So, a while ago dragonfire1999 came up to me with this idea and I had to take it. It is for an extremely rare pairing and a trope I always wanted to write. It is new and challenging and amazing experience and I'd like to thank dragonfire1999 here for the opportunity.
"I say we kill them all!"
"They pose no threat!" another voice chips in.
"They are not like us."
"They are taking over the Mountain. Should we wait for them to take our lands as well?"
Half of the people are nodding, while the rest grunt in disapproval.
Lexa closes her eyes letting the arguing of the Ambassadors become indistinct murmuring. Her hands fall casually on the armrest of her throne, but inside of her there is nothing but tension. She knew it would be an arduous task convincing the others to invite the Skaikru to join the Coalition. Even the treaty might be in question. Had Clarke been here, had Lexa not taken the offer of the Mountain men… but that is not the case. She lifts her hand waiting for silence. She doesn't have to wait long.
"Ambassadors of the Coalition," she begins, her leveled voice echoing in the room, "I have gathered you here today to discuss the fate of the Skaikru. I heard your concerns, and while I do share some of them, I want you now to hear mine. You say we should destroy the ones who rid us of our greatest enemy. Some of you are still hunting Wanheda despite my explicit orders." she pauses, waiting for the others to bring to mind the sight of the mercenary's corpse outside, birds and bugs feasting on his flesh, "After years of fighting the Mountain, we finally are at peace. Should we start killing each other again? Our people…"
"Skaikru are not our people." the Ambassador of Azgeda interrupts.
"At the moment." Lexa drags out the words, hoping to contain her anger, "Our people need to know that peace is a possibility. Should we not raise our children so we can send them to provide for their families, hunt and learn, not only to die?" she stops, as her words are mostly falling on deaf ears, "You are dismissed. We shall continue tomorrow."
The Ambassadors leave in small groups. Lexa can hear them; she can feel they are losing confidence in her leadership. She rushes to her quarters before Titus can say anything. His lectures are not what she needs, she needs to be alone. If she doesn't thread carefully bad things will happen. To her, to everybody. The plotters are getting impatient, it is not only Azgeda now.
When she opens the door, the candles are already lit, soft glow's illuminating the room. She moves to the balcony, the Sun is setting behind the city making it appear on fire. Will it happen? Will she see the place of her first real memories burn? It had happened before. The faint murmur of the people's chatter retiring to their homes reaches high up to her solitary tower. This is who she's been working for. But one imprudent move could make it all perish. Ever since she's learned of Clarke's victory she's been wreaking her brain on what to do next, how to keep everything together. She needs to find a way to make this alliance happen. It's high time she sought help. She needs guidance.
The servant boy is called to make the arrangements. Meticulously, he is grinding the herbs; yellow flower buds are releasing sweet sharp scent, already nudging Lexa into the desired state. However careful he is, she can hear his still unskilled hands as the small chunks of leaves are being dropped into the goblet. Then, the hot liquor is poured over. The fumes make the boy cough. He waits to steady himself before placing the goblet on the floor, near Lexa's right hand. With a small nod, she gestures the boy to leave. The door shuts with a click. Three times she inhales then exhales slowly. The final rays of Sun are moving over her eyelids.
"I call upon the spirit to aid me in this task. I seek guidance of the wise ones who came before me."
Steadily, she drifts into another world, heavy thoughts plaguing her mind.
Lexa opens her eyes to a dark forest. It doesn't take long for her to recognize the area. Mist has settled low, clocking the ground. No wind. No sound. She walks slowly, the crunching of the dried leaves is the sole sound in the dead forest. Tall trees with sprawling limbs tower above her, letting the moonlight illuminate her way. Lexa is positive she cannot be harmed in a vision yet the eerie setting does not let her rest. She pricks up her ears and takes out the weapon. The knuckles are becoming white from gripping the dagger tightly.
In the corner of her eye, she catches a glimpse of flashing light. She whirls towards it. Too late, it is already gone. When she turns back, a woman with sad eyes is staring at her. In surprise, Lexa stumbles back bumping into a fallen tree. The white smoke parts for a moment to reveal its moist, mossy surface.
"Becca?" she utters in relief. The first Natblida is here to guide her.
Without a word Becca turns, the mist gradually swallowing up her small figure as she marches on.
Lexa follows suit, her feet quickly finding the needed rhythm. Soon, it starts to feel like they are walking in circles, nothing is changing around them. Lexa knows that asking questions is pointless. Patience is the first thing she's learned from these visions.
A clearing appears out of nowhere. The field of fresh, tiny flowers leading up to a hill. On the top a bonfire is roaring. Two silhouettes stand in front of it. Lexa stops by Becca.
"Go to them." she says in that broken voice that always strikes something inside Lexa and follows her for days after.
She is walking up the hill, cackling of the fire reaching her ears. It burns bright, red and yellow twisting in an erratic dance. The figures remain indistinct, faces blurred. A man and a woman are facing each other. The woman's long hair and dress are flapping in the wind as is the tall man's unruly hair. Then, she notices the third figure standing close behind them. His long robe seems too heavy to be disturbed by the wind. She doesn't linger on him, though, knowing deep inside she should focus on the couple. If she focuses on one person, she can almost recognize something, but together there is nothing.
She turns back, Becca is gone. When she looks at the pair again, the female is drawing a knife, blade glistening in the light of fire. Lexa halts, petrified. The woman drags the blade slowly across her forearm. Lexa wants to move, to see more but cannot. She just stands there curiously observing the ritual. The man cuts his arm. The droplets of blood drip from their hands. They clasp them together. The third figure binds them with a ribbon before losing himself in the background again. The pair faces Lexa, raising their bound hands. Their eyes are burning into her. She can almost recognize them. Almost. The sound of the crowd cheering makes her tear her eyes away from them.
The blinding light hits her. She is back in her quarters, morning Sun blazing through the window. The candles are all burned down. Like always after a vision, she is drained. Only this time, it is worse. She reaches for the goblet but her shaking hands are callous. The drink spills and she stumbles up. Water at least will help her to pull herself together.
"Guards!" she calls once she gains control over her voice, "I need to speak to Fleimkepa. Now."
"What does it mean, teacher?" she asks again. Titus has not stopped pacing since she told him of the vision.
Deep down, Lexa is afraid of the visions. She always has been, time has not diminished that. Eventually, she's learned to decipher them, but this one left her confused. There is something different, something ominous about this one.
He halts at her plead. "It means… " he flops in the chair, an unceremonious move so unlike him, "What do you remember about Commander Sonya?"
She looks at him, puzzled. What does that have to do with anything? "She united her clan with the Delfikru."
"How?"
"I do not need a history lesson, Titus."
"What you saw was an ancient ritual performed to unite two souls for eternity. It hasn't been done for decades. Commander Sonya did it. She stopped a war and built the pillars of this Coalition."
"What sort of union?" she asks the redundant question.
"Marriage." he breathes out, like it is a forbidden word, a disgrace.
Lexa remains silent. Her thoughts go to Clarke. If only she were with her people. Lexa is sure however stubborn Clarke is, she would have been able to see the bigger picture. All the responsibility, the burden… she snorts, "To be Commander is to be alone." every word is filled with accusation.
"Heda-"
"Is that not what you've been telling me?"
"Heda, please…"
"All my life. Whenever someone came even close to look at me as something else but…." she stops, chest heaving. She refuses to lose control.
Titus sees that frightened girl behind the great Heda whom he's been hiding from the world. She emerges rarely now but when she does, it changes everything. Again, she is put in a position to sacrifice the last bit of herself, "It would be for the public. You will not have to- There's still another way."
"Enough people have died, Titus. I will not wipe out her people. I will not sacrifice anyone else for fear of war."
"Only yourself." Titus says grimly.
"I need to think. Leave me."
It takes days of being cooped up in her quarters before she can reach some semblance of a decision. The mere idea of marriage is absurd. Not once in her life, not even during those blissful moments with Costia or when she believed peace to be on the horizon did she think of marriage. For a Commander to bind someone to herself is selfish. It is reckless. But this will not be like it could have been.
The more she thinks about it, the more sick she feels. To share a life with any person currently residing in Arkadia is unfathomable. Her body rejects the idea like it is a virus. "Head, not heart." she repeats the mantra, "Head, not heart." This would be for peace, for her people. The Skaikru deserves a chance. They deserve more. If she can do this, surely they will find one person to see reason. In their impractical hierarchy, there are many high ranking officials. She is no longer sure how many of them are considered leaders.
Lexa knows she has to put the proposition to a vote. If she just announces it, the other clans will see it as a stab in the back. A threat to their freedom. It takes another two long days for all the clan leaders to gather.
"This is an outrage!" the most vocal of them voices everybody's thoughts.
"This is a way to ensure they do not turn on us." and we on them goes unsaid by the Floukru Ambassador, "What better way to control them than to keep them close?"
"They are useless. Their guns will not hold forever. Let us wipe them out and be done with this."
Ignoring couple of nods of agreement, Lexa stands up. "Thank you, Commander Sienne for your ever helpful input. The Sky people have medicine, knowledge still unknown to us. I saw them bring Reapers back to men. We all saw their strategic skills. We have all suffered enough from the hands of Mountain Man. All we know of peace are from tales of the old world. But that does not mean peace should remain just that. Should we not at least try before marching into another war? Should we not try to learn to live instead of just trying to survive?" the pang of guilt and sorrow strikes her as she remembers who said those words, "There is no need to repeat myself. You have a choice – should we ready our children for bloodshed or for celebration?"
"Making a dynasty has to start somewhere, doesn't it?" says Nia, smirking.
"You will respect your Heda." Titus cuts in.
"We all know the Commander of the Trukru and especially Heda is not a hereditary tittle." Lexa comments, keeping her voice steady.
"And thanks to your choices, neither is the Azgeda throne." Indra adds, forgetting her place.
"Compensation was satisfactory, I assure you." she smiles gratefully, locking eyes with Lexa.
She hasn't been in Nia's presence in months but she can easily recognize the meaning behind that look. It takes much energy to keep all the memories at bay. She clenches her jaw and looks around the room, giving attention to every person separately, "Think about this. Vote and I shall respect your decision."
After what feels like hours of bickering, they deliberate. Some hands go up, some remain down. Lexa exhales slowly, unsure whether it is a victory or defeat. Only time will tell. "Indra." she calls her trusted General, "Take riders. Go to Arkadia and bring me Marcus Kane."