Chapter 1

Princess Lay Yah and Hand Solo were in Jabba the Hut's chamber. A droid interpreted for Jabba.

"It's been a long time Hand still owe me money. I have not forgotten. Bring him to me!" Jabba commanded.

Lay Yah watched horrified as Jabba opened his wide mouth and Hand Solo was shoved inside. A couple of bites later and it was all over.

"No! You monster! Lay Yah sobbed. She rushed towards Jabba to attack him but was grabbed by some Star Wars creature.

"Boohga Dooga Dookie." Jabba spoke.

The droid interpreted. "Jabba has saved your slave costume he wants you to put it on."

"I'll never wear that costume again!" Lay Yah was furious.

"Pookie Dookie Dildo Targereyans Poo Poo Pee Pee Dookie Poopy Pot Groot Poonani Bum Bum Dookie."

"Yes, you will." The droid interpreted again.

Lay Yah was taken away. Jabba licked his large tongue in anticipation. She returned several minutes later in her slave costume. It was like a slutty bikini with metal stuff on it. She was a little older so her boobs were saggy and her ass was flat but it looked ok for her age.

Lay Yah was pushed forward. "I'll kill you for this Jabba." Jabba laughed.

"You tried that before and failed." The droid spoke. "Jabba was still alive after you tried to choke him. Now he will have his revenge."

Lay Yah was pushed forward. Jabba stuck out his slimy tongue and licked Lay Yah's body.

The Hut race had no real sexual organs. Their whole body was a erogenous zone. Jabba shuffled forward and flopped down on Lay Yah crushing her. He moaned, "Dookie Bookie Lannister Pookie Do." Lay Yah couldn't breathe. She knew this was the end. Being crushed by a giant walking tub of lard.

"Rreheehhsdsddthhh" Lay Yah tried to scream.

She felt a mini earthquake as Jabba began to jiggle, shaking the entire room.

"Bum Bum Westeros Dookie." Jabba sighed in relief.

A Klingon helped move Jabba's Body off of Lay Yah.

"Uh-Oh" Jabba said in surprise.

Lay Yah was sunken into the floor. Her body was as flat as a pancake. Her eyes expressing horror.

The Klingon and Droid got a giant futuristic looking spatula and began scraping her off the floor.

Meanwhile Obi-Won, Jar Jar Stinks, Queen Amygdala, Mace Windex, Yoda, R2-D2, and C3POH were on a mission from the republic.

"Land our spaceship in that clearing there on Middle Earth." Obe-Won commanded. They landed in a clearing and some small alien humans with big feet came out. "Who are you?" A hobbit asked.

"I am Obe-Won-Konami. These are some of my fellow Jedi and friends from the Republican. We've heard there is a dangerous Sithpthh on this planet."

"A disturbance in the force I sense. Know the way I do." Yoda says.

A female hobbit approached R2-D2. "Beep boo beep boo." R2-D2 said. The girl hobbit laughed. R2-D2 felt a strange sensation in his wiring he had never felt before. He knew this is what humans must call love.

The rest of the group was walking off but R2-D2 stayed behind. No one noticed.

"We've been walking for hours. Yet the Sithpthh continues to elude us." Mace Windex said.

"Hidden the Sithphh lord is. Powerful he may be." Yoda said like a smart old person.

JarJar suddenly says, "Messa feel seasick." He wobbled back and fell behind some bushes.

"JarJar are you ok?" Queen Amygdala asks.

The group walked forward and found themselves at the edge of a cliff.

"Where could Jar Jar have gone?" Queen Amygdala wondered.

"Oopsies!" Jar Jar bounded forward with lightening speed and pushed everyone off the cliff, they fell screaming.

JarJar began to laugh maniacally. "Messa gonna kill you all now."

Yoda hung to a branch while Mace Windex held the queen from falling. Obe-Won clutched the side of the cliff.

"Make it up, we must." Yoda said.

They forced jumped to the top of the cliff. Windex threw Queen Amydala to the side.

JarJar faced them now wearing dark Sithpthh robes and holding a red light saber.

"You are the dark Sithphh we seek." Yoda pressed the button to turn on his light saber.

"This is impossible." Mace Windex said in shock.

"Issa no impossible, Messa is Darth Jar Jar. The emperor of the dark side." Jar Jar Stinks said proudly.

"Jar Jar no! It can't be!" Queen Amygdala ran forward. Jar Jar swung his dark saber and cut off her hand.

"Ahhyiiiiii" She screamed. Obe-Won rushed to her side.

"Yousa all gonna die Jedi scum!" Jar Jar said goofily.

The Jedi surrounded Jar Jar who did a silly dance. "Messa fool all of you."

Mace Windex swung his light saber but Jar Jar easily blocked it. Yoda came in to attack doing a flip and Jar Jar swung barely missing him.

"Get the Queen to safety." Mace Windex told Obe-Won.

"Messa no think so." Jar Jar rushed forward attacking with his dark saber and Obe-Won barely blocked it in time.

Mace Windex grabbed the Queen and ran while Yoda and Obe-Won blocked his path.

"Yousa gonna pay for dat." JarJar warned. Lightening came out of his fingers zapping Yoda and Obe-Won.

"To powerful he is." Yoda grunted in pain. "How did this happen Jar Jar? You were our friend." Obe-Won asked kneeling in pain.

"Yousa fools. Jar Jar is no one's friend." Jar Jar began remembering the events which led him to become the most powerful Sith Lord in the galaxy.