Break Me to Pieces

Lena

My eyes are exhausted and my vision is starting to blur. I remove my glasses and gently rub my eyes before replacing them.

I've been tucked away at my favorite table at the back corner of the library working since I abandoned the deafening silence of my empty apartment just before 7pm. I'm creating the upcoming midterms for the physics and engineering classes that I am teaching this semester and working on lesson plans for the remainder of the semester. I have just finished my lecture notes for a chapter on quantum field theory and I am now in desperate need of a break. And coffee.

From my vantage point overlooking the large room, I take a quick peek around and notice that the place is now practically deserted, save me and a blonde girl sitting across the room near the exit. Though I can only see her in profile, her rigid posture and bouncing knee tells me that she is likely very stressed out. My hypothesis is confirmed a second later when she takes off her black-framed glasses and starts massaging her temples.

'Definitely stressed.'

Glancing at my watch, I understand why the place is empty. Besides the fact that it's a Friday night, and there are very few students who would choose to spend the first night of the weekend studying in the campus library, it's also 11:48pm, and the ones who did put in some extra study time had all filtered out by 8:30pm to start their weekend plans with friends, no doubt.

'Friends. There's a luxury that not even a Luthor can afford.'

Since it's getting close to midnight and I either need coffee or sleep, I decided that this would be a good stopping point. Closing my laptop, I let out a quiet sigh as I stretch my stiff muscles and begin packing up my things. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that the sounds of my movements must have caught the attention of the blonde who is seemingly alerted to my presence for the first time, as she lets out a quiet gasp, probably at the realization that she is not alone. She checks the time on her watch, shoulders slumping, and runs both hands through her golden locks, seemingly in frustration.

'It looks like I'm not the only one in need of a study break.'

She then stands and begins to quickly pack up her things as well, shoving things a bit haphazardly into the yellow backpack lying on the table next to her.

Bringing my attention back to my own table, I finish gathering my notes and place them back in the appropriate section of my notebook. Once everything is neatly placed in my messenger bag, I stand and put on my jacket and scarf and secure my bag across my body. I gently push in my chair so as not to draw any more attention to myself or break the otherwise silence of the library by scraping it across the floor and begin walking towards the exit, internally debating on stopping for coffee or just going straight home to my cold, empty apartment.

I make my way towards the exit, decided on going to the 24-hour diner just off campus for coffee, and I see some of the girl's papers slide off the table into my path. She doesn't notice that they have fallen as she is busily trying to push a textbook into her backpack and muttering quietly to herself. Approaching her table, I crouch down and gather her fallen notes, noticing that she's been studying for a marketing class similar to one that I took as an undergrad for my business degree.

I stand back up and reach out to give them to her, clearing my throat softly to get her attention, and she finally turns and notices me. As her gaze falls upon me and our eyes meet, I am instantly frozen where I stand, arm extended, mouth hanging open. Breathless.

Her eyes are the most exquisite shade of sparkling blue that I have ever seen in my life. Although I can see frustration, sadness, and a little confusion in them right now, they are crystal clear and remind me of warm tropical waters in a remote paradise. I suddenly have the overwhelming sensation that I have fallen into their depths and am sinking fast, unable to breathe, but unable to care. I am drowning in her eyes, and I don't want to be rescued.

It feels like I have been lost in her eyes for an eternity, but in reality, only a couple of seconds have passed—just long enough to make it awkward. I can feel my cheeks growing very warm against my will, and my brain finally decides to save me from further social awkwardness, waking me out of my reverie.

'Breathe, dummy.'

It feels like it takes every ounce of my strength to blink, to look away from those eyes and come up for air. I take in a breath to recompose myself, and glance down at the papers still in my hand.

"You dropped these." I say, offering them to her with a friendly smile.

She searches the table and quickly finds her glasses. Pushing them up on her nose, she takes the papers from me and looks down at them. A flash of a frown crosses her face, her beautiful face, but it is quickly replaced with a shy smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Thank you." She replies quietly, glancing at me and just as quickly glancing away. Her eyes are sad, and the way that my heart aches because of her sadness catches me completely off guard. I unexpectedly feel protective of her for no logical reason and want to cheer her up.

'Run. Run away and never look back.'

I should listen to my better judgement and politely take my leave then. I should wish her a good night, turn, and walk away. I should forget about this beautiful stranger with the sapphire eyes that seem to gaze into the depths of my soul. I should, and I know it subconsciously, but my feet don't move as my brain and my body have other ideas. There is something about this girl that pulls me in. Before I realize what is happening, my hand has already extended itself towards her again and I hear my own voice in my ear.

"I'm Lena. It's nice to meet you…"

"Um…I'm Kara. Kara Danvers. It's very nice to meet you, too, Lena." As soon as our hands touch, there is a jolt of something akin to electricity that passes between us. I know she feels it by the way her breath hitches and her eyes widen slightly as she looks down at our joined hands.

Letting go of her hand and instantly missing the contact, I reach into the pocket of my messenger bag to retrieve my car keys. I should go, but part of me doesn't want this conversation to end just yet. I know that I should get as far away from both this girl and whatever this feeling is that is seeping in, but I feel drawn to Kara Danvers.

"I thought I'd be the only one insane enough to be here this late on a Friday night" I say.

"Yeah, um, I usually study with my…with some other friends, but they're on curfew for tomorrow's game, and I didn't want to impose on them, so here I am trying to get my head around this material before midterms, which are right around the corner. Besides, who wants to spend their Friday night studying in a stuffy old library, anyway? N-not that there's anything wrong with studying in the library on a Friday night, this is…this is a great library, and I'm just going to stop talking now."

Her rambling is endearing and quite adorable. She's blushing now, and she's wearing an embarrassed smile as she reaches up and adjusts her glasses. Yep, adorable.

She's all packed up now, and we're walking towards the door together in a comfortable silence. With only a few steps left until we reach the door, I am scrambling to come up with a way to extend our time together.

Reaching the door first, I push it open and stand against it to hold it for her as she passes. Stepping out into the night, I feel the chill of fall in the air. The temperature has dropped quite a bit since sunset, and the thought of that hot coffee is calling my name.

'Bingo.'

"Kara, would you like to join me for a coffee? I'm headed to the diner just off campus, and I'd love some company." I am hopeful that she will accept my invitation, and that hopefulness is inadvertently evident in my voice.

I'm not supposed to be hopeful. I'm not supposed to care. I'm not supposed to show emotion. That goes against everything that I've been taught growing up, yet in the span of a few minutes, this girl has started to unravel me.

'Get it together, Luthor.'

She seems a little surprised at my invitation, but I don't have to wait long for her to respond.

"I'd love to!" She smiles enthusiastically. It lights up her whole face, and for a moment it feels like the sun has come out to shine directly on me. It warms me from the inside, a stark contrast to the coldness that always accompanies me. It is an unusual but not unwelcome feeling, and it is impossible to stop the return smile that is slowly stretching across my face.

"Great! We can take my car, if that's ok with you, unless of course you want to drive your own" I add.

"Oh, no, no, no. That's fine, I flew here. On…on a bus." She's flustered again and I can't hold in the giggle this time.

"I'm parked this way," I say, turning slightly towards the parking lot beside the library.

"Shall we?" she says with a grin and offering me her arm. I don't typically allow touching aside from a handshake, and especially not from someone I literally just met 5 minutes ago, but there's something about her. I hesitantly reach up to her offered arm, and lightly place my hand in the crook of her elbow. This position forces us to walk much closer than I am usually comfortable with, but she makes me feel safe and the warmth radiating from her is welcome against the chilly night.

'What is she doing to me?'