I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling broken. I'm tired of being left behind. I'm tired of feeling that I lost my best and only true friend. I'm just really tired.

You act like you don't even care. What am I supposed to do with that? I have no one to talk to about you. No one. I just have me and I keep thinking of so many things. What could I have changed? What could I have said? What could I have done? But I would do everything the same way all over again. That's why I don't understand why things are so mess up between us. What happened? One minute you were here, you were my friend, and the next your gone. You barely talk to me. You barely see me. I don't know what to do.

I feel like my heart has been torn to shreds. Like you threw it to the wolves without a second thought. I trusted you. I trusted you with my heart.

I loved you more than I ever loved anything. The only thing I wanted was to be close to you. You were my friend. My best friend.

You know I hear from you every once in a while. You tell about all the things you're doing, all the people you're meeting, and all the things you're seeing you. All I want is for you to be happy. Why can't I be apart of your happiness? Why can't you let me into the good parts? Am I only good enough when things are bad? Or not even then?

Your one friend talks to me. She's a nice girl. She's not you though. I hung out with a few times. I don't feel the same around her as I did with you. I'm trying not to treat her a subsitution for you. I take her company for what it is. It's filler.

I miss you. I miss your smile and your laugh. I miss your sighs and critism. I miss the way that you walk. I miss the way that you talk. I miss everything about you. I miss you. I miss the smell of coffee on your breath. I miss the perfume that you wore lingering in my clothes and the air where you stood. I miss you. I miss you so much.

I'm not much on religion but I sort of prayed. I prayed so hard. I prayed and I cried. My tears were full of love and loss for you.

I don't expect you to understand. I know you would though because you know how it feels. You know exactly how this feels because you're still feeling it now from someone you loved. I don't expect you to care is what I mean though.

Look at us. I tell you I love you and instead of coming even more together, it drives you further away. What am I to do with that? You broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. Do you even care that I may never be able to put them back together? What am I to do with a broken heart? I wasn't made for a broken heart.

I feel so out of control right now. I feel like I'm falling out of place. With everything. Especially with you though. You used to be my anchor. Now, I'm just floating around and you could care less.

What am I to do? What can I do? What can I do!?

I never knew what I was doing. I just knew that I had you. I just know that I wanted to be close to you. I just knew that I loved you. Now, I have nothing. I have no one and all I want is you. Just you.

I tried being patient. I've waited and waited. I feel like all I ever do is wait for you. I'm trying to stay calm but I'm cracking. I'm getting worn down. I'm tired.

Can you please come back to me? Can you please just stay? Can you please just love me?

I feel like I'm dying and you're the one killing me. You set me on fire to drown me in water. Letting me live to just send me to my grave.

I'm tired. I can't cry anymore. Just come cuddle me. Please. I love you.

Love,
Brittany