Author Note – Spoilers for Shadow. I came up with an idea for a reaction to this episode but when I went to rewatch to refresh my memory I found the locker scene, which I still love, out of place. Olivia refuses to let Elliot be a part of the set up to save him from the fall out but then Fin and at least two others are the masked hitmen? And Elliot is in charge of the surveillance? It didn't make sense. In my opinion, the beloved locker room scene should have been a reaction scene at the end of the episode. If you have any thoughts on this reaction piece or the episode, even if you think I'm completely wrong about the locker scene, please don't hesitate to leave a quick review at the end or send me a PM if you don't want to leave a public comment.
Disclaimer – I don't own, just borrowing for fun
Out of the Shadow
'There is no shadow without the sun.
No suffering without divinity.
No fear without love.
No despair without desire.
No hopelessness without faith.'
― Brownell Landrum, A Chorus of Voices: DUET stories Volume III - Adult Version
Olivia rolls the fresh sweater over her shirt, she feels normal again after washing off the last of the fake blood. The locker room door bursts open with a loud bang and her partner storms through. Her mouth opens to greet him only for the words to get stuck in her throat when he roughly pulls his locker open without acknowledging her with so much as a glance in her direction. Elliot stands with his back to her while he rifles through his locker. She tuts quietly and stares at his back, her annoyance sparking. She thought he was fine after their talk earlier. Obviously she was wrong.
"You heading home soon?" She asks. She doesn't know why she's easing into this conversation because anything could and would cause an argument with the mood he's in.
"I'm going to work out," Elliot replies tightly. He doesn't stop as he pulls his gym bag from the locker. He dumps it on the bench he sat on hours before when he all but begged her to let him be in the car with her. It was Ash's case and she had been dragged into it willingly. She couldn't let him risk his career for someone who wasn't his partner.
She sighs. He hastily unbuttons his shirt and slips it from his body, folds it quickly then stuffs it in the bag. He drags out his tee and pulls it on over his vest. Elliot doesn't look at her until it's done. Then it's a quick glance out of the side of his eye, assessing, calculating. He exhales loudly before diverting his attention back to his gym bag as he goes back to ignoring her. She leans against her locker, her stubbornness kicking in. If her time in Oregon taught her one thing, it was better to sort problems out with him rather than drag them out. They've finally gotten over the ramifications Oregon caused and they've had a steady rhythm for months. They can't go through that again. She can't go through that again.
"You never have a problem when we trade off with Munch and Fin. Ash is a good cop."
She knows the difference before the words are out of her mouth. He knows their counterparts, how they work, trusts them in the field. He doesn't know Ash.
"Yeah, he is," he agrees to her surprise. "But you only knew Ramsey for five minutes before you went off half-cocked and the perp took out a hit on you."
"Is that what this is about? We get threats all the time." She would never call him on the jealousy in his voice. She wants to. She could tell him about the woman at Ash's place a few nights before. She won't. It's none of his business. He has nothing to be jealous of. Scratch that, he has no reason, or right, to be jealous.
"They don't follow through most of the time, what if we never got the tip?"
"Then I wouldn't have been in the car."
"What if Gillete tries again? We still don't know if she managed to contact a real hitman, she was gunning for you."
"I'm not going to shut myself away because of this Elliot."
"She's not the type to give up," Elliot stresses, the veins in forehead start to bulge as red blush of frustration creeps across his skin.
"This isn't the first and probably not the last time someone threatens payback." She wants to shrug it off, it's part of the job. She has her own concerns but they won't stop her from doing her job. It's only a month since someone tried to frame her for murder and he wagered his house, and his marriage, on her innocence. She doesn't want to think about what could have happened to her or his family if they weren't able to prove her innocence.
"When is Kathy bringing the kids home?" Olivia asks softly. She's not trying to divert his attention, she's genuinely curious. She knows how devastated he would be if his family were hurt. Knows how lost he is when he doesn't have them to go home to.
"She's staying with her mom for the rest of the week," he replies just as softly. He lifts his head to look at her. His eyes glaze over and she knows he sees the fake blood she washed away. "My first thought was of them."
"And they should be Elliot, they come first." Then she realises he isn't angry with her, only himself. She may not like it, but she's gotten used to him being overprotective. He's always going to be protective of people who he cares about. He's the same with victims, especially the children. He feels guilty when he has to choose one over the other. Olivia had been the target Anne had alluded to and she had been an afterthought and he blames himself for that.
"You can't be there for me around the clock," she adds gently. He looks like he's about to argue with her. She knows the feeling; she would be arguing with him if their roles were reversed. It's not something you can switch on and off.
"But I should be there for you when we're working." She hears the want, the desire, the unuttered words.
"You are, Elliot, you are."