before she reached the last corner leading into the airport, Keelie rested against a wall, forcing herself to get all of her thoughts together and deep down inside. Especially the ones concerning Jeff. There was still so much left unsaid between them, and it was both of their faults. She had been in shock when Jeff had left her at the arena that fateful night on April 23, 2003, and he had refused to answer any of her calls in the days afterward, relying on his brother to relay the message that he was cutting ties with wrestling to get clean in rehab, and then he would make his life over. Without her. It had stung so badly, and still did that she had to take several deep breaths. It wouldn't do to see her brother while crying over the man who had broken her heart three years before. But what hurt the most was that she had been ready for a family with Jeff, ready to settle down and be Keelie Hardy. Shaking her head, she tucked a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear, and lifted her carry-on bag higher onto her shoulder before taking another deep breath and walking down the hall. Glancing around as she passed through security, she couldn't stop the smile that instantly spread across her face as she spotted her brother casually leaning against a wall and talking to fans. Laughing, she shook her head, hurrying towards the taller male as he straightened and grinned.
"Jase!" Her voice came out in a squeal as she launched herself into her brother's arms, and felt as if she had come home, until at least she realized that her debut would be coinciding with the return of the man who had shattered her world.
My friends think I'm moving on, but the truth is, I'm not that strong. And nobody knows it but me.
"Jeff, are you sure this is what you really want? Are you really sure?"
"Yeah. I am. I'm sorry, Trish. I just… I was wrong to think that I was ready."
"I think I kind of knew all along. I guess I was just hopeful. Take care of yourself?"
"You know I will."
Dragging a hand through his dark blonde hair, Jeff Hardy gave the blonde in front of him a small smile, knowing in his mind that he was one of the biggest jackasses on the planet. He should have known that Trish Stratigias, better known as Trish Stratus, was no replacement for the blonde Canadian that he had loved and then forced away from him. Hurting Keelie Reso had been the biggest mistake of his life, but he wasn't sure how he could fix it. His earlier attempts to locate his former girlfriend had been met with cold harshness from Jason Reso and Adam Copeland. But he had expected that. Leaving Keelie the way he had had been more than cruel. And then letting everyone think that he was fine after joining TNA and starting to date Trish was wrong as well. But he had a feeling that his older brother, Matt, and his girlfriend, Kim, had known that this would happen. He had wanted to love Trish, and dammit if he hadn't tried. But every time, especially recently after Kim had come home excited with the news that Keelie was returning to the WWE, as a wrestler on RAW, he had looked at Trish, it had reminded him that she wasn't Keelie, and that he was more than likely making the biggest mistake of his life. And he couldn't do that to himself or to Trish. And while Matt and Kim, and his father were disappointed, he knew that this was the right thing. He was getting his chance to win Keelie back, as he would be returning the same night that Keelie was debuting. And he knew that it was going to be the most difficult thing in the world to try and win her back, not to mention that there would be several blocks in his way, not limited to Keelie's brother and his best friend, even if Jay was no longer a WWE employee. But he knew what he had to do.
And I've kept all the words you said in a box underneath my bed. And nobody knows it but me.
He knew that it had been the biggest mistake in his life when he had broken up with Keelie. But he also knew that he hadn't been himself in those days. He had been constantly looking for his next fix, trying to keep everything else at bay. And when Vince and Shane had suggested rehab, and that they were releasing him from his contract, all he could think of doing was getting away, from everything, including Keelie, no matter how much he cared about her. How much he still cared about her. He still had all of the stuff that she had given Matt to bring back to him, but he kept it in a back closet, not wanting his brother to know how much he still missed Keelie. So he would wait until night fell, and he knew that Matt was busy with his girlfriend, and as long as Trish wasn't there, he would pull the box out, and look through all of the pictures. At first, when he had first come home from rehab, he had been shocked at the sheer amount of pictures of him and Keelie, all the snapshots that friends had taken, or had been professionally taken. Including those that they had taken for Christmas cards, or just for family and friends. They looked so in love, and he still was in love with her. If only he knew how she felt about him still. He hadn't realized until he had been able to look back with an open mind how much Keelie had loved him, and how obviously devastated she was when he had broken up with her, and when he had refused to take her phone calls. And that killed him now, three years later.
But if you're happy, then I'll get through somehow. But the truth is that I've been screaming out: I should have been chasing you. I should have been trying to prove that you were all that mattered to me.
All Jeff knew was that Keelie had gone to Japan only two months after he had broken up with her, and his attempts to talk to Jason and Adam had been met with coldness. Even Amy had been pissed at him, and that had really hurt him. And Bekah Moore, his childhood friend and Keelie's self-proclaimed best friend had refused to talk to him for three solid months. So he had had to resort to other ways to watching his ex-girlfriend, tapping old friends he knew in Japan, even flying over and watching her training and her matches from a distance. And he had been shocked at how fierce she was in the ring, how much of a talent she had. She had hidden it, from nearly everyone, but she was obviously replacing him with wrestling. The only thing that kept him sane was the fact that he never heard of her dating anyone else. He had been Keelie's first; he knew that much, and he had planned at one time on being her only. But he knew that she was a grown woman, and could do whatever she wanted, as long as it made her happy. No matter how much it killed him. He wanted to do the right thing, and tell her how wrong he had been. He wanted to make it right, even if working the debut so that they were together was the only way.
I should have said all the things that I kept inside of me, and maybe I could have made you believe that what we had was all we'd ever need.
-August 24th, 2006, Bridgeport, Connecticut
"Jay, you really didn't need to come. Denise is probably plotting my murder since you've been spending all of your time with me." Keelie eyed her brother some, finishing out her stretching, preparing for her debut match against Lita, whom Keelie knew as Amy Dumas.
"This is important to me, Kees. This is your debut, and I would never consider missing it. You're my baby sister, and besides, honestly, things aren't going to well for me and Denise, and- Don't get that hopeful look, Keelianne! I know you don't like Denise, but dammit, I thought she was the perfect match for me." Jason gave his sister a fake glare.
"Bekah's perfect for you."
"Keelie. Don't start."
Giving an innocent look to her older brother, Keelie finished stretching, then tugged down the form-fitting tank top she had chosen to wear in her debut. She had designed her ring gear for her debut herself, taking special care in choosing the outfit. The tank top was a bright red with a scattering of black stars over it and tight black leather-looking pants that fit like a second skin. Her boots were also black, with red stars on the ankles. Kim had stopped by to help her finish her makeup, and she was leaving her hair loose, letting it fall to nearly her waist. She knew that she looked damn good, and she couldn't wait for the crowd's reaction. They would be sticking with the storyline, which meant she and Adam would be playing half-siblings, and she was expected to call him out for his behavior towards Kim, even though she was on SmackDown with Matt now. But it seemed like nearly everyone was there to see her, and watch her debut, which made her nervous. She knew that she was ready for this, that she could take anything thrown at her, but she wanted to show why the company had skipped it's normal developmental phase with her, and was shooting her straight to the biggest show of the week, Monday night RAW. Checking herself in the mirror, she gave herself a small nod, then glanced at Jason before opening the door of the locker room, and starting out, only to freeze when she saw a familiar form leaning against the wall across from the room she was in. Jeff straightened, his eyes scanning over Keelie before focusing on her face, a small smile on his face.
"Hey, Keelie."
I should have been chasing you.
You should have been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me.
You should have said all the things
That I kept inside of me.
And maybe you could have made me believe
That what we had, girl-
Oh, that what we had
We had, was all we'd ever need.