Coping
A/N: We own nothing. Work by Timewaster123456789 and SesshomaruFreak
"You're not alone," Uruhara said laying a hand on the warrior's shoulder.
She was gone.
Uruhara's words were cold comfort to the deep, dark gouge in his soul. Without really meaning to, he shrugged the hand off his shoulder. He could feel the smaller man watching him solemnly, that annoying fan absent for once.
His baby girl was gone.
And it hadn't even been in a glorious battle. A fever had struck her in the night, stealing her precious breath and stilling her heart by morning. So he had found out when he went to wake her.
He was alone. Again.
"Hey, hey man over here," Uruhara said snapping his fingers, he was nervous, downright scared even but the quicker he dealt with the situation the better. Zaraki swallowed visibly and looked up, murder in his eye.
"The fuck do you want?" he snarled. Uruhara took an unconscious step back.
"Look this is...it sucks but it wasn't anyone's fault," he tried.
"Really? Ya' don' think someone shoulda noticed she was dying!" he roared. Uruhara noticed his hand was on the hilt of his zanpakuto, it was shaking slightly.
"There weren't any signs," he replied calmly.
"Shut up and get out," Zaraki's voice had turned deathly quiet, which itself freaked him out a bit.
He didn't leave though he did take a couple steps back so he wasn't near the demon's personal space. "I'm sorry. I know you'd rather be alone, but it would be irresponsible to leave you like this. That'd make me a shit if I left you right now."
The bigger man faced away, some of the fight leaving him. "Fuck you, Uruhara."
Kisuke bit his lip as he watched the younger shinigami holding back his grief.
He punched the wall-well through the wall actually-with a growl, Uruhara stiffened and tried to remember if his will was up to date. He wasn't necessarily afraid to die, but this was suicidal even by shinigami standards.
The other captain however merely sank to the floor, reached out as though to pick up Yachiru's body then froze.
"Leave...please," he added, voice rough. "They won't blame ya." he raised his head to meet the scrawny fellow's gaze, imploring.
Uruhara hesitated, before he finally nodded. He spoke softly, knowing how he'd feel if anything happened to his little ones. "I know you feel alone right now, but don't forget that we're all here for you."
He backed out of the hospital room. He'd been here helping Unohana with the fever making Shinigami sick. This morning, Kenpachi had burst in, carrying Yachiru. It'd been too late.
Shaking his head in sympathy, he closed the door, wincing at the soft sob he heard as it shut.
Uruhara walked out into the hall and almost ran into Unohana, the only one brave enough to go anywhere near that room.
"Wait a bit 'kay?" he said. Unohana looked contemplative and then nodded sadly. She moved to another ward to let the hardened warrior grieve freely, away from prying eyes. Company would just mean the burden of an audience now.
XXX
Zaraki buried his face in Yachiru's body in an attempt to stifle the flood of emotion. She wouldn't want anyone crying over her, but shit she shouldn't have gone out like this. Bored and in bed, she would have hated it. He wept into her robe and when felt drained and empty remained, holding her body until it was cold.
The next day a very hungover Kenpachi—seriously, the fuck? He didn't think he could still get hangovers—stood in front of his assembled squad.
The squad members had already been briefed on Yachiru's death. That was a mercy, he wasn't sure that he could have gotten through that without things getting very awkward. No one was foolish enough to say anything about the loss, they just kept their heads down and pretended it was business as usual, another mercy.
"Ikkaku'll be tha new vice," he said, like he could just replace Yachiru. His voice was rough from screaming at…whatever the hell he'd fought the night before, he didn't remember, rough with emotion though he absolutely refused to breakdown again, even if a part of him almost wanted to.
Kenpachi nursed his hangover as Ikkaku spoke to the squad. Fuck, he wished he could remember who he'd fought last night. It better not have been fuckin' Kuchiki. Yachiru would be so disappointed if he finally fought the princess and couldn't remember it. All he could remember was him screaming and drinking.
But, he felt marginally better. Yes, he still hurt like hell but he felt like he'd let a bit of the darkness out in the fight last night.
XXX
In a private room at the Fourth, Unohana bent over three bruised and broken bodies, trying to heal cuts and shattered bones. "You were all very reckless."
Silvery eyes filled with pain met hers "We simply gave that barbarian what he needed."
A hand was run through short orange hair. "Yeah. He almost wiped us all out, even drunk."
A fan appeared and fluttered dismissively. "If only one or two of us had faced him, he probably would've killed us."
XXX
~Flashback~
Byakuya strode determined, toward the wild reiatsu in the woods that skirted the Rukongai. He knew that it was even odds he was walking to his death, but a debt was a debt and he intended to square accounts.
He saw streak of orange as the Ryoka boy flashstepped by. Using shunpo himself he caught up and grabbed the boy's shoulder.
"Ichigo Kurosaki, what are you doing here?" he asked.
"I'm going to fight Kenpachi," Ichigo replied fiercely.
"No."
"Well it's not really your choice."
Byakuya shook his head, "You think because you defeated him once you're invincible. You're not."
"I'm stronger now."
"He's enraged and you're not going to try to kill him he likely won't care...not tonight," Byakuya added because it was just the ryoka boy and he had to understand.
"What are you doing then?"
Byakuya looked away, "It's none of your concern."
"Back at ya."
Insolent. He was quickly losing patience.
"He will likely kill whoever crosses his path. I've accepted that risk, you have no reason to."
"He saved my life! Look why don't we tag-team?" at Byakuya's look of confusion he added, "Fight together. It'll be safer for everyone."
Before Byakuya could agree or disagree, Kisuke Uruhara strolled into sight. "Well then. Looks like we had the same idea."
A burst of unstable, grieving reiatsu exploded nearby, catching their attention. Then they looked back at each other solemnly. Byakuya spoke in a quiet tone. "You know he's probably drunk and won't even remember tonight?"
When the other two nodded, he sighed. "Suit yourselves."
They approached the monstrous captain and Byakuya took the first shots sniping with kido, only half trying to hit, making a distraction for Ichigo. Ichigo dove in and his zanpakuto rang as it clashed with Kenpachi's nameless blade. Uruhara held back waiting to swap in when Ichigo tired. They fought like tigers, Ichigo fell on his back with a bloody slash across the chest, overpowered by the grieving man and Byakuya held him at bay-barely- with kido until Ichigo could flash away.
"This is definitely preferable to what I had planned," Uruhara said, relief and gratitude in his tone.
"And that was?" Byakuya asked through gritted teeth.
"Fight, likely die, not much of a plan I know," Uruhara replied with a self-conscious laugh. Byakuya nodded in understanding.
They had taken turns until the drunk, grief-stricken captain had simply passed out. Then the three of them had carried his unconscious body to his quarters. They stood watching for a moment, and Ichigo asked softly, "Think he'll be ok?"
Byakuya murmured, "Perhaps. It was a tremendous loss for him, but we did what we could. Let's get ourselves to the Fourth before we pass out."
Limping, the three had made it to the hospital before collapsing.
~End Flashback~
XXX
Unohana wiped her brow as she stabilized the three men. She understood what they had done for Kenpachi, but it didn't make her job any easier. At least they didn't have the demon from Zaraki on suicide watch. It had gone against her every instinct to leave him alone, but she'd understood why Uruhara had asked. Honestly she was surprised that there'd been so little damage to the room, the building really.
XXX
Ikkaku was growing twitchy, on a break he pulled Yumi aside.
"Am I blind or is he doing ok?" there was no need to elaborate. While the loss obviously weighed on their captain, he was…saner than Ikkaku had expected.
"Seems to be," Yumi replied worried.
"Shit."
After work was over he and Yumi strolled towards the fourth's hospital wing. There was no way their captain was this calm unless someone was dead and there wasn't anyone to blame outside of the fourth. As much as they liked to give the fourth shit, the Eleventh did need them, it would be their asses swinging if their captain had pissed Unohana-taichou off. Entering with trepidation, they searched for anyone who might have been his target.
They searched fruitlessly for almost an hour and were about to give up, when Yumi remembered the private rooms towards the back. Stealthily, they snuck into the back and started reading the door tags.
Osaba-flu
Kokiwa-training accident
Sarai-dog bite
Kuchiki, Kurosaki, Uruhara-fighting.
They raised their eyebrows at each other, then pushed the door open.
Yumi winced at the sight of the three lying on cots wrapped in bandages. Uruhara smiled sheepishly, Ichigo just glared.
"Ow," Ikkaku said sympathetically. He felt a bit guilty, it should have been him lying there, his captain, his duty but logically knew he'd dead six times over. "Well at least it wasn't any of the fourth," he said to Yumi not questioning the circumstance. Even if there had been other patients with similar injuries there weren't many people who could lay those three low, word would have gotten around if Aizen was back and picking between Ukitake, Kyouraka, Soutaichou and Taichou wasn't exactly rocket science.
"Why? There's no way he blamed you. None of you really knew Yachiru and I'd have thought Kuchiki and Uruhara would've had the sense to lay low,"
Byakuya cleared his throat and said quietly, "I knew her. She often came to the manor to wreak havoc with the rest of the Women's Association. I always carried sweets for her. In fact..."
Everyone watched as the noble produced a sweet bun from his sleeve. They all stared at it, realizing Yachiru would never eat the treat. A sniffle was heard, but all eyes stayed on the sticky dessert. Another sniffle broke the silence. Then Ikkaku spoke in a rough voice. "Thanks for fighting him, you guys. He does seem a little better today."
Ichigo lifted his eyes from the sweet bun. "Are you guys gonna tell him it was us he fought?"
Ikkaku shrugged, "He'll figure it out quick enough."
Yumi wiped his eye on the pretext of adjusting a feather and heard someone exhale shakily, "You guys are going to look like particularly disgusting mummies for a while even Uruhara can't hide that."
Ikkaku made a sound that someone being tactful could have called a laugh, "You remember the first time she met Cherry?"
Yumi smiled. "Yeah, they loved each other from first sight. Then Cherry would show up and go with Yachiru at night to..." he trailed off, but Byakuya spoke up.
"They worked together to steal my carp." When Yumi and Ikkaku looked at him, he nodded. "Do you not think I would set up surveillance once my fish started disappearing?"
Ikkaku tilted his head, asking quietly, "Why didn't you stop her?"
Byakuya hesitated, then glanced out the window. "She wasn't doing any harm."
Yumi, shared a glance with Ikkaku and knew from the minute softness he saw that there would be rather less toying with the noble in the future.
"She never did. Unless she needed to of course, " Ikkaku said grinning at the last, well trying to at least.
"She was a little terror was what she was. A flushing dog for that psychopath," Ichigo groused, rolling over so his back was to them.
Everyone but Byakuya smiled at their experiences with the little monster, and even he looked contemplative. It was quiet in the room as they all sat with their memories.
Then the door opened and a mess of red hair looked in. "Taichou?" Upon seeing Byakuya, Renji came into the room. Getting a good look at the noble, he gasped. Byakuya had a broken nose and a black eye, and was swathed in bandages. "Sir, what the hell happened to you? I've been looking for you all morning, now I find you like this?"
The leader of the Kuchiki clan glanced around the room, but nobody was coming to his rescue. He sighed deeply. "We fought Kenpachi last night."
Renji's eyes widened. "Why?"
Byakuya sighed again. "Because he needed it."
Renji suddenly looked like he understood perfectly. "Yes, sir," he said as he bowed.
Renji wanted desperately to ask if his captain was alright but didn't dare publicly. Instead he turned to Ikkaku, but his old Senpai was lost in thought with tears in his eyes despite or perhaps because of his smile.
He settled for asking Yumi, "So how is he?" There was no need to explain who 'he' was. Yumi hesitated and Renji gave a look that said 'it's me, now talk'.
Finally, the aesthetic-obsessed 5th seat gave in. "He's doing better than we expected, presumably due to the fight with them."
Renji nodded, assessing the injuries from the corner of his eye. The three fighters were all swathed in bandages, Uruhara sported two black eyes and a busted lip, Ichigo was still facing away, but it sure looked like some of his hair was missing.
Renji sighed softly. He'd prayed the night before for a way for his former superior to be ok. But he hadn't expected his current taicho, one of his best friends, and Kisuke to all end up fucked up. He was especially worried about the noble, but couldn't exactly say that. Ever.
With another quiet sigh, he bowed to his captain. "I'll go watch over the squad, Taicho."
He heard the older man ask, "What do you intend to tell them if they ask about me?"
He sent a small smile to his superior. "Just that you're occupied elsewhere, sir. I won't tell anyone you're here." Byakuya nodded approvingly.
XXX
For three weeks Kenpachi carried out his duties and avoided the people he had learned he'd fucked up. Seriously, Yachiru would never forgive him for not remembering that.
When the victims were back at full strength, he made his way to a clearing in the forest to meet them.
He faced the three, Ichigo looked twitchy and uncertain, the other two were unreadable. He pulled his sword from his belt and dropped it to the ground. Fuck that hurt, he felt alone, well more alone without the blade, but it was the only way he could be certain instinct wouldn't get in the way of what he needed to do.
"Fair trade," he said standing with his arms spread.
"No, we're even now," Byakuya said coldly.
"Even? Wait…ya don't still think ya owe me fer..." Kenpachi began, shocked. Byakuya glared and for once, out of gratitude he shut-up. The noble walked away, He would have much preferred to square accounts there but this wasn't about him. He waited for the other two to give their response.
Ichigo and Kisuke glanced at each other and shrugged. "Nah, we're good," Ichigo said, and Kisuke nodded. "We don't regret what we did."
Kenpachi took a deep breath to keep from saying anything foolish. "Fine. I can live with that." He turned away, gratitude warring with guilt in his heart.
As they went their separate ways, Ichigo smiled to himself. He'd heard the rumors, but... Kenpachi really had looked better.