Hi! This is my first ever Glee fanfic, hope you all enjoy!
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Kurt woke with a start. Shaking, his whole body drenched in a cold sweat and lungs desperately crying out for oxygen as if he'd just run a mile. He wasn't quite sure if it was really early in the morning, or really late at night, either way, it was pitch black and eerily silent. Looking around his bedroom, he tried to focus his eyes, worried when after a few moments he still couldn't make out anything. He crawled out of bed and turned on the light, the sudden brightness stinging his eyes and making him flinch. According to his wall clock, it was 5am already, far to early to be awoken by his dad noisily slamming the car door as he left for work, and too dark for the birds to be waking the street up with their loud chirping. But it didn't matter, Kurt knew why he was awake, and why his heart was thumping in his chest - the nightmares. The same dream, over and over again every night for the past week. Every night he would lay in bed worrying until he fell asleep around 2 or 3, only to be awoken a few hours later in a terrified panic. Every night he watched himself die, killed by Karofsky. There was always a different method, sometimes he was shot, sometimes stabbed but every night he always ended up the same way - dead. He had to tolerate him at school, see his face every time he closed his eyes, and now he couldn't even escape when he slept. But it was Friday, only one more day and then the weekend - no Karofsky for two days - that was something to look forward to at least.
He's bruised before school even starts that morning. Kicked up the stairs and thrown into the lockers by Karofsky and his friends. Kurt expected it, it was the same punishment that met him every day, he had given up fighting long ago. It was easier when he had Finn, Puck and all the others looking out for him, but he couldn't expect them to protect him forever. So he told them he was fine, that Karofsky just wasn't a problem anymore, and they all just went back to their own lives, quick to forget.
The first bell rings, and Kurt takes time to get his books out of his locked. The door is dented and a thin trail of dry blood runs down the middle. His head print, and his blood - yesterdays wounds - he was just relieved his dad hadn't noticed his nose, or the black eye. He stops for a moment, catching his reflection in a circular mirror framed with diamontes he'd hung inside the door. He jumps and spins around when he catches Karofsky's reflection next to his.
The boy - if he could be called that, he was more primate than anything - had him by the collar before he could do anything to help himself. The corridor was empty, the bully hadn't brought any friends this time and all the students were already inside their classes by now. Kurt was alone- completely vulnerable to whatever the other boy had in store.
Kurt felt his hot breath against his neck, felt his course tongue licking at his ear, and then words that made his heart stop.
"I'm gonna kill you today."
As he walked to Spanish, he told himself it was just another threat, that Karofsky would never actually kill him - that he was too much fun to knock around. But deep down Kurt knew he was serious. He swallowed hard, turning the door knob and being greeted by Mr. Schuester, smiling while he taught the class. When he saw Kurt he turned and gestured towards an open seat.
"Nice of you to join us, Kurt - take a seat."
Kurt paused for a moment in the doorway. It was as if everyone in the room had suddenly been transformed into clone versions of Karofsky, their faces contorted with laughter, all mocking him. He pushed them aside and sat down near the back, opening his text book and burying his nose in it. He knew he was starting to hallucinate. He hadn't slept properly in weeks, and he couldn't even remember the last time he ate properly. He didn't feel as staved when he was on the cheerios as he did now.
As Mr. Shue taught, another boy came in late. He was new, and Mr. Shue announced he had just transferred from some expensive elitist boarding school out west. It didn't matter, Kurt wasn't paying any attention. He was far to busy planning out how he was going to stay out of site for the day.
A tap on the shoulder made him jump and he immediately snapped out of his daze. He turned, and was quickly handed a note by the new boy.
"Are you Kurt? Some guy outside told me to give this to you.."
Kurt took the note without a word and turned around before Mr. Shue could see and take it from him. Before even opening it, he had an idea who it was from. His heart was already pounding and his hands had grown extremely sweaty and were shaking. He carefully opened the double folded piece of paper and read :
"12pm. See you in the gym."
Before, Kurt had felt scared. Terrified, even. But now, now he just felt numb. The gym was not in use at the moment, a pipe underground had burst and all students were banned from entering. Karofsky knew it would be days -weeks even, considering how long construction workers took - before anyone would go in there, and the place was completely sound proof, he could tie him up and leave him to die. The water would wash away any evidence leading to who did it.
Folding the note and slipping it into his pocket, he prayed for the bell to ring. He wasn't going to go to another class today, he had to make a decision about what he was going to do.
But what was he going to do? The way he saw it there were three options - run, hide or die. This had gone on too long for him to tell anyone, plus, he'd have to tell about the kiss and then Karofsky would kill him anyway. He didn't live in some make-believe world, nobody ever did anything about bullying unless there was hard evidence - and they definitely didn't expel people for kissing. He could run home, he was athletic enough, he may just get there. But then what about his dad? He finished work at 12 on Fridays, and he'd surely ask why Kurt was home so early. He could hide in the choir room and lock the door, or in the library under the librarians nose, he could even intrude on Mr. Shue and force him to 'teach-him-how-to-sing-a-particularly-difficult-song' over lunchtime, but he knew none of that would work. He had to face Karofsky sooner or later, and it might as well be today. He had to die.
Kurt could feel his lips start to tremble and his eyes start to well up. He lifted his book up to cover his face from view, blocking out his classmates. A moment later, he felt a tap on his shoulder. Assuming it was the new kid again, he ignored it. But when a familiar voice called his name, he looked up and was met with Mr. Shue's face.
Frantically rubbing his eyes, he shot his teacher a questioning look.
"Yes?" He asked, voice coming out far higher than it normally was as he struggled against the lump in his throat.
Mr Shue looked worried, he didn't wait to ask what was wrong - he had been concerned since Kurt walked in late for the first time ever - he picked up Kurt's bag and escorted him out of the room. Waiting until they reached the corridor to ask if he was okay.
"I'm fine." Kurt insisted, taking his backpack from Mr. Shue and forcing a smile. "I'm just feeling a little sick, I'm gonna go to the nurse..."
Kurt took a step towards the nurses office, but fell right into the wall as a dizzy spell washed over him. Mr. Shue caught him by the shoulders, steadying him and helping him lean against a locker for a moment.
"I haven't eaten... since, I don't know when.." Kurt explained, he didn't want Mr. Shue harassing him, thinking Karofsky was torturing him again. They all knew how much weight he lost last time it got bad.
"I'm going to the nurse.." He repeated, walking away and turning the corner, leaving his teacher standing in the hall, confused and worried.
Yet, Kurt never went to the nurse. He went to the library instead and hid in the filing room. Locking the door behind him, he sat down on the ground between two pillars of stacked up boxes and closed his eyes letting the thoughts run around in his head. It was 10am, another two hours - three if he was lucky - and he would be dead. He knew he should be writing some kind of letter to his dad, Carole and Finn but he didn't really have any words. Taking out a pen, he recovered the note from his pocket and jotted down on the back.
"Play Defying Gravity at my funeral."
He looked at it closely, a second later adding :
"And NO GOD."
That would have to do. His dad knew him well enough to know a Kurt Hummel funeral was supposed to be a spectacular event - he would just know.
Kurt sat for another two hours, the time flying by so quickly. He spent the time worrying - not even about himself, really - but about his dad. He was so happy Carole and Finn had come into his life, his dad got a wife and he would have the son he had always wanted.
Kurt smiled at that, and it wasn't long after that he heard the usual ruckus that came with nine hundred high school students running down the corridor headed for the cafeteria. he promptly got up. He wasn't going to be late again today. Straightening his knee-length sweater, he exited the library and set off towards the gym.
As he passed the cafeteria, Kurt spotted Mercedes, Tina and Artie all sitting at a table. They smiled and beckoned him over. Checking his watch, Kurt saw he still had half an hour to spare before he had to be in the gym, so he figured he would put on a smile and go and talk to them.
"Hey Kurt, I missed you in Science today, where were you?" Mercedes asked, shifting over so Kurt had room to sit down.
"I had a dentist appointment this morning, I just got here." Kurt lied, hoping no one had seen him.
"But I saw you in the hall this morning, " Tina said, confused, "I called out but I don't think you heard me, you walked away."
"Oh yeah," Kurt said, "I came to into school.. then my dad called and reminded me about the dentist.. I never write anything down.." He forced a laugh, quickly changing the subject and stealing one of Artie's tots.
He watched his friends talk and laugh together,the group growing as Rachel, Finn, Quinn and Sam came over. He figured it would be a good time to slip out.
"Hey, I'm going to the library - history paper to research." He told Finn, letting his eyes gaze at him just a moment longer, knowing this was probably the last time he was going to see him. He wanted to say something, something like 'take care of dad', but he couldn't find the words. Instead he listened as Finn absently muttered, "Yeah, catch you later." Before turning back to Rachel.
The gym was colder than usual, and the floor was covered with a thin, foul smelling sticky goo. The construction workers had used a fluorescent pink spray can to mark where they were going to dig, and as far as Kurt was concerned it really didn't go with the beige walls or burgundy bleachers. But what did any of that matter know anyway.
He walked over to the basketball hoop, remembering the first time he'd fallen for Finn. He'd been messing around during gym class and ended up shooting a hoop blindfolded. They were young, and everyone went to jump on Finn, stacking up like a jenga tower, and Kurt forced his way to the centre, for some reason needing to be closer to Finn. He'd learned why that was years later. But that didn't matter either.
"Ladyboy!" A voice called and Kurt instantly knew it was Karofsky, he wasn't surprised to see he was alone this time - even he wasn't that much of an idiot to involve anyone else in this. Or maybe his friends chickened out? Or, they were hiding, or guarding the doors in case he ran? Whatever it was, Kurt was sure he would soon find out.
"So this is it?" Kurt asked, trying to be as confident as possible and failing. "Now I die?"
"Now you die." Karofsky confirmed, walking closer to the two were only inches apart.
"Why?" Kurt asked again, but he was met with Karofsky's fist straight into his jaw. After that blow came another, then another then another. He felt the blood pour from his nose and mouth, and stumbled back, desperately trying to flee. He wanted to change his mind and find help. Surely Finn, Puck and Sam could give Karofsky a run for his money. But then Kurt remembered, it really wasn't their problem at all.
Unbalancing, Kurt fell to the ground, a sneaker connecting with his ribcage, he lost count of how many times, all he knew was pain. His ribs must be shattered, he had no fat protecting him, and the three extra shirts he'd worn under his sweater really provided no adequate padding. He wrapped his arms around himself, assuming the fetal position the best he could and screaming out in pain as Karofsky's foot met his arm - he just knew it was shattered now.
Then the beating stopped, to afraid to open his eyes, Kurt just lay there shaking. His whole body in excruciating pain and covered in blood. Hie ears were ringing, and he felt himself slipping in and out of consciousness. Then he felt it. The final blow. But this time, it didn't come from Karofsky's foot, but an object.
Kurt watched in horror as Karofsky pulled out a knife, stabbing it forcefully into Kurt's abdomen and sitting for a moment as he watched the blood start to flow from Kurt's wound and turn his grey sweater crimson.
"Why?" Karofsky mocked, his voice deep and severe. "Because you made me scared of who I am."
There is is :) Please review if you want to see the conclusion..