I've been looking through a few stories in my school from one of my classmates (she writes Harry Potter), and I've found this really stupid and annoying fanfiction about Harry Potter. Soo damn annoying, but comical. It was a dreaded Mary Sue fic. Then I trawled through my stories I wrote when I was 8 years old. Guess what I found? More Mary Sue fics. So to save people from this abyss, I've decided to do a step-by-step guide to writing Mary Sues. They should give me a medal for this.

Everything I do in this fic is intentional and carefully planned and mapped out, to fully imitate and fully present to you the full Mary Sue experience. If you don't like it, then don't read it. Otherwise, you are welcome to stay.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Yu-Gi-Oh or anything else of the like. Oh, except for... GAH!!!! I can't type the blasted name because it's too long! And yes, I'll chuck her to my pet piranhas once I'm done with this fanfiction.

The text in bold are meant to be a guide. After all, this IS A Dummy's Guide to Mary Sues.

A Dummy's Guide to Mary Sues

Chapter 1: Starting off - Names and Descriptions

When one writes a Mary Sue, remember to give them extra long names that have more than three syllables OR use words that rarely are used as names. Descriptions are also neccessary. You may also repeatedly emphasize on their appearance for added effect.

All was well in Domino High. It was a perfectly beautiful cloudless sky, the birds were singing and the trees were dancing in joy. Yugi and his gang were happily chatting away in Domino High.

This joyful gathering was interrupted by the ringing of the dreaded school bell, where you could hear students scrambling back to their classrooms. However, Yugi's homeroom teacher had already made it, and greeted the students.

"Good morning class."

"Good morning Mr Wilkins." The teacher looked very flustered and adjusted his thick rimmed glasses, and took role call.

"Today, we have a new student coming in from America, and..." He stared at the empty seat. "She's late."

"Ooh, that means she needs to get detention!" whispered Yugi eagerly to Yami (Atemu, Yami Yugi, your choice. I'm calling him Yami.) Yami nodded gravely. Then suddenly the door creaked open.

When the door did open, you could almost already hear a chorus of angels chanting the hallelujah. It was fitting, for in stepped perhaps the most beautiful woman/girl/female that mankind would ever set their eyes upon. She was so beautiful, in fact, that she seemed to suck the air out of the room.

She was beautiful, mind you, with long, silky, radiant, gorgeous, beautiful, smooth, silky blonde tresses with pink streaks in her hair, even though the rules in Domino High forbade you from dying your hair (with exceptions to Yugi coz that's his natural hair colour). Her eyes were multi-coloured, brilliant sapphire blue orbs with the tints of the colour of the rainbow. Her skin was a pale snow white colour that made her look like an ethereal beauty. Not that she wasn't one. She was tall and had a good figure, and even in the extra dorky Domino High uniform she looked like a supermodel. When she smiled, her teeth was so white already you could have gone blind - permanently.

Note that Mary Sues should have a powerful force of attraction and attract all the hearts of all main, minor characters and all the offscreen people. Also, there should be an intense hate for the rival of the object of the Mary Sue's affections - and vice versa.

The moment this wonderous masterpiece of mankind stepped in, already the teacher had stopped thinking on what ways to punish the latecomer and was now staring at her chest, a small pool of drool on the floor. All the guys were having very suspicious nosebleeds and all the straight girls turned - ahem - (cough cough choke choke HACK), except for Anzu, who had suddenly and mysteriously developed this intense hate and rage for this newcomer.

"Ah... right," remarked the teacher, wiping a blob of drool from the corner of his mouth. "Introduce yourself." She flashed a dazzling smile at the teacher.

"My name is Marianne Cinderella Jadis Tinkerbell Glamour Cherry Blossom Fortuna, but you can call me Marie," she began in her lovely, sing-sing, musical, silky smooth and trilling voice to the now currently hypnotized classroom (except Anzu, who was growling at her). "I'm from America, and I'm very pleased to meet you!" She waved a bit, and there was a collective swooning.

"Sir, I'm late, stupid chaffeur -" At this precise moment, the famed Seto Kaiba stepped into the classroom holding his metal briefcase of documents, and did the unthinkable. When he saw Marianne Cinderella Jadis Tinkerbell Glamour Cherry Blossom Fortuna, he tripped and fainted on the floor. Yes. The Seto Kaiba tripped and fainted. That was how beautiful Marianne Cinderella Jadis Tinkerbell Glamour Cherry Blossom was.

"Alright then, Marie, you can sit next to Yami over there," remarked Mr. Wilkins, gesturing at Yami. Marianne Cinderella Jadis Tinkerbell Glamour Cherry Blossom flashed a brilliant smile at Yami and glided over in her 6 inch high heels. Anzu however, was glaring daggers at Marianne Cinderella Jadis Tinkerbell Glamour Cherry Blossom.

Ooh, she is soo going to dieeeeee, thought Anzu to herself.

Had to keep and feed myself with good, decent fics to keep myself sane throughout writing this "guide". How was it? I do hope you liked it and got a few laughs throughout the entire thing.

Reviews and ideas are greatly appreciated for this particular story since my references come from Wikipedia. I love you, Wikipedia.