A/N: I know I know I know I know I have no business starting another new fic right now but listen. Wouldn't you rather I post what I've got than not post at all?

That's a rhetorical question, unless the answer is 'Yes, of course! You're so right!' Lmao.

I'm also doubly sorry because I'm writing another breakup fic. But I like this one a lot better than Last Year, and hopefully you will too. This one is set mid-season five also, but the events leading up to this story are much different, as you'll see.

Okay. Sorry sorry sorry. Now, onward.

Disclaimer: I may not be Sorkin, but I'm about to put these characters through hell just like he taught me.

Reviews: Yes please always! Please go easy on my messy self :')

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The same to me are sombre days and gay.

Though joyous dawns the rosy morn, and bright,

Because my dearest love is gone away

Within my heart is melancholy night.

My heart beats low in loneliness, despite

That riotous Summer holds the earth in sway.

In cerements my spirit is bedight;

The same to me are sombre days and gay.

Though breezes in the rippling grasses play,

And waves dash high and far in glorious might,

I thrill no longer to the sparkling day,

Though joyous dawns the rosy morn, and bright.

Ungraceful seems to me the swallow's flight;

As well might Heaven's blue be sullen gray;

My soul discerns no beauty in their sight

Because my dearest love is gone away.

Let roses fling afar their crimson spray,

And virgin daisies splash the fields with white,

Let bloom the poppy hotly as it may,

Within my heart is melancholy night.

And this, oh love, my pitiable plight

Whenever from my circling arms you stray;

This little world of mine has lost its light ...

I hope to God, my dear, that you can say

The same to me.

-Dorothy Parker

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It's a comparatively slow Monday morning for CJ. Her first briefing of the day had gone well, aside from one overly cosmetic question about the First Lady which had irked her (though of course she would never show it), and she had just finished up a senior staff meeting that was overall quite dull. Dull in a good way, of course - she'd much rather debate the intricacies of education policy with her coworkers than spend the morning in disaster-relief mode. She even had the good fortune of a few minutes to herself to pick up a cup of coffee and a Danish from the mess, which she takes back to her office to enjoy in peace. She's just taking her second bite when her phone rings.

She seriously considers ignoring it. But she didn't sacrifice six years of her life to half ass this job, or even 99% ass this job, so she sighs and picks up, brushing Danish crumbs from her lips as if whoever is on the other end can see her.

"CJ Cregg." She greets.

Her caller doesn't bother introducing herself. "What are you doing this weekend?"

CJ perks up instantly. "Donna Moss?"

"Who else?"

CJ chuckles despite herself. "It may shock you to learn that a lot of people call me at work on the daily, Donna, darling."

"It does. What is it you do again? Phone sex operator?"

"Oh no, you know that's just a hobby."

Donna once might've laughed wildly at this comment, but today CJ can hear only the faintest trace of a smile in her voice. "Why do you always say my last name?"

"What, Moss? I don't know, Donna Moss just rolls off the tongue. I'm not the only one who says it all the time." She regrets saying this, because she immediately remembers who it is she'd picked up this endearing habit from. If the pause on the other end of the line is anything to go by, Donna remembers too. At least she hadn't said Donnatella.

"Anyway. What are you doing this weekend, CJ Cregg?"

CJ sighs, and leans back in her chair. Absently, she picks up her coffee and swills it. "Oh, you know. Work. I'm hoping to get my first haircut in months on Saturday, but who knows if-"

"That was a rhetorical question, CJ. Obviously."

"It was?"

"You're hanging out with me this weekend."

"Oh. Well I didn't know." CJ smiles warmly. "Are we possibly getting our hair done?"

"We're not."

"It doesn't matter what it is, I'll make the time. You have no idea how much I miss you. The West Wing is pretty much a bubble of testosterone these days."

"Gross. Don't pop it."

CJ laughs, that full throated laugh that warms Donna to her core. "I miss our little talks."

CJ had had no idea when she decided to take an eager and trembling young assistant under her wing, that she'd be getting a best friend for life. Whereas their bond could've been explained away by the fact that they were the two women most often "in the room," that simply wasn't it. CJ hadn't gotten as close to any of the other assistants, nor to any mid-level staffers. She and Donna were something of kindred spirits, both tall bombshells weighed down by hefty intelligence and mild social awkwardness. One cared too much what others thought of her and the other perhaps too little, but both were strong women capable of taking the world by storm - and together, they often did.

Donna was that rare combination of bitingly fierce and genuinely kind, and from the first "Joshua, sit down, shut up, and eat a goddamn banana," CJ had fallen in love with her and never fallen out of it. Their differences in age and education level simply didn't matter - but then, most of the senior staffers felt that way about Donna. She could hold her own, and she had made herself part of the family.

Until recently, that is.

"I do too." Donna confesses softly. "But, you'll be pleased to know, we can have plenty of them this weekend! That's the whole idea."

"Okay. So we're just hanging out? A night in, maybe some wine, popcorn, and Working Girl?"

"That's not exactly what I had in mind."

"A different Harrison Ford movie, then."

"Actually," Donna takes a deep breath, and forces cheer into her tone. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go hiking this weekend?"

CJ hesitates, her lips on the rim of her coffee cup. She slowly lowers the mug to her desk. "I'm sorry, I must've heard you wrong. It sounded like you said-"

"Hiking. But, actually, more like backpacking. Of course that includes hiking, it just also includes us not returning home at night."

CJ aims an incredulous look at someone, but there's no one in the room, so she aims it at her computer screen. It should know how ridiculous this situation is. "Donna. You're kidding, right?"

"I'm not. I've got us entry passes for a stop on the Appalachian Trail and everything."

"The Appalachian Trail?" CJ repeats numbly. She can feel a cluster headache start to form behind her eyes.

"Yeah. We'll enter in Northern Virginia, hike south for a day, spend a night, hike a little more, turn around, start back, spend a night, and then hike back in the morning. Easy."

CJ rubs her forehead, her eyes falling shut. "You seem to have really planned this out."

"You can take Friday off, can't you?"

"I have no idea! The country doesn't really give me notice when it wants to throw a hissy fit about something."

"CJ, I don't mean to bruise your ego or anything, but I think the country can cope without you for a day."

CJ pouts. "I wouldn't be so sure."

"Plus, no one around there would dare question you needing a few days off. You know Leo would give it to you in a heartbeat, CJ, all you have to do is ask."

She hates that she's right. "Donna, I feel I should bring up the obvious."

"What?"

"Neither of us can backpack!"

"Sure we can. It's just like walking, but in nature and with a heavy bag."

"You hate nature. I hate nature."

"I don't hate nature. I'm just not overly... Familiar with it, that's all."

"Well, I'm as familiar as I want to be. And I hate it."

"Aren't you dating some park ranger?"

"Hey, he doesn't start taking questions from the press, I don't wander around in the woods. That's why we work."

"If you're worried about equipment, I know a guy at a recreation center who's willing to rent us stuff at a really great rate."

"Why is it that you seem to 'know a guy' in every conceivable place?"

"I've been told I make friends wherever I go." Donna says, but she lacks her usual brightness and sass.

"This is true." CJ says idly.

"C'mon, it'll be fun. A couple of big city girls roughing it for a couple of days, having deep conversations and some not so deep conversations about nothing. We can stare at the stars and complain about work."

"Donna..."

"I need a break from this town." Donna confesses in a rush. A ten minute walk away, she sits at her desk, staring into a similarly cold cup of coffee. She fingers the hem of her over large sweater, and is ashamed at the tears pooling suddenly in her eyes. "I... I have to get out of here. I can't breathe here. I need some space, some time, to think, to sort out everything I..." She sniffles. "I just need a break, CJ. And I know you need one too."

CJ's face creases in a deep frown of sympathy. Hesitantly, she says, "Donna, if this is about getting over a certain ex-boyfriend-who-shall-not-be-named..."

"It's not." Donna says immediately, and hastily wipes at her eyes. "It's not, CJ."

"Okay."

"Except for the fact that, yes, it is. It's a little bit about that. Or a lot, I don't know."

CJ sighs. "Donna," she intones softly.

"I know. But, listen, I have to try something. Anything. I have to move on, and people say it takes time, but I don't want to spend any more time feeling like this." Her voice is ragged and spent. She sniffs again, and even CJ's eyes start to water in empathy. Finally, Donna pleads in a small voice, "Please, CJ. I've just gotta get out of here."

CJ bites her lip. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes. I'll come."

"Oh, I'm so glad!" Donna cries enthusiastically, though it's hard to recover from her previous display of vulnerability.

"Just tell me we're not going to be burning pictures of him, or doing naked pow-wows or satanic chanting or something."

Donna laughs. It's a small laugh, but it's a real one this time. "No, CJ. We're not having a séance."

"Good. Though on second thought, the naked pow-wow on its own is a maybe."

"I'll add it to the itinerary."

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By Thursday, all of the preparations have been made. CJ has double checked the route, and had even asked Ben for some first-time backpacker advice. He had laughed at her, of course, as the idea of CJ hiking was more than a little funny to him, but eventually he calmed down enough to tell her she'd be fine, as long as she followed a few simple rules and kept her head about her.

She'd been to an outdoor recreation store with Donna to stock up on proper hiking attire. They bought a couple pairs of dry-fit pants and woolen socks each, but decided the rest of the expensive gear wasn't worth it for a three day trip. They already had windbreakers and fleeces, surely the high tech ones couldn't be much better. CJ had also been fitted for a pair of exceptionally functional and fashionable hiking boots, splurging more than $200 on them. She had justified it to Donna (and herself) by saying that she would start hiking with Ben after this, but in truth, she just really loves to buy shoes.

Leo had of course acquiesced to her request for three days off, but CJ had been able to keep the trip pretty quiet otherwise. That is, until Thursday morning, when the one thing she'd been dreading the most happens mere hours before she can make her escape.

They're gathered in Leo's office, running through the agenda for the day.

"We can throw that out with the trash tomorrow. CJ, slip it into the briefing towards the end, so we can..." He frowns, and rubs his forehead. "Oh, I'm sorry, CJ. I forgot."

CJ flinches visibly. "Don't worry about it."

"Forgot what?" Toby asks.

Leo looks back down at the memo in his hand, absently adjusting his spectacles. "CJ won't be here tomorrow."

"Why?" Josh joins in.

CJ wants to turn tail and run. "I'm going out of town."

"What for?"

"A trip."

"Where?"

"Could you possibly continue this conversation out of my office?" Leo asks as his phone starts ringing. The staffers mumble their assent and pile into the hallway.

CJ tries to escape to her office as quickly as possible, but she should know by now that few people on earth can walk faster than the White House deputy chief of staff, who pops up at her shoulder like an annoying little brother.

"Where ya going this weekend?"

She doesn't look at him. She attempts her usual cool CJ nonchalance. "Virginia."

"Virginia? Why?"

"If you must know, I'm going hiking." She says primly. "Well, backpacking, which includes hiking, of course, but-"

Josh's face lights up with mischievous glee, only enhancing his annoying little brother air. "You're going hiking?"

"Backpacking."

"You know that's in the outdoors, right?"

She glares at him. "I'm aware."

He chuckles, thoroughly enjoying this moment. "You sure you're ready for this?"

"I've gotta say, this line of inquiry seems rather sexist." She misdirects.

He rolls his eyes. "Are you going with Ben?"

"No, I'm not. I'm going with... A friend."

She knows that she doesn't pull this line off with ease, because he tenses up, too. He follows her into her office, his smile flickering. "Which friend?"

She hugs her folder to her chest. "A friend." She repeats feebly.

All of the humor is gone from his face now. Even as she refuses to meet his eyes, she knows that he knows. "CJ."

"I'm going with Donna, okay? Donna and I are going backpacking this weekend. There." She sighs, and finally raises her eyes to his. Contrarily, Josh looks away from her, his hands on his hips. She watches him try, vainly, to look as if he hasn't just suffered a body blow.

"Oh," is all he says.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it's just hard trying to navigate this whole neutrality thing, and I didn't know how you'd react, and..." She trails off lamely. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He looks small in that moment. He is no longer the Josh of constant movement and overzealous hand gestures, but one who has finally been pinned down by something. She thinks it might be grief. "She wants to go hiking?" He repeats incredulously.

She smiles softly. "Yeah. It was her idea."

"She doesn't like outdoorsy stuff."

CJ shrugs. "We're trying something new."

"Is she-"

"She's okay, Josh." She interrupts him, anticipating his question. His eyes flash guiltily. "She just wants to get away for a while. You understand that, right?"

He gives her a twisted smile. "No."

She shakes her head. Of course he doesn't. He's never had the urge to leave DC; but then, he runs away in a different fashion. He runs headlong into work. "You know how Donna is, Josh. She's always coming up with some new plan to change her life. One week it's a juice cleanse, the next it's meditation. Sometimes they stick, sometimes they don't. And right now, she wants to go hiking."

He frowns, looking away wistfully. He remembers a time when she would've enthused about this new life overhaul to him, and perhaps even cajoled him into joining her. He'd tried the damn meatless Mondays thing with her for a month; he would've gone hiking if she'd asked.

There's not much he wouldn't do if she asked.

"I like that about her." He confesses distractedly. He even smiles slightly. "I like that she always had hope that things would be better."

CJ gives him an infinitely sympathetic look. "She still does."

"That's... That's good."

"Yeah. Anyway, I'm excited about it."

Josh tries to regain some of his usual humor. "You guys won't be, like, burning pictures of me and dancing around the bonfire, right?"

CJ shoots him a glare, but is secretly amused at how similar his words are to hers earlier in the week. "Believe it or not, not everything is about you, Joshua."

He shrugs. "Just making sure."

She sobers her gaze and looks at him intently, reaching out to place one hand on his arm. "Don't let it bother you too much, okay?"

"Why would it bother me?" He attempts to sound breezy, but CJ's look cuts through him. "It shouldn't bother me," he corrects, and by that he's also saying, but it does.

Everything she does bothers him these days, because she's doing it without him. It hurts him to pass her on the street, because he knows that she's going somewhere she won't tell him about, that she's living a day she won't relive for him that night, and that she won't be coming home that night at all.

"Hey, look on the bright side. At least she's spending the weekend with me, not with some other guy." She can tell immediately that she's touched a nerve. She's right of course, but it's the thought that there could be other guys, whether now or in the near future, that makes his stomach hurt. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"Just, don't do anything stupid this weekend, okay?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, get hammered, sleep with your ex-girlfriend, steal a car. Leave twelve messages on Donna's answering machine."

"All valid tips." He mumbles. "She didn't appreciate that last one so much, did she?"

"I'm not getting into this with you, Josh."

"Okay. I know, I'm sorry."

She sighs. "Just, take care of yourself, okay? I doubt I'll have cell service and we both know Toby isn't the most emotionally available, so just... Please."

He gives her a wry smile. "I'll try."

"Okay." She takes her hand off his arm and goes to her desk, assuming they've said all that needs to be said.

"Well, have fun this weekend, I guess."

"Thanks." She flashes him a smile. "I'll try."

He hesitates in her doorway. "And, just... Don't hurt yourselves, okay?"

She gives him a knowing look. "I'll take care of her, Josh. That's what friends are for."

He isn't sure whether she's referring to her role as Donna's friend or his, but perhaps it works both ways. "Thanks, CJ."

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If CJ and Donna hadn't worked in DC for the past six years, their morning on Friday might be considered unbearably early. CJ picks Donna up at her new apartment, which isn't really her apartment so much as a coworker's who'd had an empty room at the time of the breakup, and they're on the road by six. They stop at Starbucks, because they're not totally beyond the confines of consumerist culture yet, and as CJ drives toward the Virginia border, Donna details their provisions.

"I brought edamame."

"Like, soy beans?"

"Yeah. But they're more like nuts. I've got lightly salted and wasabi."

CJ shrugs. "I guess that's better than starving to death."

"I've got canned soup-"

"A can opener?"

"Dammit, I knew I forgot something." Donna deadpans.

"Ah. You're joking. I see." CJ says, her thoughts elsewhere.

"CJ, what's up?"

"What? Oh. Um." CJ keeps her eyes on the road, her jaw clenching and unclenching. "Well. The thing is..."

"What?"

"I just thought maybe I should tell you that Josh knows about this weekend."

CJ glances away from the road briefly to gauge Donna's reaction. She's slumped back into her seat, all of the air having left her lungs. "Oh," is all she says. She and her ex-boyfriend seem to have similar difficulty forming complete sentences these days.

"Not that it really matters, but, I don't know. It felt like the kind of thing I should tell you. Again, this whole neutrality thing is-"

"It's okay, CJ."

"I wasn't going to tell him, actually. But Leo mentioned that I was going away this weekend during a staff meeting, and... You know."

"Yeah." She agrees idly. She takes her coffee from the cup holder and clasps it to her chest, hoping the warmth will spread through her.

"He's - I know it's not my place, but you know he's pretty broken up too, right?"

"CJ, don't-"

"And he's worried about you."

Donna snorts bitterly. "Ironic. Now he's concerned."

CJ bites her lip. "Okay. No more. I get it."

"Not until we're a couple miles deep in the Virginian wilderness, no, thank you."

CJ smiles softly. "Okay."

Donna reaches out and turns up the radio, which is currently playing Joan Jett. "Can we put the windows down?"

CJ hesitates. Normally she'd be concerned with the wind messing up her hair, but then she realizes, why should she care? She's about to trek into the woods with her best friend, not go on national television. The feeling is oddly liberating. "You bet."

Donna smiles. She rests her head against the door and lets the wind whip the worry from her face. The cold numbs her, from her nose to her fingertips. She thinks about how she could learn to love nature.

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Okay. Sorry sorry sorry. We should be back to our regularly scheduled programming just as soon as my brain decides to sit still for five minutes.

Hopefully you're maybe at least a little bit into this? I really want to continue this at some point.